The Philosopher's Stone
by Jibun no Omoi
Summary: The Philosopher's Stone. The most desired item that alchemists have strived for centuries to reach. The reason why no one has obtained it...do you know why? Because the Philosopher's Stone isn't a Stone. It isn't even an item. It's a human. HitsugayaXOC
1. The Definition of a Human Being

Konnichiwa, minna-san!

This is my first Bleach fanfiction, 'The Philosopher's Stone'. I hope that you'll enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.

**VERY IMPORTANT INFO! READERS WHO ARE VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT JAPANESE SPELLING, MUST READ!**

I am a local Japanese, so I don't know how to 'spell' Japanese with alphabets. I do not use the rules by the Romanji terms, I write down how the character pronounce the words, not how they spell it.  
e.g. Suman nai-(I'm sorry,etc) will become 'sman ne', because that it how they PRONOUNCE it. I'm sorry if this causes any difficulties for you. If anyone has any questions as how the term would be spelled by the book, send me a pm and I'd gladly sort things out.

_**Note: The first three chapters have lingual mistakes, but I got myself a beta reader from chapter 4 onwards. So please bear with it for now XD**_

-x-X-x-

**Chapter One 'The Definition of a Human Being'**

_**Light thinks that it is the faster than anything else, but it is wrong. For no matter how fast Light travels, it always realizes that Darkness is there before the Light, waiting for it.**_

-x-X-x-

The Philosopher's Stone. The most desirable item that alchemists have strived for centuries to reach.

The reason why no one has obtained it...

...do you know why?

Because the Philosopher's Stone isn't a Stone. It isn't an elixir. It isn't even an item.

It's a human.

--

Dr. Eisenhauer, Administrator of Laboratory 15, section: Wahrheit, reporting.

After five years of intense study and tests on subject 00, we have finally found a way to artificially transmute a human into a Philosopher's Stone.

Briefing:

According to the test results on subject 00, we have come closer to the truth why she is a Philosopher's Stone, despite the fact that she was born on Japanese soil.

Philosopher's Stones have a very high mental state - When Subject 00 went through the emotional test, we found out that throughout the experiments she never once shown any sign of pychosis. She did show signs of minor paranoia and had multiple breakdowns, but she never became mentally unstable. This fact was proven by comparing results with our human test subjects who went into severe stages of extreme paranoia, delusions, character disorders, post-trauma disorder and the list continues.

Though depression is possible, as Subject 00 has tried a total of 56 times to commit suicide. All of which failed due to our security.

Physically they heal relatively fast and permenant scars are common. However, the amount of fatal injuries they can handle is identical to those of a normal human. They are unable to re-grow body parts and they are as sensitive to pain as humans. In that perspective there is nothing remarkable.

Their intelligence is very high. Their analysing skill is beyond proficient as well as other aspects. They also have a photographic memory.

The character of a Philosopher's Stone is just as variable as a human's.

Their endurance in harsh conditions are also comparable with those of a human.

As you have said, Chief Doctor, she is like you a special case of a Spirit. Not inheriting the power of a Shinigami, is definitely related to you not inheriting the powers of a Soul Reaper.

--

This is Takahashi-taisan (colonel) of the military. We have arrested all your madmen and taken all your data after taking your 'Subject 00'. We have seen everything in the building, EVERYTHING. The torture chambers, the mountain of corpses, the test methods and results.

Mark my words, you sick bastard, I WILL find you. You WILL pay and you WILL suffer.

You are now officially on the wanted list right next to Osama Binladin. Though we might not know your name, we have enough to track you down.

Killing so many just to torture a _girl_...

You have scarred her for five years, you fantasy-addicted lunatic, you couldn't even have the heart to not make

**a five year old go through all that for five years.**

--

_I stared in horror as these scientists in white overcoats surrounded me. I was a mere child, so I had to look up to see the men's faces, my own amethyst orbs shaking with fear like every fiber of my body. The shine in their glasses reflected madness._

_''Hello there, Subject 00.''_

_''It's time to play now.''_

_I flinched as they grabbed me by my arm and dragged me into a room. I widen my eyes even more than possible at the all-too-familiar room that was similar to a feudal torture-chamber. They strapped my arm to chains. I looked up at them, panicking_

_''Please! Don't! No more! It hurts!'' Tears flew down my eyes as I pleaded them._

_''Oh, Miyuki-chan, you know we can't do that.'' The sadistic voices of those men made my spine shiver, my hope desolving like it always did. _

_''I want to see mom and dad...!'' Sobbing was the only thing I could do in my terrified state._

_One of them turned to me with his lips fixed in a twisted angle, an insane grin showing. Beads of sweat rolled down my body as I stood petrefied looking at him._

_''You'll see them soon...well, at least parts of them.''_

I snapped my eyes open as I sat up abruptly, panting and sweating as I looked around my surroundings. Here I was, 16 years old, in hospital, terminal with organ failure. Soon I cringed in pain from sitting up so abrubtly, rubbing my stomach. The pain was even with the help of morphine almost unbearable. And those nightmares weren't really helping...!

I had been treated like a lab rat for five years, those sick people wanting to play Columbus and discover something no one has ever seen before. They were always ranting about Shinigami, Soul Reapers, Alchemist, Alchemy, Reiryoku, Reiatsu... a bitter smirk crossed my lips when the one truth I knew without a doubt ran through my head: Everything I've been through was just the result of the imagination from mad scientists who read to many fantasy novels. I sighed. At the age of ten the government found their laboratory and got me out of that facility; I was under the government's protection ever since.

My parents, however... I winced before shaking my head to get rid of all those horrific images from my mind. I looked up to my side to see a mirror, and I stared sullenly at my reflection.

I was sent to a school after I had went through therapy, trying to socialize with other people my age. When I had finally found friends, and when I had finally thought that I had my whole life ahead of me, that life itself might be worth living, I was diagnosed as terminal. Terminal with the organ failure that was caused from those mad bastards cutting me open and playing around with my organs.

I observed my reflection as a frown creased my pale face. My black hair was tangled, I noticed, and I made a mental note to brush it soon - but since it reached down my hips, combing it was quite a job to accomplish. Those black bags under my amethyst eyes also made the frown on my face deepen. Those two bags were very noticable because of the paleness of my skin. Being practically neon-white...my friends have even once told me that I glowed in the dark, much to my chagrin. Another sigh escaped my lips before I crawled over to the other end of the bed to grab my status board. I sighed again, which is something I often do. Bad habit.

'Higurashi Miyuki...Multiple organ dysfunction syndrome...' I smirked; that's right. They don't call this multiple organ failure anymore, because the term was based upon physiologic parameters to determine whether or not a particular organ was failing. Well, my organs were failing, so I still used the latter term. I continue reading onto my main problem: 'Gut hypothesis, resulting to tissue injury and organ dysfunction.'

I remember the doctor saying that it was astonishing that I had managed to live without noticing this condition for another five years after the original insult.

''Hah. Maybe it's because I'm the 'Philosopher's Stone','' I said in a bitter tone which was supposed to mock myself as I put the status board back. My status had deteriorated comparing to three days ago. When I was diagnosed with MODS, the doctors never told me how long I had before I'd die - change of management which was enforced a while ago. Doctors won't tell you their estimate of how long you'll live in case they get it wrong. But it wasn't hard to guess the time myself. So far my predictions of when my certain counts would be over the roof or sink down to oblivion were all accurate. And looking at it from a logical and mathematical perspective I'd say that I had about... ''A week.''

''MIYUKIIII-CHAAAAN~'' The thoughts whirling around in my head were brought to a sudden halt by that high-pitched, sing-song voice. With a jolt from my head I looked up to see the door being opened abrubtly to reveal a blonde with a golden tan. Before you ask, yes, I have an obsession with tanned skin and I am very envious of anyone who has it. Without warning the girl suddenly jumped over to me and gave me a fierce hug.

''Miyuki-chan!'' The light pink irises of the girl, Sakiko, sparkled at me before I patted her back. A weary smile crossed my lips.

''Sakiko-chan, I'm really happy to see you too, but you're holding on a bit too tight...!'' She blinked before releasing me, and I filled my lungs with a long breath. Opening my eyes I was greeted by the sight of three more people; two boys who were identicle twins with brown eyes and hair - Koichi and Koji Mori. As well as a girl with silver hair and golden eyes. The two girls by my side were quite a sight to witness; Sakiko was classically beautiful, and Keiko, the other girl, was stunning. The two boys were also handsome young fellas.

''Oh, gomen!'' I chuckled at Sakiko's apology. She's always been so adorable.

''How are you feeling today, Miyuki?'' I turned to Keiko, her stylishly messy and short hair bouncing when she tilted her head on one side. Her face was unreadable, but her amber eyes showed concern.

''I feel fine, Keiko.'' I lied as I put up a fake smile. I was in great pain, but I didn't want them to know. They weren't even told that I was dying, because the hospital was only to tell my guardians of my condition. My parents were dead and the government didn't have a problem with secrecy, as they had no commitment to the people I interact with at school.

''Ya know, Higurashi, ya coulda given us a call when ya were done with yer mris and petscans!'' The complaint came out as a canon, which is how those two often spoke. They are a odd pair. Nice, but odd nevertheless. Though their company was always enjoyable.

''Warui, warui, (sorry) Koichi, Koji,'' I said, waving them off as the four started gathering around me. Sakiko sat on the corner of the bed, staring at me intently.

''Doesn't matter, but!'' I blinked at the sudden exclaim from the twins.

''Guess what...'' Koichi started, his arms motioning to the right.

''...We have...'' Koji continued, and his arms were motioning to the left.

''...TO TELL YOU!'' they yelled again in an unison as the brought their hands to point at me. Keiko shook her head, Sakiko giggled, and I followed Keiko's suit - I shook my head. They're lucky that they're so handsome, otherwise they would drive the girls away with their randomness. They'll be dorks long after I'm dead... I scoffed when that went through my head.

''I don't know, but I'm guessing that you're gonna tell me?'' I asked, smirking as I crossed my arms before arching a brow. If you had to describe me with one mouthful, it'd be 'sarcastic smartass'.

''We got a contract with a big-time talent-scout!'' Sakiko said, I widened my eyes at her words.

''Seriously?'' I was in disbelief.

''Yeah! Can you believe it?!'' she asked, beaming, her pink eyes laughing. ''That's why you have to have to get well soon! The band needs their lead singer!'' she reasoned. My heart instantly sank, the gloomy feeling returning in my system. But I my expression was unfazed, my smile was still there, bright and merry.

''You'll be alright,'' I said, tilting my head to the side and closing my eyes to support my smile. ''Definitely, so try hard!'' There was a very brief silence in the room because I didn't say that I would get well anytime soon. So I opened my eyes and gave them my trademark cheeky grin. This brief pause would end up as an awkward silence if I don't say anything to take their mind off my answer. '' 'Cause if you guys don't pull through, I'll personally rip your spines outta your assholes and play jump-rope with it!'' I mentally sighed in relief when snickers morphed to laughter.

We talked about other things. How everyone was doing, jokes, memories...we laughed as we told each other bits and pieces.

To think that I would leave my dearest friends...without even telling them...Just because I didn't want to face the sad faces of theirs in my last days. I wanted to see them smiling until the very end.

I'm sorry for being so useless, everyone...I'm so sorry.

--

All I could see was black. All I could feel was the numbness of my limbs. All I could hear were the faint noises of loud machines and the distressed yells of people...or more accurately doctors.

My electrocadiography was letting out a constant, loud beep. It never paused. It stayed constant.

That meant that my heart had stopped beating.

''She's crashing!''

''Code Blue! Get the crash-cart!!''

Their calls and voices were heavily muffled by the that annoying sound.

''Ready?! CLEAR!!''

I violent shock ran through my body as I jerked.

But the noise never changed.

''Nothing! Again! CLEAR!!''

Another jolt.

Another failure.

''Still nothing! CLEAR!!''

It repeated itself...

''Goddammit!! Stay with us, Miyuki! CLEAR!!!!!''

Again...

''One more time! CLEAR!!''

...Though by now it was definite.

''...Time of death, 14:12 pm...''

How would you define being surprised?

Getting in a car accident? Seeing someone pop out of no where like in cartoons? Passing an entrance exam where you were sure that you were going to fail? Having surpise birthday party when you actually forgot that it was your birthsay?

Try seeing your own corpse in front of you as a somewhat transparent figure?

I looked at the scenario for a while. No one could hear, see, smell or feel me. I could only stand there in utter shock as nurses and doctors walked past me.

''...You have got to be kidding me,'' I said to myself. ''What am I supposed to do now? Find a house to haunt?!'' I asked exasperedly, running my gloved hands through my sclap. ''It's your fault, Koichi, Koji! You and your damn ghost stories!''

I sighed and let my two black-glove hands fall to my side.

_This_ was death? Wasn't it just supposed to be a never ending slumber where all the lights just go out?

My thoughts were interrupted by a long, loud howl which boomed my ears. I looked around fanatically, noticing that no one paid any attention to it, or even made the motion of noting it. Couldn't anyone else hear that?!

I ran out of the hospital and towards the source of the noise. No one heard it! A freaking monster howl and no one heard it!

Arriving on a street, my eyes widened in horror as I looked at a giant, arachnid..._thing_ with a hole in it's chest, instead of the chain like I had. My mouth was agape as I stared at the monster.

I have experienced more than anyone should.

I have seen more than anyone should.

Therefore I knew how to react in any situation...

...But this sure as heck wasn't one of them!

What was this?! Was I dreaming again?!

It paid no attention to anyone on the streets and its red eyes seemed to be searching before suddenly glaring at me. I flinched as it dashed towards me. I tried to run away, but my legs wouldn't move. Time slowed down as I kept chanting 'this is bad, this is bad,' in my head. Raindrops started to fall from the dark clouds, one on my head. After the first drop, my body jerked from the sudden contact and broke from it's freeze, my gasp filled my lungs with air. Without another thought I turned around to run as fast as I could, but it was so much faster than me that it was ridiculous.

I was dead! Why did I feel adrenaline shooting in my veins if I was dead?! Why am I running away from anything!? I looked over my shoulder and saw it gaining up on me. I could feel my heart pumping faster as panic was becoming obvious.

Okay, fine! I'm just running for the heck of it!

I felt great pain at my side when I realized that I was slammed in fiercely by the monster and was sent flying. Wincing after I crashed into a thick, hard oak tree in the park, I held my shoulder; it was definitely broken, and most likely a few ribs, too. I turned to sit up against the base of the tree, my back shuddering in pain when I leaned on it. I smirked in irony; it's been six years since I've felt a reasonable amount of physical pain.

I felt blood trickle down my mouth in a thin line. I panted, starting to get dizzy...dammit. I looked up, seeing the monster was dashing towards me again, opening it's mouth, showing it's fangs.

It was coming for the kill this time. I closed my eyes. I stood no chance. Huh...scratch that, I couldn't even stand now.

''This is it...'' I said to myself and opened my eyes. If this thing was going to kill me, then I **will** look at it's face while it does. So that it won't forget me...and I won't forget it either.

''**SOUTEN NI ZASE, HYOURINMARU!**''

My eyes flew wide open when I saw the monster being sliced in half, ice soon encasing it. What surprised me as well was that I was watching this from above in midair. I was...levitating. I noticed a strong, tanned arm wrapped around my waist to support me, and turned to see a boy. His spikey, white hair and piercing teal eyes were certainly very eye-catching. I also saw that he was short, only an inch or so taller than me, I think, but that didn't say much, since I was very short myself. But no matter how attractive the mix of green and blue was in his irisis, or how his (I scowled) tanned skin complemented his eyes and hair, I didn't have time to be staring at a guy. Yes, he was very handsome to look at, but it didn't change the simple fact that he just slaughtered a monster, was levitating and wearing odd clothing.

Traditional black Japanese garmets, I remembered that they were called Shihakusho from history class. A white haori... there could've been something printed on his back, but I couldn't see. I also noticed the long katana in right hand - he was holding me with his left arm. The katana's hilt was light blue, and the guard had the odd shape of a four-pointed star. A long chain was attached to the bottom of it, with a sickle at the end of the chain. Though the katana was about as long as the boy himself.

''Daijobou ka? (are you alright)'' he asked me; I opened my mouth to answer, but immediately covered my mouth and coughed violently. I looked at the palm of my black gloved hand to see that I was coughing up blood. Must have been from the impact I got from that monster. As the adrenaline weared out in my body, I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay up much longer.

''Oi! Shikashiro! (hang in there)'' he said, panic slightly tainting in his voice. I looked at him in the eyes before I blacked out, dark amethyst locking with sharp turquoise.

''...Sman ne...(I'm sorry)'' That was the last thing I said before everything faded to black.

--

I heard muffled voices around me as I started to become aware of my surroundings. There seemed to be a discussion with a few people, and judging by the volumes of their voices they were sitting around me. I seemed to be the topic of conversation.

''This girl's reiatsu pattern is truly...strange,'' a woman said, her voice was kind and soft.

''It's like it's lock'd in, her reiryoku,'' I heard a man say, the habit of using that mocking tone was obvious.

''When she died, her reiastu released.'' I knew that voice...it was that boy. I had to train my ears a bit, but I could tell that he was sitting on my right side. ''So I went to the Gensei (real world) to investigate. I saw her being targeted by a Hollow.''

Reiatsu...? Reiryoku....? What...What the...

Didn't the scientist from Wahrheit constantly mention those?

Wait a minute...They said something about me being dead. They can see me even though I'm a 'ghost' or a 'spirit'. But now that I think about it, when I was surrounded by the 'living' people, they all gave out an impression that said: 'I am a living, breathing person with real blood and flesh'. Even though I could now still feel pain, fatigue, and all other kinds of living distresses, I could tell that I didn't have that impression in my presence. It was so clear that I could even feel it on myself, though I hadn't realized it until I died. Now the funny thing was that I couldn't sense that impression on these people either, in fact, I couldn't feel it anywhere. Which would theoretically mean that they're also 'ghosts'.

That would make perfect sense. Why that boy could see the monster, the 'Hollow', and why he could see me and why they could all see me.

This was getting easier to paste together somehow. So when they said 'Real World', then they mean the world of the living, right? So it's somewhat similar to the afterlife, I guess. But for people who should 'rest in peace', they were pretty active running around with swords after renegade monsters.

Were they interested in my being because of the idea that I'm the Philosopher's Stone?

''Her wounds weren't too severe, the recovery was luckily fast.'' The woman's words rang through my ears.

That's when I noticed that my wounds were completely healed, no soreness whatsoever. The shoulder was broken, it can't just go heal on it's own! Wait, wait...did she said 'kill'? But I'm...I'm already 'dead', aren't I?

''Have ya informed th' old soutaichou 'bout this, Hitsugaya-taichou?'' the man said, still with a mocking ring in his voice. But judging by the way he uses it, he seems to have that tone permanent in his vocals.

''The Taichou and Fukutaichou meeting will take place in an hour,'' the boy said. Captain Hitsugaya, so that was his name. 'Captain'... isn't he a bit young for that title? I could feel a pounding in my head; I shouldn't always assume things, guessing too much hurts...

A meeting about me? Just what is so interesting about my 'reiatsu'?

Maybe, just maybe... the experiments _weren't_ based on absurd thoughts of those scientists...?

I opened my eyes slowly, and groaned at the light in my eyes.

''You're awake?!'' I turned to my right side to see the one who saved me; Hitsugaya.

''Hn...'' I rubbed my temple in hopes of stilling the constant throbbing. ''You're the one who saved me...right?'' I asked, still weary. He have me a curt nod.

''Domo arigato,'' I said before closing my eyes as I sighed to let my lids rest for a few seconds. I turned to look at the woman. She was wearing a black kimono with a white hoari, black hair which was braided past her neck and kind eyes. I then turned to the man, he had short silver hair, his eyes were in slits, his smirk was crooked. It somewhat reminded me of a fox, his visage. He also wearing black with a white hoari.

''So th' sleepin' beauty finally decided ta grace us with 'er lovely eyes,'' he said, his smirk widen. I was intimidated, but I knew how to keep my emotions in check.

''How are you feeling?'' the woman asked, I smiled at her. ''I'm feeling fine.'' I sat up before looking around. I was in a Japanese styled room, in a bed and wearing a white kosode instead of the hospital dress.

''Yokkata.'' That was a very kind smile she had on her. I smiled at that.

''I thank you for your help...'' I started, hinting of wanting to know her name.

''My name is Unohana Retsu, a taichou.'' she answered, her smile never wavering. The captain term was a little odd, but I knew that I was going to need to get used to that.

''...Unohana-taichou,'' I finished, then looked around the room with a questioning glint in my eyes.

''You're in hospital,'' she said suddenly, to which I raised my eyebrows at.

''You're in Soul Society, something that you might be more familiar with under the term, 'afterlife'.'' I turned my head to face Hitsugaya, my eyes wide, showing my astonishment.

Hitsugaya then told me about the Soul Society. The Shinigami. The Hollows.

My head was tilted down, comphrehending all the information which it was receiving. _Shinigami..._Then...was this the truth afterall...?

''So the Hollow was after me because of this odd reiatsu pattern of mine?'' I asked, ''And it's so abnormal for a soul to have it that it's something to make a fuss about.'' I summed up the consequences for me and he nodded.

''Do you know anything about this?'' he asked, suspicious of my awfully calm attitude. I sighed, rubbing my forehead. Well, he did save my 'life', so I could at the very least do him this favor.

''I was once..._tested_ on,'' I said, the word 'torture' wouldn't sound really enjoyable. ''Though I never really paid attention, they did frequently mention those terms. Reiatsu, reiryoku...and Shinigami. They constantly referred me as a 'Philosopher's Stone'.'' When I mentioned 'shinigami', Hitsugaya and Unohana seemed somewhat alarmed, while the fox-face just kept grinning.

I struggled to keep my emotions in check. But I always had a sudden flash back

_My arm was strapped onto a device, my fingernail was attached to the puller. I struggled with all my might, and screamed when they punched down on the leaver and tore the nail off. It happened in a total of 10 times that day._

_Being tied onto a chair, I could only yell out in pain every time the red hot metal rod burned my skin._

_I saw a man and a woman being brutally killed, tortured to death, slowly and painfully. I was sitting behind a cage, and flinched in every time their blood spattered on my face. Tears flooded out of my eyes._

_In a room, I saw two rotting corpses. I screamed before hurling._

I took a few breaths to calm myself down. They weren't going to do that to me, right? No, surely, they won't...These captains were sane, I could see that. But my fear was still there.

''Higurashi-san?'' Hitsugaya asked, his eyebrows raised. Damn, my hand's trembling...!

I looked up at him and flashed him the most convincible fake smile I could muster, thinking of an excuse. ''I-''

I was cut-off by a man with a black and white face sliding the door open abruptly. He stared down at me with...a mad scientist's greed in those insane eyes.

No...no....no....You've...you've got to be kidding me...

''The Philosopher's Stone, eh?'' he asked before I widened my eyes. He must've been listening to what I said.

''Kurotsuchi?'' Hitsugaya asked, confused and I could sense distrust in his eyes. I flinched when I noticed his haori....He was a captain?!

Kurotsuchi ignored Hitsugaya and continued to stare at me with the same look in his eyes.

''Nothing like my previous test subjects before.'' I started shivering.

Wait, no, not again, not another one...!

''I wonder how she reacts to physical pain...and emotional stress...'' He then had an insane smirk as he took a step closer, sweat rolled down my forehead and temple, my eyes practically bulging out. My terrorfied trembling became more violent and they noticed my fear instantly. Hitsugaya glared at the Kurotsuchi.

''Stop playing your sick mind-games with the girl!''

''Kurotsuchi-taichou, please, she needs her rest,'' Unahona said, but both were ignored by the black and white faced freak.

''...**May I find that out?**''he asked, showing me his yellow teeth with that twisted angle in his smirk.

I screamed. I screamed in horror. I was so scared by this man because he reminded me of the scientists who experimented on me. But what scared me most was that this man looked much more capable to do something more sickening than they could. Without me realizing, I clung onto the fabric on Hitsugaya's chest, as if hanging on for dear life, tears flowing down my shut eyes.

The man with the silver hair, was smirking at the whole scenario.

Hitsugaya looked down at me in shock, seeing how terribly frightened I was. I didn't see him when he glared dangerously at Kurotsuchi, laying his hand on my back as if to calm me from his thundering voice.

''KUROTSUCHI! What the hell are you--'' he was cut off by the offending captain.

''The girl acts like a traumatized test-subject,'' he stated as an obvious fact. ''Allot worse than mine.'' He then looked at Hitstugaya after examining my shaking frame.

''Your point?! Don't traumatize her even more then, dammit!'' Hitsugaya yelled, and Unohana gave Kurotsuchi a disapproving frown while Ichimaru widened his smirk as he raised his brows.

''It's definitely not possible to be scarred to this extent over-night,'' he said, then turned to leave. ''Zannen da, I can't experiment on someone who is this paranoid.'' Faint disappointment was heard in his voice as he left.

I didn't pay any attention to the conversation, I was too busy whimpering and sobbing. I could feel the hand on my back rubbing it in gentle, circular movements. Though it was obvious that those movements were awkward and hesitent.

''Sman ne...'' As soon as I noticed what I was doing, I pulled back, and wiped my eyes furiously.

''Daijobou da.''

Before I could deny him saying that what I just did was not alright, the door bursted open again to reveal an extremely busted blonde who wasn't at the least modest about her generous cleavege.

''The meeting will start soon, taichou!'' she said, then looked at me and I blinked. ''She's awake!'' She raised eyebrows before looking at Hitsugaya. ''Have you hit on her again?'' she asked, her eyes wide with genuine curiousity. A pink shade tainted the captain's cheeks as he narrowed his eyes to glare at the woman, whereas I arched a brow in confusion. Was she talking about me?

''MATSUMOTO!''

...I think I missed something here...

--

''...It's certainly strange that she came here, being a Philosopher's Stone...'' I frowned in confusion at the elder's words. But eventhough I didn't understand what the soutaichou meant, I decided to just be quiet and listen. Hitsugaya explained what I had told him and what had happened. Though I started losing the thread when he started adding terms. Such as: 'She should be in England if she's a Philosopher's Stone'. I was standing next to him, behind us were all the Taichou and Fukutaichou, 24 in total were in the room. I remember the woman, Matsumoto, saying that one lieutenant was absent because she was on a mission. Her name was Hinamori, I think.

Hitsugaya gave a curt nod at Yamamoto's response, and the closed, yet focused eyes glanced at me, and I blinked to show my attention.

''Those humans who conducted these researches on you, how did they know about the Kenja no Ishi (Philosopher's Stone)? And us Shinigami?'' His voice was old, but still demanding.

''I'm afraid I do not have the answer to that question; I was a very young child when they started, so I never paid any heeds to such,'' I said, trying to stay calm, even though the pressure from these people were...unbelievable. ''The scientists were discarded as lunatics and I have never heard of them since.''

''Souka...(I see)'' he said, and seemed to use a moment to think before turning to the captain next to me, ''Hitsugaya-taichou.''

''Hai?'' Hitsugaya voice was alert and

''I will give the word to the research institute to find out what the cause for this incident is. From now on Higurashi-san will be under your care, Hitsugaya-taichou, as a well respected guest. Not your subordinate.'' Yamamoto said, making me blink. What? Guest? Subordinate? Under someone's care? Well, at least that term sounded familiar. The old man's voice was somewhat gentle as he spoke to Hitsugaya. ''But I'm sure that it won't be a problem,'' Yamamoto said, to which Hitsugaya nodded. Yamamoto then turned back to me. ''No need to be scared, child. Soul Society is now your new home.''

I widened my eyes at the word he used.

''Home...'' My voice wasn't even audible to myself as I whispered that word.

--

The office of the 10th division had four doors: One which lead to the captain's room, one for the vice-captain and one for a guest. The fourth door was for the hallway down to the seated shinigamis. They had given me the guest room, and I was sitting on my futon, still somewhat exhausted from all these...events. Matsumoto came into the room, smiling bubbly as she held up a black kimono.

''Lookie what I got for you, Miyuki-chan!'' she said before skipping over to me. I blinked at the black kimono which had white butterfly patterns on. I chuckled. Matsumoto said that she was going to get me a kimono instead of being in this kosode the whole time. According to her, I looked like a death-row inmate.

''Isn't it against dress code to have butterflies on the clothes?'' I asked, raising a brow at the woman. With her character, it wasn't at all hard to get close to her fast.

''Screw the dress code! It's black, isn't it? And you're not a Shinigami, so it's okay!'' she said before grabbing my pale wrist and pulling up to my feet. Without another word she opened the kimono and started slipping it over the kosode. I opened my mouth to protest.

''Matsumoto-san, I can do it myself!''

''And miss the opportunity to play dress-up? No way!''

I sighed as I let her fiddle around with the fabric, not wanting to fight this out...because in truth, I had no idea how to put these things on. It would be pretty embarrassing if I reject her help just for her to then find out that I would have no bloody clue what I'd be doing.

''I'm so glad that you're here, Miyuki-chan! You have no idea how boring Taichou can be! All he ever does is work, work, work, work, and then he makes me work, too!'' she said, almost whining. I chuckled at that; he _did_ look like the workaholic type. Though somehow she sounded like a kid who just said that her parents were evil for making her tidy up her room.

''Souka?'' I asked. But I blinked when I looked down to see that the kimono was very loosely fit around my chest, worn in a similar fashion as Matsumoto's shihakusho. I sighed before narrowing my eyes at the woman. ''Matsumoto-san, just put this thing on properly, will you?''

''But I want to see taichou's reaction!''

I narrowed my eyes at her.

''I don't care! You won't like my reaction, I can garantee that!!!''

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: And this is the first chapter for you! Phew, edited three times now... XD**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	2. Dying Changes Everything

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san!**

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**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.**

-x-X-x-

**Dying Changes Everything**

_**You can forgive a child for fearing the dark. The real tragedy is when a man fears the light.**_

-x-X-x-

It's been nearly two months now since Higurashi had been in Soul Society under the care of the 10th Division; in other words, my care. I found out that she could also be quite sarcastic and have quite an attitude. Quite amusing, actually. She'd be polite to everyone and then talk about how annoyed she was with them to me. I didn't expect that, considering that she was more quiet than anything else when she first arrived.

The two of us have become closer now; we would constantly mock and tease each other for fun. She was a very easy person to open up to, as I could show a humourous side when she was near, and she always knew when to drop the jokes when we're in a meeting, or in presents of others who I didn't particularly like. She soon was able to deduct that I had to work twice as hard as everyone else to gain respect as a captain because of my appearance. She could tell how I was feeling by just looking me into the eye, because she had a talent for reading people. And she was incredibly entertaining to converse with. Not meaning that she didn't have an obnoxious side - she could be quite shameless and cheeky, much to my chagrin.

But he could make me laugh because of her humour, something not many could achieve. The first time I laughed was when she was giving mental nicknames for all the captains the first day she was there. When I laughed, it was...a sensation I wasn't used to. I couldn't remember the last time I did it. I had no friends when I was a young child because of my appearance and attitude, except for Hinamori. The most I could offer was an amused or annoyed smirk and grin, but never a genuine _laugh _because I was amused. I never forced my smiles for anyone, but I didn't need to with her.

Now that I thought about it, Higurashi didn't address me with 'taichou' anymore when we're alone, just 'Hitsugaya'. I've grown so used to her being around I just gave up correcting her, but what I found strange was that I didn't mind her doing that, unlike with Matsumoto and Hinamori. I would never admit it, but I was grateful for her presence, and some part of me couldn't help but hope that she knew that.

Even though I had told her about my childhood, she never said a word about her own, I noticed. All she did was make me happy and she would never even spare a thought for herself.

_''It must've been hard on you at that time...But it's okay now! You're not alone anymore. You have experiences and memories to hold onto, and friends to support you. I also want to become one of those friends!''_

Many words she said I have burned into my memory. But it sadden me, that surely, she didn't have any such regard of my words, as I have never been able to say any comfort to her because she never opened herself to me.

--

I was sitting on my desk, doing my paperwork, _again_. Matsumoto left me with all the work, _again_. And I'm the forsaken one, _again_.

Higurashi was sitting on the couch. It was the order for me to take care of her, so she was more or less always with me. I didn't mind, in fact, it was quite the opposite. She was reading a book on 'kido'. She had a keen interest on reiryoku and reiatsu, so she would always read books on those subjects. She was flipping a page every few seconds because of her photographic memory, but seeing her reading so fast was honestly quite unnerving.

Yamamoto had been contacting all the other Commanders from the other dimensions- The Soul Society was originally founded in England, hence it's English term. The Seireitei is the Japanese branch of the Soul Society, each country has it's own. You only come here if you were born in Japan. And if you were born in England, you go to the Court of Pure Souls.

Each Soul Society resides in a separate dimension and specializes in different powers. In Japan it's the Zanpakto, in China it's elemental control, in America it's Sorcery and so forth. Even the order was different: other ranking systems and different parting of divisions.

Philosopher's Stones were _English_ Death Gods, 'Soul Reapers'. Higurashi should have either been sent to the England, or she should've come here without those inherritence. Though she said that she was definitely born on Japanese soil, it still didn't answer anything.

The Soul Reaper's definition of strength was quite different from ours; here, any soul can become a Shinigami. But in the English branch, only Philosopher's Stones could become Soul Reapers, because they were the only ones who had 'power'. That was the reason why the members of the Court of Pure Souls were considered so prestigue.

I could imagine that Yamamoto first contacted the English Soul Society before asking the other branches if they have ever had any experience with such an odd phenomenon. And I think he has found the person and was discussing this with him or her. Because recently, Yamamoto seemed a lot more relieved than he did a few days ago - comparable to a relief from work. But if he hasn't told us captains anything yet, so it was most likely an unstable situation.

I sighed heavily and didn't notice that Higurashi looked up at me.

''Hitsugaya,'' she said, jerking me from my thoughts. ''You've been starring at words for five hours straight now. You'll go blind if you keep that up.'' Though she was actually mocking me, I could hear the concern in her voice. She put down her book, turning to me before kneeling on the couch. Folding her arms on the sofa's stand, she rested her chin on it, her dark violet eyes gazing at me. I quirked a white brow as I faced her.

''Same goes for you.'' Smirking, I gestured to the book with my pen.

''True, but I'm not a Taichou who needs to keep my eye-sight while fighting against blood-lusting monsters.'' After that, she eyed the book she was reading, wrinkling her nose. ''And you would be out of your flaming mind if you think I would be reading something as mind-numbing as _that_.'' My smirk widened in amusement at her words.

''Mastumoto left to 'research a hot tip', and left me with this mountain of doom,'' I said, and she chuckled softly in response. I frowned after suppressing a faint blush as I went through the paperwork. I often found that my cheeks became warm every time she laughed. It annoyed me and I didn't like the warmth on my face, but that wasn't the reason why I was frowning - it was because I had only finished about a third of the paperwork.

Higurashi stood up, before walking over to me. ''Ano ne,'' she started, I looked up to show her that I heard her.

''How about I help you with that? I'm up to speed with all the news of the 10th Division and Soul Society- two months is long enough to have an idea what's the order around here, isn't it?'' I widen my eyes in surprise at her, and she continued as she crossed her arms, her expression unreadable. ''I have a photo-graphic memory, so I should be able to scan through the content and write down briefly what they're actually wanting you to do or confirm.'' She stood on the right side on the table and me, her head tilted on one side.

I was quite shocked, my mouth opening and closing, resembling a fish. Every time I had something to say, I would always shut my mouth against the idea of saying whatever I thought of.

''Well?'' she asked with a hopeful smile. I noticed what I was doing before I coughed to regain my composure and protect whatever damaged pride I had left. With closed eyes, I tried to look as dignified as I could when I turned to face the paperwork on the desk.

''If you want to, fine...'' She smiled before pulling Matsumoto's chair over - the desk chair that she barely ever used.

I was strangely happy that she wanted to help me.

She took a document before looking through it quickly. Slowly her fine, dark brows raised.

''What's this, a riddle-fare?'' she asked herself, then turned to me with an incredious expression. ''You read through things like these _everyday_?'' she asked, somewhat bewildered.

''Hn.'' I nodded, smirking slightly at her expression when she turned to face the paper, mumbling something about 'stupid riddles' and, 'stupid people who couldn't express themselves in a normal manner'.

''If it's too hard for you, tell me before your brain overloads,'' I said, teasing.

''No way in hell am I going to get beaten down by paper...even if does have very complicated stuff written on it...'' After gulping slightly, she focused on a paragraph. I mentally gave a fond scoff at her stubborness.

''I'm serious. You don't have to help me if you don't want to,'' I said, which made her turn to look at me again.

''You need this done, right? So I'll help you.'' As if it were obvious, she turned her head back to face to the dreaded, inked contents. ''I'm doing this for you because I want to,'' she mumbled to herself, not really paying attention to what she was saying. Nor did she see the surprised expression on my face.

We spent another four hours working; she would quickly look through the document and mark the areas which should interest me before giving it for me to solve. When I laid the last page on the pile of paper Higurashi flung herself against the chair, hanging the back of her neck over the chair head.

''Aaack,'' she groaned, ''We're done...!''

''...And I'm not sure how we did that,'' I said, still not believing that we did two thirds of the work, which would mathematically need ten hours in four. That was less than the half. I turned to her to see that she was still stretching luxiously in the chair. ''Crap, I can't feel my legs anymore.'' She scoffed after she said that. ''I still can't believe that you've been doing this every single dang day for centuries!''

''Thanks for the help'' I said sincerely, and she smiled at me.

''Anytime, Toshiro--I mean, Hitsugaya-_taichou_.'' She started waving me off animatedly, her face creased with comedical panic, her composure shattered. She has seen me getting angry when anyone called me by my given name, and just looking at her face, it was obvious that she didn't want to come face to face with my fits. I looked away as I stood up, sensing the nervous smile on her face.

''Hitsugaya-taichou...'' Her widen her eyes as she unconsciously moved back after I said that. ''...Ja ne,'' I said, she then had a dumbfounded expression as I looked at her over my shoulder. ''Toshiro da.'' I saw her amethyst eyes growing wide, her mouth agape, and I could have sworn that I saw her pale cheeks tainted in scarlet. Turning my head to look ahead, I too embarrassed to look her in the eye. (It's not Hitsugaya-taichou, it's Toshiro)

''Come on, Miyuki, we'll get something to eat.'' I tried to force that out as casually as I could before sliding the door open. She chuckled as she stood up, pacing to catch up to me. I gestured for her to go out first, which she did, and I shut the door behind us. I started walking down the hall with Miyuki alongside me, staring up at me with her dark eyes. I avoided them.

''Why are you avoiding my gaze, _Toshiro_?'' she asked, and I could hear the tease in the edge of her voice.

''I-I'm not avoiding your gaze.'' I still wasn't looking at her.

''Masaka (no way)...You're embarrassed?'' Her grin was so obvious that I could feel it boring the side of my head.

''Of course I'm not, baka!'' I replied, thanking whichever parent it was of mine who gave me tanned skin to mask my blush. I widened my eyes when I felt Miyuki holding my left arm with her right. I turned to her, completely flustered and bewildered.

''Wh-What are you doing, Miyuki?! Hanase! (let go)'' I demanded, embarrassed to no end; the only reply I received was her laughter, which only made me blush deeper, much to my annoyance and chagrin.

''Toshiro! I didn't know that you had a shy-side!'' she said, smiling happily, ''Kawaii!'' At this point my face was practically on fire. I wasn't used to women flirting with me like this.

''K-K-K-Kawaii? First you call me a Chibi, now I'm 'kawaii'???'' I asked, trying to muster a ridiculed voice.

''So desu te!'' she confirmed, using the dramatic form for the phrase, still teasing. She snuggled her face into my arm, and I was about to retort. The words instantly died in my throat when I looked at her. She was smiling, her eyes closed to support the smile as she blushed. Her bangs, which were parted at the side, bounced slightly at each step she took. But she soon released me before pacing up ahead of me, still trying to get used to her black kimono.

She looked over her shoulder at me ''Come on, Toshiro! You need your nutritions if you want to grow taller than an elementary student!'' With that, she single handedly made me trade my blush for a distinct pulsing in my head.

''WHAT WAS THAT?!'' I asked as I ran after her, so she picked up her speed. ''GET BACK HERE, MIYUKI--!''

I damn this girl for changing me so much within a few weeks. I would only over-react like this if she was the one who mocked me.

''YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO!'' she replied sarcastically. She then made a turn to the right hall, looking back to see if I was there. But I had used shunpo to dash past her, halting ahead of her. Still looking back, she didn't notice this and kept running until she ran into me. Being a lot stronger than her, I was barely effected while she nearly fell down. But before it got that far I grabbed her by the waist to stand her back up. I gave her my annoyed glare.

''You're shorter than me, baka,'' I said, to which she arched a brow at.

''But I'm not in denial, unlike you.'' A smirk crossed her lips.

''I'm not in denail.''

''Yes, you are.''

''No, I'm not.''

''Yes, you are.''

''No, I'm not.''

''Are so.''

''Am not.''

''Are so.''

''Am not.''

We blinked at each other, silent for a moment when we realized how childish our argument was.

''Well, aren't we having an intelligent conversation?'' she asked sarcastically, and I only smirked at her.

''Oh my God, Taichou! You're hitting on Miyuki-chan again!'' Both Miyuki and I looked up with big eyes to see my lieutenant down the other side of the hall, pointing at my arm which was resting on Miyuki's back. I forgot to let her go in our argument. My bottled up frustration towards her because of the paperwork was released by that comment and grin of hers.

''MATSUMOTO!''

--

''You wanted to talk to me, Unohana-taichou?'' Miyuki asked as she sat down on the tatami floor in front of the medic taichou. I bowed my head slightly as a greeting and she returned the gesture. Unahona then turned to Miyuki after I sat down next to the black-haired girl.

''Yes, there's something I wanted to asked you,'' she said, ''As you know, after you die and come to Soul Society, you're supposed to lose all your memories and start anew.'' She poured us a cup of tea each on the table as she spoke. Miyuki nodded. ''But that's not the case with you, which means there's a possibility that it could also be the same with your phisical state. The organic problem which originally killed you is now non-existent, but it would interest me if you have any other wounds or scars which you've received from the time you were alive and haven't disappeared.'' Miyuki's eyes widened at Unohana's words, but she forced down expression as smiled. I frowned. It was a fake smile.

''Sumi masen,'' she said, her smile growing apologetic. ''I'm afraid that I don't.'' I eyed her, not at all convinced by her words.

''Are you sure, Miyuki?'' Suspicion was obvious in my voice as I narrowed my eyes at her.

''Yes...'' She looked away when she answered that. I could feel anger and frustration rising in me. I told her my sadness and sorrows, why couldn't she trust me with hers?!

''I don't believe you,'' I said in a harsh tone, yet she still didn't look at me.

''I'm sorry if you're unhappy with the answer, but it's the truth.''

''Why is it that you won't tell me anything about you?! The day you awoke and got intimidated by Kurotsuchi, you panicked and had a nervous breakdown! Yet you just put a smile on your face and and tell everyone you're okay when obviously you're not!'' I yelled, Unahona covered her mouth is surprise by my reaction, but I didn't care. ''Tell me, dammit! You said for me to trust you, then you should also trust me!'' I could feel anger building up as I saw that Miyuki still didn't show any signs of intending to tell me anything.

''There's nothing-'' I cut her off.

''YOU'RE LYING!'' I yelled, cutting off her feeble voice as I bashed my fist against the table, upsetting the teacups, and causing the hot tea water to splash on her gloved hands. She winced in great pain - I instantly regretted what I did, but it was then when I realized that she was wincing allot louder than a normal person should. And then the fact that she always wore gloves, always. Whether she was sleeping or reading, she had her gloves on at all times and under any circumstance. I could see the pained expression on her face and tears forming in the corner of her eyes before she looked down at the floor.

''I'm sorry for upsetting you, Hitsugaya-taichou, please excuse me,'' she said with shaking voice before standing up and running out of the room.

''Miyuki!'' I called, but she shut the door behind her and I saw her silhouette running away from the paper-framed door.

--

I opened the door to Miyuki's room and saw her sitting in an an empty corner, furthest away from the door. It was dim, but I could still clearly see Miyuki's shaking form, holding her hands to her chest, pulling her legs close to her, whimpering and sobbing. I quietly walked over to her. She looked up at me, shocked. She didn't seem to notice me until I was hovering over her, she tried to move away, but I held on her shoulders to keep her in place. She stared up at me with tears in her eyes, then looked away. I was kneeling in front of her, and released her shoulders to pull her hands out of her chest. The back of my hands brushed her breasts slightly, but neither of us were in the mood to really care about that. I took her right hand, and started to gently pull the black glove off. She shot her eyes up at me, opening her mouth, as if to protest.

''Please,'' I said before she could. After swallowing, she closed her mouth, as if she had decided to stay silent, a frown creasing her brows as she watched me sliding the fabric off her pale skin. I widened my eyes in horror at what I saw. She had her fingernails ripped off, all five. The pink, tender flesh that should have been shielded by nails where almost visibly throbbing, and I knew that it was from the hot tea.

''Ma...saka...'' I muttered as I took her other glove off too, and saw that it was in the same condition. I raised my eyes up from her hands to look at her; she was trembling, biting her lip to stop herself from sobbing. I knew that what she went through must've been terrible, considering what Kurotsuchi said, but I had no idea that it went to this extent. I knew that having the fingernails ripped out was as painful as having a leg cut off, because the nerves are a lot more sensitive there. But her nails weren't ripped out, I had just noticed to my horror...that they were completely torn out - the base was gone. It was obvious to see from the tips of her fingers. This meant that her nails would never grow back. Just how painful must've that been...?

''Miyuki...'' My voice trailed off. She then crashed into my arms and clenched the fabric on my chest like she did two months ago - the day she woke up. She cried again, sobbing, clutching on to me. I didn't know what to so in a situation like this because I was so shocked to do anything. After a few seconds of hearing her sobs and whimpers I slowly and hesitantly wrapped my arms around her.

After a while, she calmed down, her breaths started to lose it's hasty gasping.

''Toshiro...?'' I jumped a bit at her voice, not knowing what to do now.

''Y-Yeah?'' I asked, loosening my arms around her to let her go, but she wrapped her arms around my waist, telling me that she wanted me to keep my arms around her. I blushed slightly as I did so.

''Can I...tell you about myself...?'' she asked, unsure. ''Is it...really okay for me to tell?''

''I want to know, Miyuki,'' I said, and leaned my chin on her shoulder, ''I really want to know.''

I could hear her taking a deep breath.

''When I was five, I was kidnapped by a group of _scientist_ who called themselves the 'Wahrheit'.

They claimed for me to be the Stein des Weisen, the Kenja no Ishi and tested my 'physical and mental stability','' she started, ''But what they actually meant was 'torture'.''

''Physical durabiliy came as how I reacted to strains on my body. They stabbed me with red hot iron to see how I withstood heat, beat me to see how I withstood pain, cutted me to see how long I could stay contious with losing blood They tested how long I could go without food and without water. They threw me into ice to see how long it took before I would freeze to death. They burned me with acid and poisened me with toxins. They ripped my fingernails off to test if i could regrow body parts and the bastards didn't even bother to knock me out whilest they did it...finally they opened my stomach to play around with my organs. Those sadists even put me on a drug which kept me painfully awake during the whole thing.'' she told, she was shaking slightly. I was shocked, my eyes wide, but pushed down my thoughts to listen to her intently.

''Mental stability was to see if I could become mentally unstable...'' she said, ''Making children insane, resulting them trying to kill each other, me being forced to end it...

But because I never became insane, they wanted to push it further...'' she started and she clenched the fabric on my chest tighter.

''...7 hours, 46 minutes and 23 seconds.''

I frowned my brows in confusion at that.

''That was how long it took them to slowly torture my parents to death while I was watching,'' she said, my eyes widen in horror. I heard her scoffing in irony.

''Damn my photographic memory...'' she cursed, ''And as if that wasn't enough...I was thrown into the room with their rotting corpses and locked in, watching them decay for three days.''

Oh my God...

''I endured all those for five years...five goddamn years...!!!'' she said shakily ''Damn my memory, damn my inability to become psychotic! If I could then...a-at least I wouldn't have been so aware of..._everything_!''

''Miyuki...'' My voice trailed again as I held her tighter, not knowing what else to say. I inwardly cursed myself. Because I was selfish and only wanted to know more about her, I completely disregarded to think about her feelings. Instead, I kept pushing her.

''I know that it was hard, but I'm glad that you told me this,'' I said, comforting her. ''And...I'm sorry...'' I could only hear her muffled sobs.

''Don't worry, you're safe now.'' I swallowed a lump in my throat. ''Nothing like that will ever happen to you again, I promise.

I will protect you.''

''Toshiro...'' she whispered my name before I heard her breathing evening out. She had fallen asleep. That didn't surprise me; the pain from her hands and crying so much must've been tiring for her...as well at the stress from telling me what happened when she was a child. I carried her to the office to lay her on the couch; I still needed to bandage her hands for the burn and I needed light to see what I was doing. I went over to a shelf to ake some bandages out. When I did, I walked back to her and kneeled down so that her hands were more accessible. I bandaged her hands with utmost care, savoring each sensation I felt when I brushed her abnormally pale skin with my fingers.

I looked at my own tanned hand over her nearly white one. The difference was so striking yet...the colours blended nicely together.

I looked at her sleeping face after I was finished. She looked so exhausted, but also relieved. Her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were red, her bangs sticking onto her face because of her tears. I used my hand to wipe them from her face.

I stood up and noticed the book Miyuki was reading yesterday on kido was lying on the table. I picked up the book, having the intention on putting back on the shelf, but raised my eyebrows when I saw that there was a sketch-book under it. It was Miyuki's, I remembered her telling me that she enjoyed drawing and she pestered me non-stop to buy it. I opened book, curious on what she's drawn. I widened my eyes at the pages. They were very real-life portraits. But what surprised me by far the most was that they were all sketches of _me_.

When I was looking into the distance.

When I frowned.

When I looked annoyed.

When I smirked.

When I looked pissed off.

When I looked like I would rip someone's head off.

When I looked puzzled.

When I looked surprised or shocked.

She also had a drawing of me smiling and laughing - I realized that she gave the most effort into this one.

I looked at Miyuki in shock, who was slumbering peacefully. She was sketching me?

After I put Miyuki into her bed, I went to my room, her sketch-pad in my hand. I changed into a lighter kosode and laid the pad in my draw, under my black garments. For some reason I had the strong desire to keep it. Besides, I can buy her a new pad tomorrow.

I felt blood coming up to my cheeks again.

I guess it wasn't so bad to have a warm face after all.

--

''AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!''

I snapped my eyes open and rushed out to the office, where I heard Miyuki's scream coming from. It was early in the morning, and Matsumoto slumped out of her door to see what was going on. My expression was perplexed as I looked at the scene: Miyuki was fanatically looking around the whole office, as if she was searching for something.

''Where is it? Where is it?! WHERE IS IT?!'' she chanted as she kept on her routine, a look of panic on her face. ''I KNOW that I put here SOMEWHERE!''

''Miyuki?'' I asked, she perked her head up, then rushed up before halting in front of me.

''Do you know where my stetch-book is???'' She asked, making me arch my brow at her; she seemed pretty energetic despite what happened last night. I smirked inwardly; may as well have some fun out of this.

''No,'' I answered, ''Do you want me to help you find it?'' She widened her eyes at me before shaking her head violently and animatedly.

''Nonononononononononono! I'll look for it! Don't you make a move to look for it! If you see it, don't you dare open it!'' I raised my eyebrows over my half-open, tired eyes at her over-reacted demand.

''Why? Did you draw some nasty pictures with me nude?'' I asked, smirking as I crossed my arms. Her mouth was agape, her eyes were wide, and her face as red as a tomato.

''N-NO!!!'' Her voice was stuttering in embarrassment, but she then widened her eyes, seemingly in realization. ''WHERE DID YOU PUT MY SKETCH-BOOK?!'' she asked, red with both embarrassment and anger as she glared at me.

''What ever are you talking about?'' I asked in painfully obvious ignorance.

''YOU know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! You looked at my sketches!'' She accused frustratedly. I arched a brow at her, still smirking.

''So I was right that you were drawing pictures of me nude?'' I teased, winding her up always made my day - seeing her angry was an entertainment maybe worth doing a few hours of extra paper work for.

''ARHG! QUIT IT!!! You know what I mean! Just give it back!!!'' She demanded, still red as cherry.

''Sorry, but I'm innocent,'' I said in the most unconvincing voice I could muster, smirking all the while.

''HITSUGAYA TOSHIROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!''

The greatest relief for me that day was that Matsumoto fell asleep on the floor before I had started.

--

''Review this story please!'' Miyuki said, ''Me love you long time~!''

''The author is using us to tell you to review, so you better review,'' Hitsugaya threatened.

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: And there we have it. XD I know this chapter was a bit too iffy and too fuffy, but it won't happen again...

Certain scenes where inspired by The Riddles of Water by Arelissa.

I know that I didn't edit much, but what the hell!!!

~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!

.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.


	3. Daisies Through a Kaleidoscope

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! Thank you so much for all your reviews!! It really encouraged me to type this up so soon!**

**This is a completely new chappi from the old version, so old readers, this should be a change for you, ne? ^^**

_**The Infamous Salem-chan, queenofspades19, SweetNightmaresGoodBye, TheScarletWolf, waterlily777, narukaze, HistugayaDream, Soulless Ghosty, steel-alchemist, AngelTenshi-chan(ARMONY!), rockbellrocksroll, NeverEndingDreamEnds, Rose of the Full Moon, IkuXYori and KurokamiHaruhi**_

_**DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMAS!!!! DAISUKIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!!! **_

_**--------**_

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING, GODDAMMIT, EXCEPT FOR THE FAN-IDEA OF THIS FANFIC, AND THE OC**

**VERY IMPORTANT INFO!!!!!! READERS WHO ARE VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT JAPANESE SPELLING, MUST READ!!!!**

**I am a local Japanese who so I don't know how to 'spell' Japanese with alphabets. I donnot use the rules by the Romanji terms, I write down how the character pronounce the words, not how they spell it.  
e.g. Suman nai-(I'm sorry,etc) will become 'sman ne', because that it how they PRONOUNCE it. I'm sorry if this causes any difficulties for anyone. If someone has any questions as how the term would be spelled by the book, send me a pm and I'd gladly sort things out for you**

6969696969696969696969696969696969696

_-xXx-_

_**Chapter Three- Daisies Through a Kaleidoscope**_

**It's always the smallest Things which causes the greatest Disasters.**

_-xXx-_

_''Kaa-saaaan~!! (mom)'' I yelled as I ran towards a beautiful woman with black hair. She turned to face me with a kind smile and eyes on her snow white face, showing her amazing, dark blue eyes. I was a young child at the time. My in the middle splitted bangs were long and reached below my chest, and my hair just the nape of my neck._

_''Doushdano (what is it), Sweetheart?'' she asked as I came running to her. 'Sweetheart' was a petname for me which she always said in English. She was hanging the white sheets in the garden._

_I loved my mothers voice. It was soft, kind, and so gentle...It was enough to be a lullaby..._

_I smiled brightly and held out a chain of wild daisies. I had to stand on my tip-toes and stretch so that she could have a clear view of what it was. It wasn't very neatly made, in fact, it was quite messy. There were bits and pieces hanging off, some blossoms were damaged because I wasn't careful and the knots were either overdone or too weak. Okay, okay, it wasn't a bit messy, it was so tangled and distorted that you wouldn't know what it was._

_''Presento! (the jap. term for present)'' I said ''I made it from the flowers in the garden!''. She soften her eyes as she kneeled down to my eye-level to look at me endearingly. When she took it in her hands I frowned slightly._

_''Gomen ne (i'm sorry), ka-chan, it didn't come out so nice...'' I trailed disappointed. She patted my head softly and lovingly._

_''I think it came out just fine'' she said ''No one can do something perfectly after just one try''. I looked up at my mother's face. She closed her eyes to support her smile ''If you do more for me, I'm sure you'll be able to make a perfect one soon!'' she encouraged._

_''Really?'' I asked, unconvinced. She smiled and stroked my head._

_''Of course! If it's you, I'm sure you can do it!'' after those words left her lips I smiled brightly._

_''Okay!! I'll go make some more for you!!'' I announced and ran past her back to the patch of wild flowers in the front garden on the other side of our house. _

_''Don't go out of the gate, Miyuki, stay in the garden'' she ordered ''You have to be careful'' she said with that motherly tone of hers. I rolled my eyes. _

_What is there to be careful about?_

_The wild daisies in our garden were very small and fragile, I noticed. But then I remembered that the park right next to our house also had wild daisies- which were a lot stronger and the blossoms were bigger and prettier. Mother's words flashed through my head._

_'Don't go out the gate, Miyuki, stay in the garden.'_

_I wrinkled my nose and stood up before I ran over to a corner of the house to peek at my mother. She was humming a melody to herself, completely unaware of my stares. I then turned around and ran out the gate, past the road and to the park._

_She won't notice, I'll be real quick! Just pick the flowers, then come back!_

_After a few minutes of searching, I found the daisies I was looking for. I smiled brightly at my success of my found and hurried towards it. I picked out one, two, three, four, five...ten, eleven, twelve...fifteen! I looked at my collection with a satisfied grin. This should do the trick!_

_''Hehehe...hehe...'' I giggled when I skipped towards the entrance to the park._

_''Miyuki-chan?''_

_I widen my eyes and turned to a man's voice who called my name. I looked at him, he was tall and had a very gentle voice. But he was under a tree so I couldn't see his face because of the shadow, but I could see the shine of glasses from his eyes._

_''Why don't you come here, Miyuki-chan?'' he asked. I blinked and frowned._

_''Ka-san told me not to follow strangers'' I said innocently._

_''Do you always listen to your Oka-sama? (politer term for mother)'' he asked ''Like when she told you not to leave the house?''. I widen my eyes in surprise as I stared at the man in awe. I turned to completely face him and smiled. His voice held no menace so I wasn't scared at all. Not at all... because his voice reminded me of mother's._

_''Sugoi! (Awesome)'' I exclaimed. ''How did you know that? Are you a magician??'' I asked with excitement. I heard him chuckle._

_''Maybe'' he answered. ''Are you going to make a necklass for your Oka-sama with those flowers?'' he asked. I nodded before I bent down to rub my nose in the blossoms. They smelt so nice!_

_''They're very beautiful. Would you come over here and show me?'' he asked. I smiled and ran over to him._

_''They're beautiful? You really think so? I wanted to make a better one because these were-'' I explanation was cut off when my words died in my throat. I was standing in front of the man, but my eyes didn't have time to adjust to the change of light, so I still couldn't see anything but the shine of his glasses on his face. But that wasn't a reason to be surprised and slightly intimidated._

_But if a group of men in white overcoats surround you out of nowhere, that's a reason to be intimidated, isn't it?_

_''Na-Nani?? (what)'' I asked, looking around as they formed a circle around me. I was scared, I wanted to go home, I wished I didn't run away to come to the park..._

_I want Ka-san and Tou-san!!_

_''MIYUKI!!''_

_I widen my tear-filled eyes at snapped my head to face where I heard the voice coming from. In the slit between two of these men I saw two familiar figures running towards me. I made a move to run towards them, one hand reached out, one still holding the daisies._

_''KA-SAN! TOU-SAN! (father)'' I called, but I was held back by one of the men. I squirmed as hard as I could, the daisies shattered on the ground during the struggle. But he only held on tighter._

_''My baby!!'' I heard my mother yell with a shaking voice._

_''YOU BASTARDS!!!'' Father roared and dashed towards us._

_''Finish them'' I heard the man with the gentle voice said. The kindness in his tone unchanged, but my eyes were too busy starring at my parent's every movement to turn to look at his face._

_''Hai''_

_One of the men took a small, black box out of his pocket. He pushed a button on it, and light blue sparks were charged. Just before father was about to punch the one holding me, the other swiftly jabbed him with the sparked side of the box. Father's body trembled greatly as he let out a yell of agony. Tears were flowing down my eyes. I didn't know what was going on, but father was in pain, I don't need to know more than that to know that I should be very scared._

_''TOU-SAAAAN!!!!!!!'' I called before he slumped to the ground, motionless._

_''KAZUMA!!'' I heard mother yell. I stared at my father with wide, disbelieving eyes. His dark, reddish-brown orbs were half-lidded and dull. His shoulder length, jet-black hair, which was pulled into a pony-tail at the nape of his neck, was strayed. He just laid there. Motionless._

_Why...why is Tou-san like this...? _

_Why is he like this...?_

_I don't like this...I don't like this...!_

_I snapped my eyes from my father's form to my mother when I heard her scream. She was also jabbed by that black box and soon fell motionless on the ground._

_''Ka-chan...!'' I gasped, sobbing. I was scared. I was very scared._

_''KAAAA-SAAN!!! TOOUU-SAAN!!!'' I yelled, but no motion from either of them._

_The next thing I knew someone put a white cloth over my nose and mouth. I widen my eyes at their actions. But my eyes soon grew tired._

_Hen no...Kaori...(weird..smell)_

_After that everything went black._

_So...I guess this is the thing mother told me to be careful about...but..._

_It was just to pick some prettier daisies to make a better flower chain for mother._

**-------------------------**

I gasped when I sat right up.

Was I dreaming again?

I looked around me. I was in my room of the 10th Division. The half moon shone dimly through the window in the dark scenery. I sighed.

At least it wasn't one of those nightmares...

I shook my head when a scene of a flashback during an experiment went through my head. I don't need to see it now. In fact, I don't need to see it ever!

I don't know what I hated more from that time on. Myself for not listening to mother, or daisies. I scoffed at my own childishness, it was myself and myself alone to blame. I have no intentions of shoving those faults to type of flower.

But it still didn't change the fact that I'm intimidated my daisies now. Daisies! For the love of...

I rubbed my temple and stood up, I need to get some fresh air. Maybe I can distract myself with something random then. I walked through my door and even though everything was dim, I could still see my surroundings good enough to walk around them.

Speaking about distracted...I've been distracted my that white-haired Taichou lately. I could actually take my mind off depressing subjects when I let my thoughts wonder around him. I smiled slightly at that. He's quite the captivating type, isn't he?

Generally mature and serious and he's easily annoyed by people goofing off. He hates anything that he deems childish and hates to be described as something close to a child as well as having a cold attitude and works hard.

...and is down-right gorgeous. I chuckled out quietly as I noticed my face warming.

But beneath all that he's a brat. Likes to poke fun at things, teasing, mocking, you name it. The reason why he acts so mature is because he wants the respect for the title he worked very hard for.

After looking at Toshiro's desk, I remembered some of the moments I've shared with him.

_''Hitsugaya, you don't need to start paperwork in six in the morning! What on earth are you always rushing your work for?!'' I asked as I wobbled over to the couch. I was so tired I felt like I would slump over, face-first on the floor if I wasn't careful. He kept his eyes fixed on his paperwork, only leaving enough focus for one retort:_

_''Urusei (zip it)'' _

_My eyes twitched in annoyance before I fell on the couch._

_''Seriously, what's the hurry? You don't have to give those in until tomorrow!'' I reasoned, completely ignoring his retort._

_''You talk too much'' he said simply._

_''I'm proud of my ability of making conversations, unlike a certain someone I know'' I answered._

_''You hope you're not implying me'' he answered with irritation in his voice._

_''I'd change my statement if I knew what the motivation is'' I told._

_''...nap...''_

_I snapped my eyes open, sat up and looked at him ridiculously. He was looking down, facing his paperwork, but I could see the blush of embarrassment of his tanned visage._

_''Nani?!'' I asked._

_''...I wanna finish...so that I can have my nap...'' He said in a barely audible whisper. We just stayed in silence for a while until I bursted out laughing. He glared at me with a vein sign popping on his head._

_''DAMARE!!! (shut up)'' he yelled, but I just tried to keep myself from rolling down the floor._

_''Gomen! *gasp* It's just that *gasp* I wasn't *gasp* expecting that!'' I explained, wiping the tears of laughter from the corner of my eyes. But when I looked at him again with his pissed off expression I just bursted out a second time. ''AND IT'S SO FUNNY!!'' I added_

_''OI!! HIGURASHI!!'' he yelled, more vein signs now pulsing. After a few seconds of laughing like an idiot and calmed down, and turned to him._

_''There's nothing wrong with that desire, I was laughing because it was unexpected'' I explained with the most serious expression and voice to muster, though it was obvious that I was trying my best not to laugh out loud. His narrowed eyes never wavered at me, in fact I think he just narrowed them further. But I was so busy keeping a straight face that I didn't pay enough attention._

_''Ou, Sou da (oh, really)'' he muttered sarcastically._

_'' 'A child who sleeps, grows' '' I dictated one of the phrases that Hitsugaya believed in. ''I hope that you grow up to be taller than a shougakusei (elementary student) soon, Hi-chibi-chan!'' I said, his eyes widen and more vein signs appearing when he narrowed them again._

_''WILL YOU QUIT IT WITH THE SHOGAKUSEI?! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING CHIBI-CHAN?!?!''_

I grinned at that memory. Childish and sensitive to the very end. I quietly slid the office door open and went down the hall to go outside. When I came to a fork of three paths I took the left one, but I halted to look back at the path I was on a few moments ago.

_I wrapped a string around a spinning top I had received as a present from Ukitake-taichou. A very nice man, similar to Aizen, but I preferred Ukitake over Aizen for some reason..._

_...must be the white hair, I thought. Oh, and maybe the for simple fact that he looks a bit too similar to my kidnapper that I liked._

_I was standing in the hallway outside the office which lead outside. Normally no one's here because only the taichou and fukutaichou use this path, so I wouldn't be in people's way with this little game._

_''Ikeee!!! (gooo)'' I said to myself enthusiastically and pulled the sting by swinging my arm from one side to another. The white fabric unraveled and caused the spinning top to spin in mid air before it fell to the ground. After a few seconds of spinning...well, wobbling, it fell over. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance._

_''Ack...'' I muttered. ''Well that turned out as well as could be expected, eh?'' I asked myself._

_''You're completely hopeless''_

_I jumped at that voice, but it was obvious who it was. I sighed._

_''Histugaya, you know it's not a good habit to sneak up on people'' I said as I picked my spinning top up._

_''Urusei'' he retorted. But I could feel his mocking smirk on my back. ''But you gotta admit that you suck at it''. I peeked over to him with narrowed eyes._

_''So? You're point?'' I asked suspiciously. He raised his eye-brows._

_''I'm surprised that you couldn't even make something decent out of such a painfully simple game'' he said flatly. I could feel a vein-sign pulsing and see his smirk widening._

_''Okay, then! Smarty-panto-san! (mr. smartypants)'' I said as I threw the spinning top to him which he easily caught with one hand, and used the same hand to grab the string. ''If it's really such a simple game, then show me your supreme power!'' I dared. He shrugged and swiftly wrapped the string around the spinning top._

_''Fine'' he said simply. I widen my eyes when he skillfully pulled the string and the spinning top did a few saltos and back flips, still spinning, in mid-air before it landed on the ground perfectly. It made a couple of rounds in circles and I was at a loss for words._

_''Finally admit that you're talentless, Higurashi?'' he asked, I glared at him._

_''Absolutly no way in hell was this your first time'' I stated as a fact. He gave the string back to me._

_''Tried it a long time ago'' He answered and walked passed me with his hands in sleeves. I picked the still spinning and let out an audible grunt._

_''Sore loser'' I heard him say and turned around to face him, his smirk plastered on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him and walked towards the taichou. When I had caughz up he started walking as well, so we were walking side-by-side down the hall._

_''You tried it a long time ago? Before or after you became a Shinigami?'' I asked._

_''Omai wa kakenei yo (it's none of your business)'' he answered, I sighed and mentally smacked my head. _

_''Okay, Hitsugaya. This is how it's gonna work: I'll be pestering you to tell you that you can trust me with your personal life or past or whatever. That will take about...five to ten minutes. Then you'll be completely deflective until you realise that I'm right. That will take about 15 minutes. So do us both the favor by just skipping the whole act and just tell me already'' I said in an annoyed tone. He turned to me and gave me an irritated glare._

_''Who the heck do you think you are?!'' he asked, I looked at him with bored, half-lidded eyes and high brows._

_''Someone's who's not gonna leave you in peace until she hears what she wants'' I answered simply. ''You always give in anyway, Hitsugaya.''. He opened his mouth to retort, but closed it again before letting out a long sigh._

_''You're so annoying'' he said as he looked ahead again. ''It was before I went into the Shinigami-acadamy'' he answered._

_''Where did you live at that time?'' I asked, he turned to me again with an irritated look._

_''Higurashi-'' _

_''The 25 minutes, Hitsugaya, 25 minutes.'' I reminded. He growled in annoyance before looking ahead again._

_''Province of Jurin'an, 1st District West Rukongai.'' he muttered. I smiled._

_''So you started with your spinning-top career there, huh?'' I asked. ''Did you participate in any tournaments?''. He looked at me weirdly._

_''Who in their right mind would have a tournament for freakin' tops?!'' he asked, I sweat dropped as I laughed nervously. Guess he doesn't know about ShwayBlades(*)..._

_''So I take it that you did have a title?'' I asked, trying to avoid that awkward topic._

_''The kids had little competitions here and there locally, and I won the most of them like the last match before leaving so I'm the undefeated champion'' he told, though he was trying to push it down, I could hear some pride in the last part. He really enjoyed playing the game, didn't he?_

_''You must have had quite a few friends when you were younger, huh?'' I asked. He frowned his brows slightly._

_''No, I didn't'' he answered simply. I raised my brows ''Everyone in the district were afraid of me, the only exceptions were Granny and Hinamori'' I inwardly smiled that he was now starting to open up without any protests and was surprised that he used the term 'granny' instead of grandmother, or something like that. I peeked over to him to see that he had a slightly down-casted look._

_''It must've been hard on you at that time...But it's okay now!'' I told, I could see him snap his head up slightly from the corner of my eye. ''You're not alone anymore. You have experiences and memories to hold onto and friends to support you.'' I turned to face him with a smile ''I also want to become one of those friends!'' I said. He looked at me with wide eyes and I grinned before I patted his white, spiky-haired head. I ran my hand through his white mane when I ruffled his hair._

_''Good boy, Hitsugaya, you finally learned how to tell things about yourself'' I praised somewhat close to a dog. I could see the vein-signs popping on his head and could feel them pulsing beneath my hand. He tilted his head down slightly and had his eyes closed when he was trembling with leashed extreme irritation. Before he exploded I pulled my hand back and gave held out the spinning-top to him._

_''Kore yo (here)'' I said, and he looked at me and the object in my hand with wide eyes. ''You can do something with it, right, Undefeated champion-san?'' I asked with a smirk._

Ah, yes, the spinning top. I shoved them in his hands so he had no choice but to take it. He went on and on and on that it's too childish for him, but it was obvious that he wanted to keep it.

Because he held the top with both hands the whole time.

After that memory which flashed by for a split second, I turned and continued walking down the path outside. Nothing like a visit down memory lane, is there?

It must've been midnight or the very beginning of the morning, no one was around except for a few guards. They bowed their heads to greet me silently and I returned the gesture as I walked past them before I had arrived in the 10th Division gardens. I sighed in annoyance.

Great, it just had to be a garden, didn't it? Now all I need are freakin' daisies!!

The fact that I was here was actually my fault that I actually brought myself here didn't bother me in the slightest. I walked towards the trees, I always went there to think for myself when I was alone...

Alone...

I widen my eyes when I saw a few white spikes from behind the tree I always sit under. That hair...

My feet made their way around the tree and I raised my eyebrows at the person sitting in my usual spot.

''...Toshiro!'' I exclaimed, he looked up at me with wide eyes.

''Miyuki, what are you doing up so late?'' he asked, I scratched my head and laughed nervously.

''Sleeping doesn't like me tonight, so I decided to get out a bit'' I answered, ''What brings you here?''

''Couldn't sleep either'' he answered and leaned his back against the tree again and looked ahead. I sat next to him with half a meter distance between us before making a comment.

''That's no good, Toshiro, you need your sleep so that you can grow'',

''Urusei'' he retorted.

''You do realise that telling me to shut up is just gonna make me talk even more,'' I said as if it were most obvious thing in the world. He sighed heavily when looked up at the half moon.

''You're annoying'' he commented.

''I know'' I said, grinning from ear to ear. I blinked when I dropped my smile because I just remembered something. I narrowed my eyes at him.

''Speaking about annoying, where is my stetch book?!'' I asked, I had to suppress my irritated grunt when I saw that smirk of his plastered on that goddamn sexy face. Bye bye Mr. Uptight and Serious, helloooo mocking, stubborn, little brat.

''I really don't know why you're always saying that I stole it'' he said. It was dripping with so much fake ignorance that I could grasp it!

''I'm saying that you stole it because you stole it! You pad-knapped my stetches!'' I accused. He turned his head to face me, his smirk still on his lips.

''Why are you so sure?'' he asked, my eyes widen and my face went red.

Dammit, he got me there. I groaned and ran a hand through my bangs before I leaned my back against the tree and looked ahead with a grumpy look as I crossed my arms. I could hear his amused scoff.

''ANYWAY, I'd like to hear about your childhood a bit more'' I said, trying to change the subject. I could feel his eye-brows raising at me.

''My childhood? You already wringed out everything like a sponge.'' he said.

''Not true. Like...when did you decide to become a Shinigami? You told me were weren't too keen on the idea of becoming one when Hinamori-san left for the academy, even though you were having dreams about Hyourinmaru. What changed your mind?'' I asked, he sighed.

''Long story'' he answered.

''Got time'' I answered back. He looked back up to the moon, as if to wonder where to start. I mentally sighed in relief when he didn't become all closed-off and stubborn.

Maybe it was a good thing that I told him about the whole 'Subject 00' incident. It really made me feel...lighter, somehow. Because I've always bottled up all those emotions, I kept thinking about those nights of terror for the majority of the time, always seeing it as a horrible, sickening punishment for my ignorance. Now that I let the cap come off, it's different. I would still think about all those events from time to time, but I would only see it as a memory. A terrible memory, but nothing else.

And I think that maybe, just maybe, Toshiro and I have been brought closer because of this.

''I went off to buy Ama-nattou at the local store. Got a rude treatment by the store-keeper, and Matsumoto complained to the guy for that'' he started.

''Just like that? Matsumoto? No...No weird..incidences??'' I asked, eyes wide. If Mastumoto makes and entrance then she makes one hell of an impression. I don't care of this was 100 or 50 years ago, Matsumoto is Matsumoto! Toshiro sighed in dread when he looked exhausted just by thinking about it.

''Holy...She rammed into you with her inhuman breasts, didn't she?!'' I asked. I didn't give me an answer and I just rolled over laughing.

''OI!! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!'' he yelled, I looked at him with laughter which wasn't intending to fade soon.

''No, Toshiro, you're right, it's not funny, it's HILARIOUS!!!'' I corrected, and I could feel his eyes narrowing at me. After a few seconds I caughed my breath before I sat back up against the tree again. ''Sorry, but there's nothing to be grumpy over, it's something you should be able to laugh about, you know'' I said. He looked at me with an arched brow.

''Do you laugh when you remember the time Matsumoto got you in that death-grip of hers?'' he asked. I blinked and shivered at the memory.

''Okay, point taken'' I admitted ''Now please continue so that I can distract my mind with something else!''. He looked at me ridiculously before shaking his head, as if he had already categorised me as a moron.

''She was the one who told me that the dreams were my Zanpakto calling out to me'' he continued as he looked ahead again with me looking at him. ''And that my Reiatsu had to be controlled since the leaking out energy was freezing granny when I had these dreams. The only way to do that is to become a Shinigami.'' he looked up the half moon again.

''Granny understood, saying that 'Thinking of not wanting to leave your old granny all alone and hurting yourself like that...I think for me as your grandmother, that was the hardest thing of all.' '' He said. He had a mixture between regret and sorrow on his face. I frowned my eye-brows at him.

''You know when I told you that everyone in the district were afraid of me? They all said that I was 'just like ice'. I didn't know if it was my white hair and blue-green eyes or my cold behavior. But granny never said that...that's why I liked her'' he said. I widen my eyes when I could hear all the emotions when he said that.

''Toshiro...you...'' I started.

''You cried when you said goodbye to her, didn't you?'' I asked. He turned to me and looked at me with wide eyes before forming them to an annoyed, but unconvincing glare.

''Baka! I didn't cry!'' He retorted and looked away before he crossed his arms. I sighed at his stubbornness but also in relief. At least he had gotten over it.

''Souka (I see)'' I answered when I looked up to the moon. ''Ama-nattou...your favorite since the very beginning, huh?'' I chuckled.

''Urusei''

''Hai, hai, Taichou-san'' I said. Then we just sat there in silence as we gazed up the moon. Though it was incomplete, it was still there. It was still amazing.

Like our bond.

As comfortable and calming the silence between us was, it was soon ended by our mocking and teasing and bickering. Yeap...somethings I guess won't ever change.

But then again I don't want them to.

--------------------

Not much lovey-dovey scenes here, but fear not, it'll come XD

**Okay!! Love it? Hate it? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!!!**

**I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU DO!!!!**


	4. Failure to Communicate

**I seriously barely edited ANYTHING out of this one. Sorry, but I thought that it seemed okay...^^;**

**and more importantly: THANK YOU THOSE WHO MADE ME A REVIEW!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I GET EACH TIME I READ ONE!!! **

**Dragon of Twilight: Nice to hear from you again!! I'll try my best on the spellings AND I got myself a beta reader! Believe it or not it's Arelissa!- but I'm an idiot so...hehe**

**Arin-chan: Thanks for your review!! And here's the next chappi!**

**Waterlily777: *sigh of relief* thank God, and here I thought the new version wasn't much...arigato!**

**KurokamiHaruhi: You didn't pester me at all!! I really am happy to have your attention! ^^ Don't feel bad, or I'll feel even worse TT^TT**

**Salem-chan: Thanks for the pat, it made me feel like a kid again!! Don't say things like that about your stories! They're so funny and well-written! haha^^ Yup, tazed, great way of goin' down, ain't it? XD and HELL YEAH, BEYBLADE!! **

**IkuXYori: Thank you for your review!! I've reviewed a story of yours, and I was so happy that you also have a Miyuki!! She's so kawaii! AND THAT NAME RULES!! **

**queenofspades19: I was trying my very best to make sure that it didn't go too fast or too corny...though I'm not too sure with the result, I'm glad that you liked it!!**

**AngelTenshi-chan (Amorny): Yup, extras...WTF, wait a sec! YOU were the one who nagged me NON-STOP about adding brand-new chaps!! You hypocrite!! Nee, but I love ya anyways~ btw, you better have the report done, or you're toast. If it still isn't done yet, go to do it RIGHT NOW, then read this. **

**rockbellrocksroll: I'm not that great, I was just lucky ^^ And thanks for the compliment, I really worked hard for it to not sound too confusing!**

**NeverEndingDreamEnds: Really?? Not moving too fast and not a mary-sue?? THANKYOU!!!! I'm so happy to hear that!!!**

**Inaugurate: I thank you for the compliments! I'll try my best to keep it as good as I can!!**

**Soulless Ghosty: He's not OOC?? What a relief! And here I thought people were just gonna roll their eyes and pick another fanfic because they thought that histugaya was being a softie-Thankyou for boosting my confidence!**

**XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX: Arigato gozaimas! I have a weakness for cute things XD**

**Darkheart1992 (Paine): Is the title that bad?! Oh noes! Thanks for telling me, maybe I'll think about rewriting it...and you haven't done anything wrong! ^^ Okay! I'll add some more detail in the concept, because you do have a point XD**

**Lady Of Summer Haze: I'm teaching jap here! Haha Thank you for your words!**

**NAO-chan: Well, here it is! Enjoy! (I hope...)**

**histugayaXOX: Really? Thankyou!! And even I feel bad for Miyuki and I'm her creator! *gasp* What kind of horrible person am I?! XD**

**Orangesz: THANKYOU! I'VE UPDATED! XD FEAR NOT, MORE DETAIL IS COMING! **

**A very special thanks to my beta/editor, Arelissa. The author of the fanfiction: Riddles of Water. SHE ROCKS!! scary as hell, but rocks! Though I'm surprised she didn't rip my head off- If I had to handle with someone as hopeless as me I think I might just become insane XD**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.**

-x-X-x-

**Failure to Communicate**

_**Alone in the Darkness, I came to find the Reason for your Tears.**_

-x-X-x-

''Kimochi ii~'' I moaned as I slipped into the indoor springs of the onsen nearby. Matsumoto dragged me into it. I had put on my water proof gloves on so that I didn't have a replay of that tea incident. I took the bandages off a few days ago, since it's now healed up again. I pouted in annoyance as I thought about that short Taichou. I STILL can't find my sketchpad, and I **know** that he stole it! I bet it's in his room, but he locked the door to his chambers so that I couldn't go in...damn him!

_''Why are you so sure?'' he asked that smirk on his face._

He saw the pictures, didn't he? I twirled a strand of my pink bangs, blushing and frowning before biting my lip. I always twirled my hair when I was uneasy. It was just one of my bad habits.

That jerk! First I pour my heart out to him, and now he's teasing me when I was vulnerable!

_''I will protect you.''_

That was the first time that I truly believed that someone would protect me. Many people from the government who were assigned to protect me pledged to keep me safe. But this was the first time I actually believed those words.

''Toshiro...''

''I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!'', My eyes widened as when Matsumoto crushed me to her.

''You were thinking about taichou, weren't you? I knew it! So cute!'' she squealed, I blushed and I looked up at her.

''N-No way was I thinking about that _him_!'' My blush darkened.

''You like taichou!'' She squealed as she hugged me tighter ''And you're in denial!''

''CH-CHIGAU! (that's wrong)'' But she ignored me. She kept her arms around me, and I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. For one, her breasts were hindering my breathing, second...you don't need a second for being uncomfortable if you can't supply your lungs with oxygen.

''Mastu-'' I said.

''Rangiku!'' she corrected.

''Rangiku-san-''

Rangiku!!'' she corrected again.

''Rangiku...chan?'', she squealed even louder, I mentally sighed.''I can't breathe...!'' she released me and I splashed back into the warm water. I sat up gasping trying to fill my lungs with that much needed air again.

''Ah! Gomen!'' she started to hold her arms together and fidgeted around, ''I couldn't help myself, you were just so irresistibly cute!'' I was beginning to ask myself if this woman was really an adult, or a kid in a far too old body.

''It sucks that I have to share you with taichou!'' she said as she sat back down next to me, acting normal again. My eyes twitched as my blush returned.

''W-What is it with you and always taunting me as if I like Toshiro?!'' I asked.

''I didn't say that you like him just now.'' She grinned. Dammit.

''Well, you said that earlier on!'' I said, she grinned wider.

''Whatever you say, Miyuki-chan, whatever you say'' she replied, oh **man**, did I want to get rid of that grin on her face!

''You're all going against me.'' I sunk down until the water reached below my nose. I blew out causing bubbles to fizz out.

''Ne,...'' Rangiku said, I looked at her ''How's your hand? Is it okay here?'' There was concern in her eyes as faced me. I also told her about my childhood as well, so she knew about my conditions...and it was downright annoying when she kept on treating me like a raw egg for a few weeks afterwards. I needed to give her a good whack on the head for her to snap out of it.

I smiled gently at her. ''Daijobou, daijobou! The water-proof gloves are great! I can't feel anything.''

''Yokatta,'' she said, relieved. I then remembered the thing I wanted to ask her for some time now and looked at face her.

''Rangiku-chan, are there any records of the souls that pass through to Soul Society?'' I asked

''Yeah, we have an archive of all souls that arrive in this world. It is automatically updated with a special kind of Kidou,'' Rangiku said as she turned to face me. My heart beat faster.

''Where is that archive?'' I asked, unconsciously raising myself higher.

''In the library,'' she answered ''Why?''

''There's something I want to find out. Would I have access to it?'' She tapped her chin with her finger, thinking.

''Well, the Soutaichou allows you to be present in the Taichou meetings. I'm sure that looking through those files shouldn't pose as a problem for you.'' she said before bringing her hand back down and looking back at me. ''Do you know why Yamamoto-soutaichou even allows you to be present?''

I shook my head. To be honest, I had absolutly no idea. In my oppinion it's extremely careless to just let some stranger be in a high-ranked meeting. Many Taichous have mentioned that a couple of times aswell. What if I was an evil mastermind wanting to take over the world? It makes me think that Yamamoto knows more about the Philosopher's Stone than he's telling me. That's the only reason which could explain these strange privileges.

''Could you take me to the library, Rangiku-chan?'' I asked, a slight tone of anxiety in my voice.

''Of course!'' she said, smiling, this time I was the one to hug her.

''Thankyou thankyou thankyou Thankyou!!'' I said ''You're the best, _best_ friend I could ever wish for!!''

''I really am?'' she asked, I didn't catch the mischievous ring in her voice.

''Yes!''

''The best friend you could ever wish for?''

''Yes!''

''I'm that great?''

''Yes!''

''The best there is?''

''Yes!''

''Do you like Hitsugaya-Taichou?''

''Yes!'' My eyes snapped open as I realized what I'd just answered to, ''Chi-Chigau!!'' I said with panic clear in my voice.

''I heard it~ I heard it~'' She sang.

''That's because you tricked me and you know that that is not true!!!'' I said, again, I blushed and released her before I jumped away. I gave her an accusing look and she grinned.

''Souka? I think that we both know that that is not the case...'' she teased, ''You like him so much you can't stand it,'' she taunted, my blush intensified. I then, out of pure reflex of watching Toshiro doing it all the time, imitated his frequent line.

''MATSUMOTO!!!''

--------------

I was sitting by a desk in the library, a few piles of books next to me. All of them were light beige with black bindings, along with the years each one represents. I was scanning through them. Rangiku told me where the documents were, and I took out the ones which I needed. The time gap between when I was seven to nine years old, and I was surprised at how many people die in a year. That one died of cancer, this one was murdered, then old age... All 39, three inches thick books were full of those records in tiny writing. I had already spent 7 hours and I was only on the 30th page in my first book. Dammit...this is going to take a while.

''Why, hello there, Higurashi-chan.'' I looked up from my book and saw a taichou with brown hair and glasses, giving me a kind smile. He actually really suited the library. That scholar hairstyle, glasses, mature kindness...yup, definitly a bookworm.

''Konnichiwa, Aizen-taichou'' I said. He walked over to me, his smile never fading. His steps echoed in the large room, and I felt goosebumps erupt on my arms as it became closer and closer. Once again I was intimidated by the 5th Division Taichou. It doesn't make any sense.

''What brings a young lady like yourself to a library when the weather is so pleasent?'' he asked, I smiled at him slightly, suppressing the little voice in the back of my head telling me to run for it.

''I'm looking through some files,'' I answered, turning to face the pages again. If I couldn't see him, maybe I wouldn't be so scared. I could hear him walking closer, nope, no change, I'm still scared. Great.

''About what?'' he asked, ''Are you looking for someone?''

''Hai...'' I said, ''I want to find my parents, even if it's unlikely.''

''...You do understand that they will have no memories of you or of their previous lives, even if you do find them'' he said.

''Wakatta (I understand)...but I ...really want to just see their faces again,'' I said. I didn't care if they wouldn't know me, all I want is to wipe off their rotting corpses as my last memory of them.

I widen my eyes when I felt Aizen's hand patting my head, I looked up to see his smile still there. ''You're by far the most intriguing girl I've ever met,'' he said. Though his expression was kind, I couldn't help but feel that I couldn't trust him. He was so kind that it was...scary.

But more importantly...It was like I knew him from somewhere...

...somewhere I don't want to even think about.

I mentally shook my head. Don't be stupid, Miyuki.

''H-Hounto ni?(really) Arigato!'' I said, putting on a fake smile on my face.

---------------------

I quickly grabbed a few notes from my room and ran out to the office of the 10th Division. I saw Toshiro and Rangiku looking at me as I put my black, Chinese shoes on like SoiFon- I find them far more comfortable. I've been getting along with her very well, much to everyone's amazement which I couldn't understand, the 13th Taichou Ukitake, 4th Unohana and 8th Kyouraku.

SoiFon was harsh at first, but she is actually a really sweet girl...but that's only showed if you dig really, _really _deep and ignore a _lot_ of comments coming out of her mouth.

''Are you going to the library again?'' Rangiku asked me. It's been three days since I started looking through the records.

''Yeah,'' I said nonchalantly as I quickly picked some books which explained terms and codes. ''I still have a lot of things I need to go through,'' I said with the same, distracted tone as I grabbed an empty notebook of mine out of my shelves.

''We're going to get some breakfast now,'' Toshiro said ''Don't you want to come?'' he asked.

''No thanks, I'll grab something later,'' I answered as I passed him by.

''You haven't been eating right since you've been in this working mode of yours! What the heck are you working on? A plan on world domination?'' he asked, I glanced at him.

''No, but it's a good idea. I'll work on that next time'' ignoring his question, and his ''Oi!!'' when I ran out the door, carrying the items in my arms. That Toshiro never wants me to do anything without his supervision, and I knew that if I told him it has something to do with 'Wahrheit', then he'll definitly not let me out of his sight, which will be frustrating.

-----------------

''Kuno Nabiki, Hoshino Utau, Tanaka Tsubasa, Tou Shinji...'' I mumbled as I looked through the book. The ones I was looking for were Kazuma Higurashi and Ayano Higurashi, but I haven't come across either of those after even nearly 57 hours of going through names. I sighed as I rubbed my temple, I was getting a headache.

''Oi'', I jumped at the voice, but sighed in annoyance. Dang it, he found me.

Without looking back I returned eyes to focus on the pages. ''Toshiro? What are you doing here?'' I asked.

''Checking up on you, I've been assigned to take care of you, remember baka?''

''Does 'taking care' also mean that you have to insult me?'' I said, looking at him over my shoulder and seeing him crossing his arms with his trademark scowl. ''Don't you have paperwork to do?'' I asked in genuine curiosity, he sighed and walked over to me.

''Forced Matsumoto to do the rest,'' he said as he stood next to me. I gave him an incredulous look.

''You left Rangiku-chan ALONE in the office, giving her the opportunity to make off with the wind?'' I asked.

''I confiscated her alcohol stash, and told her that she won't be getting it back until the work is done'' he explained, I chuckled slightly at the image of Rangiku, miserable without her sake. I opened my eyes at the sound of paper rustling and I looked at him to see that he took a brown, paper bag out of his sleeve and threw it to me. I frowned in confusion.

''Here'' he said simply, I caught it and realized that it was warm. After opening it I saw that there were a few meat buns inside, I looked back at him with a surprised expression on my face and he looked away.

''You haven't eaten all day, so I brought you something,'' he said ''Making sure that you don't pass out also falls under the category of 'taking care of someone','' he said as if I was an idiot. I smiled at him.

''I can't eat in here, it's against the rules of the library,'' I said, amused by his behavior and he looked at me.

''Screw the rules, I'm a taichou,'' he said, making me laugh. I took a bun out, tore it in half, bit into the one half and held out the other for him to take.

''I don't want it.''

''Eat it, ya shrimp.''

''WHO ARE YOU CALLING A-Hmpf.'' I cut him off by stuffing the meat bun in his mouth.

''Oh, just shut up and eat.'' I let my hand come back down after securing the bun in his mouth. I looked at him, holding in a laugh because I would choke since I'm eating. He just stood there, arms crossed, and with an annoyed look on his face while chewing the bun. After he swallowed it, he eyed me grumpily.

''This is the last time I'm being this nice to you,'' he announced in a tone that matched his expression. I laughed after I swallowed my bite. His attention was caught by the books and he scanned through the covers quickly.

''Death records from 1999 until 2001?'' he asked, looking at the titles, his eyes bore into mine as he snapped his head up, intending to find the anwer.

''That time span is within the one of your torture'' he said firmly ''Are you looking for you parents?'' he asked. I sighed, that's the problem when you hide stuff from smart people. They always find out, always, no exceptions, all the damn time.

''That's right.'' I sighed as I stretched in my chair. ''Even if I don't find them, it's worth a shot.''

''But it's a really long shot,'' he told me, ''There are so many records that you could very well miss a few names. And no matter how efficient our archives are, we don't have everyone on the list. And if you do find them in the records and find out in which Rukongai they reside, you still have to find them within a whole district.''

''I know that,'' I said quietly, and somewhat sadly. ''There's also a very high chance that they have become Hollows because they wandered around the real world for too long, which is very possible considering how they died.'' I turned to look at him.

''But I owe them at least that much effort,'' I said, he frowned at me.

''What happened to them wasn't your fault,'' he said in a firmly.

''I may not be the one who killed them, but it was because of me that they died,'' I said and smiled sadly ''That's enough of a reason.''

--------------------------

It's been two days since then. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 9pm. After sighing, I marked down where I was in the book and closed it. Five days and not a thing of my parents. I laid the book on the table. Was it really this hopeless?

I sighed again and stood up, instantly regretting it as I slumped to my knees due to the sudden blood rush. I held my hands out front to support my upper half, and soon shifted the weight on my left as I looked at the ground. With my right hand I kneaded my closed eyes before scoffing in irony. I didn't need a mirror to know that my eyes were red and had black bags under them. My hair was starting to get oily and tangled. My head throbbed in pain, along with my eyes, forehead and temple. Both mentally and physically, I was exhausted.

''You're a _mess_, Higurashi Miyuki'' I said to myself, still with that ironic, self-pitying, sick smirk on my face.

----------

I opened the door to the 10th division and saw Toshiro sitting on his desk and a fukutaichou with brown hair in a bun sitting on the couch, wearing the insignia of the 5th division. The fukutaishou of the 5th division, Hinamori Momo. The two of them were having a very friendly conversation, I looked in and smiled.

''So...should I drop by later?'' I asked, smirking. But somewhere in my heart, I didn't like Hinamori.

I pushed that thought away immedietly, she was a kind and hard working girl who deserved every bit of kindness of the world! ...That was the impression I got from Toshiro. He told me what he thought of each taichou and fukutaichou in Soul Society, but he had such a gentle expression on his face when he talked about Hinamori Momo. She had been on a mission recently, which is why I have never seen her before. So I guess she came back and wants to catch up with Toshiro.

The Taichou looked up at me, and smiled. I raised my eyebrows, he must be in a _really_ good mood to be _smiling_.

''So this is the famous Higurashi Miyuki-chan, Shiro-chan!?'' Hinamori asked as she stood up to greet me. Shiro-chan? He'd have my neck if I called him that. I looked at his face, he looked like he would have her head. God, he's so childish about these things.

''Hinamori!'' he yelled out, embarrassed. She completely ignored him and walked over to me. I looked up at her and smiled, ''I'm Higurashi Miyuki. You must be Hinamori-fukutaichou, Toshiro has told me so much about you.''

''Really?'' she asked with wide, disbelieving orbs.

''Yeah, about how clumsy and child-like you are,'' Toshiro retorted, she then turned to him, pouting.

''Hitsugaya-kun! How mean!''

''Hitsugaya-kun ja ne! Hitsugaya-taichou da!! (It's not -kun, it's taichou)'' he corrected, annoyed.

''Hmpf!'' She turned away from him, crossing her arms and sat back down on the sofa. I must admit that I was expecting their relationship to be a bit more...um...'mature'? I sat down on the sofa next to her and listened to their conversation, their teasing and mocking. I felt my heart become more and more constricted as their chatting went on. They spoke of their childhood, how she always brought watermelons back as a treat for him when she was in the Academy.

''You had more or less 20 of them in one go!'' she said, he grinned at her. ''Yeah, but you ate a whopping total of 50'' he said.

''I didn't, Hitsugaya-kun! And you know it!''

''Who knows...'' he answered he looked up in a non-caring manner.

They looked so happy together...a perfect couple...

I mentally shook my head, what was I doing? I was acting as if I had hoped that, that he...

''Miyuki? What's the matter?'' I snapped my head up to see that both Shinigami were looking at me. ''You haven't said a thing yet,'' he said. I waved my hands slightly in defense as I put on an apologetic smile on my face.

''Warui, warui! (my bad)'' I said, standing up. ''I'm just tired. I'll leave you two for tonight,'' I said as I walked around the sofa, supporting myself ever so slightly on the couch head.

''Are you're sure you're okay?'' he asked when he looked at me with a skeptical glint in his turquoise eyes.

''If you count hammer-pounding like headaches, dizziness, wobbliness, fatigue and having a grumpy perspective of the world 'fine', then yup, I'm absolutely peachy!'' I replied sarcasticlly, smirking, he chuckled. I was mentally thanking Mr. goverment-head-social-profiler-whoes-name-I-can't-remember-because-it-was-too-darn-long for teaching me how to act and lie so convincingly. As I walked over to me room I didn't see the shocked expression on Hinamori's face because my back was to her.

''I'll be hitting the sack'' I slid my doors open.

''Night'' Toshiro said, I looked at him over my shoulder.

''Good Night'' I turned to Hinamori whose expression was that of disbelief ''Oyasumi nasai, Hinamori-fukutaichou,'' and slid the door closed.

As I got changed into a lighter kosode I heard the muffled voices of Toshiro and Hinamori. Both voices filled with happiness, well, Toshiro also sounded annoyed, but in his fond way. I went into my bathroom, and slid the white kosode off as I turned the shower on. I couldn't stand the greasy build in my hair any longer, and applied the hair wash and massaged it to a thick layer of bubbles. After cleaning myself, I stood out of the shower, grabbing a white towel to dry myself off, but halted as I looked at myself in the mirror, at the reflection of my face.

My eyes. I could see bitterness in my dark violet orbs as I laid my wet, black gloved hand on the mirror. I was so tired that I didn't even notice the pain on my finger-tips.

Why do I dislike Hinamori? She's never done anything to upset me, heck, this is the first time I ever met her, yet I dislike her, why? She's such a kind and sweet girl...

I widen my eyes when I saw Toshiro's smiling face appeared in my mind when he was looking at Hinamori.

My heart twisted and I laid my hand on my chest, as if holding the area might ease the pain. What's wrong with me?

I then remembered the night I told him about my torture, he held me so tightly against him. I felt so safe, so warm...I wanted to return to that embrace again. I wanted him to hold me close...

''Toshiro...'' I trailed. I widen my eyes when I heard Toshiro yelling in his annoyed tone.

''URUSEI, HINAMORI!!!''

''You're blushing, Shiro-chan, blushing!''

''Will you quit calling me that?!''

I curled the hand on the mirror to a light fist, it trembled slightly. I saw tears forming in my eyes as I heard Hinamori's happy laughs and Toshiro's retorts, this time inaudible and muffled.

''Uso da...(it has to be a lie)'' I said out loud, the tears still gathered ''Masaka...! (it can't be)''

Was I..._jealous_ of Hinamori? Because I...Toshiro...?

I shook my head, hoping to shake out all those thoughts out in the process as the tears slid down my pale cheeks.

''The fatigue and steam are getting to me...'' I muttered to myself in reassurance, rubbing my forehead. All I need is a good night's sleep. Yeah, everything will be fine after that.

-----

The next few days I spent avoiding Toshiro, only talking to him when I needed to. If I felt his reiatsu nearing when I'm in the library, I'd take the books I need and go hide somewhere.

I was about to leave the 10th Division's Captain HQ when a strong voice halted me.

''Sokomadte da (hold it, feeze)'' I did as commanded and froze in place. Not turning around to face Toshiro, not doing anything to face Toshiro.

''What is it with you?'' he asked me, ''Are you mad at me or something? Why are you always avoiding me?'' he asked, I could hear him walking towards me.

''I'm not avoiding you'' I answered as I looked at him over my shoulder, and gave him a small smile ''I've just been very busy'', his eyes widen in mild surprise. It's been a while since I looked at him in the eye, much less given him a smile. I used the opportunity to escape out of the door, again ignoring his ''Oi!''.

I was somewhat angry at Toshiro. I don't know why, but I'm ticked off at him enough to regard my unreasonable grudge as justifiable treatment.

After going through the files for 5 hours or so, I realized that I had left the dictionary for the complicated codes in Toshiro's office. Dammit. That means I have to see him, so I'll have to make it quick. I sighed and stood up from my table, thinking of where I put the book to avoid to spend more time in his presence while aimlessly looking for the bloody thing.

I once again stood in front of the 10th Division door, inwardly sighing, I opened the door, and to my surprise, saw Toshiro, all mighty, work-a-holic Toshiro, leaned face-first onto his table, still sitting on his chair. Paperwork still piled on his desk. Okay...this is seriously NOT what I had expected. I looked around and saw Rangiku nowhere, but spotted my book in the coffee table, ran over to it and grabbed it. I felt really awkward for walking into the Taichou while he was having a...a nap? Though it looked like he passed out, his light snoring convinced me that he was alright. I turned to leave, but nearly jumped out of my skin and dropped the book when he suddenly sat up.

''OOIII-...Wheeree do..you tthhiiink yoou're goiinn'?'' he slurred. My eyes were wide as I tried to figure out who this imposter was. He stood up and staggered around the table, and I was about to make a run for it when he used shunpo to pin me to the wall. His face was only a few centimeters from mine, his eyes were half-open, and his expression was really so...seductive. Curse it, he always has that effect when his lids are half-open. And that he had such an unaware look on his face didn't exactly make the situation any better. A blush tainted my cheeks when I realized what I was thinking about.

''Hitsugaya...san?'' I asked, smiling nervously.

''Neee, Mi-chaaaan...'' he slurred, I blushed even deeper at that nickname, he leaned his forehead on mine. ''Whyyyy arrrreee...... yoou always ouuut...?'' he asked, frowning. His face has never been this close to mine before, and this was the first time I could actually...smell his scent. I could smell the aroma of watermelons and would've chuckled if it wasn't for the position I was in now. My nose wrinkled when it detected sake in his breath, though it wasn't much.

''A-A-A-Ano, Toshiro...'' I said ''I didn't know that you drink...''

''Whaat are yaa...talkinnnn' abbooout...?'' he slurred ''Answeerree mmeee...whhhyy arree yyoou alwwaayys gooonne?'' he asked again.

''You know, fresh air...going out...studying?'' I said as I tried to free myself from his grasp, but he then held me in place with his hands on my arms, and pinned my body with his own. My blush intensified as I held in a moan, damn hormones...

''Buut youu're alwaays avoidddin' meeee...'' he slurred, he leaned in closer ''I miss..youuu...''

By now my heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode, he isn't planning on...kissing me, right?? My fear was realized when his lips were mere millimeters from mine. A thought ran through my mind that surprised even myself.

I didn't want him to kiss me...under these circumstances...

I pushed him away ''No, Toshiro, not like this!'', but before I could escape he pinned me to the ground, his legs cradling my hips and he pinned my wrists on each side of my head. I looked up at him, and noticed that during the struggle his kimono shirt was slightly apart, showing off his tanned, muscular chest. He looked at me with that seductive look again, I bit my lip and blushed intensively as I had to look away, trying to get all these images out of my head.

''Why aarre yoou avooidin' mee...pleeasse, tell meee...'' he slurred but I could hear the plea in his voice, I looked back at him, his eyes held genuine hurt. I widen my eyes at that. I gave him an apologetic smile, and opened my mouth to tell him my thoughts. He was drunk, right? He won't remember this conversation when he snaps out of it.

''Gomen ne, Toshiro, I'm really no good'' I apologized, he seemed to have widen his eyes at that ''Even though I promised myself to keep you happy no matter what, all I have done is hurt your feelings...''

''Forgive me...'' I looked away ''I'll be happy for you and Hinamori...'' my voice trailed off.

''Mi-chaaaan...Are youu...jealous...?'' he asked, trying to stop his slurring, which failed quite miserably. I closed my eyes tightly. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I couldn't see him he couldn't see me either.

''Youu...thiinnk thaat...Hiinamorii annd mme..?'' he slurred, I nodded feebly, for someone's who's stark drunk, he's still very sharp. I turned to look at him when he sighed heavily.

''Bakaa...'' he slurred, but softly this time. I looked at me with such intensity and tenderness at the same time with his piercing turquoise eyes that I nearly trembled, what did he mean by that? Maybe, he...? My blush intensified again when he started to loosen my robe-belt. I pushed him off and pinned him on the ground, and gave him an annoyed glare. He was drunk, it's not his fault to act like this, but still, I'm a girl who has a girl's heart so I was naturally annoyed. We were in the exact same position just switched.

''Oi, you! I just poured my heart out to you and you go off with your perverted thoughts!'' I said. ''And who are you calling baka, baka?!'' He grinned goofily, definitly out of character.

''Mi-chaan...I didn't knnoow that you likked to be oontop'' he said. My face became flustered, but I narrowed my eyes at him.

''Don't make me hurt you,'' I warned and he put a sexy smirk on his face.

''Youu're soo cccute whennn you're angryy,'' he said, my mouth was agape and my blush felt like would burn my face off, he used that opportunity to pin me back down. I looked up at him, I really felt like the rabbit here and he's the wolf.

''How mean, you always take advantage of me...'' I said, his face softened.

He bent down, closing the gap between us. I didn't have the power to push him off or even to stop him. I just looked up at him with soft, wavering eyes.

''Miyuki...'' he whispered, it was the first thing he said so far which didn't slur... My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst. I had the energy to run away. Physically I had all the power in the world to push him off me...but emotionally I was too weak. My rational mind told me to run. My heart told me to stay where I am.

I didn't care that he may very well be acting on impulse, I didn't care that this was because of the alcohol, I didn't care that these may not be his true feelings. Why?

I looked at him as he came closer and closer to me, our eyes never wavering from each other's gaze. Why am I feeling this way?

My eyes soften further as it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Why I'm always so eager for him to be happy.

Why I'm so happy when he laughs and smiles.

Why I adore his smirks and pouts.

Why I always have him on my mind.

Why I take all his words so to heart.

Why I'm so jealous because of him.

Why I'm...enjoying this.

All these confusing questions...yet the answer was so painfully simple.

I was in love... with Hitsugaya Toshiro, Shinigami, Captain of the 10th Division. The stubborn, genius prodigy... whose lips were mere millimeters from my own.

''OH MY GOD, TAICHOU, MIYUKI-CHAN!!''

We both turned our heads to face the door where Rangiku stood, shocked beyond words.

''I didn't know you two went this far!'' She said, grinning from ear to ear. I blushed bright red and bashed Toshiro off me, making him sprawl out of the ground, unconscious. Rangiku paced over to me with a confused look.

''Whaddya do that for?'' she asked, seemingly disappointed that she didn't see anything more 'juicy'. I sat up and glared at her.

''You!'' I said, then pointed at Toshiro's unconscious form ''Were YOU responsible for this?!'' I asked, she laughed nervously.

''I just spiked his tea with a little sake...I didn't know that he was _this_ bad at holding his liquor'' she answered meekly, becoming small under my furious aura.

''That's the only answer you have after I thought I was gonna get raped?!?!''

''But you enjoyed it...''

''MASTUMOTO!!!!''

''He was so grumpy and upset that you were ignoring him the whole time I just had to do something to loosen him up!'' she explained, clenching her eyes shut and using her arms as if to brace for impact.

I sighed. ''Go get some asprin for Toshiro, he's gonna have one heck of a hangover,'' I said as I stood up and walked over to the Taichou.

'' 'Aspirin'? What's that?'' she asked. I sighed and waved it away.

''Nan demo nai, nan demo nai (nothing, nothing)'' I said and looked at Rangiku again, ''Uh...a little help here?''

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Rangiku had helped me tuck Toshiro into bed, and I got a glass of water for him. The strawberry blonde had left after saying: ''You can moan as loud as you want when you two are making passionate love- The walls are very thick!'' I suppressed a blush when I remembered her words. I'm so going to get even with her...Seriously! That woman only has perverted thoughts in her head!

I then looked at Toshiro's sleeping face. I was mildly surprised at how defenceless he seemed. It's hard to believe what a seductive look he had a few minutes ago, yet now he looks...adorable. Before I knew it I was gently caressing his cheek and frowned when I realized that I wasn't able to feel his skin beneath my gloves.

I just sat there on the floor, next to his futon bed, softly stroking his face with my thumb.

Oh, crap, am I a sucker for falling this deep after just three months... I guess I have no right to call all my girlfriends from school wimps anymore, do I? He stirred, I withdrew my hand, and slowly his eyes opened. He blinked a few times as he saw me, sitting next to him.

''Miyuki...?'' he asked ''What am I doing in bed?'' I mentally sighed, in both relief and disappointment. He's sober.

''I found you passed out on your desk, and dragged you back here'' I answered ''You were drunk as hell'' I added. He looked at me with an panicked expression before he shot up in a sitting position.

''Uh,..I didn't say or d-d-do...anything, did I?!'' He asked, I could've sworn I saw him blushing. Oh shit, don't tell me he remembers...

''Yeah,'' I said, ''You said something''

''W-What did I say?!'' he asked.

'' 'I swear to drunk I'm not God' '' I said, he looked at me, wide-eyed.

''...Nothing else?''

''Nothing else.''

He sighed in relief, I grinned, now I shall have revenge for my sketch book.

''Why? Did you dream of doing naughty things with me?'' I asked in the exact same tone and attitude as he did when he asked me if I drew pictures of him nude. He blushed bright red with panic in his eyes, desperately trying to say something in denial, but his words kept dying in his throat. I arched a suggestive brow at him with half-lidded eyes as I fixed a smirk on my lips.

''So I guess I'm right?'' I asked, he glared at me, but his spine-shivering glare didn't turn out so threatening since he was so flustered. I laughed.

''Revenge's a bitch'' I said with a lecturing tone. ''I WILL find my sketch book, Toshiro, you can bet your Zanpakto on it''

He started to recover from his blush, giving me his annoyed look.

''That wasn't necessary, you know'' he said.

''Who said I did it out of necessity?'' I asked as I took the glass of water before handing it over to him. ''Here, it's not much, but it'll help.''

He took it and muttered a thanks before gulping the water down. I took the glass and laid it on the floor beside me.

''When your headaches clears, you'll be 100%- but that will take a while'' I said as I stood up ''Have a nice, long sleep...and grow while you're at it.''

''At least I'm taller than you!!'' he ranted.

''By and INCH'' I replied ''Hardly noticeable.''

''Noticeable enough for me to rub it into your face!'' he said, I shrugged as I turned around.

''Unlike a certain snowman I know, I act mature on this and accept the reality that I'm short'' I said casually as I started walking towards the bedroom door. I could hear his mutterings of him not being short, and that he just lives in a big world.

''Ja (c'ya)'' I said before sliding the door open.

''Oi...'' I halted and looked over my shoulder at him ''Nani? (what)''

He looked up at me from his sitting position, with an unsure look on his face.

''Will you now tell me why you've been ignoring me these past few days?'' he asked. I raised my eyebrows then sighed and turned to look ahead of me. I could feel his eyes boring two holes in the back of my head.

''...I already told you why and apologized, what more do you want?'' I answered softly. I could feel his eyes growing wider, then stepped out of the room and slid the door shut. Not feeling the need to give him any more of a hint.

----

The weeks passed by, and I was disappointed to find no records of my parents, so I gave up on searching. There was also a big commotion because some ryokas have intruded, and a Shinigami, Kuchiki Rukia, was to face execution.

I'd managed to keep Rangiku's mouth shut, and being especially persistent about her under NO circumstances tell Toshiro. He's got an indirect hint, he doesn't bloody well need a direct one for Pete's sake!

Once again I was on the couch, lying down while the Taichou and Fukutaichou, yes, fukutaichou, were doing paperwork. Rangiku wasalways whining and Toshiro getting annoyed and telling her to 'shut up or I'll freeze your ass'. After looking through documents for so many days, my eyes stung every time I read anything.

I snapped my eyes open when I heard an announcement.

**''Hitsugaya-taichou and Higurashi Miyuki, you are to come to the 1st Division headquaters now to discuss the matter regarding the Kenja no Ishi. That is all.''**

I sighed. Three months, old man, three months. I'm interested to see what you've come up in that time. I heard Toshiro standing up.

''You heard, Miyuki.'' he said, then turned to Rangiku ''And don't you even think about running off- there's no escape,'' he warned, pointing at the paperwork. I could see the tears flowing out Rangiku's eyes as I stood up.

''You're cruel, Toshiro,'' I said as we made our way to the 1st Division grounds.

''She deserves it,'' he said as we walked side-by-side. I chuckled lightly.

''Speaking of her deserving something, what did you do as a punishment for spiking your tea?'' I asked.

He smirked. ''Oh no, you didn't-'' I started, his smirk only widened.

''I can't believe that you froze all her sake! No wonder she's been so depressed!''

''Never mess with a taichou, and especially not a prodigy,'' he said with a satisfied grin on his face. I sighed while shaking my head, he laughed.

''I wonder if Yamamoto Soutaichou wants to execute me now, too,'' I said, ''What do you think he's found out?'' I looked over at Toshiro.

''I have no idea...'' he said with a worried expression. I gulped, so the Soutaichou is the ruthless kind of guy? Aw, crud.

-------------

End of chappi!!!

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	5. Birthright: The Beginning of Beginnings

**And here's the fifth! Sorry it took so long, minna-san!**

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**AAAnnndd! All the Japanese words' translations are in a glossary at the end of this chapter. It was suggested so I thought I'd try it out. Tell me what you think!**

-xXx-

**'Birthright- The Beginning of Beginnings'**

_**Worthless, utter Illusions...I'll make my presence unforgettable.**_

-xXx-

_''Shinpai suruna, Miyuki, I won't let anyone hurt you, so calm down!'' Toshiro said with a tint of annoyance in his voice as I fidgeted._

That was what he said before we came into Yamamoto's office.

Toshiro and I were sitting before the Soutaichou, who had a very...organic looking screen on his side. It showed a woman with bright, crimson hair in raster-locks tied in a high pony-tail and sharp, green eyes. Her chin was very strong, like her jaw line. Her eyebrows were trained downwards, which was quite scary. She seemed to be in her late twenties, early thirties and we only saw her red uniform jacket since the screen only showed her upper body.

''This is Nicole Flamel, a friend of mine from the English branch of Soul Society,'' Yamamoto said, ''She's the one of the members of the Philosopher's Tribunal, and the one who trained the Prime Marshal- the leader with the same position as me.'' She looked at me with a very powerful gaze. Let me get this straight, they want this big shot to train me? Wouldn't this be a case of over-qualification?!

''So this is the girl you were talking about, Shigekuni?'' she asked in perfect Japanese; I didn't even hear an accent. Yamamoto nodded. Both Toshiro and I were astonished. She...She just used his given name! _And_ no suffix! Who the **hell** is this woman? I peeked over at Toshiro from the corner of my eye to see that Toshiro seemed even more amazed than I was. This isn't something you see everyday.

''Her name is Higurashi Miyuki,'' Yamamoto said.

Flamel's orbs pierced mine. ''The girl's seen many tragedies with her eyes.''

I didn't answer, Toshiro also looked a bit uneasy. Yamamoto was trying to convince this Flamel person to become my sensei to master Renkinjutsu, but apparently she wasn't an easy person to persuade.

''Why do you want to learn how to use Alchemy?'' I raised my eyebrows at her blunt question.

''Because I don't want to be a burden, constantly clinging on someone for support,'' I answered firmly, yet politely at the same time. I could feel Toshiro's eyes on me. She seemed mildly surprised by my answer as well. ''All those tragedies you said I saw, was because of what I am...I wish to gain equivalency by becoming something useful.''

''Omoshiroi, konno musume,'' she said, smirking. ''Alright, I'll accept the offer to train her.''

''Wonderful.'' Yamamoto sighed and looked at the screen to face her. ''How about you come over to Soul Society? It's been a long time since we've seen each other face-to-face.'' Toshiro widen his eyes slightly at Yamamoto's words, this obviously was a side of the Soutaichou he's never seen before.

''Fine by me,'' she answered casually. I didn't know how I was supposed to react. Happy? Excited? Scared? Nervous?

''Is that okay with you, Higurashi?'' she asked, glanced at me. I bowed my head.

''Hai, arigato gozaimas. Yoroshiku onegaishimas, Flamel-sensei,'' I answered humbly.

''Drop the formality, it makes me feel old.'' A ghost of a smile crossed my lips in amusement, but I kept my head slightly tilted down so she didn't see it. She crossed her arms, and that grin appeared on her face again.

''The training will be hard, you might even see hell on the way.'' I inwardly shivered at her statement- not because of its content, but because she wasn't joking. Her sadistic expression was a bonus.

''I'll try my best not to disappoint you.'' '-But I will' I added silently.

''No, no, no, no, no!'' she said in English as she shook her head. ''Say it with more confidence, like: 'I'll give it my all, yeah!''' She gave a dramatic pose and my eyes twitched. Toshiro had to fight to keep the stern look on his face.

''Okay, Shigekuni, I'll be there in three days,'' she said as she looked at the elder. ''Prepare an arena which you wouldn't mind being demolished,'' she added, I gulped. This woman's scary...

''I always do,'' Yamamoto answered. She nodded, satisfied, and snapped her fingers. A few sparks of red light flared in front of me and I saw four books appear.

''Those are the best alchemy introduction books I have,'' she said, I looked up at her from the books with a surprise expression on her face, so did Toshiro. How the heck did she do that?

''I want you to learn the contents of it by heart. Word for word, no exceptions,'' she said, ''It shouldn't be difficult since you have a photographic memory like all Philosopher's Stones.''

I widen my eyes at that. ''So that's why I...?'' I asked, she sighed.

''I'll explain to you what a Philosopher's Stone is when I tutor you,'' she said, ''Until then you'll need to depend on those books.'' She then gave us the casual, two-finger salute.

''I need to go now, see you in three days.'' With that, the screen blacked out.

I just sat there, slightly dazed as my eyes rested on the 'magic' books. What exactly happened just now?

-----

I sighed. I was walking down the hallway with the books in my arms, Toshiro was walking next to me. Right now the idea of reading was really not preferable, my eyes were stinging just thinking about it.

''What did I say about 'you won't be hurt'?'' My thoughts of dread were interrupted by the short Taichou, who had an 'I told you so' ring to his voice. I laughed, earning a smirk from him. I raised my head up slightly to look at the white-haired prodigy.

''Yes, I know, thank you for protecting me. And sorry for making you worry about my life.'' I chuckled when I saw the very faint pink on his cheeks.

''But that Flamel-sensei is really intimidating,'' I said. He looked at me with raised eye-brows. ''I wonder if she'll over-train me...'' I frowned.

''Or what if I'm absolutely hopeless at Renkinjustu...'' I sighed again. Worry, worry, worry, worry, that's all I ever do.

''I'm sure you'll be alright.''

I gave Toshiro a sidelong look. He kept facing forward with his arms crossed in his sleeves. I raised my eyebrows, then smiled cheekily.

''I think you're over estimating me.'' Though I made it sound like a joke, I meant what I said.

''I don't think so,'' Toshiro answered. This guy never ceases to amaze me.

''To-chan, I know you think I'm incredible and amazing, but I've never done mojo in my life before.'' And this time his blush was clearly apparent, his perplexed face turned to me.

''I don't think you're nearly as incredible and amazing as me.'' He gave me his trademark smirk and I stuck my tongue out at him. ''Very mature and well-handled,'' he said, his smirk widening.

''You think I'm plenty amazing, don't you?'' Mocking Toshiro always gets rid of bad thoughts, which is why I loved doing it so much. He gave me an annoyed glare.

''Yeah, right! You can't do anything without me!'' Frustration was rising in his voice.

''Are you sure it's not the other way around?'' I asked him with half-lidded eyes and a bored expression.

''I bet you can't stand being too far away from me!'' he said, this time I was the one who had a red colour on my face.

''Whatever you say, To-chan. But you've grown extremely attached to me, haven't you?'' I was trying to act like the smarter one, which is quite easy when Toshiro is in this mood.

''Well you also-'' I cut off his reply by pressing a gloved finger to his lips. He blushed at my sudden touch and we both halted.

''Of course I have, Toshiro.'' I smiled, his eyes widen further and his blush deepened. I pulled my hand back, ''And that I can shut you up with a simple touch is quite amazing, isn't it?'' I added as I started walking along the hall again. After a few of his mumbles I heard his sandals tapping on the ground as he sped up to walk next to me again.

''You manipulator.'' He crossed his arms again, giving me his grumpy look.

''I'm proud of my slyness.'' I grinned at him.

''What about your stubbornness?'' he asked, trying to provoke me with a mocking smirk.

''Of course!'' I laughed at his pout. There goes his chance to make me angry.

'' 'Because I don't want to be a burden, constantly clinging on someone for support','' Toshiro said, I looked at him with raised eyebrows to see that he was looking straight ahead at the hallway. His eyes flickered with an emotion I wasn't familiar with. '' 'All those tragedies you said I saw, was because of what I am...I wish to gain equivalency by becoming something useful'.''

''Impressive memory.'' He ignored my remark and turned his head to face me again, his visage devoid of any taunt or tease.

''Is that what you really think?'' he asked. I rubbed my chin thoughtfully as I tilted my head up to look at the ceiling.

''Well, to be perfectly frank, I was thrown into a room with about 30 seconds notice that I apparently wanted to become a master alchemist's disciple, and a lady with scary eyes asked me why I wished to learn the jutsu,'' I said, ''I am also very weak in the perspective of combat, and I hate being a burden because I hate burdens.''

''You're no burden, annoying as hell, but not a burden,'' he said with a slight amusement in his voice, I gave a mock-annoyed glare and I smirked.

''I resent the side-comment,'' I said, before I continued, my eyes softening with sadness. ''And I do...want equivalency, that what I had been suffering maybe, just maybe, become an equal trade one day.''

There was an awkward silence between us. Him not knowing what to say and me thinking of some way to move onto another subject. The only thing that we could hear were our foot-steps against the wooden floor.

''On that cheery note...'' I sighed as I shifted the books balanced dangerously atop on another. In a flash, the white-haired captain had taken three of the four books out of my arms. ''Ah...!'' I said, ''I can carry it!'' But he didn't budge and raised his hands out of my reach when I tried to grab the books.

''I'm carrying these,'' he said as if it were set in stone. I sighed slightly at his stubbornness, but I must admit...he can be really sweet.

''Anyway, how's the Fukutaichou who lost against one of the Ryoka? His name was...Abarai Renji, right?'' I asked.

''He's fine, last time I saw him he was being ditched by his Taichou, though. He's got himself into a huge mess by letting one of the Ryoka go by,'' he answered, ''Hinamori's quite upset about it.''

''These Ryoka are starting to get out of hand, aren't they? I mean, even the higher-ups were ordered to carry their Zanpakto at all times and were even given permission to release them in Seireitei,'' I said, worried. He scoffed in amusement at my nervousness

''Don't worry, they may be strong, but we're stronger.'' He smirked and I rolled my eyes.

''Your ego will be the end of you if you keep it up,'' I said, his expression became serious when he looked like he remembered something.

''Miyuki, if I ask you about the Taichou of the 3rd Division, do you know who I'm talking about?'' I narrowed my eyes slightly, thinking.

''You mean that guy with the permanent smirk? Ichimaru Gin?'' I asked, ''The one who got into a teensy bit of trouble with the Soutaichou because he let the Ryoka off the hook?''

''...Be careful around Ichimaru,'' he said, still very serious, ''I've got a very bad feeling about him.''

As he finished the sentence, we found ourselves before the door of the 10th Division. He slid the door open and walked in before closing it behind me.

''You suspect him of foul-play?'' I laid the books on the coffee table, as did he, before he walked over to his desk and sat down. Neither of us were really affected by the fact that Rangiku wasn't here.

He didn't give an answer, which I took to mean 'yes'. I looked at him, and my expression must've been betraying me because Toshiro noticed it with wide eyes. For him to look so surprised, I must've looked very worried.

''Miyuki...'' His eyes had a determined glint in them. ''I'll definitly protect you, so don't worry,'' he said, I smiled at him weakly.

''Yeah...I know...''

But I knew that something terribly wrong is going to happen...not soon, but it's coming closer and closer, that day...

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

_Alchemy is a science where one understands the structure of matter, breaks it down, then rebuilds it._

_However this is by no means an all-powerful technique, as one cannot create something out of nothing._

_If one wishes to gain something, one must present, and sacrifice something of equal value._

_This is the concept of equivalent exchange, the fundamental basis of alchemy._

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

To put it in practical terms, Alchemy is an art where you use the Reiyoku in your soul as energy to transmute objects. Theoretically, you use an alchemic circle which has all the formula on it, then concentrate your energy and voila, transmuted matter. But there is an iron rule in this: Equivalent Exchange, which I believe comes from the phrase 'Matter cannot be destroyed nor created, only altered'.

You can only transmute if you understand the three basic steps of alchemy- Understanding the material, breaking it down, then rebuilding it. As Flamel told me, this is one of the strongest jutsu (art(s)) there are...

...And I'm completely **useless** at it.

''No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!'' Flamel yelled in English angrily as she kept swiping and swiping at me with her cutlass. My blocking was messy and I was barely able to keep up with my katana.''It's been a **week **now!'' she said, ''Yet you STILL haven't been able to use alchemy whatsoever! All I've been teaching you is martial arts, and even at that you're nothing special!'' she scolded, and the sparring continued as we stood in an unused training ground, which was almost in ruins now from all the fits she's been throwing.

Flamel wore a red uniform jacket with a white strap around her waist and black trousers. I was wearing a tight, black suit with a light purple kimono top and white leg warmers. My hair was tied into a high braid, but I left my bangs as they were.

''I'm sorry, I-!'' I was cut off by another swipe of her sword.

''Shut up!'' she yelled in English as she looked at me from above with stern eyes. ''That sword in your hand is the first and only thing you've transmuted! It's a perfect transmutation! That is the absolute proof that you're ABLE to perform alchemy! I have no reasons to think that you are as hopeless as this! Are you mocking me?!''

I glanced at the white-silver katana in my grip. It was a beautiful sword, perfect to the detail. I remember exactly how I transmuted it; I don't think that I'd forget it so easily.

_''Okay, Higurashi, let's get this straight,'' Flamel said as we stood on the training grounds for the first time. She clapped her hands and placed them to the ground. As soon as she arrived, she dragged me here from chatting with Ukitake in his office. She literally __**dragged**__ me. I was amazed when I saw red sparks fill the air and her pulling a European sword out of the ground. So this must be...'alchemy'. But I flinched when I saw the woman, who was standing about ten feet in front of where I stood, pointed her sword at me._

_''If you are weak by nature, then I may very well kill you by accident,'' she said flatly. ''I have no interest in weak people.'' With that she dashed towards me with frightening speed, my eyes were wide with fear. I was frozen to the spot, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even breath._

_She was supposed to teach me how to use alchemy, not beat it out of me!_

_''DON'T JUST STARE AT ME, GIRL!'' she yelled and made me snap out of my trance. I ducked at the last moment before she struck out with her blade. I was on the ground, looking up at her with terrified eyes. If I hadn't had dodged, my neck would've come clean off...does this lady even know what she's doing?!_

_I cringed when she raised her sword above her head. ''You have nothing else?'' she asked with narrowed eyes._

_´What a complete psycho.`_

_I widen my eyes at that voice._

_´You're gonna have to defend yourself,` it said. It was a woman's voice, a very strong and powerful one. But I could hear my own vocals- but the way she pronounced everything was a lot rougher and deeper than I do._

_The voice wasn't coming from my ears...it was coming from my head! _

_Flamel starting to bring her blade down._

_Without any control over my body I clapped my hands and placed them on the ground below me, white sparks admitted from the earth and I pulled a white-silver katana out and blocked the sword just in time. I was panting as sweat gathered at my forehead and slid down, ending their paths by falling to the ground with a 'pitter patter'._

_Flamel looked bewildered. Though her sword was still clashed against mine, she didn't have the attention to add pressure on it. The master alchemist shakily opened her mouth to speak, as if she had just seen a ghost._

_''Without...a...circle...?'' she said in disbelief._

_Circles? I just did hocus pocus without me registering that it was __**my **__will to do it, and she only thinks about _circles_?!_

After that, Flamel's been training me regularly for a week- but after that incident, try as I may, I just wasn't able to transmute again. I'd clap my hands and put them on the ground, but nothing happens. Well, maybe a gust of wind will blow by, but I highly doubt those were my doing. Flamel also gave me alchemical circles to work with, since apparently only the most experienced alchemists can just clap their hands and use their own body to act as the transmutation circle. But they were dead ends as well. Nothing worked.

But the origin of that voice puzzled me to no end. I'd hear a few whispers and comments from her here and there, but I didn't tell anyone about it. Not even Toshiro. Because before I want to explain anything, _I_ need to understand who or what she is. But Flamel was the only exception- she's a Philosopher's Stone, maybe this is a Philosopher's Stone thing?

That woman is needless to say extremely frustrated with me, but whenever I try to explain about the 'voice' to her, she'd cut me off by coming at me with her sword.

'But Flamel-sensei, I-!' *swipe*

'Please, listen to what-!' *swing*

'This is very impor-!' *swipe*

'There was this-!' *swing*

That happens **all the damn time**. And do you know what she answers with?

'I WON'T HEAR ANY EXCUSES!'

I'm not giving you an excuse, I'm giving you a FREAKIN' EXPLANATION!

I widen my eyes as I jumped back to avoid another blow which was more aggressive than her usual orchestra of raging attacks. She narrowed her eyes at me and I could see anger glinting in those green slits.

''You were thinking about something snotty, weren't you?!'' she asked.

''No, what, me? Of course not, Flamel-sensei! Why would I even think of such a thing?'' I asked, with a weak, crooked smile on my lips. She just narrowed her eyes further.

Apparently, Philosopher's Stones are by nature very intelligent and learn very fast, though who is born as one is completely coincidental.

In the English branch of Soul Society all the 'Soul Reapers' are Philosopher's Stones. Normal souls have no chance of becoming a Soul Reaper because they are unable to become alchemists. This is why the English branch has so little, but extremely elite members.

But at this point Flamel wasn't even sure if I was a proper Philosopher's Stone or not. Reason one was: If I was born on Japanese soil, then I should have inherited the powers of a Japanese Shinigami. But instead, I received the powers of an English Soul Reaper. Reason number two was simply because I suck so badly at alchemy that it's laughable.

Before I knew it I was kicked from the back and I flew towards the ground.

''GAAHH!!!'' I saw the ground coming closer to my face. But I turned in mid air so that my chest wouldn't get crushed on the impact and landed on my side. I flipped over to face her, propping my body up with my elbows. Exhausted, at the end of my wit and defeated. Sweat was rolling down my head like waterfalls and I panted even harder, my chest rising up and down. I clenched my eyes shut when I saw Flamel dashing towards me again, this time with her sword raised to attack me.

This is going to hurt...

*CLASH*

I snapped my eyes open and saw that Toshiro was standing in front of me. His Hyourinmaru was blocking Flamel's sword and the crimson-haired woman looked down at the Taichou with raised eyebrows.

Toshiro's back was bigger than I thought and the kanji of ten was standing out proudly on his white haori. His white, spiky hair waved as a gust of wind passed by.

''That's as far as you go, Flamel.'' His voice had a warning edge to it.

''Interfering with our training again, are you, taichou?'' she asked, arching a brow.

''I only interfere when I get the impression that you don't know when to hold it,'' he said firmly.

''I've explained this to you countless times,'' she said, their swords were shaking because neither backed down. ''I'm training her as her sensei, she'll obviously get wounded once in a while.''

''I don't care who you are, I won't let anyone under any circumstances harm Miyuki.'' I felt my cheeks warming.

''You're annoying,'' she said, ''I'm her master, and I'm in charge of her. So back off.'' Irritation was rising in her voice.

''I know that you're her sensei, which is why I let you go this far.'' Toshiro was completely unfazed by her attitude. Even though I was behind the taichou, I could feel the tension passing between the two. ''I'm really stretching my self-control not to give you a good piece of my mind,'' he said through gritted teeth, unconsciously adding force onto his katana.

''Souka?'' With that she pulled her sword back, clapped her hands, and the sword turned to dust as it fell to the ground. ''The sun has set, training is over,'' she said and turned to the 1st Division grounds. I looked up at the sky and she was right. The sun was setting...Heavens, am I slow sometimes...Well, I guess you would pay more attention to flying blades that are coming at you than the sky.

''There won't be any training tomorrow, Miyuki, I have to discuss matters with the Tribunal,'' she said looking at me, and gave me her _look_.

Allow me to explain the _look_. It's the strangest yet most effective combination of threats, wrath and murderous intent all in one. It's unbelievably terrifying- Toshiro's usual cold glares were child's play compared to that. This one was on **fire**. Now I can see why the great Soutaichou of the Seireitei has so much respect for her- She'd probably defeat him in ten seconds flat...maybe I'm exaggerating, but underestimating her power will doubtlessly lead to devastation. That's nothing surprising, as I was told by Ukitake. The English Soul Society is the strongest of all Soul Societies, because it's the first. The Philosopher's Tribunal's three ranked officers are the ones who have the saying- they make the big decisions, similar to the Office of Forty-Six in Seireitei, except for the fact that they all have strength comparable to the Prime Martial.

I saw her heading towards the 1st Division grounds; she was staying with Yamamoto during her time here- that Sasakibe-fukutaichou of the 1st division was more than happy to have a Westerner, an English no less, staying in their headquarters. Toshiro sighed, sheathed Hyourinmaru and kneeled down beside me before frowning.

''Daijobouka, Miyuki?'' he asked, I smiled and waved him off.

''Daijobou, daijobou!'' I said. ''Taskete kureta, arigato na, Toshiro.'' I blushed when Toshiro scanned my body and spotted a few cuts and gashes. He narrowed his eyes.

''That reckless wench...'' he said under his breath, I sighed.

''Reckless and blood lusting, yes, but she's a very good teacher because of that...though she could lay off the reckless and blood lusting part...'' Toshiro was right, she often did go too far for my well being. The other day she nearly stabbed me in the gut, if it weren't for Toshiro I would've been a goner. Although she is a nice person in general, she is just not used to teaching beginners. And she's impatient. And aggressive. And rash. And brutal. And out of her bloody mind.

''Oh, well...'' I sighed again and stood up, which I instantly regretted. I was too deprived of energy and started to lose my footing. I nearly slumped back down, but Toshiro caught me just in time. He had a firm arm on my back and my legs; I suppressed a blush. He smirked down at me slightly.

''Real elegant,'' he said, I narrowed my eyes at him.

''You tripped me.'' His smirk widen as he started walking towards the 10th headquarter grounds.

''Quit it with your depression! You're improving well, Miyuki!'' he said.

''You suck at lying, Toshiro,'' I said, smiling slightly at his attempt to cheer me up. Before he had the chance to retort, I leaned my head on his chest. I felt him stiffen slightly and heard his heart-rate going up. I closed my eyes and listened to it,

_Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum Ba-dum..._

I was happy that I could make him react like this. Maybe, just maybe, he might...

Soon I fell asleep in his arms.

...Keep dreaming, Miyuki.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I was in my office, and looked at the black haired girl I was holding, slumbering peacefully. She snuggled closer to my chest, causing me to blush deeper. Once again I was thanking whatever power it was that made Matsumoto absent. I stood in front of the couch, debating with myself if I wanted to let go of her.

Soon I gave up on my hopelessness and sat down on the couch, legs crossed, with her in my arms, still sleeping contently.

I gently untied her high braid, letting her black, silky hair flow down. I could smell its scent... I frowned when I saw a small scratch on her pale cheek.

That crazy lunatic alchemist! We told her to _train_ her, not slaughter her! Miyuki was able to transmute, even if only once, she _did_ perform alchemy. Yet that woman pushes her to no end. I placed the silver katana on the coffee table after examining it. It was very similar to Kuchiki Rukia's Shikai if I remember correctly- the whole katana had the same colour- a metallic white. But what surprised me was that the blade had no scrapes...not a single one. It was a perfectly smooth, flawless blade. Even after all the abuse it received.

But I must admit that it was strange that she hasn't been able to use alchemy since then.

I looked down at her and studied her profile again, which made me feel very annoyed towards myself because I've been doing this very often lately- the clothes she's been ordered to wear by Flamel wasn't really helping. My eyes were trailing her body, landing on her chest. I blushed. I wasn't used to not seeing her in a kimono, which normally hides a lot of a woman's figure. My eyes trailed down her body, past her hips and halted at uhm... 'that' place. I widen my eyes when I felt a hard pulse in an area which never caused me any trouble before. It throbbed harder when she shifted in my arms.

I blushed furiously before quickly standing up and rushing to her room, setting her down in her bed. I then more or less ran out of the room, and shut the door behind me. I slid down to the ground on my backside, my back leaning on the door. My eyes were wide with shock as I simply stared ahead at one of the office walls. What...just...happened...? Did I just have a....because I ....so that means that....I...? I shook my head hastily, dammit, you've got to be joking with me!

I tried to calm myself down, both physically and mentally, reminding myself not to ever look at her...'place' again.

For some reason I remembered the chat I had with Hinamori when she visited me after her mission.

_After Miyuki slid her door closed, I turned to Hinamori to see that she had a bright smile on her face, a bright smile which I found very intimidating. _

_''Hina...mori?'' I didn't like that look __**one bit**__. Her grin widened._

_''Shiro-chan, how could you not tell me about your new-found love life?'' she asked, I blushed furiously and looked away._

_''First, I don't know what you're talking about, second, quit it with the 'Shiro-chan'!'' She then looked up in a pondering manner, tapping her chin with a finger._

_''Hmm...if denying that fact was even _more_ important to you than correcting your nickname, then you must be in pretty deep, huh?'' she said, then looked at me again with that look of hers. I gulped._

_''You can't prove it...'' I said as I crossed my arms, though I wasn't looking at her I could sense her grin quite clearly._

_''Ohh, yes I can, Hitsugaya-taichou!'' She seemed confident about her theory...enough to call me by the title I always demanded her to address me with. That caused me a bit of worry._

_''The way you look at her, the way you smile at her...'' she said with glee. I eyed her grumpily._

_''Not to mention that you call her my her first name AND let her call you Toshiro without complaint..chotto matte! She's the __**only **__one who you allow to call you that excluding obaa-chan!'' I snapped my head to face her with an annoyed glare, only to see a look of genuine kindness from her._

_''Most important of all, Hitsugaya-kun, she can make you laugh,'' she said, I met her genuine expression with raised eyebrows. ''She can make you happy.'' I widen my eyes slightly when I realised that what she said wasn't...wrong..._

_I blinked at her and my blush faded before I turned away and brushed it off with a ''Hn.'' I tilted my head to the side when I heard the shower going on in Miyuki's room._

_''I'm right, aren't I, Hitsugaya-kun?'' she asked, smiling brightly. Practically radiating like the sun. I didn't answer, which was apparently enough for her. ''You love her!'' _

_I nearly fell off my chair._

_''N-N-N-Nani-?'' I looked at her, perplexed, after I had regained my balance on my chair. My face now glowing like a red light bulb, she giggled. _

_''You do! Oh my gosh, how wonderful! And here I thought you would never hit puberty...'' She didn't see the annoyed, flustered glare I shot her. _

_''Hinamori...'' I said with a warning tone, my eyes twitching._

_''I never thought you would fall for anyone for another few hundred years! What a relief!''_

_''Hinamori...!'' I said louder than before, I could feel veins pulsing on my head._

_''You know, you were so uninterested in girls there was a time I thought you were gay!'' I could feel my fist shaking with an angry smirk plastered on my face. My eyes were closed and twitching when I tilted my head down slightly._

_''Hinamori!'' We paused; both of us had heard the water from the shower stopping. She looked at me with raised eyebrows, as if she was expecting me to do something. After a few moments, I blinked at her._

_''What?'' _

_''Ano...don't you want to go peek at Higurashi-chan now?'' My eyes were wider than dinner plates and my red face went into a deeper shade with each second, my mouth agape. I had images of Miyuki naked in my mind and shook my head violently in hopes to get rid of them._

_''URUSEI, HINAMORI!!!'' I yelled, embarrassed. _

_''You're blushing, Shiro-chan, blushing!'' She laughed._

_''Will you quit calling me that?!'' _

_We spent the rest of her visit with her laughing and me telling her to shut up._

I sighed wearily as I ran a hand through my hair.

''So annoying...'' I muttered under my breath. And because of that, Hinamori kept on taking Miyuki with her to the safe districts of Rukongai. And to my horror they became close friends.

Come to think of it, don't they have plans for that tomorrow?

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

''Sugooiiiiii!'' I said in awe when I tasted a peach dumpling that Hinamori made. We were in the 5th division kitchen, which I never knew even existed, and we were making some sweets for Toshiro's and Hinamori's grandmother. Hinamori was going to visit her today and she wanted to take me with her. I was more than happy to accept. The brunette smiled brightly.

''Really?'' she asked, I nodded eagerly and gave her a smile as bright as hers.

''Ichiban desu~!'' I said dreamily as I took another bite of the fresh dumpling. Ah, bliss. ''I wish I could cook as well as you can, Hinamori-chan. When I try to make food, it always ends up as toxic waste!'' She laughed at my statement as she rubbed some sweet red bean paste off her cheek.

''You're so funny, Higurashi-chan!'' she said. I glanced at her.

''I'm serious.'' My expression matched my words and she blinked at me. After a few seconds we laughed at the fake tension.

''Then I'll have to teach you how to cook well for my little Shiro-chan!'' she said and started packing the little, pinkish sweets in a package. I looked up the taller girl in mild astonishment.

''Why would I need to cook for Toshiro?'' I could feel my face warming when she gave me a cheeky look.

''Do you think I'm that dense, Higurashi-chan?'' She put the package in a bag and I reach for a clean towel to give her. She took it and started cleaning her face with it.

''You're hopelessly in love with Hitsugaya-kun!''

I nearly fell over. What is it with all the girls being so damn perceptive!?

''Hinamori-chan-!'' I was interrupted by the door opening and revealing the Taichou of the 5th Division, Aizen Sousuke. We both were surprised to see him, well, Hinamori was happily surprised and I was surprised.

''Yo, futaritomo,'' he said as he stepped into the kitchen.

''Aizen-taichou!'' Hinamori said, smiling. I had panic in my eyes when I saw her dropping the bag of dumplings as she fell into her trance. But luckily I had grabbed the bag just in time before it made contact to the ground. I sighed in relief and she blushed in embarrassment before taking the bag again, muttering apologies non-stop. I chuckled at her cute reaction and waved it off. She really reminded me of Sakiko, one of my closest friends who visited me when I was in hospital...

''Seems as though you two are having fun, Hinamori-kun.'' I was jerked out of my thoughts by the Taichou, who walked over to us and peeked into Hinamori's bag. ''For your grandmother?'' Hinamori nodded, blushing a bit. I arched a brow at her and smiled. Who was the one hopelessly in love?

''I'm sure that she'll be very happy when she gets them. Maybe you could make some for me one day as well?'' he asked, her blush became darker and her eyes showed amazement.

''Hai!''

I couldn't help but smile fondly at Hinamori's expression. But that cheerful feeling soon faded when my sight laid on Aizen.

I don't like the captain. He reminded me so much of the man who lured me to my capture. I shook my head. That would make no sense; he's a _shinigami_ and has been one for at least a few hundred years. It's impossible for them to be the same man- he not a living human.

Everything would speak against it, except for the fact that there are things called gigai. Great. More factors. But it _still_ wouldn't make sense. I checked the records as well as asking a few people and he hasn't left Seireitei the last couple of decades.

There, mystery solved. I didn't even see the kidnapper's face and since I was a five at the time, my memory could've been weary.

´You've got a _photo_-graphic memory, you dimwit.` I could feel my eye twitching when I heard that voice again. It's been going on and off more often lately, and, call me crazy, I sometimes answer back.

`Extreme events can lead to the brain rejecting the memories to avoid post trauma.´ I'm having a debate with myself. That does it, I'm officially insane.

´Reject, yes, but not causing them to be hazy. Admit it, you just don't want to suspect him because of the girl.` My eyes automatically turned to gaze at the happy, blushing fukutaichou. That's right. I don't want to suspect Aizen because I don't wish for him to be a bad person, for Hinamori's sake.

----------------

We were walking down the street which really resembled a village of the edo period. The people all wore old fashioned clothes, there were huts instead of houses, and the culture was also different from modern people. But it was amazing in my opinion. The movies and museums are nothing compared to this experience. This was, needless to say, the 1st District of West Rukongai.

I was walking next to Hinamori, who held the bag in her hands. I could even hear her humming to herself and I just couldn't resist the opportunity.

''Aizen Momo...hmm, has a nice ring to it...'' I said loud enough for her to hear on purpose. She froze on the spot and turned to me with a flabbergasted, blushing expression. She looked at me as if I had grown a second head and if steam could blow out of your ears, she could compete with a steam locomotive.

''H-H-H-Higurshi-chan! That's-! But it's-!'' She couldn't form proper sentences. And I continued my chastisement by giving her a smirk. Yes, I know I'm evil.

''Yes? Have anything to add? Please, do tell.''

''Higurashi-chan!!!'' She threw her hands up and my eyes were wide when I saw the bag being airborne again. I ran past her while she was ranting and saved the dumplings from the consequences of gravity for the second time of the day. Hinamori gasped and sped up towards me.

''Oh gosh! I really need to pay more attention to it,'' she said. I grunted when I felt soreness in my arms and legs. My hand rubbed one of my thighs in hopes of soothing the dull pain a bit. Dammit, even running is painful now.

''What's the matter, Miyuki-chan?'' she asked, I waved her off.

''Flamel-sensei's teaching. I'm not the fittest person, so training like this isn't easy for me,'' I said and looked up at the fukutaichou before I started walking ahead again. She came up beside me and I decided to hold the paper bag for now.

''How's your progress?'' she asked with a hopeful smile on her face.

''Nonexistent,'' was my flat answer. ''But more importantly, are you sure it's okay to be having a day off in Rukongai when there's a _war martial_?''

''Eto...Aizen-taichou permitted this visit and said that it was okay, so I'm sure that Aizen-taichou is right,'' she said. I sighed before smiling, I bet Aizen was God in her world, how cute.

''Souka? Yokatta na,'' I said, ''Ne, Hinamori-chan, I know that Toshiro can't come because he's a Taichou, but he doesn't visit his grandmother even in peace times, does he? Why's that?'' I could see the sad glint in her eyes before she turned her head to face a large hut in a suburb. I turned to look at it after I realized that she was staring at the building, was this the house?

''...I don't know...'' Though her words were faint, I could hear them. My face tensed when I saw an old woman through an open window in the house and Hinamori also saw her. ''I really don't know...''

With that, she made her way towards the building.

A part of me was excicted to see the woman who raised and was loved by Toshiro.

After a moment of staring at Hinamori's back, I followed her.

Another part of me was confused by Hinamori's words.

We soon walked past the suburb gates and into the sighted house. There in the living room sat an old woman with her hair tied up in a bun. She had a very kind smile and friendly expression- Just as Toshiro told me. Hinamori paced over to her and they greeted each other happily. I just stood there, lost in my thoughts.

Now that I think about it...I never even met my grandmother. I don't know what she looks like, I don't even know her name. Is she dead or alive? That answer is also unknown to me.

In fact, I don't know anything about my family outside my mother, my father and I. The government couldn't find any records and I was too young to be told of anything important by my parents.

''This is Higurashi Miyuki-chan, a good friend of mine. I brought her along because she wanted to meet you.'' My thoughts were interrupted when I heard my name being said by Hinamori. I looked up and saw that the two were looking at me, smiling.

''Such a precious dear. I'm so happy that someone would like to see an old granny like me,'' the grandmother said. I smiled warmly and bowed in respect.

''Higurashi Miyuki des. Hajime mashte.''

-------------------

**Love it? Hate it? Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**Glossary for the Japanese words:**

_**Shinpai suruna- don't worry**_

_**renkinjutsu- alchemy**_

_**omoshiroi, konno musume- interesting, this girl**_

_**taskete kureta, argitato na,- thanks for saving me**_

_**chotto matte- hang on a minute**_

_**sugoi- amazing**_

_**ichiban desu- the best**_

_**yo, futaritomo- howdy, you two.**_

_**hajime mashte- nice to meet you**_

**And again! REVIEW!!! I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!! AND YES, I KNOW I LOVE A LOT!!! **


	6. The Dawn of Tragedies

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! Thank you soooo much for all your reviews, they really made me work hard! 100 reviews! I can hardly believe it!!! XDDDD**

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH. HOWEVER, I **_**DO**_** OWN MIYUKI HIGURASHI, NICOLE FLAMEL AND THE IDEA OF INTERNATIONAL SOUL SOCIETIES.**

-xXx-

**The Dawn of Tragedies**

_**When Tragedy strikes, it's hard to understand the impact it can have on everyone.**_

-xXx-

I was sitting in a traditional, Japanese living room along with Hinamori and her grandmother. It was a very pleasant room- but I also noticed that it was quite empty. There was a drawer there...and a pot there...nothing much. My eyes zoomed to a corner of the chamber. I could see a thin layer of dust, and the same with the drawer. But for an old lady taking care of a big house like this all by herself, it was very clean. I gazed at Hinamori and Oba-san chatting along happily, but the fukutaichou always avoided the worrying subjects. Like the Ryoka, the war order... I still find it strange that we can even be here at a time like this, but I'm not a ranked officer, so it's best for me not to assume.

''Higurashi-chan? Is something wrong?'' I blinked when I realized that Hinamori was calling me. I gave them an apologetic smile.

''Ah, gomen! I was just admiring your house.'' I let my eyes wonder around the room again. A smile crossed my lips, because this was the house Toshiro grew up in...

...Aw, crap, now I sound like an obsessed fangirl.

''Domo,'' Oba-san said as she looked around aswell. ''This place holds many memories.'' I raised my eyebrows when I looked at the elder and took another bite out of Hinamori's (delicious) peach dumplings.

''Memories?'' I asked after I swallowed. She smiled slightly before opening her mouth to speak.

''This is where I raised my two grandchildren,'' she said, ''It's as if it was only yesterday when he told me that he was enrolling in the academy... How the decades fly by.'' I could hear the sad tone in her voice and wondered if I mentioned something I shouldn't.

''Neeeee, Oba-chan! I've got great news!'' Hinamori announced with glee. Oh no, I know that look, that's the look she always gives when she's about to...

''Shiro-chan is in love with Higurashi-chan!''

...dammit.

My face was flaming bright red. ''Chigau! There's nothing between us, Hinamori-chan, you know that!!!'' She smiled. Not good.

''I wonder...'' she said. But to my horror I saw Oba-san with the same grin. Ah, that explains it, so _she_ was the one who taught Hinamori to be so evil.

''Oh my! Love! My little boy has finally grown up! Soon I'll be a happy great-grandmother!'' By now I didn't know if my face could get any redder, I wouldn't be surprised if it was glowing.

''Are you even listening to me!?'' I asked, praying for an earthquake. I'm getting taunted by a grandmother, a _grandmother_! From now on, I promised myself, I would write down denials everyday and learn them by heart.

''Mo-chan!''

I turned my head to face the entrance and saw a girl with short, dark hair standing there with a big smile. Who's this?

''A-chan!''

I jumped to the side when Hinamori's voice boomed through my ears. When she stood up and rush to the stranger, realization dawned on me. She must be a childhood friend. After their giggles and chatting they turned to us and Hinamori pointed at me.

''This is a friend of mine, Higurashi-chan!'' I waved slightly with a weary smile.

''Domo,'' I said and the girl smiled at me.

''Ayumi desu!''

I was flabbergasted at the speed their talking to each other, and could barely understand them- to the point where I didn't know that they wanted to go out until they actually walked out the door.

There sure are amazing people in the world, aren't there?

I turned to Oba-san with a smile on my face. Though I admit that it felt a bit awkward to be here without the fukutaichou. ''Hinamori-chan never failed to charm people, ne?'' I asked, she nodded.

''She's always been liked by everyone. She's a good child,'' she said, ''And even though Toshiro is one, too, he always had trouble making friends.'' She turned to face me with curious eyes. ''Momo always tells me that he's fine, but that boy has always been good at lying to her. And she has another goal to look out for...so I just want to know from you...Is my Toshiro alright?'' I blinked at her, trying to find the best way of phrasing the answer.

''Toshiro's fine! He's a respected Taichou in the Gotei Jyuusan, has good subordinates and comrades,'' I said, smiling.

''Souka...Yokatta...'' she said with relief. ''Is...is he fitting in?''

''...He...He doesn't have a lot of friends.'' She twitched at that. ''But enough for that guy to be happy.'' I closed my eyes to support my smile for her. ''He's doing very well, Oba-san.'' But when I heard sniffles from the woman, my smile turned to a frown and I started to panic.

''Oba-san? Daijobou desu?'' I asked, leaning towards her. But I noticed that she wasn't crying tears of sadness when a smile crossed her lips.

''Yokatta...hounto ni yokatta...''

For her to have been so worried...

...Toshiro must've had it very tough.

-----------------------

''Higurashi-chan, you're spacing out again!''

I shook my head and looked up at Hinamori, giving her the hundredth apology of the day. My mind's been coming and going during our return to the gotei grounds. For some reason that old woman's sobs kept echoing in my head.

''Gomen, gomen! I was just thinking!''

''About what? Did Oba-chan say something that interesting?'' she asked when she arched a thick eyebrow at me. I laughed nervously and waved her off.

''No, no! It's just silly me being stupid me.''

We said our goodbyes and I was about to walk towards the 10th Division, but Hinamori gave me a light hug before I turned around. Needless to say I was caught off guard.

''Thank you for coming, Higurashi-chan...I don't know what you said to Oba-chan, but she's a lot happier now. Really...thank you so much.''

I gave her a light pat on her back. ''Baka, you don't need to thank me...I didn't do anything.''

After that, I was walking down the hall to the 10th Division's office, where Toshiro always was. I saw him standing by the door, his arms crossed in his sleeves and leaning on the door frame. He looked up when he saw me approaching and stood properly, letting his arms fall to his side.

''You're late.'' Was all he said. I groaned, here we go again...

''It's nearly ten past six! I told you that you have to back by six at the latest!'' he ranted, not stopping even after I just walked past him and into the office. Instead, he followed me so that I could hear everything even louder. I groaned again. ''When I say you're supposed to be back at a certain time, then you must be back by then! It could get dark outside, and you could get lost and-'' I cut him off when I ran a hand through my hair.

''I'm sorry, okay? We lost track of time.'' He didn't like that answer and just glared.

''What if something happened to you!? How would I know!?''

''...You're deducing this from being ten minutes late?''

''A tenth of a second can make a difference between life and death!''

''It's not like I'm going for a battle!'' Irritation was rising in my voice.

''Miyuki! There's a WAR MARTIAL!!! The ryoka are THAT dangerous! Even if Hinamori's a fukutaichou- she might not be able to protect you!'' I raised my eyebrows at that and smirked.

''Ah, Souka. I didn't know that you care about me _that_ much, Toshiro,'' I said. His face was red, though I didn't know if it was from embarrassment or from anger. I dismissed it as a blush and walked around him, my mind became clouded with what Oba-san said again; I was ignoring everything else.

''It's always like this with you! When I talk about something important, you deflect it with your teasing!'' Though I could hear his voice, I wasn't really paying attention to it. I knew that he was talking, but I didn't know what he said. I was just...completely blocking him out. That's always been something I was good at...because when you're in a cell with thin walls, you hear so many screams of agony you have to block them all out.

''Oh...'' I leaned my hips against the back of the couch and crossed my arms to think. A neutral answer will do...but because I was distracted, I didn't see the furious expression on his face. Even my back was towards him.

''TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, DAMMIT!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!''

_''Yokatta...Hounto ni yokatta...''_ Only Oba-chan's words were audible for me. I didn't even see or hear Matsumoto opening the door, right before Toshiro's outburst. That I definitely heard well.

''YOU KNOW WHAT?! IF YOU DON'T NEED ME ANYMORE, THEN SAY IT! SEE IF I CARE!'' Right after that yell there was a loud slam from the slide door. I flinched and snapped my head to look at the closed office entrance with wide eyes. And Toshiro...was no where to be seen.

''Miyuki-chan!'' I looked up at the inhumanly breasted woman who seemed confused. ''What did you say to him?! He looked so upset...'' I was cursing myself when I heard that. I didn't even _look_ at him. My arms fell limb on on my side as I turned my head to face another direction.

''I think I...went too far this time, but I really don't know why he's **that **angry...'' I said and heard her sigh. This made me confused and caused me to look up at her.

''I understand now...so that was it...'' she said in a distant voice, this only made my confusion even worse.

''So that was what?'' I asked and she shook her head. The shinigami turned me around and shoved me to the door.

''Nothing. Just go after Taichou and say that it's not true.''

''Huh?''

''You need Taichou, right?'' I blushed at her question. And as soon as I opened my mouth to retort, she covered her hand over it, effectively silencing me. ''Miyuki-chan, I'm not teasing you and I'm not mocking you. I know that you love Taichou. Don't hurt him by letting him believe something that isn't true.'' I was astonished by her words and her expression. I have never, _ever_ seen her so serious. But what shocked me more than anything else was the content of her sentence.

Rangiku removed her hand from my face and continued to push me towards the door. ''Now you go after Taichou! Right now!'' She had such authority in her voice that it was getting scary.

''H-Hai!'' Was my meek answer.

---------

I knew that he'd be there.

Even mad, Toshiro can be so predictable sometimes. He was sitting under the tree in the 10th Division garden, exactly on the same spot when the time we looked at the half moon together that night. I walked over to him and he obviously knew I was there long ago. He always does.

''Hey...'' I said softly, but he looked away when I got closer.

''Go away.'' His response didn't surprise me and I sat down next to him.

''I don't want to,'' I said and pulled my legs close to me.

''I said go away!'' Frustration was obvious in his voice, still I wasn't intimidated. But I was...I was sad. I knew that I really upset him this time.

''Toshiro, I'm...I'm sorry.'' My heart pounded faster when he turned his head to face me, even if it did had that frown. ''I was horrible for treating you like that when you were only worried...'' His eyes bored into mine for a few moments before he opened his mouth to speak.

''Is that all?'' he asked, making me mildly surprised. He noticed my confusion and looked away. ''...Forget it.'' I could hear disappointment in his voice, and smiled typically at him. I felt him twitch when I wrapped my arms around his waist under his arms, which he raised out of reflex. I snuggled my face in his chest and smiled, knowing that I was blushing.

''Wha- ah...huh?'' I giggled at his stuttering and looked up at his flustered, flabbergasted face. I rested my cheek against his chest again and smiled. ''What the hell, Miyuki?!''

''I'm showing you that I need you. Happy?'' I asked, and hugged him tighter. ''Besides, I had the impression you were about to walk off.''

''I was,'' he said flatly, but I could still hear his stuttering. ''And I can still get out of this, you know. I'm a lot stronger than you.''

''Oi, oi. I just told you that I need you and don't want you to leave- and _that's_ your response? How ungentlemanly.''

''And you're uncute.''

''That's because I'm unique.''

''You mean weird.''

''Weird means different, and different means unique. But that's off topic. The point is that you're not allowed to leave me alone. _All_ your opinions are _rejected_.'' I gasped silently when I felt two loose arms wrapping around me. I have hugged this guy on countless occasions, and he'd always just give a retort. There was the time when I told him about subject 00...but that's another thing. That he was actually returning the gesture in a light-hearted atmosphere like this was ...unbelievable. I actually had to look to my side to confirm that they _were_ his arms.

''What? You're asking me to put up with you until the end of eternity?'' he teased. I smiled brightly that his voice wasn't so bitter towards me anymore. So...am I forgiven?

''Hey, I'm not too happy with the idea myself,'' I said, ''You're one heck of a difficult person to cope with.''

''You were the one who suggested it in the first place, bakayarou.'' The corner of my lips curled when I felt his arms pulling me closer. I sighed wearily and snuggled my cheek in his chest again.

''Yeah, I know. And I don't regret doing that,'' I said, but my heart skipped a beat when I heard that one word leaving his lips.

''...Good...''

**-:-:-:-:-:-**

10th Division Fukutaichou was watching her Taichou and Miyuki from a window of the 10th Division building. She smiled at the youngsters when a memory flashed through her mind.

_''Don't...Don't leave me alone...'' Miyuki mumbled as she frowned in her sleep. She was obviously having a nightmare and her iron grip on the prodigy's arm never wavered. ''I...need you...''_

_That was when the fukutaichou saw that unfamiliar glint flickering in those turquoise iris._

''That look in your eyes, Taichou...'' she said quietly to herself, ''Was the happiness for being needed.''

He was always there for his friends. He always helped them whenever he could.

But in all honesty...his presence was never _needed_ to anyone.

Until that moment.

The strawberry blonde turned around, showing a camera in her hands. No matter how 'lovely' their development is, she just couldn't resist. An evil grin crossed her lips.

''This is blackmailing heaven.''

**-:-:-:-:-:-**

Darkness.

That was all there was.

And I was alone in it.

That's when _she_ appeared before me.

I looked at her with wide eyes. In shock, in confusion, in disbelief.

Because standing in front of me was a girl who was my spitting image. A smirk graced her pale face as confidence flickered in her dark, emerald eyes.

'Nice to meet you, my other me.'

Her words echoed in this darkness.

-----------------------------

I was walking towards the east side of Seireitei, trying to find Flamel- its 9am now for Pete's sake- Normally she has me up by dawn! She said something about the meeting being late, though. But the reason why I was ticked off was because I woke up at the crack of dawn just to be ready for that woman!

Toshiro said that he would come out to 'escort' me to find my teacher, but I really don't want to be there when they cross each other's paths again. If sparks could crackle between two glares, then they would've created a natural disaster, _easily_.

I looked down towards the ground over the fence around the wooden path. Sure is a long way down there... I remembered when I threw a coin down, the sound of it hitting the ground didn't reach my ears until about three minutes later. I gulped and quickly returned to my search.

That dream bothered me non-stop. The girl looked more or less exactly like me. There were a few differences, but I don't remember where. The only thing I could was that she had the same dark shade of eyes I had in emerald colour.

She also said that she was 'my other me' and used a very masculine term for her words. She also had such a rough edge in her voice...or should I say _my_ voice. I was definitely sure that it was the same one which I heard before I transmuted for the first time. I was sure.

I looked down at the silver katana which was secured around my red ribbon-belt. Maybe it was all just a dream?

Or was it something more significant...?

''NOOOOOOOOOO!'' I widened my eyes at that voice, it came from the east wall. Hinamori-chan? I ran ahead and saw Hinamori standing there, looking up in horror in the open grounds. The floors were slightly demolished, though I don't think that was the reason why she was so horrified. I ran next to her, starting to panic.

''Hinamori-chan, what-'' I instantly lost my voice when I looked at what she was cowering at.

Aizen-taichou of the 5th Division...was stabbed by his own zanpakto, pinned to a tower, his blood trailed down in a long, crimson streak. Upon the white tower, it was like this was a ritual killing.

''W-What the...?'' I said in shock. My breath was shaking and I was trembling.

My own eyes were wide with disbelief. Aizen-taichou...a _captain_...was murdered...? But I...I saw him yesterday...and now...he's...what in the name of...?

''Hinamori-kun!''

I turned my head to see Kira-fukutaichou, Iba-fukutaichou, Hisagi-fukutaichou and Rangiku running towards us. Rangiku rushed to my side and held both my shoulders, looking at me with a worried expression. My pale face was now practically white.

''Miyuki-chan?! What happened, Miyuki-chan?!'' she asked, shaking me, panicked, trying to snap me out of it. I couldn't find the words to speak, and pointed a shaking finger towards the corpse of the dead taichou. She followed my hand and widened her eyes in shock at the scene and gasped. ''Aizen-taichou...'' she trailed, the other three fukutaichou also were in disbelief.

''B-Baka na...'' Kira was lost for words.

I turned to see Hinamori weakly staggering a few steps towards the body, her eyes were hollow, not knowing what to do in such a situation.

''Aizen-taichou...'' Tears welled up in her coffee orbs. I frowned sadly; she had told me how much she loved Aizen from the very beginning...and how hard she had worked to become his Fukutaichou...And this..._this_ is the result?

''Iie desu...'' she whispered, ''Iie...'' A tear slid down her cheek. She lifted her hands slightly, as if wanting to reach him, but knew it was impossible as she yelled out in despair.

''AIZEN-TAICHOU!!!'' She fell to her knees and whimpered. I gently broke away from Rangiku's grasp and ran to Hinamori's side, kneeling down next to her.

''Momo...'' I used her given name for the first time. She looked up at me with pain stricken eyes, and wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest, crying. Loud and hard. All those efforts over the decades, all those memories, those feelings...she was crying for them.

''Oh, Momo...'' I said with a shaking voice as I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and placed one hand on the back of her head, stroking it comfortingly. Self-hatred engulfed me for being unable to do anything else, anything _useful_. I knew the feeling of losing someone dear. Whether it's family, friend or someone you admire, its love nevertheless.

That's what you would normally think, but I've never lost a lover. Is it different from losing your parents? Is it the same? I don't know. That's why I have no right to say that I understand her. I have no right to say that I knew how she felt.

I could only imagine what I would do if Toshiro...

My cheek rested on her head and I heard her sobs dying, but her tears were flowing down like rivers. A deep frown crossed my face and I was holding in the urge to cry myself.

''What's all this ruckus early in the mornin'?''

My eyes snapped open at that voice, I also felt Momo twitch in my arms, and sure enough, I looked up to see the foxed faced taichou, his grin unfazed, even at a time like this. That bastard...

''Oiya, this here is a serious incident, neh?'' I released Momo and stood in front of her in hopes of preventing her from seeing his sadistic expression.

''Ichimaru-taichou, this isn't a laughing matter,'' I said, narrowing my eyes. I remembered Toshiro's words.

_''Be careful around Ichimaru...''_

I felt Momo standing up next to me, a gust of wind blew by us... and it was as if that gust just blew the cap off her bottle of emotions.

_''I've got a very bad feeling about him.''_

''OMAI KA?! (was it you)'' she yelled in hatred, and dashed towards Ichimaru with a roar, her hand on the hilt of her sword. The tears in her eyes trailing in the air as she ran. She drew her sword, about to strike the taichou of the 3rd Division.

I saw the look on Ichimaru's face, he showed no fear whatsoever...his confidence of defeating her without breaking a sweat was obvious, she wouldn't stand a chance against him.

''Momo, please, stop!'' I said, but then Kira blocked her sword with his own. Ichimaru widened the corner of his smirk slightly at the loyalty of his fukutaichou.

''Kira-kun...Doshite...?'' Momo asked.

''I'm the fukutaichou of the 3rd Squad,'' Kira answered, ''No matter what the reason, I won't permit anyone to point a sword at the taichou.''

Momo glared at him, and Ichimaru turned to leave, the 5th Division fukutaichou widened her eyes and tried to bypass Kira, only to be blocked by him again, who shook his head to tell her 'let it go'. I ran over to them, wanting to break the fight up, but not really knowing what to do.

''I'm begging you, get out of the way, Kira-kun.''

''I can't do that.'' Momo glared harder.

''Move!'' I couldn't believe it when I heard the insanity of her voice. ''Move!!!''

''STOP!'' I clapped my hands and smacked them against the ground, soon wooden roods wrapped around her and held her in place firmly. She struggled ferociously, glaring daggers at me. I widened my eyes at my own hands. Did I just...?

'You didn't, I did.' I twitched when I heard that voice again.

''WHY, MIYUKI-KUN, WHY?!'' I snapped out of my shock, discarding my thoughts for later and looked at Momo with sympathy in my eyes.

''Please, Momo, calm down, you won't change anything by-'' I was cut off by her.

''SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT THE HELL UP! LET ME GO, RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'LL BECOME MY ENEMY,TOO, HIGURASHI MIYUKI!'' she yelled, trashing around.

''Momo! Listen to me! You've got to calm down!!!'' I pleaded.

''DON'T YOU HEAR ME TELLING YOU TO LET GO OF ME?!''

''AND DON'T YOU HEAR ME TELLING YOU TO CALM DOWN?!'' I yelled back. ''Shouldn't we take Aizen-taichou down from there?'' I frowned and her glare became fiercer.

''DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO!'' she yelled and she released her Zanpakto.

''Watch out, Higurashi-sama!'' Kira yelled.

''Hajike, Tobiume!!'' Her Tobiume's release caused an explosion and I jumped back along with Kira, but I landed on my knees. Ichimaru still kept walking away with that smirk on his face, and the other fukutaichou shielded themselves from the debris.

''Miyuki-chan!'' I heard Rangiku's worried call. Dammit, Momo's fit is starting to get out of hand...

When the dust cleared I saw that the roods I used to bind her were completely destroyed, along with the floor she stood on a few moments ago. She was panting, her eyes still glowing with rage. This...this isn't Momo...this isn't the Momo I knew.

''Momo!'' I then noticed that my left shoulder had a small gash in it. I covered it with my right hand, wincing slightly. When did I...?

''Stand back, Higurashi-sama, I don't wish for you to come to any harm,'' Kira said without looking down at me. His eyes never flickered from the emotionally shaken fukutaichou.

''Releasing your Zanpakto in a place like this and harming a valued guest in the process...'' Kira said as he narrowed his eyes at Momo, ''How irresponsible! Don't you even realize what you're doing?! Don't confuse private matters with public ones, Hinamori-fukutaichou!'' I widened my eyes at that title he gave her. He's creating an emotional distance between them so that he can...be ready to fight.

Momo then swung her sword which had a pink aura surrounding it, and a kidou spell went flying towards Kira and I. Luckily, it missed, but it hit another building instead of her original target, Ichimaru. The power of the attack astonished me, I had no idea that Momo was capable of that. Cement crumbled down from where she hit. As I saw the white, stone-like material fall, I couldn't help but feel that my hopes for this to end quietly crashing down along with it.

''I see,'' Kira said, ''In that case, I have no choice.'' He readied his zanpakto. ''I will treat you as an enemy.'' I looked up at him from my kneeling position with a desperate glint in my eyes.

''No, wait, please! I know that Hinamori-fukutaichou has crossed the line, but please don't go that far!'' I pleaded, but deep down, just by looking in his eyes, I already knew what his answer was.

''I have to...it's my duty,'' he said. ''Omote o agero, Wabisuke.'' An aura engulfed his Zanpakto before it lost its curve and gained a square-shaped head that resembled a hook.

I turned to look at Ichimaru who just stood there and glared at his back.

''Ichimaru! If you really have nothing to do with this, then SAY SO!'' I yelled, ignoring the fact that he was a captain, and I had no right to speak to him with such disrespect. Kira and Momo dashed towards each other, both seriously going for it this time. ''IT'S YOUR GODDAMN ATTITUDE WHICH MADE IT GO THIS FAR!''

But both swords were blocked by Toshiro, who had used shunpo to get between them. His Hyourinmaru was blocking Kira's blade, and his foot was stepping down on Momo's Tobiume. He was leering Momo with narrowed eyes.

''Don't either of you move a muscle,'' Toshiro said with high authority in his voice, making the brunette flinch as she looked at her childhood friend.

''Hitsugaya-kun...'' He ignored her and turned to me, I saw him narrowing his eyes at the blood seeping through my black gloved hand, which was clutching the wound on my shoulder.

''T-Toshiro...'' I've never seen him so serious for a long time now. Though he'd always put on that captain demeanour when he's in a meeting, it would still be just a simple facade.

But this time it was earnest seriousness to the very core. ''Arrest them both,'' he said. Rangiku and Iba grabbed Momo, each holding one arm of the 5th fukutaichou.

''Hitsugaya-kun!'' she said again, Hisagi had grabbed Kira by the arms. Toshiro looked at Momo, frowning in disappointment.

''Hinamori! Is this the time to be fighting each other with swords?! Shouldn't our first priority be taking Aizen-taichou down from there?'' Momo's face showed regret. I knew that she was reminded of what I said earlier, that was confirmed when she turned to me with guilt-ridden eyes.

''I'll make a report to the Soutaichou,'' Toshiro said. ''Put these two in detention. Take 'em away.''

I followed Momo and Rangiku, wanting to be there for Momo, even if she was too guilty to face me at the moment, I just wanted to be with her. We walked passed Ichimaru, whose smirk was as broad as ever. I glared at him and I could feel Momo's glare towards the fox face.

Dammit, did I want to rip that smirk off him!

''Daijobou-ka, Miyuki-chan? Sonno Kizu...'' Rangiku looked at me with worried, ice blue eyes. I looked up at her and my mouth was pressed in a thin line, telling her that if it weren't for the given situation, I would've smiled for her.

''Daijobou, shinpai suruna, Rangiku-chan.''

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

''Gomen na, Jyuu bantai Taichou-san.'' I heard Ichimaru, but I didn't turn to face him. ''To make ya waste on one o' mine.''

''Ichimaru...'' I said, still not turning, ''You...were about to kill Hinamori.'' A breeze swept by us.

''I'm afraid ya mistaken'd,'' he said, I could hear his grin in that voice of his. I ignored him, whether he was telling the truth or not, this he will know.

''I'll tell you this now:'' I said, ''Make Hinamori bleed,'' I turned to give him a scary, evil, ghost of a smirk. ''And I will kill you.''

''How scary.'' The mock in that phrase was obvious. ''But as I said- you're mistaken' d,'' his smirk widened, ''I never intended ta touch that young lass.'' I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion.

''It was th' beautiful Miyuki-sama who I wanted ta shut up...permanently. Such a cocky girl.'' I was shocked by what he said but gave him the deadliest glare I could muster; his smirk wavered for a split second at my expression.

''Ichimaru...'' I gritted my teeth, ''If you even DARE to harm a single hair on Miyuki...'' I said. The idea of him hurting her made me so furious that I wasn't sure what I was going to do if he does hurt...or even kills her.

''Oiya! You're much scarier now, Taichou-san!'' He grinned. ''I'll see for myself how precious that girl is to ya.''

''What do you mean?'' A snarl was heard in my voice. I didn't like the sound of this.

''Well, ya know what they say:'' His smirk became more intimidating, but I stayed unfazed. '' 'Ya neva know what ya have 'till ya loose it'.'' I couldn't help but feel horrified at that sentence. He turned to leave when a few officers arrived and I ordered the shocked shinigami to take Aizen down. Without wasting any more time I followed Miyuki's reiatsu.

I wouldn't be at the least surprised if Ichimaru was the one behind Aizen's death. If Ichimaru would seriously intend to kill Miyuki...

The image of her screaming in horror before a blade ran through her flashed through my mind.

I shook my head furiously as I continued following Miyuki's reiatsu, noticing that I was heading for the 5th Division, the Detention Cell.

My balled my hand to a tight fist. I won't let that bastard or anyone hurt so much as a hair on Miyuki! I'll personally torture that person to death in the most excruciating way possible!

I then widened my eyes when I remembered that Miyuki had a wound on her shoulder...most probably from Hinamori when she lost it. I frowned.

------

I soon got to the detention centre to see Miyuki discussing something with Matsumoto. I narrowed my eyes when I noticed that her wound was still left untreated. Blood was still seeping out a little bit.

''Miyuki!'' I called out in frustration, she twirled around to face me, and I was surprised by her expression. Her skin was paler than usual and she was sweating, her eyes still held horror within them.

That's right...Miyuki isn't used to seeing a comrade's corpse...but then again neither am I.

''Toshiro...'' she said, I came up before her and loomed over her slightly.

''Why haven't you gotten your wound treated yet, baka?!'' I glared at her and she narrowed her eyes at me in annoyance. I inwardly sighed in relief when I saw that spark in her eyes again.

''I was about to go and get a bandage for it, baka!'' she said, she never liked to be called names.

''A bandage isn't enough for that, baka! You need disinfectant, a healing antidote, salb-'' I was cut off by the black haired girl.

''It's just a scratch, it's not like I'm gonna die because of a little damn scratch, baka!'' I was half enjoying our argument, and half annoyed with her attitude towards her wound.

''Don't make me drag you to the 4th Division...'' I said, she crossed her arms and looked away with a 'hmpf', closing her eyes with her nose up in the air.

''You can't make me.''

''I out-rank you,'' I said, smirking.

''I'm not even ranked.'' She turned to face me and arched a brow.

''Exactly,'' I said, then turned to Matsumoto. ''Take her to the 4th Division to take care of that wound.'' She nodded in a gloomy and serious manner, and I don't blame her. I turned to Miyuki who sighed in defeat.

''So stubborn...'' she said, I scoffed before giving a small smirk.

''I'll come right after I've briefed the Soutaichou.'' She smiled weakly.

''Okay,'' she said, ''Be careful...'' I had to suppress the blush at the worry in her voice. ''...I beg of you, please be careful.''

''Don't worry, baka,'' I said somewhat fondly and laid a hand on her unwounded shoulder trying to assure her. ''You don't need to say it as if I were going to the battlefield,'' I joked. She gave me an apologetic smile before she looked over my shoulder. It was as if to make sure that my Zanpakto was ready to be drawn if necessary and she turned back to face me.

''You're too great to be defeated, right?'' she said, but she couldn't hide the worry on her face as she smiled.

------

_**Translations:**_

_**domo- thank you/hello**_

_**hounto ni yokatta- I'm really glad**_

_**Baka na- it can't be**_

_**Iie- no**_

_**doshite- why**_

_**hajike- snap**_

_**omote o agero- raise your head**_

_**sonno kizu- that wound  
shinpai suruna- don't worry**_

**Love it? hate it? review, review, REVIEW!!! I'll love you forever!!!**


	7. Best Chance

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! I'm so sorry that I was so late in updating! Anyway, more info at the end!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF THIS FANFICTION.**

-xXx-

**Best Chance**

_**The Reason why I want to spit out these grating Sentiments, is that I have no other proof that I even exist.**_

-xXx-

I was still suffering from the side-effects of shock and I still couldn't believe that someone with such a high rank of a taichou was... killed....

What scared me even more was that Aizen was, without a doubt, one of **the** most powerful Taichou in Seireitei. If the murderer turned his target towards Toshiro, then...

I shook my head. I didn't even want to think about it, but I couldn't keep the fears at bay.

A 4th Division member was bandaging my wound. Rangiku had to go check on Kira since she is the fukutaichou of the taichou who arrested them, it was her responsibility to make sure that they both arrived in their cells without any trouble.

''Miyuki.''

I tilted my head up to see Flamel standing by the door and had to blink a few times to make sure I was seeing things right. She looked horrible, her eyes were red as if she was crying a few minutes ago. Her expression was miserable and her face was nearly as pale as mine.

''Flamel...sensei...?'' I asked. The shinigami who was wrapping my wound bowed as he finished.

''Dozo,'' he said, I glanced at him.

''Arigato,'' I said before he went out the door. Flamel walked over to me and laid a hand on my head. My eyes were as wide as plates at her sudden display of affection.

''You're okay, I'm glad,'' she said. But judging from her tone, her mind was elsewhere. ''You were one of the first who found Sousuke's corpse, right?'' she asked. I nodded, her abnormally gentle hand on my head stayed in its place as I looked up at her. Her head was tilted forward, her bangs shielding her eyes from view.

''Did Sousuke...look like he was in pain...?'' she asked, trying her best not to tremble.

Why is she so upset about Aizen's death? She wasn't _that _close to him, was she?

''Gomen...but he was too high up for me to see.'' I heard her taking a deep breath as she slowly pulled her hand back and let it fall limb on her side.

''Sou...ka...''

´...What the hell came and killed her world?` I heard that voice again, but ignored it- however it did have a point.

''Flamel-sensei...what's the matter? Why are you so depressed?'' Worry was clear in my voice. She looked up at me and smiled, but it was empty and sad. I frowned. This was definitely not the teacher who trained me...I wasn't even sure who this was anymore.

''It's nothing.'' She turned around and walked towards the door.

''Ano, Flamel-sensei! I was able to do a transmutation without a circle again!'' I said, trying to cheer her up.

''Souka? I'm very pleased with you, Miyuki,'' she said with the same hollow voice as before. She didn't turn. ''Training is cancelled for today. I'll see you tomorrow.'' With that, she was gone.

Flamel worked very hard to help me perform alchemy, but what on earth was her connection to Aizen Sousuke? I asked myself over and over again, but no matter how much I mulled it over, I just couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer.

I walked down the hall of the 4th Division and heard a few whispers here and there.

''Did you hear about Aizen-taichou?''

''I did. Oh my God, what's going on?''

''They think that the ryoka were behind it. Unohana-taichou has just went to give Zaraki-taichou emergency treatment!''

''What?! You've gotta be kidding! Zaraki Kenpachi taichou was defeated by one of them?!''

''But Hanatarou, the 7th seat...if the rumours are true that he's with the ryoka, then...''

''Assuming that the ryoka were the ones who killed Aizen-taichou? Yeah, he's been lablled as a traitor.''

I stopped to listen to the group of gossiping division members.

''The leader is a shinigami with orange hair and a Zanpakto the size of his own body!''

''He said that he's going to free the death row in-mate, Rukia-dono, right?''

''To be honest, I feel really bad for her. I mean, she's so kind- she isn't someone who deserves to be executed!''

''You know that what the office of 46 says is absolute. We have no right to say anything against it. But I...I know what you mean.''

''Excuse me,'' I said as I walked over to them. As they noticed me, their eyes grew wide. ''May I ask where Kuchiki Rukia is being held?''

''A-Ano, she's not allowed to have any visitors...'' the one boy said hesitantly. I smiled wearily and waved him off. I wanted to go there because I didn't really have anything else to do- Toshiro was visiting Momo and I want to give them some privacy, Rangiku had work to do, all the Gotei 13 are in uproar and sitting in the office all by myself would be boring...as well as lonely.

''I understand that, I just would like to see the cell.''

'Cell'. Yeah, that's what I said. The Senzaikyu, 'Shrine of Penitence'. I was looking at it.

...

What part of these freaking **towers** could you possibly classify as a _shrine_?! It's huge, _they're_ huge! I thought that she would be in a prison cell like Momo's or something like that!

I felt my eyeballs were about to fall out of their sockets as I stared at the buildings. Then my eyes travelled to the bridges, then to the knocked out guards, and then to the open entrance.

I blinked. Wait...

Knocked out guards? Open entrance?

I ran up the ridiculously long staircase and was panting by the time I reached the top. My mouth was agape at the scene before me. A large man wearing green and a shorter, dark-haired Shinigami were inside. Their backs were facing me and I saw a girl in a white kosode and black hair further in. Was that Kuchiki Rukia? So this is a breaking out attempt? My hair blew freely in the wind behind me as my brain went into hyper drive.

There was only one phrase for a situation like this, a British one that Flamel used regularly, and I muttered it in a barely audible voice.

''Shit a fucking brick...''

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

''Hinamori.'' The brunette jerked and looked up at me from her sitting position. Her frown was filled with deep regret and great despair for her lost Taichou. I felt very sorry for her, since I had first-hand experience of seeing what she had go through to become Aizen's fukutaichou. Her eyes were bloodshot, and had dark bags under them. She slumped in her seat, and her whole form emanted exhaustion.

''Hitsugaya...kun...'' She said, tears still in her eyes. She then looked down. ''Sumi masen deshta,'' she apologized formally.

''...It's not me you need to apologize to,'' I said, she flinched.

''I don't know...how to...express how much I regret hurting...Miyuki-kun...'' she stuttered, ''All she tried to do was help, and yet I...!''

I didn't answer and she understood that there was nothing else to say about this subject.

''Ano...Outside...What is happening?'' She looked up at me with questioning eyes. I narrowed mine and sighed before looking to my side, thinking of the best way to explain the situation.

''It's chaos. Something like this occurring inside of a Division is completely unheard of. And there's the matter of the ryoka...Everyone's moving on their own and getting out of control.'' This really is a very big problem, and in all my years of being the Taichou here, I have never experienced anything close to this.

''Sonna...'' she said, ''Then, what about arresting the killer?'' I could hear anxiety rising in her voice.

''They still haven't finished inspecting the scene,'' I said as I turned to look at her, ''We have no choice but wait for the Soutaichou's decision.'' She frowned at my response. Disapproval clearly written across her face.

''But...'' She turned to me ''But the one who killed Taichou is-!'' I cut her off.

''Yameru!'' I narrowed my eyes. ''Don't just blindly jump to conclusions!''

''But you also suspect Ichimaru-taichou, don't you, Hitsugaya-kun?!'' she asked.

''It's only a hypothesis, Hinamori!'' I could see the realization dawning on her face, ''I have no proof that it's correct.''

She looked away again in shame. Even though I understood that she was in enough grief already, I needed her to understand that what she did was inexcusable.

Both as a captain and comrade...but most importantly as a friend...

''Just now, I told you that the whole of Seireitei was in chaos, but the one worst off is the 5th Division! They lost both their Taichou _and_ Fukutaichou in the same day!'' Her eyes widen at me, ''Do you realize what'll happen?'' My eyes soften slightly.

''I can understand how you feel...'' I said, imagining Miyuki pinned onto that tower instead of Aizen, I may very well have acted even more reckless than her, ''... But the rank of a fukutaichou is only a mere rank below a taichou, it's not trivial.''

''Gomen nasai,'' she said, looking down at her lap, ''I...I...'' She didn't seem to know what else to say with that shaking voice of hers. I sighed, knowing that she got the message. I took Aizen's letter out of my sleeve and handed it to her.

''Kore yo.'' She looked at it with wide eyes. ''Miyuki found it in Aizen-taichou's room, and asked me to give it to you,'' I said, ''You're the one who this letter is addressed to.''

''From Aizen-taichou...to me?'' she asked and took it carefully with two hands.

''You're lucky that Miyuki found it before anyone else had seen it. It would've ended up in the evidence bureau and would've never made it to you,'' I said, she had a very regretful expression on her face and I could see tears sliding down her cheeks. I knew that Miyuki and Hinamori had grown very attached to each other. They became very close friends almost instantly, ever since Hinamori kidnapped her to Rukongai for the first time.

''Even though I...'' She sobbed as she hugged the letter close to her, ''...went as far to threaten her...she...'' More tears slid down her face.

''...Miyuki cares for you that much because you're dear to her,'' I said, ''She is still very worried about you.'' She looked up at me with wide eyes, tears still falling. I didn't like that expression on her face, I only wanted her to smile and be happy. But I knew that wish won't fulfilled for a long time.

''She isn't...angry with me? She doesn't hate...me?'' she asked, looking scared.

''She just wants you back,'' I said, even though Miyuki didn't talk about it, I knew that this is what she wanted, ''As her treasured friend.'' She calmed her sobs and looked at me, worried.

''Miyuki-kun...I...wounded her...is she alright?'' she asked. I frowned.

''She's fine,'' I answered; I saw the relief in her eyes. I inwardly smiled, deep down, Hinamori was too kind to even hurt a fly.

''I don't know what's written in that letter,'' I said, turning the attention back to the letter. ''But him leaving his last words to you, is something to be happy about.'' I turned to leave. ''Read it gratefully.''

''Ano...Arigato gozaimashta, Hitsugaya-kun!''

''Hitsugaya-kun ja ne, Hitsugaya-taichou da!''

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

Here I was, just wanting to have a look at the senzaikyu's structure, and two weird people broke in right when I was here. Great, just great. Too many things are happening in one day- First Aizen's death, now this?

Surprise was apparent on my face when I saw that the bigger one had grabbed the girl by the collar, despite the protests of his smaller companion. Isn't this a rescue mission? He wasn't planning on killing her, was he?! I ran towards the door, drew my katana and held it next to the smaller one's neck. He gasped and shivered in fear, which made me frown in confusion. Even if I did suppress my reiatsu, my steps were so loud and obvious they _must've_ heard them- either that or they were nothing compared to the Taichou class. Since I've been surrounded by highly skilled warriors I was used to being noticed all the time. But that wasn't the case here. The taller slowly looked over his shoulder with wide eyes and I saw his long eyelashes. I hate men who have eyes like that, they creep me out.

´Aw, how cute. But then again, you've already got _your_ priorities set, haven't you?` I suppressed my blush and ignored that comment from that voice in my head. Literally.

''Put Kuchiki Rukia down, now.'' I said firmly, trying my best not to tremble. Damn me and my hero-complex! I noticed that he didn't do what I said and knew that more persuasion was required. ''Your friend here will be the one to pay if you don't.'' What a down-right lie. But he can't know that, so I'm safe... for now. But I don't even know if I could stand against the big guy for any decent amount of time.

The next thing I knew I felt an enormous reiatsu, enough to make even the strongest warriors tremble from the knees in the atmosphere. I could feel the restriction of breath and knew that the others felt it as well.

''W-What _is_ it with this reiatsu?!'' the larger man managed to rasp. We all looked back at the newcomer, the two intruders had horrified expressions and mine was merely surprised. I knew that this man had no intentions of killing me. But if I were in their shoes... 'panic' would be an understatement as to what I would be feeling.

''That's the roku bantai taichou...Kuchiki Byakuya-dono!'' the boy said who still had my katana by his neck.

''Kuchiki-taichou!'' I said, surprised.

''You're in my way, get behind me.'' I gulped and pulled my katana back before hurrying to do what he said. I wouldn't get in a fight if this guy was participating, not even if my life depended on it. I sheathed my sword when I heard the argument between the two ryoka.

''Are you tellin' me to risk my neck for _her_?!'' the bigger man said, ''She _killed_ my Aniki! For someone...For someone like _her_?!'' I raised my eyebrows at that. What the hell? Was this a rescue mission or not? Or was this an assassination attempt on a _deathrow_ inmate? ...It looked like the shinigami clad boy was the one who wanted to save Kuchiki Rukia and the other guy the exact opposite. What a strange pair. The shinigami said a few words which I couldn't hear because of the distance, and I was astonished when he turned around and walked towards us slowly. Was he...was he seriously thinking about challenging Kuchiki?! Judging by his terrified but determined expression, I'd say he was. There was also a little struggle with the muscular man and Kuchiki Rukia- he was blocking her way with his arm despite her protests. But after a few seconds he pushed the ravened haired girl back, gave a battle roar and dashed towards us as well. The shinigami, Hanatarou if I heard Kuchiki Rukia's call right, yelped in surprise before the man jumped over him and landed with a big 'thud'.

''Get back!'' he said.

''Ganju-san!'' Hanatarou said with a wide smile, but that soon faded as he was grabbed by the collar by his companion. I tilted my head to the side in confusion and arched an eyebrow. But my eyes were wide when I saw that this Ganju threw Hanatarou back.

''Not agaaaaiiiin!'' His cry lasted until he made contact to the ground. Ganju then turned to us with a confident grin on his face, showing his teeth. His fists smashed into each other as a sign of being prepared and his grin only widened.

''Ikuze, bo-chan!'' he said as he brought a fist up, ''Your enemy is ME!'' I was impressed by his courage, but after what seems like a few seconds, he was already panting from the sheer force of Kuchiki's reiatsu. This was the first time I was glad that I'd grown immune to this, as I spent so much time around Shinigami with high reiatsu levels.

''Feeling a faint motion of reiatsu here, I wondered what kind of powerful warrior was hiding his presence to slip inside...but it is just a gnat.'' Kuchiki's remark was as full of contempt as ever. I saw that Kuchiki Rukia had gotten out of the tower and was on her knees, Hanatarou was by her side. She seemed... _exhausted_.

Ganju dashed towards us, giving another battle cry before pulling something out of his pocket. ''Kurai! Chi Namida-'' The name of his attack was cut off by Kuchiki using shunpo to create a gash in his arm. I gasped at the pure speed of the attack. I knew that the Taichou were strong, but this is a standard where I couldn't even trust my eyes.

''Disappear. My Ten does not exist to crush insects like you.'' Ganju fell to his knees, clutching his serious wound right in front of me, gasping in pain. But after Kuchiki took a few steps forward, Ganju stood, facing the Taichou.

''Hold it!'' he said, and I was starting to think that this guy was insane.

''It seems you do not understand words,'' Kuchiki said, ''I told you to disappear.''

''Urusei! There ain't a single coward who'd turn tail and run from _that_! Not among the men of the Shiba clan!'' As those words left Shiba's lips, I saw a definite change in attitude from the black-haired taichou. He was aiming to kill. I could see that horrified expression on Kuchiki Rukia's face, as if she knew what was going to happen when he releases his Shikai- which is what he was about to do.

''Chire, Senbonzakura.'' I watched in amazement as the blade disappeared into pink, glowing pedals. The Taichou's sister yelled from the top of her lungs.

''NIGERO!!!''

But it was too fast for comprehension and I saw Shiba being slashed to strips before my eyes. Shocked wouldn't even begin to describe my expression at that moment as he fell back, lying on the ground, motionless. Kuchiki turned around, ready to attack Hanatarou too, even though his sister was begging for mercy. I opened my mouth to reason as well, but the words instantly died in my throat when I saw Ukitake suddenly appearing in front of me, holding Kuchiki's Zanpakto back. How did he...what the...? I didn't see him dash past me, I only saw him _appearing_ in front of me!

Ukitake sighed. ''Yare, yare...busodan na,'' he said, smiling in relief, ''Why don't you stop about there, Kuchiki-taichou?''

''U-Ukitake-taichou...'' Kuchiki Rukia said, shock apparent in both her voice and face.

''Howdy, Kuchiki!'' Ukitake greeted his subordinate with a smile and a casual salute. ''You lost a little weight. Daijobou-ka?'' I could feel my eyes twitching at that. 'She's going to get executed, does that sound alright to you?!'

''What are you doing here, Ukitake-taichou? Shouldn't you be resting?!'' I asked, sounding more strict than I usually do. He turned to face with a sheepish smile. I've always been very stern with him about his health, and once I threw a fit, which I rarely ever do, when he didn't listen to me. Since then, he took my advice more seriously, but not as much as I would've liked.

''But Yuki-chan...'' he said, I narrowed my eyes at him and crossed my arms. He waved me off with a nervous smile. ''But if I hadn't come, then it would've ended up badly!'' I wrinkled my nose as I realized that he had a point.

''What do you think you are doing, Ukitake?'' Kuchiki asked, I could tell that he was quite livid, though his composure masked it perfectly. Ukitake frowned at him. I looked on with admiration for Ukitake-taichou, who wasn't cowering in fear like me.

''Oi, oi, that's my line,'' he said, ''Releasing one's Zanpakto in a place like this is a class 1 forbidden act. Maybe it _is_ for the sake of repelling ryoka, but what are you _thinking_?'' I raised my eyebrows at that. That's right, Ukitake was ill during that announcement.

''By war martial orders, the release of Zanpakto has been permitted,'' Kuchiki said, Ukitake looked flabbergasted.

''War martial? The ryoka intrusion has become _that_ serious?! Don't tell me the one who killed Aizen was-'' He was cut off by a burst of reiatsu.

I could feel the tightness in my chest again, my hand automatically jumped to it. My head snapped up to see a guy with orange hair and shinigami robes hovering over us. My eyes fell on his Zanpakto- it was large. I remembered the rumours of the ryoka leader.

_''The leader is a shinigami with orange hair and a Zanpakto the size of his own body!'' _

He landed on the ground before Kuchiki Rukia on one knee. The girl seemed astonished by his presence, but he walked right past her to Hanatarou, checking if everything was alright with him. After that he turned back to Kuchiki Rukia. I couldn't hear their conversation, but looking at them like that... they somehow looked like lovers. That'd explain why he was so hell-bent in saving her. My shoulders slacked in stupefied shock as I saw the sudden change of attitude between the two.

''From this point on, _you_ have no say whatsoever! Got that, Boki?!'' the ryoka yelled when he pointed a dramatic finger at the girl, who stood tall to protest.

''What the hell is that?! You're ignoring all of my rights?! What kind of tyrannical way is that to save someone?!''

''Urusei! The one being rescued doesn't get to complain!'' he said, ''You just do your part: Stand somewhere trembling and say 'Oh, save me!' Act more like a girl, will ya?!'' Her fist was shaking.

'' 'Oh, save me!' my ass! I don't tremble! And my appearance is none of your business!'' Okay...not your average pair...I actually had to hold in a laugh when I saw the ryoka sticking his tongue out at her in the most mocking manner imaginable. She was trembling, alright, trembling with fury. Once they calmed down, they exchanged a few more words, which I was now cursing that I couldn't hear since I was such a hopeless romantic.

''Byakuya... who is that?'' Ukitake asked with wide eyes. Kuchiki looked at us over his shoulder.

''No relation.'' He turned his head to face the ryoka ahead, ''He is nothing at all, just a ryoka. I will erase him. Then it will be over, and this entire minor conflict will end.'' With that, he walked forward, just like the ryoka did.

''You're takin' it awfully easy, ain't ya...not attacking even while I talked to Rukia for so long,'' The orange head said as he gripped for the sword on his back, but didn't draw it yet.

''Who do you think you are talking to? Are you telling me to exploit an opening for the likes of _you_?'' Kuchiki asked, ''Don't speak out of your league, koso.'' I gasped when Kuchiki let out an enormous amount of reiatsu, far too much for me to handle. My knees gave in and I would've fallen onto the floor if it weren't for Ukitake's arm shooting out to catch me right before I made contact with the ground. He looked down at me worriedly.

''Daijobou-ka, Miyuki?'' he asked, using my name instead of that nickname he thought up. I nodded feebly, but sweat was gathering on my forehead at a rapid rate.

''N-... Nanto...ka...'' My response was hard to understand as I was panting and exhausted. I could only stare in amazement as I saw the ryoka getting into a fighting stance with his Zanpakto ready.

''Oh? Completely unaffected by this much reiatsu... it seems you have improved quite a bit.'' My head jerked towards the sound of his voice. Kuchiki had fought against this guy before? ''I do not know how you once more obtained shinigami no chikara, but... you would have done better to live peacefully in the living world. Who could have imagined you would come all this way to discard the life you held onto...'' I decided not to try deducing the relationship between the two. The rough idea was that Kuchiki fought against the ryoka when he went to the living world to bring his sister here. The taichou obviously won and here we are. I didn't understand the whole: 'once again regained the power' comment, but I didn't want to waste any energy thinking about the details.

''I don't intend to throw it away,'' the ryoka said flatly, ''I'm going to beat you and go home with Rukia.'' I gulped, feeling the ominous aura emitting from the 6th division Taichou.

''I told you not to speak out of your league, koso.'' With that, Kuchiki dashed torwards him using shunpo, but before he could pierce his opponent with his katana, it was blocked by the ryoka's. He was able to see his movements? That's impossible! I couldn't see Kuchiki's face, but I knew that if I could, I'd find a very shocked expression.

''I see you,'' the ryoka said before he turned to face him, ''Kuchiki Byakuya!'' He swung his sword, pushing them away from each other and he got into his stance. I didn't need to face him to see that he was smirking. ''How about it, Kuchiki-_san_?'' he asked, tilting his head down and raised his zanpakto. ''Surprised? I can see through that shunpo of yours!''

''Don't get full of yourself just because of a lucky strike, orokamono.''

''Why don't we just see if it was luck or not?''

The two were fighting on the same level, but it became apparent that Kuchiki was only using the tip of his power. After a few clashes, Kuchiki brought his sword up.

''Naruhodo,'' Kuchiki said, ''You have improved more than I had thought. No choice then.'' He held the sword up. ''Before you get intoxicated by your own power, I shall show you a decisive power gap that you cannot overcome even with a millennium of struggle.'' With a swift movement he turned the sword 90° like a key.

''It's no use, Ichigo! Run!'' Kuchiki Rukia said with panic in her voice. If it weren't for the seriousness of the situation, I would be amused by the name- 'Ichigo', 'strawberry', for a _guy_? He's got weird parents, I'll give him that.

''Chire...'' Senbonzakura's blade started to glow pink, but before he finished the release, a white band, was already wrapped around the metal. The one responsible was a woman, kneeling on the ground, her hand holding the other end of the fabric. I was surprised. Sure, another person just appeared out of nowhere, but that wasn't the reason. She had dark skin, yellow eyes and the same hair colour as my eyes. But I noticed that our attire was quite similar. I had white leg and wrist warmers, instead of leg-pads. She had an orange instead of a purple kimono top and I didn't have those white pads on my shoulders.

''That's...'' Ukitake's voice trailed off.

''_You_!'' Kuchiki exclaimed. I frowned, they knew her? Great, more things I didn't know about. But it's safe to say that no one here was expecting her arrival.

The woman stood, ''Osashiburi jano,'' she said as she looked at Kuchiki over her shoulder, ''Byakuya-bou.''

''Shihouin Yoruichi...'' Kuchiki said as he swung his sword to rid his blade of the material. ''Former Supreme Commander of the Onmitsukidou, as well as Corps Commander of the 1st Squad thereof, the Correction Corps, Shihouin Yoruichi. I have not seen that face in a long time. You've hidden your whereabouts for over a century. I considered you long dead.'' ...Kuchiki really likes to talk, doesn't he?

''Yoruichi-san,'' the ryoka, Ichigo, said. Shihouin tilted her head to the side slightly to show that she was listening. ''You came to help me, didn't you? Saan-kyu. But sorry, I need you to move outta the way. I have to take that guy down.'' Shihouin looked over her shoulder at Ichigo.

''Take him down? You, take _him_ down?'' she asked, ''Orokamono!'' She disappeared and reappeared in front of Ichigo well within a second and jabbed him in the stomach with her hand. My mouth was agape; this is just making less and less sense to me. But it seems that my shock was a feeling we all shared, including Kuchiki.

''Wh-What're you doing... Yoru...'' Ichigo fell unconscious before he had the chance to finish. Shihouin pulled her hand out, blood splattering everywhere, and caught the orange head before he fell forwards.

''Medicine?'' I looked up at Ukitake when he asked. ''Gaten or Houten... you pounded _some _kind of powerful anaesthetic directly into his internal organs. What are you going to do with him, Yoruichi?''

''Ukitake...'' Her voice trailed off. But she side-glanced at Kuchiki as he took a step towards her.

''Whatever you are going to try, it is useless. You cannot escape from here,'' Kuchiki said, Shihouin smirked.

''Oh? You've learned to talk big, haven't you, Byakuya-bou? Has there even been a single time where you've beaten me in tag?'' she asked, her smirk never wavering.

''In that case,'' Kuchiki said, his eyes narrowing, ''Shall we see?''

The two went into a series of shunpo, Shihouin was trying to escape with Ichigo in her grip and Kuchiki was trying to strike her with his katana. Shihouin dashed passed Ukitake and I, reaching the end of the bridge. But Kuchiki used shunpo and said one thing before he slashed her.

''Did you think you could escape me with such sluggish shunpo?''

His eyes widened when he saw that he had merely destroyed a clone. The next thing I saw, Shihouin landed on Kuchiki's out-stretched arm, still carrying Ichigo. I was stunned that Kuchiki didn't even budge at the extra weight, he was 'only' shocked.

''Did you think you could capture me with such sluggish shunpo?'' Shihouin asked with a smirk on her face. She used shunpo to jump up on a roof above us, looking down as the wind blew her hair. ''Three days,'' she said.

''Within three days, I will make this boy stronger than you. Selfish as it may be, until then, we will take leave from the fight. Follow us if you wish.'' She paused and smirked. ''Shunshin Yoruichi... is still far from being caught by the likes of you.'' She turned to leave, but halted and turned to look down at us again, I gulped when I realised that it was _me_ she was looking at. She grinned.

''I like your version of this outfit, chibi no washi.'' With that, she disappeared. I blinked. 'Little me'? I don't look anything like her!

''Well, with that getup, you do look a lot like her, Yuki-chan.'' I looked up at Ukitake and realized that I was thinking out loud. I narrowed my eyes at him.

''I don't want to hear a _man's_ view in this,'' I said grumpily, and he smiled softly. What the heck happened to the epic feeling of mystery a few seconds ago?! Kuchiki was taking his leave, but Ukitake turned his head to look at the taichou.

''Where are you going, Byakuya? You came to arrest the ryoka, didn't you?'' Ukitake asked, but Kuchiki didn't halt. I walked towards Kuchiki Rukia and Hanatarou, wanting to make sure that they were alright.

''I have lost interest,'' was Kuchiki's answer, ''Do with them what you will.'' Ukitake sighed and held a hand up to his head and looked up slightly.

''Yare, yare. He's just as spoiled as ever.''

''Ah!'' I exclaimed when I saw that Kuchiki Rukia was about to fall on the ground. I hurried the last few steps towards her and caught the girl before she fell.

''Rukia-san!'' I heard Hanatarou's call as he paced towards us. Ukitake called for his 3rd seats, Kotetsu and Kotsubaki. He ordered the Kotetsu to get medical attention from the 4th division for Shiba and Kotsubaki to return Kuchiki Rukia back to her cell. That was after the two wasted our time arguing about which one of them respected Ukitake the most. As nice as they are, they can be downright annoying at times. Kotsubaki came to us, and glared at Hanatarou who was standing in his way.

''Move.''

''N-No I won't! You can't put Rukia-san back in the cell...'' The boy was grabbed by the collar by Kotsubaki, who gave him a livid glare. Hanatarou had a horrified smile on his face.

''GET OUTTA THE WAY ALREADY, YOU DAMN BOOGER! YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS 'CUZ I WANT TO, HUH?!'' Kotsubaki asked and his response was a whimper from the frail boy before he was thrown back. Kotsubaki turned to me with a frown, and I smiled at him.

''Ano, Kotsubaki-san, may I carry Kuchiki Rukia in?'' I asked, he raised his eyebrows at that.

''Why would you want to do that?''

''...She feels warm. I want to hold onto that for a bit longer.''

Though Kuchiki Rukia was taller than me, I was still able to carry her over to the cell. I frowned. She was too light for her height. But that doesn't surprise me, who would feel like taking care of themselves when they're on death row? I wouldn't, I'm sure. I looked around the interior of the tower. There were stairs, but there was no bed, nothing comfortable for her to lie on. I decided to set her on the ground in the middle, where there was sun light shining from the slits in the walls. She lie there; her expression peaceful.

''Yuki-chan!'' I heard Ukitake's call and looked over my shoulder.

''I'm coming right out!'' I said before turning to let my eyes rest on Kuchiki Rukia's frame. She was pretty, I noticed. Her hair had a nice shine and her skin had the perfect shade. Mine was paler, much to my dislike. I always found tanned skin far more attractive. Ghastly skin like this only makes people think that you're weak, sickly and anti-social. I was immediately labelled as a Goth on my first day in school.

I took my light purple kimono top off, leaving my black, turtle-neck, long sleeved undershirt. I folded the cloth and tucked it under the raven haired girl's head, so that it may be used as a pillow. I brushed a strand of hair out of her face before standing up.

Tanned skin... An image of Toshiro flashed through my head, making me blush. I turned around and had a look of dread on my face. Toshiro's so going to throw a fit when he gets wind of the whole fiasco...

´Don't pretend anything, you like the fact that he can get so worked up because of you, right?`

_**-Owari.-**_

_**Before I start with my notes I'll say this, since my dearest editor asked me about it and I'll give my wonderful readers the right to know this:**_

_**I'M NOT GONNA MAKE MIYUKI A LITTLE MISS FLASHSTEP NUMBER TWO! THAT'S A BIG NO NO!!! I just wanted you guys to have an understanding of what she was wearing XP**_

**A/N: Again, sorry that I took so long to update! There's been a LOT going on and I'd be ranting to infinity and beyond listing them all up! I'm not living in America like the most of you, so I STILL have school XC Lots of things to worry my ass about! XDD**

**And I was quite... amazed that I got 30 reviews. I mean, WOW. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I ONLY WRITE FOR YOU!! NEVER FORGET THAT!!**

**StardustQueen , waterlily777(Kawaii-chan!) , Dragon of Twilight (*whispers* ~~~-chan!) , darkheart1992 , RheaTheMeepoe , Emerald Gaze , The Infamous Salem-chan , IkuXYori , Yuki Rein , rockbellrocksroll , NeverEndingDreamEnds , AngelTenshi-chan , Leopardstar , ore-sama , Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes , SapphireJKH , , Arin-chan , XxAimTheFlamexX , KurokamiHaruhi , KazeNoSakura , Manaxsavior , Mitsuki Tsukiya , ShivaSummon , ToushiroHitsugayaROX , ShadowBlade7330 , XxPyro-samaxX , Lady Of Summer Haze , I'm me, obviously , LadyAmazon .**

**Please continue reviewing, each and everyone of them really mean so much to me! XD**

**And those who alerted and faved this story, I love you too! But I'd LOVE you if you post a review for lil' old me!! I'll love you forever! And yes, I know that I love a LOT!!!**

**A very special thanks to my beta, Arelissa. I'm feeling so guilty for making her do so much when she's on her holidays! ! **

**I also thank Dragon of Twilight for taking time to correct this chapter, too!**

**btw, what do you guys think of my new penname? XD **

**AND!!! There is a Poll-question on my profile which regards this very story... Please vote your opinions!**

**Last, but not least, the translations!**_**Sumi masen deshta- I'm very sorry**_

Sonna- That

Yameru- stop it right there

_**Kore yo- here **_

_**Aniki- big brother**_

_**Ikuze, bo-chan- let's do this, rich-boy**_

_**Kurai- eat this**_

_**Chi Namida- Chi: blood, Namida: tear(s)**_

_**Ten- sword**_

_**Chire- scatter **_

_**Nigero- run**_

_**Yare, yare- My, oh my.**_

_**Busodan na- so dangerous **_

_**Boki- dumbass **_

_**Koso- boy **_

_**Nanto ka- somehow**_

_**Shinigami no chikara- death god powers**_

_**Orokamono- foolish one/ fool**_

_**Naruhodo- I see **_

_**Osashiburi jano- long time no see **_

_**Byakuya-bou- little Byakuya **_

_**Saan-kyu- thanks- actually the Japanese form of 'thank you' in English**_

_**Gaten- piercing point**_

_**Houten- collapsing point**_

Chibi no washi- little me

**Hmm... maybe I should cut down on the Japanese... What do you guys think?**

**~Love it? Hate it? Review, Review, REVIEW!!!**

**Jibun no Omoi**


	8. Fear and Loathing

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! Here's chapter 8 for you! More about my randomness at the end XP**

**As for now, enjoy!**

-x-X-x-

**Fear and Loathing**

_**What do you want to escape from? The thing called 'Reality'?**_

-x-X-x-

''Ryoka?! Right in front of you?! Are you alright?! Did anything happen?!'' I could feel my eyes twitching in annoyance when Toshiro was bickering while walking in circles around me, checking for any wounds. Nonexistent wounds, if I may add. We were in the office and Rangiku was sleeping on the couch. Her light snores were completely blocked out by Toshiro's nagging, and speaking of blocking, I must admit that I was quite tempted to do that with his voice. It was nighttime now; I had just arrived after the whole questioning procedure from the ryoka intrusion in the senzaikyu. I was asking myself why I even came back. I arrive from a tiring interrogation and return to _this_.

Obviously Toshiro was, like I had predicted, throwing a fit.

''Why didn't you run away?! Bakayarou! You could've been killed! I told you to come with me to see Hinamori, and look what happened! That's it, I'm never leaving you out of my sight again!'' He was doing his 100th circle around me with scanning eyes. ''And what happened to your kimono?! Did someone try to—'' I cut him off by placing a finger on his lips, silencing him as he blushed with big eyes.

I decided to leave the kimono top, just keeping the loose, light, black jumper, which reached slightly below my hips instead. I kept the tight suit underneath, as well as the wrist and leg warmers. I just wanted to change something a bit since it bared too much resemblance to what Shihouin wore.

''I took it off and lost it with all the wind flaring around. Besides, I think it looks better like this,'' I said, lying about the kimono. Toshiro grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away, but his hand kept a firm hold on mine.

''I'm serious, you could've been badly injured!'' He released my hand, grabbed both of my shoulders and loomed over me slightly. ''Are you sure you're alright?!'' I blushed, staring at his face. It was intense and caring at the same time, but he wasn't blushing. I found myself trembling at the sight of those teal orbs. He didn't budge so I opened my mouth to speak.

''I'm fine, Toshiro. I was kept well away from harm and battle.'' A smile crossed on my lips. ''But I'm happy that you're so worried.''

That's when he realized our position and blushed. He pulled back and turned his back to me, clearing his throat as he crossed his arms. I smirked fondly at him, knowing that he was blushing.

''U-Urusei.'' I chuckled at his stuttering retort and he turned to face me with a flustered glare. ''What's so funny?!'' I waved him off, holding in a laugh.

''Nothing, nothing!''

''Of course it's something! Say it to my face!''

''Quiet!'' We both jumped at the voice that came from the couch, and turned our heads to see that Rangiku was looking at us with a ticked off expression. She had just awoken and was sitting up on the sofa. ''I'm sleeping!'' she said in a weary voice. Toshiro narrowed his eyes at her.

''Oh no you don't! You're going to finish off the rest of the paperwork; I'm already getting sick of it!'' he said as he grabbed the small pile of paper from his desk.

''Just because you're in a bad mood since Miyuki teased you, I have to suffer...'' she said in a miserable voice. Toshiro blushed and I laughed at him, making him snap his head to face and glare at me. ''Miyuki will give you the real thing soon, so don't be so grumpy!'' This time I was the one who had a red face and got a mocking smirk from the other. After wrinkling my nose, I marched over to the fukutaichou and whacked her over the head.

''Itai! (Ouch)'' she exclaimed. Her hand lifted up to rub the bump under her blonde hair and looked up at me with a pout. My annoyed glare never wavered. I just deepened my scowl.

´She's right, you know.' I growled in my mind, if that's even possible.

''Rangiku, another comment like that and I'll smack you so hard your grandchildren will feel it!'' After I said that a voice was heard behind the doors, which lead to the division member hall.

''Begging your pardon. I am the 10th Division 7th officer, Takezoe Koukichirou. Are Hitsugaya-taichou and Matsumoto-fukutaichou present?'' It was a man's voice.

''What is it? Open the door,'' Toshiro said as he turned to look at the door like we all did, which slid open to reveal a man with dark hair. He looked up at us from his kneeling position with serious eyes. I frowned in confusion, what now? What else could possibly happen in one day?

Aizen's corpse was found, big fit from Momo, detention sentence for Momo and Kira, Flamel's strange depression, mass-ryoka intrusion...

''Moments ago, urgent reports from various cell guards indicated that Abarai-fukutaichou, Hinamori-fukutaichou and Kira-fukutaichou have disappeared from their respective cells.''

...And I mentally added 'Momo broke out' in my list of events that happened so far today.

----

''My deepest apologies!'' said a guard who kneeling in front of us pathetically. We had just arrived in the detention centre of the 5th division, where Momo was supposed to be. ''When I heard Hinamori-fukutaichou call me and turned around, my vision went blank. I awoke seeing things as you see now.'' He was so crouched down that I didn't even see his face. ''I have absolutely no excuse!''

''That's Hakufuku (binding spell- 'white kneeling'), alright,'' Toshiro said with crossed arms.

''Hakufuku?'' the guard asked as he raised his head up to look up at us.

''Hinamori is a master of Kidou. If we seriously intended to shut her in,'' Toshiro said as he glanced at the cell for a moment. ''We should have sealed her reiatsu.'' He looked ahead again, his expression showing authority and indifference. ''But the reason we didn't...'' I turned to face the cell with a frown. It had a huge hole in the bars and in the wall, both mirroring each other. ''...Is because no one thought that Hinamori would go _this_ far.''

''It's not like she was going to be executed,'' Rangiku said and my frowned deepened.

''I can imagine why she's doing this...'' My voice trailed off. Ichimaru. It has to be; she's still convinced that he's the murderer of Aizen. And to be honest so was I.

''Matsumoto.'' Toshiro's voice jerked me from my thoughts. He sounded... urgent.

''Hai?'' Rangiku's response came immediately as if it was trained.

''Take care of Miyuki and go back without me,'' he said. ''I'm going to save Hinamori.''

I could feel my heart twisting at that sentence, jealousy stirring within me. I couldn't help it when I saw his teal eyes holding such determination for her, and no one else but her. Self-disgust enveloped me. I have no right to think about such trivial matters like that...

But to me, they weren't trivial. They were the most powerful emotions that I felt. Besides, like hell I was going to let him go off on his own! Maybe it was the jealousy that Toshiro wanted to save Momo on his own which motivated this thought of mine, but she was my friend, I also had a reason to save her.

''Ano, Rangiku-chan,'' I said as the fukutaichou and I were walking back to the 10th division. She looked down me and tilted her slightly, implying that she was listening to me. ''I need to have a chat with Flamel-sensei. She said something about a formula to help me to transmute,'' I lied about the non-existing object, and I knew how bad that particular lie was.

I could picture Rangiku's face, with an expression which would literally say 'How stupid do you think I am?'. Rangiku narrowed her eyes suspiciously at me, making me gulp. A constant chant of 'what now, what now, what now?' was running through my head, reversing, and doing a few extra rounds. I thought that it warranted an excellent reason to think about panicking.

I did the most rational and intelligent thing I could think of—I ran off before she said anything. ''I'll be right back!''

And prayed for not too much lecture.

--

I ran through the Seireitei grounds to find Momo, the scenery rushing past me. I was cursing the fact that she was hiding her reiatsu- but I had an idea where she would be heading. She was sure that Ichimaru was the murderer of Aizen, so it'd make sense if she'd be after him now. And the 3rd division taichou would normally be in the 3rd division grounds. I could see the building coming into view.

''Dammit, Momo, don't rush into this!'' I said out loud, and then jumped up the steps to reach the roofs. My agility has improved somewhat and I was able to control how I presented my reiatsu. But those were more or less the only improvements I was able to make. I still can't transmute even if my life depended on it and my swordsmanship was still as pathetic as ever—but I could block, which you would need if someone as brutal as Flamel was your teacher.

Flamel-sensei... I hadn't seen her since this morning. Was she still so depressed? But why?

I saw Ichimaru and Kira walking down a path together, which jerked my attention back to the current situation. They were heading for the 3rd Division HQ; I jumped off the roof, landed swiftly in front of them on my knees and was panting slightly.

''Ichimaru-taichou, I trust that you're aware that you released Kira-fukutaichou before it was said for him to be allowed out,'' I said and then stood up, my eyes never avoiding the two 3rd Division members. I managed to catch my breath. ''That's punishable, even for you, Ichimaru-taichou, with the situation we have with Aizen-taichou's...'' My voice trailed off and he smirked at me.

''Oiya! Miyuki-chan! How you have improved in your skills! I barely noticed you coming!'' he said. I narrowed my eyes at him.

''Please refrain from calling me by my given name and mocking me,'' I said, turning my whole body to face him. ''Nor change the subject.'' Great. Now I knew that Toshiro's professional façade was doubtlessly rubbing off on me. But what now? Should I fight them if they refuse? Yeah, right, that'll definitely work. I was damning my hero-complex for the second time of the day.

´Yeap, hopelessly stupid. You're in one hell of a position now. What'cha gonna say? 'I'll scare you off with my unbelievingly crap alchemical skills... Oh wait! I'll correct that, I mean _nonexistent_ alchemical skills!`

`One more word from you and I swear I will make you wish that you never existed.´

´Is that so? Like to see what the hell you could possibly do to me.`

`...I'll think of something.´

´Translation: I'm as stubborn as shit.` I decided to end our little conversation there- wait. Did I just say _our_ conversation?! Terrific, I'm losing it.

''Ara ara(my, my)! Such cold words for a lady!'' he said, then raised his eyebrows slightly in surprise, making me narrow my eyes at him in confusion. But soon they widened when I saw Momo landing between Ichimaru and me on one knee.

''Momo?!'' She didn't raise her head, in fact, she didn't move at all.

''I... found you,'' she said, standing up, ''So this is where you have been.'' She turned to Ichimaru, her hand on the tilt of her sword.

''Don't, Momo! You're no match for him!'' I said. She drew her Tobiume and swung it around her, and pointed it at me. I was astonished by this outcome.

''Momo...?'' I asked; she glared at me. Her chocolate eyes bore into my eyes, and I could feel so many emotions stirring from within me.

''Aizen-taichou's...'' She shivered at the next word, ''...murderer!'' My eyes widen even further as I gasped. I could see the tears in her eyes as she looked at me. ''How could you betray him?'' she asked me. I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. ''How could you betray _me_?!''

_What?_

''You already have Shiro-chan...but that wasn't enough for you, was it?!'' she asked. What the...what is she talking about...?

''I know everything now...'' she started, and laid a hand over her chest, where I saw the letter that I found in Aizen's room. ''...From the letter Taichou left me.''

_''Hinamori-kun, forgive me for my actions, but I simply couldn't control my feelings anymore. I have understood your affections for some time, and have tried my very best to return them... and was about to until I saw Higurashi Miyuki. The aura surrounding drew my being to her, pulling me into a pit I couldn't see the sky of._

_Please, forgive me, but I always just wanted eternal bliss of happiness... something I fear only Higurashi-chan can provide. _

_You're the one who I trust more than anyone else, so please, tell them that we're safe, and that we're happy._

_I'm sorry it came to this, but please don't take it to heart...it's my fault entirely, and I wouldn't blame you if you wouldn't accept my apology. Hinamori-kun...''_

''...We have most likely escaped together by dawn, meeting at the East Holy Wall...'' She dictated the letter by heart, using the term 'boku' instead of 'watashi' (the term used for 'me', women normally use 'watashi', men 'ore' or 'boku', in Aizen's case, the latter) to show that that was the words he had written, and my eyes could only grow wider at each word, she was trembling.

''...Together, I'm sure we shall find what we treasure most of life...'' Her tears ran down like two rivers.

I remember when I went to the 5th division office with Toshiro; I found that letter. It was perfectly folded and wrapped by a thin string as a seal and the low, wooden table was empty. Momo's name was written on it; in kanji and in the gentlest handwriting. I can even recall how it laid on the light brown surface, having a streak of sunlight bathing it. The room was flawlessly tidy, only a coat laid on the floor in a messy fashion.

Every single damn word in that letter was a lie, Aizen has never made a move on me, much less have we agreed on eloping! But the letter must've said those words, or Momo wouldn't...

''Hinamori-kun, I'm begging you, be happy. And please know that...you'll always have a special place in my heart... not as a Taichou... but as an ordinary man...'' she finished. I didn't know if my eyes could possibly be any wider.

''Mo...mo...'' My brain didn't want to accept the reality of what was going to happen soon.

''Aaah!'' With that yell she jumped up and was about to slash down at me with her Zanpakto. I jumped out of the way before the blade hit me.

''Baka!'' I yelled; her katana had cut into the ground. ''Think about it! Do you honestly think I would fall for the man you love?! Do you honestly think I would play such a sick trick on him and you?! DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULD KILL HIM JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT?!'' I asked, hoping that some sense would hit her head.

''But...!'' she yelled, pulling her sword out of the dent before charging towards me, ''But that was what the letter said! It was in Aizen-taichou's handwriting!''

I gritted my teeth as I dodged her swipes and jumped back. I wasn't expecting that she would dash towards me again, so I drew my katana from my belt and used it to block her swipe, making our blades cross. I stared into her glassy eyes and I could feel that my eyes were also on the verge of tears.

''I didn't want to believe it when I first read it!'' she said, ''But Aizen-taichou would never lie to me! Yet you... you betrayed me, Higurashi Miyuki; that I can forgive! But you betrayed Aizen-taichou... and then killed him! That I can't forgive no matter what!!!'' She swung her Zanpakto multiple times, even if they were mere strikes of blind rage, it was difficult for me to block all her attacks. The fact is that she had a lot higher stamina, more experience and power than I did. If this keeps up I'll be killed without a doubt.

And even if I did have the chance I couldn't hurt her, I would never forgive myself... But more importantly... Toshiro would never forgive me...

''You fooled me, Aizen-taichou and Hitsugaya-kun, too...'' She sobbed when she paused her attacks and looked at me with a defeated expression. But it soon flickered from her eyes before she bent down, pressing air out of her lungs so that she could yell as loud as she could. ''...DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY SHIRO-CHAN IS WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT YOU?! WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING HIM?! DON'T YOU AT LEAST CARE ABOUT HIS FEELINGS?!'' she asked. I widen my eyes as I blocked her sword again.

''Momo...'' I croaked, ''Please...stop! I didn't kill Aizen-taichou! I didn't betray anyone!'' I said, pushing her away with my sword and jumping back. ''That letter must be a fake! Someone must've forged it!'' She dashed towards me again so I jumped out of her way before she swung her blade.

''I...I...'' She was stuttering because of her confusion and more tears flew down her face. ''I...don't...know what...to do anymore...'' Her voice was shaking, ''I don't know what to believe anymore... Miyuki...!'' She looked up at me with desperate eyes.

''Please, Momo, just put your katana down, I'm begging you...'' My plea wasn't heeded by the fukutaichou. Dammit, she was really confused...

Why...Why is this happening?! Being forced into a situation like this...

I widen my eyes when I saw a girl with long, ginger-red hair in a high ponytail, standing in Momo's place in my mind. The girl was covered in blood as she held a butcher's knife with an insane grin on her face. I saw her laughing like someone who had a mental disorder.

Ah, yes...Now I remember when I was in a standpoint like this...

...It was when I did the first part of the mental stress experiment...

But it was Momo I saw running towards me again and I snapped out of my flashback. She screamed before she swung her sword at me, which I blocked again.

I was inwardly cursing myself for thinking I could take on a _fukutaichou_, a freaking _fukutaichou_! I've only been training for slightly more than a week and there's only so much a week can offer against people who trained for _decades_! My breathing was becoming heavy, and exhaustion was starting to demand for a price.

If this keeps up, I...

A gasped filled my lungs when I realized that she flash-stepped behind me, I ducked as fast as I could and the end of my braid was slashed off, cutting two inches of my hair, which _used_ to nearly reach my knees. I jumped back and my hair waved freely to follow my movement as a ponytail instead of the usual braid. She just gave my hair tips a square cut, I noticed. I could feel the beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. This is bad; this is _very_ bad...

She really... she really wants to kill me... she seriously wants to kill me....

I shivered slightly and widen my eyes in fear.

This time I might really, honestly die.

But now... I'm scared of dying...

I don't want to die...

Toshiro...I still want to tell him one day that I...

My eyes widen when I heard Toshiro's voice from the back of my head.

_''I'll definitely protect you.''_

Those are the words that he promised me with.

I gripped my sword tighter as determination flashed in my eyes. Momo was making her way towards me with a swift dash.

I believed those words.

My arms shot up with my katana in my grip as I called all my remaining strength forth to block another one of Momo's blows. Our blades were shaking against each other. I stared into the lieutenant's eyes, and I could see my own reflection in them.

I looked so pathetic and pitiful. Exhaustion was obvious on my face, sweat rolling down the side of my head. Small wrinkles had gathered around my eyes because I kept them wide for so long.

Toshiro will come...I'm sure of it. I just have to stay alive until he does...and for his sake, keep Momo alive as well.

But reality often doesn't follow one's desires, does it?

Momo had pushed me off, making me having to stumble a few steps back before I could retrieve my footing again. But before I could even do that, I heard a release from Hinamori Momo fukutaichou.

''Hajike, Tobiume!''

I could only watch in shock before the explosion sent me flying, a small cry escaping my lips. As my back made contact with the wooden floor, I felt the wave of pain running through my body. I looked up and saw Momo slowly walking over to me with her released Tobiume. My view became blurry and my lids heavy. Yet I could still feel the vibration of the wooden floor with each time she took a step.

I tilted my head to my side and saw my katana had been broken into two pieces. My hand slowly tried to reach for the hilt, which had fallen out of my grasp, but I soon noticed that I had no control over my arm. It went limp. Then my hand. And lastly my fingers.

That was when I realized that I was being consumed by unconsciousness.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I was dashing across to the 3rd Division grounds. Kira's door was the only one that was unlocked from the outside and the only one who would let him out was obvious.

As soon as I saw a glimpse of Ichimaru's white Haori from behind the walls, I heard a loud explosion after the command...

''Hajike, Tobiume!''

I was shocked when I heard that voice. Hinamori?! She's already there?! But what made my heart stop beating for a moment was Miyuki's scream. My heart then pumped furiously as I flash-stepped towards it.

I was standing a few meters in front of the 3rd division members; my back was facing them. Hinamori was panting, her Zanpakto released and the cloud of smoke cleared when I saw, to my horror, Miyuki on the floor, unconscious. My heart throbbed faster, as if to give my brain more blood so that it could comprehend what's going on, which is what it was forced to do when I saw Hinamori raising her Zanpakto over Miyuki's body, about to kill her.

''MIYUKI!'' I yelled, used shunpo to speed up to my childhood friend and bashed her hands for her to let go of her Zanpakto. She looked at me with shocked eyes as her blade fell to the ground with a 'clang'. I glared at her with both anger and betrayal flashing dangerously in my eyes.

''Hinamori, what the hell do you think you're doing!?'' I asked and she flinched at me. Tears were flooding from her red, puffy eyes.

''Please, Hitsugaya-kun! Don't stand in my way! She was the one who killed Aizen-taichou!'' A frown crossed my eyebrows, but my eyes were still wide.

''What?! Hinamori, are you insane?! There's no way that Miyuki—'' Hinamori cut me off.

''It's true! It's in Aizen-taichou's letter!'' I gritted my teeth when I heard her reason.

''Bakayarou! Miyuki can't possibly be the murderer! She wouldn't last a second against him! And do you think that Miyuki would even be _capable_ of hurting _you_!?'' She cringed at my exclamation. I didn't think, I **knew** that she wasn't the one who killed Aizen. I don't care what anyone or any letter says. Miyuki was innocent, and I was sure that I wouldn't be convinced of otherwise.

Hinamori frowned, but turned to Miyuki and reached for her with a glowing hand. She was planning to kill Miyuki with raw Kido, since she knew that she didn't have time for a Hakudo. I grabbed her arm tightly, and she looked at me.

''Hinamori...'' I glared at her, ''...**stop it**.''

I could feel her trembling, but she turned away from me and used her other hand to repeat her attempt. Before she was even close to touching Miyuki I hit her neck swiftly. She widened her eyes, but soon slumped on the ground, blacked out. I frowned at my dear friend.

''I'm sorry.''

Afterwards I kneeled down next to Miyuki, and pulled her in my arms to examine her. I had felt her pulse long ago, but I could feel a huge wave of relief washing over me as I noted that she was all right. A glimmer caught my eyes and saw Miyuki's white-silver katana was broken—the blade was snapped right in the middle. My eyes trailed further and I noticed a bundle of ebony strands tied by a white hair band, and I knew that it was the inches of Miyuki's hair.

I looked down at her face and couldn't help but hold her tighter and closer. For it to be that close, she must've really been scared...

''Miyuki, you idiot...'' My mutter was barely even audible.

''Whata cute couple,'' I snapped my eyes open and glared at the person who said that. Of course, it was no one other than Ichimaru Gin. I laid Miyuki on the floor gently, but didn't turn to face Ichimaru, just letting him see my back as I stood.

''But my oh my, that's awf'lly mean o' ya, Jyuu ban Taichou-san,'' Ichimaru said, ''Y'aint gotta hit th' girl that hard.'' I ignored his comments, knowing that he was talking about Hinamori.

''Ichimaru...'' I was trying to suppress my reiatsu from seeping out, but it didn't help. The constant flow of energy started to consume me, slowly the pressure only increased. I remembered the threatening moment between Aizen and Ichimaru.

_''It seems the alarms sounds quite _conveniently_ these days...'' Aizen said as he and 3rd Squad Taichou walked past each other._

''What is your goal?'' I asked, trying to remain as calm as I could. He didn't answer. But then again, I didn't need one. ''I'll never forget...what you said after that...''

_''Ya ain't never gon' change,'' Ichimaru said as he halted and looked over his shoulder at Aizen, ''It's th' last alarm you're gon' hear, might as well take yo' time 'n' listen. Pretty soon, ya ain't never gon' hear it again.''_

''Aizen wasn't enough for you?'' My voice was starting to shake in anger. ''You also have to make Hinamori suffer...'' I couldn't help but grit my teeth at my next words. ''...And to use Miyuki for that, no less!'' I looked at Miyuki's unconscious form with knitted eyebrows.

''Taking a target who wouldn't be able to hurt Hinamori...'' I balled my hands to a fist. ''...Even though her life may have depended on it! Do you have ANY idea what you made Miyuki go through?!''

''Well now,'' Ichimaru started. A breeze went by us. ''What ever are ya talkin' 'bout?''

I let my reiatsu swirl around me, making me glow with a light turquoise colour. ''I thought I told you...'' I said. ''...that if you even harm a single hair on Miyuki's head...'' I turned to glare daggers at Ichimaru. Images of Miyuki flashed through my mind. Of her smiling, laughing and happy.

_''I'm helping you because I want to.''_

_''I've promised myself to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.''_

_''You do realize that telling me to shut up is just going to make me talk more.''_

_''You cried when you said goodbye to her, didn't you, your grandmother?''_

_''I'll get my sketch book back even if it's the last darn thing I do!''_

_''I'm showing you that I need you. Happy?''_

_''I don't want you to go. All your opinions are rejected!''_

_''Toshiro.''_

_''Toshiro!''_

_''Toshiro...''_

I knew all that girl's sides by heart. She was too sarcastic, far to big of a smartass, too rude, too snappy, too manipulative, too shameless, too stubborn, too direct, too aggressive, too moody, and not a single bit cute.

She's also so predictable and so fragile, no matter what kind of tough front she creates. I know that when she wakes up, she'll be heartbroken by being so easily doubted by her dear friend.

I could feel my fist shaking in anger.

She'll crawl in a corner of a room and pull her legs close to her. She'll ask herself over and over again what she had done wrong. Tears will pour from her eyes on her miserable face.

Because that's the kind of person Miyuki was.

Her smile. It was hurt.

And the one responsible was called Ichimaru Gin.

''...I'd do something to you. You will regret not taking me seriously that time,'' I said with a frighteningly calm voice and turned to face him. I glared at him with murderous intent.

''**Because I'll give you the experience of being frozen alive!**''

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: GASP! Cliffie! To-chan is PISSED!**

**I'm typing out chapter 17 now, and let me tell you, I'm being absolutely RUTHLESS with cliffhangers. Yes, I'm obsessed ^^ Sorry that I was late with this update again ^^; I'll try to patch it up! But there were a few complications which were beyond my power this time...*sigh***

**Okay, back to business... there is no business. Except that I'm going to England tomorrow. That's right. It's SUMMER and I'm going to the RAINIEST, WETTEST, COLDEST, WINDIEST, and 'who-knows-what'est part of England. Both me and my twin are praying for salvation here...XD**

**Wow! 25 reviews! You people are seriously the AMAZING! I can't stop praising you because.. well, you ARE amazing!! You're the only reason why I write! Please never forget that!**

**hitsugayaXOX , Dragon of Twilight , waterlily777 , IkuXYori , Yuki Rein , StardustQueen , Orangesz , NeverEndingDreamEnds , rockbellrocksroll , AngelTenshi-chan , LadyAmazon , The Infamous Salem-chan , Drowning Torrent , SapphireJKH , GothicCinnamon , KazeNoSakura , Kouyan , Soulless Ghosty , XxAimTheFlamexX , Mitsuki Tsukiya , Tsukahi , KurokamiHaruhi .**

**I LOVE you all! Each tip, comment, thought, I treasured! I hope that you'll all continue reviewing so that I can know if you're happy with the chapter or not! ^^**

**A very, VERY special thanks to Dragon of Twilight, my editor of this chapter! And please, everyone- read her story 'Requiem of a Wandering Spirit'! It's one of the best HitsuXOC fics I've ever seen, and soarly underappreciated! It's really worth reading!!! (As the author of this story I COMMAND you to read it! XDDD)**

**Okay... not much Japanese in this chapter because they'd all be very confusing words XD I decided to put the translation next to word rather than a glossary. If I've missed anything, tell me and I'll give you the translation if I'm still at home! ...or after I get back XP**

**Wow, that's a lot of bold... well, I have a lot to say! XD**

**~Hate it? Love it? Review, review, REVIEW!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	9. Rotten Heart

_**Konnichiwa, minna-san! Here I am with the next chappi!**_

_**More details at at the end XD As for now enjoy!**_

-x-X-x-

**Rotten Heart**

_**Everyone has Tragedies in their lives...**_

_**...but some Tragedies are worse than others.**_

-x-X-x-

I got down to a fighting stance, my hand on Hyorinmaru's tilt and my reiatsu rising.

''No fair, Taichou-chan, suddenly saying that now...'' He laid a hand on the hilt of his sword, making me narrow my eyes. His own reiatsu engulfed him and his smirk widened.

''I-Ichimaru-taichou...'' I heard Kira's stutter.

''I'd run if I were you, Izuru,'' Ichimaru said. "Ya don' wanna die yet, do ya?''

''Don't joke around, running won't nearly be enough,'' I said, and drew my Hyourinmaru. ''Freakin' disappear, Kira!" My head was tilted downwards as I held my Zanpakto horizontally.

''And tell everyone in the whole Seireitei, tell them that...'' I gripped the tilt of my sword with the other hand as well. "Anyone who is within 50 kilometers in any direction from here... most likely won't see the next sunrise!!!"

After saying my warning, I flash-stepped above Ichimaru and brought my Zanpakto down. ''Tyaah!"

Ichimaru jumped back and I flashed after him. I swung my blade at him again, again, and again. I then tried to stab him, but he avoided that blow as well, just like all my previous ones. I didn't notice that Kira was still standing where he was before, but to be honest I couldn't care.

'' 'It wasn't me, Momo', 'please listen to me, Momo', 'I didn't kill Aizen-taichou', 'please stop, Momo', 'I'm begging you, Momo',... It was so entertainin'' ta listen ta Miyuki-chan's whimpers.'' I bared my teeth before bringing Hyourinmaru down, aiming to kill.

''DAMN YOU!'' My yell rang through the air as I repetitively tried to slash that bastard to ribbons. But he only grinned as he evaded or blocked my strikes.

''She was so scared, so alone. Ya weren't there when she needed ya the most,'' he said, his grin widening with his taunt. I glared daggers at him.

''**One more word, Ichimaru...**'' I suppressed the growl in my throat as well as I could.

''What? Don't'cha wanta know everythin' 'bout yer beloved?'' His tilted his head to the side to show his smirk, our swords still clashed. ''Should I describe how horrified her expression was?''

I gripped the hilt of my sword tighter, my knuckles turning white.

''Or how violently she trembled?''

With wrath coming through my body as strength, I pressed Hyourinmaru further against Ichimaru's zanpakto.

''How shaky her voice was?''

My fists were so tight that they were trembling.

''How she was hurting?''

I gritted my teeth, suppressing a cringe.

''The pain in her cry?''

''DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!'' With that, I pulled my sword to one side, attempting to push his blade, which was blocking me, so that I could cut his head off.

''Oho! Seeing you all flared up is a rare sight, ne?" he asked, jumping back. Soon he brought his sword back up, prepared to continue, though his smirk was permanent. The bastard dodged my next two swipes. He then jumped up the air, and I jumped up after him. After flashing him a glare, I swung my blade down at him, which he blocked. I bared my teeth and slashed my katana down twice before he manoeuvred my blade down with his, then swiped me off. I landed swiftly on the floor, but soon had to jump back before Ichimaru's katana stabbed the floor where I was standing a few moments ago. He flung his Zanpakto up, making me instinctively shield my eyes with my arm from the debris.

That dirty—!

Before I could finish my insult he jabbed the sword towards me.

''I see an opening!'' he said and his smirk widened. I avoided that blow by stepping on his Zanpakto and forcing it down with my weight. I swung Hyorinmaru for Ichimaru's head, but he jumped back. I was just close enough to cut a bit of his hair off. He landed on his feet, then pushed himself back in the air like a frog and twirled in mid-air to land on the ground swiftly. I held my Zanpakto with both hands.

''That's the Jyuu bantai taichou, Hitsugaya Toushirou fer ya,'' Ichimaru said, ''Truely th' incarnation o' a heavenly guardian said ta come along once every several centuries. And windin' 'im up by hurtin' his beloved ta boot. Abunai, abunai! (Too close, too close)''

I gripped my Zanpakto tighter and let more of my Reiatsu flow from me, the pressure spreading out. ''You're serious, 'aint ya?'' he asked as he got ready, I tilted my head down as I gritted my teeth, glaring with murderous intent.

''Ikuze! (let's go)'' I yelled as we both dashed towards each other, and clashed. I was able to nick his sleeve. For once not seeing a smirk on that bastard's face, I struck him again. He blocked me, so I swung my katana from above, his left, and again from above. He was able to block the hits, but with difficulty. He tore his broken piece of sleeve off and threw it at me, making me flick it away with my zanpakto. I widen my eyes when he came at me with his sword in a stabbing and jabbing motion with extreme speed. I blocked his blows with effort, but he was forcing me back, which was not a good sign.

''How's it, Jyuuban Taichou-chan...'' Ichimaru said. ''...to be cornered?''

I narrowed my eyes. Like hell was going to lose to this guy!

I used the sickle attached to the end of my Zanpakto to wrap around Ichimaru's sword, holding it in place. Then jumped over him, landing on one knee: now he had his back against the walls. Ichimaru pulled his sword back to release it from the chain's hold.

''Naruhodo (oh, I see),'' Ichimaru said, ''I shouldn'a underestimated... Hitsugaya Toushirou. It's amazin' how anger at it's peak can turn into power, ain't it?'' I tilted my head down slightly, closing my eyes.

''No, not yet!'' Ichimaru's smirk faded in suspicion. ''You haven't seen my wrath, bastard.'' I opened my eyes to show my eyes glowing a bright blue.

''For what you did to Miyuki...'' I stood up, ''I'll personally make sure that you can **never** lay a **finger** on her again!!!'' I released another wave of reiatsu and jumped up in the air. After holding my katana upright, I activated my Zanpakto. Ice and water came out of the sword and it reached the sky, making dark clouds envelope it.

''**Souten ni Zase**...'' I started, swinging my Zanpakto down to release the ice-dragon, and it roared. ''...**Hyourinmaru**!!!''

My glare intensified when I heard Hyourinmaru's growl, and I ordered it to attack Ichimaru by movement. Ichimaru got hit, but was able to jump out of the way before it got dangerous. I heard a brief scream and knew that it was Kira, but I didn't give a damn—I warned him and yet he still stayed.

Ichimaru landed on a roof, I appeared above him and guided Hyourinmaru to Ichimaru again, but he blocked the entire attack with his sword.

I used shunpo to dash up next to him, and wrapped Hyourinmaru's chain around his arm. He looked at me over his shoulder and I heard a distinct yell from Kira to Ichimaru.

''Owari da (It's over), Ichimaru!'' I readied my Hyourinmaru.

''Ii korose (shoot to death), Shinsou,'' he said, his eyes opening to reveal his ruby red irises. His sword's tip shot towards me, and when it was just about to pierce my eye I avoided it by blocking the blade with my own. I bent down to move behind him and his katana just kept on lengthening.

''Sure you wanna dodge that?'' he asked me, I widen my eyes in horror when I realized that it was heading straight for Miyuki. ''She'll die, your beloved.''

**''MIYUKIIIIIIIII!!!**'' I yelled out from the top of my lungs. I was about to use shunpo to dash towards Miyuki, but was shocked when I saw that Matsumoto had blocked the attack just in time with her Zanpakto.

''Matsumoto...'' My voice trailed off.

''My deepest apologies. I tried to return to the Squad building with Miyuki as you ordered, but she had managed to slip from my watch... and sensing Hyourinmaru's reiatsu, I had to come.'' Matsumoto explained in a very formal manner. ''Please withdraw your katana, Ichimaru-taichou. If you do not, I will be your opponent from here on,'' she said, the crack in her Zanpakto getting bigger from the impact.

Ichimaru's frown turned to a smirk and he withdrew his sword, it's blade then returning to its regular size. I looked down to her as she panted from holding the 3rd Divisions Taichou's sword in place. Ichimaru turned to leave even though his left arm was still partially covered in ice.

''Matte (wait), Ichimaru!'' I yelled; he looked at me over his shoulder.

''Instead o' followin' me, take care of the girl who is so precious to ya.'' He took a few steps forwards again, then halted. ''To make this more interesting for us, how about I tell you something?'' he asked. ''Kuchiki Rukia's execution, it'll be a part of a plan to destroy the Soul Society. Let's see if ya know what to do 'bout it. Because I'm beat...''

He's beat? Meaning that he was trying to find a way to stop this himself...? But that made no sense! Before I could say anything he had used shunpo to disappear. My eyes werestill staring in shock at where he stood a few moments ago, but I gripped my sword's hilt tightly before turning back to Miyuki, Matsumoto and Hinamori. I jumped down to raven-haired girl and sheathed my sword.

That was close... too close...

I pulled her in a light embrace and I didn't care that was Matsumoto watching. I was definitely going to yell at Miyuki for at least three weeks straight when she wakes up. But all that... didn't matter now...

I hugged her tighter, closing my eyes as I took her scent in to calm myself down.

It didn't matter now...

--

Miyuki was lying on a bed in a hospital room, resting and unconscious. I was sitting on a chair next to her, staring at her face intently. She looked so serene and peaceful, and slowly, my hand reached for her face, wanting to caress it. A blush creeped up my cheeks when my fingertips brushed against her skin. Soon my confidence grew and I cupped the side of her face with my hand, my thumb stroking her pale cheek. My eyes were distant as I stared down at her face—I couldn't believe how furious I was when I fought against Ichimaru. All because of this girl... since when did I go to such lengths for her sake?

I could feel the hair on the back of my neck standing up when I heard an all-too-familiar giggle. After praying that I was mistaken I looked up and saw to my dismay that I was right to suspect that my lieutenant was the one who was causing the irritating noise. My face changed its colour from tan to red, and she grinned from ear to ear.

''She's cute, isn't she, Taichou~?''

I twitched before my hand flew back from Miyuki's face. ''I-It's not what you think, I...'' Her grin only widened and my blush only deepened.

''Sooouuka, Taichou?''

''Matsumoto, don't make me demote you!''

She chuckled and nodded as she waved me off. My eyebrow was twitching at the insincere expression on her face as she walked up next to my sitting form on the chair before Miyuki. I looked down at the raven-haired girl's sleeping face, and I gently untied the white ribbon which held her hair in the high pony-tail.

''If you hadn't come... Miyuki would be...'' I couldn't finish my sentence and tightened my hold on the white fabric. ''Arigato, Matsumoto.''

''Not at all,'' she said, ''I'm just so glad that... Miyuki-chan's safe... I'm so glad...'' Her voice was shaking, so I didn't push it any further.

I then let my thoughts wonder as I looked at Miyuki's unconscious form. I had read the letter Hinamori, who was put into a separate room for Miyuki's safety, received from Aizen. The content made my blood boil but I wondered how someone could forge his handwriting so flawlessly.

Kuchiki Rukia's execution... plotting the destruction of the Soul Society...

That was what Ichimaru said this plan would be, and another thing that bugged me was that this was a way too big of a scheme for Ichimaru alone…so, is there a group of them? But in any case, if that is that bastard Ichimaru's plan... I...

My thoughts were interrupted by a hell butterfly, which gave us the news that Kuchiki Rukia will be executed 29 hours from now. I turned to Miyuki and brushed her bangs from her face, mentally apologizing to her that I had to leave before she could wake up.

''Gomen yo, Miyuki...'' I whispered before I went out the door, where Matsumoto was waiting. I then put a barrier around Miyuki's room.

''That was Kyoumon... Why put a barrier in this room?'' Matsumoto asked as I brought my hand back down to my side.

''I can't predict who might do what. It's to protect her from outside enemies.'' I said. I could sense Matsumoto's frown.

''You don't suspect that Hinamori-kun would try again... do you, taichou?" I didn't answer my lieutenant, because I myself didn't know the answer.

''Ikuzo."

We had an execution to stop.

Matsumoto and I flashed-stepped towards the building of the bigwigs, as I like to call them, discussing how we should convince them to reconsider. On the way we also saw the explosion at the execution ground, and deduced that it can only be the ryoka. But when I felt an enormous reiatsu that I didn't recognise as one of the taichou's, I must admit that I was a little uneasy.

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

I was running over the roofs, towards a building, towards the central office of forty-six, following Toushirou and Rangiku. Before I woke up in the 10th Division, I had a dream, or a vision, call it what you want. But it was so realistic that I could've mistaken it from reality. I was in a building, surrounded by people, who were in a courtroom of some sort. All those people were in pools of blood.

_They were all dead, all of them. All lying motionless in their seats, I could hear the droplets of crimson liquid falling to the ground. All I could hear was that constant echoing of the droplets..._

_And there, I saw a man, with a white Haori, his back facing me... the kanji on his back was the number 5. He turned around to face me and it was unmistakably..._

_...Aizen Sousuke._

_''Irashai, Miyuki-chan.''_

_The man who was responsible for my hell._

I had to make sure that I masked my reiatsu completely, knowing that Toushirou had taken high precautions for me as he put the barrier around my room. My long hair was flowing freely in the wind as I ran. I couldn't find my white ribbon, but that didn't really matter the slightest to me.

Why was I doing this? Why was I so anxious to see for myself what was going on?

I felt drawn into the situation; one that probably wasn't enough to risk my life for. But when I saw Aizen in my dream, I saw him as the head doctor of Wahrheit. What was the meaning of this? Were they the same person, or not? That question disturbed my mind so much that I had to find out.

I saw Toushirou and Matsumoto breaking into the central office and followed them until the last entrance, where I hid behind the door before last. I didn't know what was going on inside, but I could see that Toushirou and Matsumoto were shocked. Don't tell me that my dream was...

I widened my eyes when Kira appeared, and soon the Taichou and Fukutaichou of the 10th Division ran after the Fukutaichou of the 3rd.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I was chasing Kira on top of a roof.

''Wait, Kira!'' I said, ''Answer my question! Are you the one who slaughtered the Office of forty-six?!'' He looked at me over his shoulder.

''Iie, I just had the door unlocked and was let in to that underground assembly hall.'' His voice was a monotone throughout the whole sentence.

''Was let in?!'' I asked back with a slight growl of anger and frustration in my voice. ''By who?!'' He looked at me over his shoulder again.

''Isn't it obvious? By the Office of forty-six.'' His voice didn't change and I gritted my teeth.

''Are you trying to screw with me?! What about the seal?!''

''More importantly, are you okay with this, Hitsugaya-taichou?'' he asked calmly, but seriously at the same time. I narrowed my eyes at him in confusion. ''Rather than chasing me, you should protect Higurashi-sama.''

My eyes were wide after hearing those words. ''W-What the hell are you talking about?!'' I asked, a bit shaken up. ''Right now, Miyuki's—'' My statement was cut off by Kira.

''—Not in the building of the 10th Division anymore,'' Kira said and I gasped.

What did he mean by that?! Where was she now?!

''Hitsugaya-taichou, you put a barrier around Higurashi-sama when she was sleeping, did you not?'' he asked. ''A high-grade barrier that reflects attacks from outside; Kyoumon.''

Screw him, I already knew that!

''So you felt that she was safe in there. But the barrier can be easily broken from the inside.'' I gritted my teeth and frowned in anger. ''Higurashi-sama is now a disciple of the Renkinjutsu; a Jutsu of which the basis is to be able to flawlessly control one's Reiatsu and Reiryoku. You of all people should know that,'' he said. ''Breaking a barrier is no trouble for her. Even moving around with her Reiatsu completely hidden... is no trouble.''

''Didn't you notice?'' he asked me and looked at me over his shoulder again.

''Higurashi-sama was following behind you the whole time.''

I had a horrified expression on my face. No, she couldn't have...

...Could she?

''Matsumoto!'' I said, ''I'm leaving this to you!'' I didn't care that I was forcing this on her; I had to see Miyuki...!

''Hai! Makasete! (leave it to me)'' I turned around in alarming speed and dashed back to the office as fast as I could.

Miyuki, what are you doing?! I asked myself that question in my head, but no matter how I tried I couldn't find an answer.

Please... Miyuki, I'm begging you, be safe...!

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

I slowly stepped into the room where the forty-six resided... or at least _used_ to.

Just like in my dream, they were all dead. Even their positions were more or less identical. The chill in the air was so cold around my legs that my white leg warmers weren't enough to stop me from trembling.

I gulped. ''What...the...?''

''Irashai (welcome), Miyuki-chan.''

I was shocked and caught completely off guard when I felt someone looming over behind me and bending down to my shoulder.

''I-Ichimaru... taichou...?'' I asked. What the hell was he doing here?

''Come wit' me,'' he said before he turned and walked down the bridge. I stared at him with wide eyes in confusion. What did this guy have up his sleeve?

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I increased my speed each time my heart thumped in my chest. For some reason I had a really bad feeling that something terrible is going to happen to Miyuki...

You idiot... Why do you always go on by yourself and never tell me what's troubling you?!

Why do you always take everything up on yourself, even when you're about to break?!

''MIYUKI!!!'' I called out, knowing that she couldn't hear me.

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

I was following Ichimaru into a large, no, _huge_ room which could easily fit a city inside. It reminded me of a sacred hall of some description. There were many tower-like buildings and Ichimaru walked up the stairs of the one nearest to the entrance.

''Ichimaru-taichou, why are you taking me here?'' I asked as I followed him up. ''What is going on? Are you the one who killed the Office of forty-six?''

He stood inside the tower and ignored my last question. ''There's someone I wan' ya ta meet... actually, there's two'' he said. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

''Meet with me?'' I asked, my eyes narrowing in suspicion. Who was he talking about?

''S'right'' he answered as I walked into the building entrance myself. ''Go on, have a look.''

I could see the shadows of three people from outside the entrance. I turned around and widen my eyes at what I saw.

Aizen-taichou, alive, healthy and standing right in front of me. Even though I could've sworn to see his corpse in front of me a few days ago. A gentle smile crossed his lips.

But that wasn't what surprised me.

It was the two people standing next to him... A man... and a woman...

I slowly opened my mouth to speak, still not believing my eyes.

''O-Okaa...san...'' I said, my voice shaking. ''Otou...s-san?''

They looked at me with the kind, gentle smiles like my parents always did when I was a child. The woman had black hair that reached her shoulders, dark blue eyes and a voluptuous body. The man had black hair tied in a ponytail on the nape of his neck and dark, kind, reddish brown eyes.

They were identical to my parents in each and every way.

''It's been a while, hasn't it, Sweetheart?'' The woman said with the heart-warming voice of a loving mother... the voice of my mother.

''Sorry for leaving you alone for so long,'' the man said in my father's voice. ''I'm proud of you for holding up so well, Miyuki.''

I could feel tears sliding down both of my cheeks. My eyes were wider than ever, my irises shrunken to a mere purple dot. I clutched the black fabric of my jumper over my heart. I was so unaware of reality that I didn't know if my heart was throbbing or if it stood still in shock.

''Are you really...Oka-san and Oto-san...?'' I asked as I started to make my way to them in slow steps. ''...I couldn't find you...in the records...'' I trailed as I reached out to try and touch them.

''We just arrived in Soul Society,'' the woman said as she held my outstretched hand in both of hers. She looked at my black gloves sadly, ''Forgive us, Sweetheart...'' she whispered, full of regret.

That was all I needed.

I jumped up to hug the man and woman in a tight embrace, crying, sobbing and whimpering.

''Okaa-san...! Otou-san!'' I felt their arms wrap around me tightly to return my embrace. I buried my face in my mother's chest, just like I did long ago when I was a child. This scent... this is unmistakably mother's scent...! And father's hand stroking my head... was so warm and big...

Their touches just washed all my pain away.

My smile made my cheeks go red as tears of happiness flowed down like rivers and I held them tighter.

''Yokatta... yokatta...!'' These two were truly my parents, Ayano and Kazuma Higurashi...

_''You can't catch me, Tou-chan! You're too old!!'' I yelled as a four-year old, running around the playground. _

_My father was running after me with that funny, pissed off expression on his face. ''WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO OLD HE NEEDS TO DO TO A GEEZER'S HOME?! SO OLD HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONE SENILE?!'' he ranted as he ran after me. I laughed, and maneuvered all his attempts to catch me, but at the end, with a trick of distraction, I was caught._

_''No fair, Tou-chan! You cheated!'' He laughed in mock-evilness._

_''There are no such things as rules in a battle!'' he said, grinning._

_''It's a game, not a battle, baka!'' I laughed._

_''Oi, oi, oi, little lady! Who are you calling a baka? Those who call someone a 'baka' is a baka herself, baka!''_

_''Ara, ara, Honey,'' my mother sighed as she walked over to us, ''You do realize how childish it is to get into an argument with a child, right?'' she asked, arching a fine, dark brow. Father narrowed his eyes at her._

_''...She started it.'' Was is response._

_''No, I didn't!'' I said with a pout._

_''See, Ayano? This girl has no respect for her parents!'' I glared at him when I saw him giving me a smirk. Two can play it that way!_

_''Kaa-chan! He's being mean to me!'' I cried and jumped into my mother's arms. I could feel father flinching under his spouse's glare._

_''Ka--Zu---Ma----!'' she growled, and he promptly ran off, yelling about women and violence with my mother running after him. I laughed as I saw the smiles on my parent's faces._

_This was us; a happy, slightly extraordinary family of three._

I never thought that I could have that happiness again... After what happened...

I inwardly shook my head to rid myself of remembering those gruesome images of my parent's corpses. It's in the past now! It's this moment that counts, only this moment... I felt so content and happy hugging them. Even after twelve years, those feelings have never changed.

''You've grown to be such a beautiful girl, I'm so happy...'' mother said. ''Sorry for hurting you so much.''

''N-No! I'm the one who... I'm the one who should apologize! It was my fault that you...you...!'' I couldn't find the heart to finish that sentence.

I forgot that Aizen and Ichimaru were still standing there, but I couldn't really care about that right now. There were only us three. No one else. Just us. A family.

''Hush, Miyuki.'' Father said as he stroked my head.

''It's all over now.''

I widen my eyes and gasped when I felt a few sharp blades pierce through me. I looked down to see that two extended, lance-like fingernails from my mother and two blades which extended out of my father's knuckles have impaled my stomach. My brain didn't know what to make of the sight, with their hands and biological weapons covered in my blood.

My eyesight became bright and unclear.

''What's...this...?'' I asked feebly as I reached to touch their hands shakily with one of my own. I looked up at them to see their cold expressions as the looked down at me. My tears still flowed down. I didn't know if it was because of confusion or sadness. ''Kaa-chan... Tou-chan... What's t-this...?''

I didn't want to believe it, no, this had to be some sort of sick joke...!

But it wasn't, I realized that when they pulled their blades out. Mother's mouth came next to my ears, whispering her words slowly in a sadistic tone.

**''Sweet dreams, Miyuki.'' **

That was the last thing I heard before I feel into my own pool of blood on the floor, unconscious.

Why...?

´You stupid girl.`

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I was panting when I arrived at my destination- the residential area of the Office of forty-six. I widen my eyes, hardly believing them. Aizen was standing on top of a staircase, and raised his eyebrows when he saw my panting form.

''Howdy, Hitsugaya-kun.'' He greeted casually with his smile and waved.

''Aizen?!'' I asked, how can he be... The corpse was autopsied by Unohana, and she said that it wasn't a Gigai! ''What the... Are you really Aizen?!''

''Of course. As you can see, I'm the real thing,'' he said. ''Although, your return was much earlier than expected, Hitsugaya-taichou.'' Aizen looked over his shoulder at the woman and man both in white robes that came out the entrance. My eyes widened when I realized that the woman looked a lot like Miyuki... Was she...?!

''Seems like Izuru's diversion wasn' good 'nough,'' Ichimaru said, who was next to Aizen.

''What...What the hell are you two talking about?!'' I asked, ''And who are those two?!''

''What we were talking about was our strategy. And these two were part of it.'' he answered. His smile starting to show it's true colours now.

''Aizen...Ichimaru...how long have you two been accomplices? Since before you faked your death?!'' I asked.

''From the very beginning, of course. Since I first became a Taichou, I never once considered anyone but him, my fukutaichou,'' Aizen said, meaning Ichimaru. I didn't need to hear anymore than that.

''Where's Miyuki?!'' I asked after I turned my head to each side, but couldn't see her or feel her reiatsu. I glared at Aizen.

''Well, where could she be...''

I widened my eyes in horror and used shunpo to dash past them into the tower, and halted at the sight of Miyuki's body in a pool of her own blood. My irises were reduced to trembling green dots, my lips open in horror, my breath shaking.

Her eyes were open and lifeless... my heart stopped at the sight. ''It can't be... it just can be...!'' I stuttered in disbelief. My hands were trembling when they tried to reach Miyuki. My heart was growing inside my chest and I forgot how to breathe. I fell on my knees next to her, pulled her into my arms and shook her slightly.

''Oi, Miyuki!'' Her head just shook lifelessly from side to side. I wouldn't accept this... I _couldn't_ to accept this!

''Miyuki, wake up! This isn't funny! MIYUKI!!!'' I yelled desperately, but there was no response. My eyes stung and my vision was glassy. ''Miyuki, please... open your eyes...!'' I begged. She just lay there, motionless.

''Ara ara,'' I heard the woman say. ''I didn't think you would take my daughter's death this badly.''

I widen my eyes. Did she just say 'daughter'...?

''Sorry about that, son-in-law. Her father and I should've ground her to dust when we killed her, to avoid you seeing her like this.''

''Are you telling me that you did this... that you did **this** to your own **daughter**?!'' I asked with my voice shaking with anger.

''Call it whatever you want, what you see is what you see.'' I heard the man—Miyuki's _father_—saying dispassionately.

I carefully laid her back on the ground, and caressed her pale face, remembering the rare occasions she talked about her parents.

_''I was born in the middle of summer. And guess what, it snowed that day...I was seen as a child of bad omen because of that, but my parents didn't care. Oka-san and Oto-san were even proud of me, which is why they named me 'Miyuki'. 'Beautiful snow'...it may be a screwed up logic, but I think that does reflect the kindness my parents have given me...''_

''Miyuki...she loved you two beyond words...'' I said in a shaking voice.

_''I owe them at least that much.''_

''She seriously worked herself to death to try to find you!'' I stood up and turned to face them with my glare.

_''If I could just say a simple 'I'm sorry' to them for just one time, maybe the pain in my chest will be lighter to bear...''_

''There wasn't a single damn day where she didn't think about you!''

''...Are you done?'' the woman asked, bored. ''Working for the guy who killed us in the first bloody place is annoying enough,'' she said. Confusion was obvious on my face.

''What do you mean?!'' I asked, the man sighed, and then pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Aizen.

''That's a question this guy can answer for you, since he was the one who was in charge of the experiments.'' he said casually; my eyes showed shock within them. Aizen?

''I was a tad bit disappointed when she fled before I was finished...'' Aizen said as his smile never faded. ''...But the final experiment has finally been absolved. After all, she's just a gullible and hopeful as a normal human.'' All his words were soft and kind, in complete contrast to the meaning within them. ''They can also be irrational. She didn't account for the fact that they were sent to Soul Society too late, or that they still have their memories. Quite disappointing.'' I could feel my blood boiling in my veins.

''Really, having such a disappointment as the Chief Doctor... A human Taisan even threatened me. 'Fantasy-addicted lunatic,' he called me. You have no idea how infuriating it is when a human scum calls you that.'' he said with that damn smile of his.

I could feel a wave of anger soaring within me and I drew out my Zanpakto. The four jumped back before the pressure that I released hit them. I blew the walls out, but I made sure than I didn't hurt Miyuki with my outburst.

If there was a chance to save her, I was not going to shatter it with my blind rage!

I gritted my teeth and gave them the deadliest glare I couldmuster. ''Bankai!'' And soon I was engulfed by my frozen armour and my back was fitted with wings of ice.

''**Daiguren, Hyourinmaru!**''

Aizen jumped over to the platform I created to dodge the previous blow I sent him. I was too enraged to notice Unohana and Flamel running towards us and halted before the plateau.

All my hatred I concentrated in my glare to him. ''Aizen...I'm going to fucking kill you... for what you made her go through… **I'll fucking kill you, you bastard!!!**'' I swore. His smile was now an evil smirk.

''My, my. Hitsugaya-taichou, you're young so you may have to learn this the hard way, but...'' His eyes stared into mine. ''...Love is the emotion that makes you weak.''

My eyes flashed before I flew towards him and stabbed him while giving out a roar of anger, trapping his body in by ice of my zanpakto. I was flabbergasted when I saw Aizen in the solid ice tilt his head up to smile at me.

''What—?!'' But I was too late to notice. He was standing behind me and he had slashed me through my shoulder, faster than I could even comprehend. My bankai instantly was destroyed, and I could only stare in front of me in shock when blood sprayed out of my wound.

I couldn't understand. It was just simply...

''...Impossible...'' My voice trailed off before I fell forward. I was at the verge of unconsciousness, and saw Miyuki's body next to mine, still lifeless. I unhanded my Zanpakto and reached for her, pulling her into my arms with my last strength. I hugged her as tightly as I could and didn't care if it hurt. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck and felt my eyes sting.

Miyuki... forgive me... please forgive me...! I couldn't protect you... If I had only looked through Aizen's plan faster... if I had only been here sooner...!

I pulled her closer to me, not caring if my wounds bled more.

Memories I shared with her flashed into my mind... my most precious memories.

Miyuki... I wasn't strong enough to protect you... nor was I strong enough to fight for you...

Tears slid down my cheek and down to her neck.

This was the first time in decades since I cried. But I didn't care.

''Miyuki...'' Everything went black. All sounds were mute. All senses were numb.

The only thing aware of was that I had Miyuki in my embrace.

I never knew that her eyelids opened... revealing dark emerald.

_**--Owari--**_

**Dun dun dun duuuuun! WHAT WILL BE REVEALED IN THE NEXT CHAPPI?? EVEN I DON'T KNOW! HAHAHAHA....God, I suck...**

**A/N: I'm back from England, Newcastle to be more pecific. The weather was actually, much to my disbelief, quite... **_**nice.**_** That was the first time that had ever happened. I visited my family, and they all still have the IQ of a pee. And pees do not have brains. I think that is quite an accurate discription of their brain capacity. Yes, I know I'm mean. XDD**

**And Sweet Mother of Jesus on a bike and pogo-stick... I honestly was amazed when I got 37 reviews! You people are simply amazing. A M A Z I N G ! ! ! **

**I know that I say this over and over again, but I'm gonna say it over and over again. I only write for you!**

**Dragon of Twilight (~~~-chan!) , darkheart1992 , The Infamous Salem-chan , waterlily777 (Kawaii-chan!) , AngelTenshi-chan (Armony!) , NeverEndingDreamEnds , rockbellrocksroll , StardustQueen , SapphireJKH , Orangesz , kibafangirl11 , Ereana , ningirl , IkuXYori , KurokamiHaruhi , iv , Soulless Ghosty , Mel , Lady Chiyoko , EternalxOblivion , Cranberry , dolphinrider22 .**

**And very special thanks to Dragon of Twilight, for editing this chapter. **

**ARIGATO GAZAIMAS!!**

**If anyone would like me to reply to their reviews, you're all more than welcomed to tell me. It's just that I often get scared to reply because the last few times I did that those readers never reviewed again... God knows why... XDDD No, honestly, I'm very keen on actually getting to know you guys! And no, I'm not weird, just like to make friends. XD**

**Ok, I have finished typing the proto-types for 'The Philosopher's Stone'. That means that its... finished.**

**But a sequel is coming after it. XD I think that this will be a multi-volume story. I fancied the idea. XD I shall reveal the name of the new Ark in the next chapter! And Dragon of Twilight and I are making an author's coorperation mini-story. We'll publish it as soon as we can, so if you want to understand the plot of this specal feature with no trouble... **_**READ HER STOORRYYYYY!!!! (Requiem of a Wandering Spirit.)**_

**--**

**Okay, character looks now revealed! I found this anime character recently, and she really reminded me of Miyuki. The character is called Kotonoha Katsura (The character has insanely large breasts- please keep in mind that Miyuki isn't a mini-Rangiku XD). This is how I imagine Miyuki- it doesn't have to be yours! I just wanted to show it to you guys XD**

**There are times where I really tell myself, 'Chris, you simply write to freakin' much in the author's note...'**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide? Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	10. Reflections

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san!**

**And here we go, enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.**

-x-X-x-

**Reflections**

_**Who are you waiting for in your labyrinth of Emotions, with no exit in sight?**_

-x-X-x-

I was engulfed in darkness.

In this darkness, was a girl in a glowing barrier, her legs pulled close to her and her hair flowing in the faint light. Her eyes were closed, never opening, even when I laid my gloved hand on the surface of the barrier.

´Miyuki...`

My whisper was unheard. Her face didn't show any reaction, no twitch, nothing. I narrowed my eyes.

Her soul was withdrawn, in a coma. She was rejecting reality and shutting herself from the real world.

You stupid girl... you fell right into their trap like a fool.

Now you're making me take over this body of yours.

--

I stirred and slowly opened my green eyes. After a few seconds, the foggy mask over my view faded, and I was able to make out my surroundings. I was in the tight embrace of the prodigy my other self was in love with, his black robes were soaked with blood and I also notice that he was out cold.

Cold...

The floor was freezing, which didn't make me wonder, since it was covered in a layer of ice. After giving myself some time to synchronize nerves, my hands gently prayed his arms off, and I freed myself from his grasp. A grunt of pain escaped my lips and I held my stomach. It was the wound that Miyuki had received from her... parents. A frown creased my face when that crossed my mind. I tilted my head to the side when steps from the stairs were heard. They were getting quieter and quieter, so whoever was walking on the staircase was walking downwards.

''S-Sousuke!? You...'' If my memory serves me correctly, then that was Nicole Flamel's voice. It was filled with shock and confusion, something that I also remember Miyuki never experiencing.

''Why, what a surprise it is to see you again.'' When I heard Aizen's voice I narrowed my eyes before pulling myself to the edge of the plateau and saw the audience. Unohana, Kotetsu, Flamel, Ichimaru and...

My face twisted in disgust.

...Aizen.

''How can it be that you're—...You were _dead_! What is the meaning of this?! What's going on!? What have you done to Miyuki and the chisan?! (dwarf, kid)'' Flamel asked.

''Why, I thought you would be more cheerful to see your son alive, Haha-ue.''

'Mother'? I see...that would explain why Flamel was so depressed over his 'death'. Though this was still very unexpected.

But now when I look at them like that... they both have the same shade of skin, the same jaw line, same lips.

''You betrayed the Soul Society..._and_ you were the one responsible for the Philosopher's Stone's experimental activities?'' she asked, her voice held disappointment and sorrow. ''Explain yourself, Sousuke!'' Aizen sighed wearily, but looked up at his mother again with that smile still on his lips.

''The highest source of power there is for a Spirit to obtain are those of the Soul Reaper, an Alchemist. 'I want that power,' was what I thought first, but...'' He stopped on one of the steps mid-way of the staircase. Flamel's face showed suspicion. ''When I received the results from the tests, I realized that your body structure is a lot more malleable. So it would be possible to transmute a Philosopher's Stone into a Philosopher's Catalyst, am I not right?'' Flamel's expression showed horror when she heard the words 'Philosopher's Catalyst'. ''With that, I can gain the abilities of an alchemist and multiply it with my powers of a shinigami. By transmuting myself.''

After recovering from her shock, Flamel balled her hands to a fist and glared at Aizen. ''You're going this far... just because you want power? Just because you weren't born as a Soul Reaper!?'' I didn't know what they were really talking about, but I got the basic idea that it was a bad thing. I mentally scoffed, thinking that I sounded a lot like Miyuki just now.

''Of course.'' Flamel gritted her teeth at her son's answer.

''You're just as sickening as your father.'' She spat, her glare full of emotions. Hatred, disappointment, wrath... but there was another one which I didn't recognise.

''It's a shame that you think that, Haha-ue.'' Aizen said before Unohana stepped up next to Flamel with narrowed eyes.

''Aizen, I understand how you planned everything, but how come you could create such a flawless Gigai?'' The taichou asked.

I cringed in pain as my elbows gave in, and I fell to my side one the floor. The aching from the wounds blocked out all words that were exchanged between the three. After cursing under my breath, I clapped my hands and was about to lay them on those wounds when a voice in my head stopped me.

`Toushirou... first...´ I was surprised that Miyuki was still conscious... or at least somewhat.

´We probably won't make it much longer.` I answered. I didn't care, but I wanted to make sure that Miyuki knew what she was asking of me. She didn't give a response so I crawled over to the taichou and looked at his unconscious face. I frowned, not really understanding how Miyuki can love this kid. My palms made contact to the wound on his shoulder, and white sparks filled the air. When I removed my hands I saw that the wound had closed, but he needed proper medical attention soon. My vision became blurry and I smirked when I heard steps coming from the stairs. It was coming upwards and I heard Unohana's voice.

I guess that this is what you call 'a fortune in a series of misfortunes'.

After that thought went through my head everything went dark.

I only heard Miyuki's whispers.

_``Gomen... gomen... gomen..._

_Oka-san... Oto-san..._

_Gomen ne... Toushirou...!´´_

...That stupid girl.

But that was the last thing I heard from her.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

_''Where is she?! Where is Miyuki?!'' My voice was booming as I marched through the 4th Division. Matsumoto was next to me, trying to calm me down and hold me back._

_''Please, Taichou! You need your rest! And it would be good for you not to see Miyuki-chan right now—'' I cut my fukutaichou off with a cold glare._

_''I've damn well rested! But it seems as though I was put in a sleeping spell for three days!!!'' I yelled, furious and livid. Three days, days where I could've taken care of Miyuki. Even the ryoka group is staying here for now. Matsumoto flinched, but she didn't back down._

_''It was because they needed you to rest...'' she said, but my pacing through the division didn't stop. I kept scanning through the doors and unconsciously glaring at everyone who was eyeing me. ''I'm really serious, Taichou! You really shouldn't see Miyuki-chan right now!'' she insisted. I eyed her again._

_''And why is that?!'' I asked in a harsh tone. I could see her eyes showing pain before she looked away, as if the mere thought was too much itself. ''She isn't dead and all he wounds have healed, I don't understand why everyone's so worried!''_

_I really didn't understand; it made no sense! What happened to Miyuki? Was it that bastard Aizen? Ichimaru? Tousen? Or her... her 'parents'?!_

_We came up to a closed door and I reached to open it, but Matsumoto grabbed my wrist. I turned my head to face her again, only to see that she was frowning. This must be the room where Miyuki was._

_''Please, I'm begging you, Taichou, you don't want to do this...'' _

_''I have to, Matsumoto.'' I wasn't lying, I had to know what's wrong, I __**had**__ to. She sighed and released my wrist, allowing me to open the door and reveal a girl with long, black hair sitting on the bed, talking with a woman with crimson hair in a raster ponytail._

_Miyuki and Flamel._

_I smiled and paced towards Miyuki. She seemed fine and healthy. Everything looked normal..._

_''Miyuki! Are you all right? Are you well enough to sit up?'' I asked, worried._

_...That was until I saw that apologetic look on Flamel's face. I frowned in confusion at her before I turned to Miyuki._

_But my eyes widened in horror when she turned around to face me. Those eyes weren't their usual colour of dark amethyst, but dark emerald. _Those_ eyes were sharper; the eyebrows were trained to frown downwards as a sign of anger or confidence._

_Surprise was apparent on her face before she smirked. My eyes only widened further—this smirk was confident and sadistic at the same time. One that enjoys the horror of others, especially the ones she was responsible for._

_''Konnichiwa, Hitsugaya-taichou,'' she said in Miyuki's voice. The only contradiction was her rough pronunciation. I opened my mouth to speak, still in the state of shock._

_''Who...?'' I asked shakily. Her smirk only widened, and I could see Matsumoto looking away, not being able to continue watching._

_''You could say that I'm the other self in this body along with Miyuki; Natsume.''_

_It took me a while to process what she had just said._

_Her smirk turned into a grin._

_''Hajime mash'te.''_

--

That was what happened two days ago. Unohana and Flamel told me that she woke up a few seconds after I fell unconscious. She was already in that state of mind. Flamel didn't think it was a multiple personality disorder—she was convinced that it is another soul within the same spirit shell as Miyuki.

Because this other Miyuki, Natsume as she calls herself, was able to perform alchemy perfectly without a circle, she was the one who caused Miyuki to transmute objects those two times.

She and Flamel were trying to find a way to wake Miyuki up, but haven't had any success. The tribunal member also told us the reason why Aizen Sousuke was so keen on the Philosopher's Stones- He was her son. Aizen became bitter that he wasn't born as a Soul Reaper even though his birthplace was England, because Soul Reapers have no limits, unlike us Shinigami, or that is at least his theory. Now he plans on creating a Philosopher's Catalyst, which is an alchemic amplifier. That is created by pulling the reiryoku out of a Soul Reaper, which would mean certain death. It strengthens by absorbing more and more reiryoku from other Soul Reapers.

To pull the reiryoku out in the ideal form to create the Catalyst, the Hogyoku is required. It has the ability to drain and preserve reiryoku- That was what he planned Kuchiki Rukia's execution for, so that he could get his hands on that sphere, which he did. The Commanders of the different branches of Soul Society were discussing about the information they received from either investigations or intelligent networks. So far there were no conclusions. I didn't know the details, and neither did any the other Taichou.

But that wasn't my concern at the moment. All I could think about was Miyuki. The 'other' said that her soul was resting, and until she was ready she would be taking her place. I found that arrogance of hers, to think that she was capable of replacing Miyuki, intolerable.

Natsume was identical to Miyuki. They looked like twins, like reflections. But they weren't the same. I couldn't stand this girl. I hated her.

Always haunting me with the fact that Miyuki's soul needed to recover because I couldn't protect her with that disgusted tone...

And... it's because of her I couldn't see Miyuki now.

--

''Oi!'' I yelled rudely as I stomped after Natsume. She was walking down the hall to meet Flamel again for her training and halted. Bored, hard emerald eyes glanced at me over her shoulder.

''Nani yo (what is it), Taichou-san?'' she asked. I glared at her.

''When are you finally going to disappear?!'' She sighed in annoyance at my yell and continued walking.

''I'll think 'bout it after her soul heals. Being stabbed by yer parents ain't exactly a joy-ride, especially not fer Miyuki with all she's been through,'' she said. I gritted my teeth.

''What do you mean 'think about it'?! Return her this instant, you—!'' I was cut off by her twirling around to face me. Those serious, sadistic eyes boring into my own.

''Hitsugaya-taichou, it's not that I don't _want_, it's that I _can't_. Miyuki isn't strong. She was **forced** into situations and was **forced** to get through them all. But there's only so much she can handle until she breaks down,'' she said. My eyes were wide - this was the first time she had ever told me anything in a serious manner. ''Since she is unable to become psychotic, the complications of sanity will make the process longer. And I won't leave her in your care until I'm certain...'' She didn't finish her sentence and turned around to walk out the hall. ''I've already said unnecessary things,'' she said under her breath. I reached an arm out.

''Matte! (wait) Until you're certain of what?!'' I wasn't trying to push down the frustration in my voice.

''That is what you need to find out.''

I gritted my teeth again and let my hand fall limb on my side and turned around, but didn't walk to leave yet. A battle was stirring within me to calm myself down.

''Chigau, (you're wrong)'' I said flatly. I could hear her steps halting and I crossed my arms in my sleeves. ''Miyuki's strong.'' After saying that, I walked ahead, leaving her in the hallway.

_**-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

I was walking in darkness. Towards a faint light in the center. It didn't radiate brightly, it was a simple illumination, it's soft, white glow was like the shine of the moon. When I came closer to it I could see that it was a girl who was in this glowing barrier.

It was Miyuki, my other me.

She was unconscious and had her legs pulled to her. Her long, black hair flouting in this light. I laid a white-gloved hand on the barrier and frowned, she hasn't improved since the last time I checked on her. She was still blocking out everything and piecing her soul together on her own.

I could feel Miyuki's emotions flowing into me from touching the barrier. Guilt. Confusion. Fear. Sadness. Pain.

She didn't want to snap out of this because she didn't want to face reality anymore. She was sick of it, to the point where she could only drown herself in tragedies instead of remembering the cheerful aspect of life. I was angry. What a childish fool! Still clinging onto her parents, her past, when her present was mourning over her!

´´Don't you even understand what you're doing?! Are you willing to trade your happiness for mere, unexplainable guilt?! Fusaken 'na!!! (don't joke/fuck around with me)`` My outburst was left unanswered. I balled my hand on the barrier to a fist and had to resist the urge to bash it.

If this keeps on going, she may never wake up.

''Still no improvement on Miyuki?''

I opened my eyelids to reveal my dark emerald eyes. They stared into bright ones that belonged to the woman who asked me that question. I shook my head at the crimson haired woman, who sighed. I've been training with Flamel in hopes of improving my concentration to see Miyuki inside my mind, so that I could have a constant overview of her condition. I didn't need any training for Alchemy because I already mastered it - I had the knowledge to transmute ever since I could remember... But there wasn't much _to_ remember. I just started having the capacity for judgement as Miyuki witnessed a transmutation for the first time- when Flamel transmuted that sword on the day she arrived.

Ever since that moment I was aware of being 'myself'. That I wasn't Miyuki. And from then on I had copied all of Flamel's abilities just by watching her training.

But I lost the ability to copy and store techniques when I 'took over' Miyuki's body. Flamel had performed other arts and I wasn't capable of mimicking them, which made the alchemist wonder if I only had this gift when watching from Miyuki's perspective instead of my own. However it was also possible that I've lost this talent altogether.

I was worried about that girl; the trauma of her parents really took a toll on her. When I woke up in the Taichou's arms, Aizen was telling us about his intentions and escaped to the execution grounds. But I was informed that he had escaped to Hueco Mundo along with Ichimaru and Tousen after this assault on Kuchiki Rukia. Miyuki's soul was now withdrawn - if it weren't for me controlling this body she would be in a coma.

Miyuki was the only presence that existed for _me_. She was the only person who meant something to me because of that. The feelings she has for all the people she interacts with are not mine, they're only hers and hers alone. I don't care for Matsumoto Rangiku, Hinamori Momo or anyone else.

Nor did I share the feeling of love Miyuki had for Hitsugaya Toushirou.

My whole being existed only for her, and I cared for no one more than her. One could say that my feelings for her were comparable to those of a sister.

But because of that I felt anger towards Hitsugaya Toushirou.

It was because of his foolishness that Miyuki was reduced to this state, but I knew that she wouldn't even dream of blaming the taichou. That was why I won't let her be with him again until I'm certain that he understands what it means to protect Miyuki. Not how to protect 'someone', or 'anyone', or 'everyone', but Miyuki.

I won't stop until I hear his resolve.

I closed my eyes and saw darkness around me again; Miyuki was still in her glowing barrier. I frowned when I looked at her face.

But he wasn't the only one at fault, though.

Miyuki...

This happened because you didn't open your heart enough as well.

I opened my eyes to gaze up the sky. _''You're not Miyuki-chan. It's not you who I need to show sadness to.''_ That woman's words, Rangiku Matsumoto I think she was called, rang through my head. She was the only one who phrased that in such a way that I actually remembered it. I smirked. It's really interesting on how people vary. Toying with that prodigy was also quite entertaining.

''You should stop tormenting the chisan.''

I looked up again from my sitting position to see that Flamel had crossed her arms and was looking out to the horizon. We were on a high, open balcony that had a good view of Seireitei. After standing up I tilted my gaze to the sky.

''And why would you suggest that?'' I asked; she turned to look at me.

''He has a good control over his emotions, but that doesn't mean that he won't release them once in a while, especially when it comes to that girl,'' she said.

''So you think he's gonna try and kill me? In this body?'' I faced her, and had that all-knowing smirk on my lips.

''But don't you think that the kid's been through enough?'' I blinked at her words in shock.

''Did I just hear you proposing the idea of being merciful? What the hell happened to you?''

''My son's betrayed his comrades, deceived all his subordinates, killed many innocent people and is trying to turn the world to a living hell. What's your story?'' she asked casually. I scoffed and looked at the horizon.

''Warui na, but I'm afraid that I can't have any sympathy for you in that matter. It was your son who put Miyuki in this situation in the first place.''

''Aren't you a bit direct?''

''Just being practical.''

''Completely different from that sarcastic brat Miyuki, aren't you?''

''Sarcastic? You've never seen her being sarcastic!''

''She's been thinking sarcasm with me involved.''

''How the hell do you know that?!''

''The eyes reveal many things about people.''

''...You're scary,'' I said, and scoffed. She scratched her head, thinking.

''But to be honest, what interests me the most is why you're so willing to return Miyuki as soon as possible.'' She looked at the horizon again after asking that question. This woman really was nosy, wasn't she?

''Why do you find it so interesting?'' I wasn't eager to know, but I was curious at why she was wasting her thoughts on subjects like those.

''To be frank, if I were in your position, I'd just run off with that body.'' I snickered at her explanation, and she gave me a glare.

''Don't laugh in such an ironic way, it makes me mad,'' she said and crossed her arms. ''I can't let you go until sunset- you _do _want the Taichou to think that I'm training you hardcore, right? So tell.'' I sighed in annoyance, but there was nothing to hide, and there was nothing I could say against her statement.

''I don't know. I just want Miyuki to be happy, and I don't feel the desire to be the dominant one of this body, I'm perfectly content with just being a voice in the back of someone's head.''

''...Sad thing, aren't you?'' I twitched my eye at her comment.

''Shaddap, ya old hag.'' The next thing I knew punches and kicks came flying at me from the insane alchemist. After cursing and insulting, I threw my own attacks back at her.

Our sparring was interrupted by a meek voice.

''Mi-...Natsume-dono...Flamel-sama...'' The alchemist and I turned our heads to see the 5th division fukutaichou approaching us with hesitant steps. I raised my eyebrows when I saw her.

''Hinamori Momo-fukutaichou, what are you doing here?'' I asked, but she looked down, as if she didn't dare to look up. Flamel scratched her head and sighed.

''I'll be going now, I have... _matters_ to attend to.'' she said before walking towards the 1st division grounds, but my stare never flickered from the brunette. I could see the black bags under her eyes, but they weren't nearly as bad as Hitsugaya Toushirou's.

''How's... How's Miyuki...?'' she asked in a shaking voice. This was the first time I've seen her since I was the one controlling this body, but it seems as though she was informed about the situation.

''...If it's a reassurance you want, then I can't give that to you. It's known that Miyuki's condition is uncertain.'' She flinched at my harsh answer. Tears starting forming in her eyes.

''I'm... I'm sorry...!'' She slumped to her knees and bowed down in a nearly pathetic position. ''...I'm sorry, I'm sorry...!'' Her sobs and hiccups were clearly heard. I felt a tug coming from Miyuki's soul and I frowned. She'd always do that when something significant to her is happening. The more powerful the emotion is, the more powerful the tug. And this one wasn't enough to make a connection with Miyuki. But I could tell that she wanted me to stop being so cruel, just like with Hitsugaya.

''Stop apologizing, you can do it later. Don't give up on Miyuki now.'' She looked up at me with wide, tear-filled eyes. ''You understand?'' I asked with narrowed eyes.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I sighed again when my hand ran through my hair and stopped at my forehead and rubbed it. My body was screaming for me to go to sleep, but I was so worried that Miyuki might wake up during my slumber. My mind was always wandering around her, to the point where it was frustrating. I was used to having Miyuki around me at all times, there wasn't a day for nearly four months where she wasn't. Until a week ago.

She left a massive gap in my life.

A scoff escaped my lips. I was happy when she was near me and I honestly thought, 'I could get used to being with her forever'.

But now, we weren't even sure if she'll ever wake up. Just merely thinking about it made my heart ache.

Her smile...

Her laughs...

Her presence...

Will all that... fade to white?

I slammed my fist on my desk, making some paperwork sweep away and creating a mess. My penholder fell over and so did my teacup. I watched the green liquid soaking the a few pages of paper; what I had written in black ink was smeared. But I didn't care.

I held my hand up to my face, covering my eyes as I gritted my teeth.

''Dammit... Miyuki...!''

--

''W-What the hell is this!?'' Was what I had to say when I saw Matsumoto, Kira and Hisagi on the floor, drunk and passed out. The two men were in underwear and I could see their legs... twitching? I leave Matsumoto alone for a few minutes and she single-handedly creates chaos! It was starting to get dark, and it was obvious that they've been drinking for a while now.

''S-Save us...'' Was all Kira said before he ceased all movements and was officially out cold. I jumped when I saw Matsumoto suddenly sitting up and gasping.

''Oh God! I thought I was gonna die!'' the slightly drunk Matsumoto said. I turned to face her with alertness in my eyes.

''What the matter, Matsumoto?'' I asked, she looked up at me with a surprised expression.

''Didn't you know, Taichou? When I sleep facing down, I can't breath.'' My face fell into obvious annoyance and looked away.

''I don't wanna know.'' She pouted as she looked down at her ridiculously large chest.

''But if I sleep on my back they pull left and right and it hurts...'' My eyes twitched and I could feel a distinct pulse in my head that only came when I got extremely pissed off.

''Damare!''

''Let the woman have her fun, you maniac.'' I felt a growl creeping up my throat when I heard _her_. I glanced to the side and saw that she was sitting on a chair with her arms crossed and one leg over the other. I glared at her.

''Don't you dare tell me what to do,'' I said with a snarl in my voice. She smirked.

''Yare yare, so angry,'' she said as she stood to walk out of Matsumoto's room and into the office. My leer never flickered when I followed her out.

''How is Miyuki?'' I asked and she plumped onto the couch.

''Same as before. And guess who's fault it is,'' she said and I grimaced. Even if I did hated her, even if I shouldn't take her words seriously because of that, I knew that she was right. ''Oh yeah, that's right! It's YOURS, Hitsugaya-taichou-san!'' she said with a sadistic grin on her face. She laughed ironically when she saw my fist shaking. ''If Miyuki dies, it's because of your incompetence, you fool. She trusted you; did you know that? She trusted that vow from the very bottom of her heart- and what did you do? You failed her.'' I flinched at that. She stood up and walked closer to me, and I only glared at her, but I was sure that she caught that miserable glint in my eyes.

''Shut your damn mouth,'' I said when I pushed down a growl in my throat. Her grin only stretched.

''Did I hit a nerve? Oh, wait! I always do,'' she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. ''It's right for you to feel miserable, because you couldn't even protect Miyuki. You couldn't do _anything_ for her, not. A. Single. Thing.''

I knew what she said was right, everything, everything was true. But I... I can't take this anymore!

Before I knew it I had grabbed Natsume by the collar and looked at her in the eye with furious eyes. She raised her eyebrows in mild surprise at my reaction.

''I... I already know that!'' I said and tilted my head down, trying my best to suppress my trembling. ''...It was my fault that Miyuki...'' I could feel Natsume's eyes widen on me.

''It was naïve of me to think that I could protect always protect her...'' I said, my head still not looking up. ''It's not possible to protect someone from everything...'' Natsume didn't say anything, she didn't even make a sound. I saw Matsumoto coming into the office, but I couldn't afford to break my gaze to the ground.

''It's because of that unrealistic vision I wasn't able to protect Miyuki...'' My head tilted back up to face Natsume. ''BUT THAT IS FOR ME AND ME ALONE TO FEEL LIKE CRAP ABOUT! I DON'T NEED YOU TO REMIND ME THAT IT WAS MY FAULT! I KNOW THAT, GODDAMMIT!''

Natsume still didn't make a sound, she just looked at my glare with calm eyes.

''I know that...'' I repeated my statement. ''I can't protect Miyuki from everything...'' My eyes narrowed, ''But I'll get closer to that ideal, and I'll definitely protect her from the things I **can**! I don't need your lecturing; I can beat myself up fine on my own! You got that, wench?!''

My eyes were wide with surprise when I saw a smile on her face. Not a smirk, a smile. It was small, but it was there.

_**-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

I was... I was impressed. He realised his mistake, and with that he can improve. Amusement lit in my eyes when I saw the surprised expression on his face. I must have been smiling.

Like this he was _able_ to take good care of Miyuki. I guess that there was no reason to push this act any further, or to even bring it up anymore - he understood the reality of the matter and his resolve was made. To think that his answer was even better than mine...

''...Yeah, I got it, you loud captain.''

_**-Owari-**_

**And this is a special feature, celebrating the 10th chapter of 'The Philosopher's Stone'! It's equivilant to one of those 'negative/minus' chapters from the manga; just a little side-story which happened earlier on but wasn't shown in the main story-line. **

-x-X-x-

**Only You, Miyuki**

_**Until the day I die,**_

_**This smiling face will have to stay with me without fail.**_

_**-Hitsugaya Toushirou**_

-x-X-x-

_''Happy Birthday, Miyuki!'' Flamel said in English, handing me a package._

_It was a book, titled: 'Alchemy intoduction for the hopeless'. After sighing, I looked up at her with arched eyebrows, and we both laughed._

_--_

_''Otanjou-bi omedetou, Higurashi-chan!'' Hinamori said with a bright smile as she handed me a box wrapped with pink paper and a red ribbon. _

_Hinamori gave me the cocking book I had been looking at when we walked past the book store in rukongai._

_--_

_''Hn. Tanjou-bi omedetou, Higurashi.'' FonShaoLin threw me an orange packet before walking off, seemingly embarrassed. _

_''Arigato, FonShaoLin-taichou!''_

_''It's SoiFon! My name's SOIFON!!!''_

_From _FonShaoLin_ I got a red, chinese cloth-belt; the ones you tie around the waist. She must have remembered when I mentioned that I found red, chinese clothing attractive._

_--_

_''Otanjou-bi omedetou, Yuki-chan / Mi-chan!'' Ukitake and Kyouraku said in perfect canon (except for the name), and looked down at me with kind smiles as they each handed me a present._

_Ukitake had given me a stuffed animal- a white lion. I had blushed furiously when he said that I should hold him close when I sleep, as if the stuffed toy were Toushirou. (The name 'Toushirou; literally means 'winter lion's son')_

_And Kyouraku had given me a bottle of 'weak & smooth' sake. There didn't seem to be a law which says that minors aren't allowed to drink. I sighed at this typically obvious present when I received it - but I was happy to have it nevertheless._

_--_

_''Otanjou-bi omedetou gozaimasu, Miyuki-kun,'' Unohana said with a kind voice and a friendly smile as she gave me a bouquet of beautiful flowers. As expected of the legendary flower-arranger, Unohana Retsu-taichou._

_--_

_Today was my birthday; right in the middle of summer. Though they really didn't need to, I was of course happy that I received these presents from the shinigami._

_Rangiku bounced over to me with that bubbly smile of hers before giving me a bone-crushing hug. ''Happi Burthudai, Miyuki!'' she said in attempted English. An amused smile crossed my lips when I remembered that it wasn't as nicely pronounced as Flamel's phrase._

_''And for your present you must come with me!''_

_--_

I sighed. I sighed in dread. In exhaustion.

And groaned when I felt Rangiku grab me by the arms. ''Oh, this shop looks cute! Let's GOOOOO!!!'' And with that I was mad-handled like a toy as she dragged me over _another_ goddamn clothes shop, her arms completely burried by shopping bags. Yes, that was how many bags she was holding.

''Rangiku, for crying out bloody loud! This is the 67th shop we've been into, and all you've been doing is buying me random stuff!'' I said, exasperated. She ignored me as she placed me on the spot and ran around the rails for clothes. The assistants greeted her with her name; she was obviously a popular costumer... just like with the other few hundred shops in Rukongai.

''So? Nothing wrong with a couple of pretty girls shopping for pretty clothes, right? It's your birthday!'' she said, continuing her search through the clothes. I sighed.

''But why are you buying so much? And we've been out for a long time now...'' I crossed my arms, but gulped when she turned around, showing me her immense collection of kimonos. I shook my head. ''No, no, no, no, Rangiku! You know that I can't stand Kimonos! I despise Kimonos! I spit on Kimonos!'' I unfolded a little drama as I tried to make a run for it, but was held back by the fukutaichou.

''I don't think so, Miyuki~'' I gulped as I listened to her sing-song voice and she pulled me over to a changing cabin, much to my chargin. I waved my arms about, in hopes of breaking free. Absolutely no way - that was what her grip said.

''Don't you dare, Jyuubantai fukutaichou Matsumoto Rangiku!'' I said with a warning finger, and she giggled as she pushed me into a cabin, closing the curtins behind her as she eyed me evilly.

''Feel the wrath of having Kimonos put on!''

Trust me, it's a lot more frightening than it sounds.

--

I narrowed my eyes in annoyance as I observed my purple sleeve - over-sized in my opinion but according to traditional Japanese clothes this was the standard. I was wearing a purple kimono with white, sakura-imprints on them. White obi, along with a black haori with the matching patterns. It was a set. And Rangiku topped it off, much to my dismay, with tying my hair up in a loose, but neat bun. Considering the length of my hair, she did an impressive job. Though I was distracted by the pattern of the white sakura of my new kimono. The pattern really reminded me of a cartoon I remember seeing when I was a little kid... hm, which one was it again?

''I'll go get taichou! He has to see this!'' Rangiku said excitedly as she ran into the 10th division building, towards the office, with those monster bags around her arms.

It was now nighttime, and yet she still wasn't knackered from a whole day of shopping frenzy. But I was too preoccupied with remembering that cartoon I was trying to remember - only the word 'taichou' registered in my mind. Because I had a photographic memory, I was used to being able to just retrieve a memory just like snapping my finger. Then now and again I need to ponder a bit before I do recall something; during that time I would refuse to interact with anyone, or to think of anything else before I remember what I wanted to remember. Yes, I know I'm stubborn. Yes, I know that I sometimes lack in common sense.

Without knowing it I had completely avoided walking into the division entrance, and was walking around the building instead. My arms were crossed, and my head tilted down as I observed the white flower with knitted eyebrows. Come on, come on, it's on the tip of my tongue! What was it...?!

I was in the 10th division garden. For some reason my legs always brought me here when I'm not paying attention. I gazed at the pond; more accurately at the reflection of the moon. It was fuller than the half-moon, but not quite a full moon. Nothing of special meaning. The stars were sparkling as well, but I've seen more stars in the sky than tonight.

As the hotaru (fireflies) gathered over the small pond, I allowed my mind to work again. I was not going to move or do _anything_ before I remembered that freaking cartoon!

It was a cartoon from Disney pictures... but they made so many cartoons! Just which one was it!?

''...Is that you, Miyuki?''

I blinked when I registered the voice, a small smile curling my lips as I heard the steps over grass behind me coming closer.

''Obviously. Do you honestly think that you'd find another babe like me hanging around your division, Toushirou?''

''...Definitely Miyuki,'' the captain said, and I could practically hear his smirk. I blinked. Wait a minute. I just swore to myself that I wasn't going to do anything until I remembered that movie, and I unconsciously just threw that resolve away when Toushirou came along. Damn, I really needed to get my priorities set more firmly when that guy was around.

''Mind telling me what you're doing out here for?'' he asked.

''Remembering.''

''Remember what?''

''A cartoon.''

''...A cartoon?''

I smirked in amusement. ''Yes, a cartoon.''

Even though he was behind me, I could tell that he was shaking his head. His tone held a chuckle when he spoke. ''As weird as ever.''

''I'm just unique.''

''And un-cute.''

''That's because I have a character.''

This time he laughed for a moment. A genuine, merry laugh. My eyes were wide when my heart skipped a beat, and I blushed. I was grateful that my back was towards him. ''I'll give you that,'' he said, his voice still full of laughter.

I scoffed, and after I was certain that I had suppressed my blush, I turned to look at him over my shoulder with a cheeky smile. Now I was finally looking at his face and at those teal eyes I fell in love with. ''Aren't you going to say something along the lines of: 'that's is a nice kimono'?'' At first he blushed, and looked away, obviously embarrassed, even though he tried his best to hide that.

''Iie. Because it's not done yet.'' I furrowed my eyebrows at that as I tilted my head to the side. I was confused and I wasn't shy to express that. He pulled a black box out of his sleeve. My eyes widened at it. When he opened it to reveal a flower comb, which was set in the soft, velvet interior. The comb itself was a very dark, nearly black wooden color; the back had the form of a half-circle. A lone, white sakura blossom was attached to the back of the comb, the tips tainted with a golden color.

It was simple piece, but it was also beautiful.

My eyes were wide when his hand, trembling slightly, reached for the comb, and he looked back at me. Blushing and frowning slightly, he slowly and carefully slid the flower comb into the bun. I was surprised at how good he was at this, but before I could ask about it he tugged my shoulders to turn me around. His mouth was pressed in a thin line and his brows were furrowed as he blushed. He seemed to be having a debate with himself. After a few moments he just shook his head slightly gave me a weak smile.

I gasped when he brought one of his hands behind my back and pulled me close to him. He face was pressed against his chest and his other arm was around my shoulders.

''T-tanjou-bi omedetou... Miyuki.''

His voice was husky, and I found myself blushing deeper as I softened my eyes and returned the embrace. But soon something lit up in my head; that comb also seemed familiar... well, it did have the same design as the sakura pattern of the kimono... I barely felt him tightening his hold on me and burying his nose in my neck in my stage of thought. Then all of a sudden, it just clicked instantly; and I pulled back, realization finally dawning on me.

''Now I remember! It was 'Mulan'! The sakura reminded me of Mulan!''

After a few moments I realized the damage I had done. Toushirou just looked at me, flabbergasted and dumbfounded. His arms were still up, where he held me in his embrace; he was too shocked to let them fall to his side. I covered my mouth, trying my best to hide my muffled laugh at his expression. He blushed heavily and gave me a flustered glare.

''Quit laughing!''

''G-G-Gomen!''

He narrowed his eyes at me, pouting slightly as he crossed his arms. ''You do realize that you have horrible timing, right?'' he asked as he arched a brow. I smiled apologetically.

''Warui, warui...(my bad)''

He sighed. ''You _completely _ruined the moment.''

''Suman! (forgive me)''

''Bakayarou.''

''...I'm not apologizing for that.''

And amused smile crossed his lips before he scoffed. I raised my hand and allowed my hand to softly trail over the comb.

''Where did you get this?'' I asked, and he sighed as he walked over to the pond.

''Does it matter?'' he asked nonchalantly. I followed him over to the pond and looked down at our reflection. I smiled when I observed comb, and suppressed a blush when I looked at the two of us. I glanced at Toushirou's reflection, and his expression seemed rather... off. I sighed.

''When Rangiku got this,'' I said, lifting my arm up to show him my sleeve, implying on the kimono-set, ''She went over to the counter and said something along the lines of, 'the special order from the kid'.''

I could see him twitching before he turned to me with an outraged look on his face. '''Kid'!? She called me a kid?! Just who the hell does she think she is—'' He blinked when he realized that he just gave himself away in the most ridiculous manner imaginable. The corners of my mouth curled up, and I arched a suggestive brow at him, making him face me with wide eyes. Soon he started waving me off animatedly. ''No, no, no, it's not what you think! It's nothing like that!'' I crossed my arms and turned my body around to face him completely.

''Ou, souka? (Oh, is that so?)'' I asked, making it obvious that I was utter unconvinced as I smirked. He narrowed his eyes at me, blushing.

''Sou da! (Yes it is so!)''

I chuckled, and his mouth was pulled in a thin line again. ''Thank you for the kimono... it's beautiful.''

''I said I didn't get it for you!'' he said, fumbling.

''Lesson number one to a successful lie: Never sound so desperate to bullshit someone.''

''Well y—... Urusei!'' With that, he crossed his arms and looked away, thoroughly embarrassed. I smiled slightly at his typical behavior, admitting to myself that was the closest I would get to a confession from that stubborn prodigy.

''You know, I dislike Kimonos...'' I said, looking up at the moon, and I saw him glancing at me from the corner of my eye.

''That's because you've never worn one before.''

My eyes widened. But soon I scoffed and smiled.

''...I guess you know me better than myself at times.''

I earned a chuckle from the captain, and his gaze followed mine to look up at the star-filled sky. We just stayed like that for a moment, the two of us, standing next to each other, looking up at the moon.

''Oi...'' I turned to look at him with raised eyebrows when I heard him interrupting the silence.

''Hm?''

''...What the heck is a 'Mulan'?''

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: I will from now on be updating a lot more often than I usually do... so, some people will be happy, and some people will be very angry. XDD**

**28 Reviews! (And a PM!) Thank you so much!!! These are the people who made my day...**

**Dragon of Twilight , SapphireJKH , darkheart1992 , RubberduckyillaAndShuuhei , Orangesy , StardustQueen , waterlily777 (Kawaii-chan!) , EternalxOblivion , LadyAmazon , BeautifulXinXBlood , Mistress Meer , kibafangirl11 , NeverEndingDreamEnds , AngelTenshi-chan (Armony!) , rockbellrocksroll , IkuXYori , Iza-chan Amorim , Sweet Nightmare's Good Byes , The Infamous Salem-chan , Midnight Mel , Mitsuki Tsukiya , Cranberry .**

**And a very special thanks to my beta, Dragon of Twilight! And this would be the third time when I say,**** PLEASE READ HER STORY, 'REQUIEM OF A WANDERING SPIRIT'****! Come now. If you like my story, then that means that you have my taste. So if I like that story, shouldn't you too? XD Please!! Pretty please!! **

**Should I do a side-story again? Tell me what you think! Not knowing is a confusing feeling. . . XDDD You people are the my reason for writing, and you are my inspiration. Every single one of you. There are no exceptions. Don't roll your eyes, thinking, 'Yeah, right.' I'm serious!! **

**And if you don't believe me, then fine! *pout* XD**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?**

**Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	11. Irreplaceable

Haha, I told you that this would be quick, right? Anyways, more randomness at the bottom as usual. Until then, enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.

-x-X-x

**Irreplaceable**

_**There is only one 'you'. **_

_**There is no such thing as your replacement.**_

_**So please... don't fade.**_

_**-Hitsugaya Toushirou**_

-x-X-x-

''Ahh!'' I groaned as I stretched, still sitting on the bed, Miyuki's bed. My eyes narrowed out the window grumpily, it was still nighttime, and I couldn't sleep. Hitsugaya's outburst a few hours ago surprised me up until now, and I was somewhat glad that I could rest assured; he'll be able to protect of Miyuki. With another yawn I stood up and walked towards the door of her room. After a tug from my hand it slid open and I made my way out of the office, down the hall.

Tossing and turning aimlessly was quite convincing that I didn't need any more sleep.

As I tightened the white kosode around me I thought of a good place to look at the stars. Sitting on the roof was my fist choice. A small smile crossed my lips when I realized that Miyuki would've probably preferred to go under a tree, since she's a little vertigo.

I sighed wearily when I noticed that Miyuki's condition still hasn't improved. If anything, she was getting _worse_.

My grip on her soul was fading; she was slipping through my fingers. And there was nothing I could about it. My words couldn't reach her anymore.

Absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't notice the pair of turquoise eyes following me, or even the steps of their owner.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

_''Say, Toushirou, can you communicate with Hyourinmaru?'' I looked up from my paperwork at Miyuki, who was staring at me from the couch. _

_''Of course.'' I tilted my head back down to face the dreaded pieces of paper._

_''How? Telepathically?'' I placed a finished document on one pile before answering her._

_''Yeah.''_

_''How often do you two talk to each other?'' _

_''Occasionally,'' I answered before writing on one of the sheets. _

_''How often is 'occasionally'? Once every hour? Once every day? Once every week?'' I sighed before looking up from my desk again. My eyes were half-lidded to communicate both boredom and annoyance._

_''Barely ever and irregular.'' I didn't bother to continue with my work because just from looking at that girl's face, I knew that she was about to ask something else. And I was right. Surprise._

_''What's Hyourinmaru like? Character-wise.'' She rested her chin on her folded arms, looking at me with those amethyst eyes of hers. I mentally gulped under her gaze but snapped out of it._

_''His personality echoes mine.'' I could see the thoughtful expression on Miyuki's face._

_''So then... that can't be it...'' I frowned when I caught the last part. Crossing my arms, I leaned into my chair and eyed the blacked-haired girl sternly._

_''Is there something you need to tell me, Miyuki?'' I asked, she smiled a bit before waving me off._

_''No, it's nothing. Just curiosity.'' I gave her a sceptical look._

_''You can tell me, you know. I'll listen,'' I said, and she looked at me with raised eyebrows before lifting her head up. She looked very surprised. I blushed in embarrassment before looking away, stiffening my crossed arms as a mental defence._

_''Did... I just hear right?'' she asked with an astonished voice, which made me snap my head towards her, giving her a glare._

_''Don't act as if I'm a heartless bastard, will you?!''_

_''I'm not it's just that...'' She smiled at me, ''...I'm glad that you treat me so specially.''_

_My face started to glow bright red and I looked away, my heart pounding louder which each thump. ''W-Well-...th-that's...You-you...I—' The words instantly died in my throat when I heard her laughing. I turned my head to the couch ahead of me, and saw that Miyuki was rolling over the green sofa. My eyes narrowed when I realized what she was doing; she was teasing me. I stomped over to her, flashing her a flustered glare._

_''Miyuki, stop laughing or I'll—!'' I could feel a lump in my throat when she looked up at me from her lied-down form on the couch. She smirked at me before half-lidding her cat eyes, which was... _extremely_ seductive. I could feel blood rushing up my face and my pulse racing._

_''Or you'll what, Toushirou?'' My blush deepened. At both her words and expression._

_''MIYUKI!'' I narrowed my eyes at her, showing my frustration with her._

_''Yare, yare,'' she said as she sat up. ''I didn't even suggest anything. But for you to act like that... You must have quite naughty thoughts in that pretty head of yours, Toushirou.'' She leaned up, coming closer to my face. Making me only widen my eyes further and blushing harder. ''Are you that attracted to me?'' My blush must've met its limit right about there._

_''D-D-DAMARE!!!'' Was the only thing I was able to say at the moment. I didn't have enough control over my mouth to say a denial._

_''Hahahahahaha!''_

_''Miyuki! Get your ass back here this instant! I swear I'm gonna get even with you!!!''_

_''How?''_

_''...__**MIYUKI!!!**__''_

My eyes opened and I was lying on my side in my bed, looking at a wall. I was... dreaming of her again. Dammit.

I gave up on sleeping and sat up, my eyes scanning around the dark room. Soon I stood up and walked over to my wardrobe.

I opened a drawer, which revealed my black robes. My hands hesitated a bit before reaching under the layers of cloth and pulling a pad out; Miyuki's sketch pad. After shutting the drawer, I sat back on my futon. My eyes trailed the pad—it was light brown and had a dark blue binding. My hand reached to open the cover and I saw the first sketches. A smile crossed my lips when I saw that the first was one of Matsumoto and myself. My fukutaichou was doing a pose with a bright smile, and I was standing next to her, arms crossed and my expression was beyond annoyed.

I carefully turned the page over to the next. This one was showing Ukitake shoving candy in my hands, and I was just looking up him, perplexed.

As I went through Miyuki's sketches I asked myself what I was doing. Looking through her book like this, why did I even steal it in the first place? I'm pathetic, trying to grasp for reassurance, trying to find something that would tell me that everything was going to be all right. From a _sketch_.

I damn that girl for having this effect on me. I damn myself for not being able to prevent the whole situation in the first place. And I damn reality for bringing this all together.

My eyes landed on the sketch that showed me smiling, and made a faint blush creeped up on my cheeks. Miyuki paid a lot of attention to the detail and shading of this picture. I could see that from the page being more worn- as if it's been rubbed over often. I remember this one from the time I first went through the pad.

_''You looked in my sketch book, didn't you?!''_

_''Why? Did you draw some nasty pictures with me nude?''_

_''HISTUGAYA TOUSHIROOUU—!!!''_

I tightened my hand to a fist at that memory.

''Miyuki...'' I unconsciously whispered her name and frowned. What was wrong with me? My head tilted up when I heard a door sliding open, and I saw the silhouette of a short girl walking out of the office. I quietly slid my door open to see Natsume walking down the hall.

_**­-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

One leg hung over the edge of the flat roof, and the other I drew close to me, wrapping a loose arm around it. I looked up and saw that it was new moon tonight; only the starts lit the sky. Each sparkled like gems in the dark background, making quite a pleasant landscape. I closed my eyes briefly, seeing Miyuki floating in a barrier, her legs pulled close to her.

When I opened my eyes again I saw the view of Soul Society.

What was going on inside that girl? Was it something too much for her to handle herself?

That I couldn't answer, but I did know that we would have to do a manual snap-out-of-it call. That means that someone would have to go into her soul and convince her to wake up, but that someone couldn't be me. I was a part of this spirit shell, but I would need to act as a guide within Miyuki's soul.

It would probably be the best idea to ask Unohana to do it, because she was the most efficient medical authority. She was also very fond of Miyuki, so I could even end up manipulating her, it would still work. I didn't care how morally bankrupt that might sound.

Unohana, Soifon, Kyouraku, Ukitake... they all tried their best to reach for Miyuki within me. But I must admit that the one who was most desperate was Hitsugaya. I sighed and shook my head wearily.

Stupid girl, causing so much damn trouble.

But it looks like we're going to have to bring her back... by force.

And whether she likes it or not, she's coming out.

Determination flashed in my green eyes.

I'll make sure of that.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I saw the small back of a girl with long, raven hair sitting on the edge of the roof. I stood a few meters behind her and even without a mirror, that my expression must have been miserable was obvious to me. Looking at her like this, I wanted to believe that Miyuki's coma was nothing but a mere dream, and that the girl before me was her. There wasn't a rough voice to prove me wrong; there weren't dark emerald eyes to tell me that she wasn't right. I had no control over my body when I silently made my way to the white-clad girl, my own attire missing its haori. She didn't twitch, she didn't move in any description and didn't say anything. Because she didn't notice me.

Miyuki...

_She_ was never able to notice me when I sneaked up from behind her.

I knew that she was in there somewhere.

My arms wrapped around the girl's frame from behind and her body twitched. I pulled her close as she looked at me, surprised.

''Hitsugaya-taichou—''

''Damare.'' I cut her off and tightened my hold before whispering in a barely audible voice. ''It's not you who I'm holding...''

I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent, and suppressed a shiver when I noticed that it wasn't Miyuki's. I was praying, hoping... that my voice would reach her. Another memory flashed through my mind, maybe as a mental comfort, I didn't know. But if I could see Miyuki again, I didn't care.

_''Hey...'' I perked my head up to see the owner of that soft voice, but looked away when she got closer. She went too far this time and I wasn't intending to forgive her for ignoring me in that manner just like that._

_''Go away.'' Miyuki stayed unfazed by my harsh response._

_''I don't want to,'' she said, and was sitting next to me, pulling her legs close._

_''I said go away!'' I was frustrated, and I didn't try even the slightest to hide it._

_''Toushirou, I'm... I'm sorry.'' I widen my eyes when the apology came so quickly, and I turned to face her, wanting to make sure that she wasn't teasing me again this time. ''I was horrible for treating you like that when you were only worried...'' I stared into those dark orbs of hers, and found no taunt or tease. She was genuinely remorseful. But there was also something else I was looking for, and after a few moments my mouth opened to speak._

_''Is that all?'' I asked, and she looked at me with a mildly surprised expression. I looked away, couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. ''...Forget it.'' _

_When I felt two arms wrap around my waist, my body twitched and I raised my arms up in reflex. My face went red when Miyuki buried her face in my chest, and I tried to retort without stuttering. _

_''Wha- ah...huh?'' I failed miserably. She giggled and looked up. I saw her facing me, blushing and smiling- that really didn't help to cool my face down; it did the exact opposite. She rested her cheek against my chest again and I re-tried my attempt to retort. ''What the hell, Miyuki?!''_

_''I'm showing you that I need you. Happy?'' I was shocked by her words, and felt her hugging me tighter. ''Besides, I had the impression you were about to walk off.''_

_''I was,'' I said flatly, trying my very best to stop stuttering, though I didn't know how that resulted. ''And I can still get out of this, you know. I'm a lot stronger than you.''_

_''Oi, oi. I just told you that I need you and don't want you to leave- and _that's_ your response? How un-gentlemanly.'' I couldn't help but crack a small smile._

_''And you're un-cute.''_

_''That's because I'm unique.''_

_''You mean weird.''_

_''Weird means different, and different means unique. But that's off topic. The point is that you're not allowed to leave me alone. _All _your opinions are _rejected_.'' As if my body acted on its own, two loose arms wrapped around Miyuki. I could hear her small gasp and I smirked; her surprised reaction was nearly as cute as when she was angry._

_''What? You're asking me to put up with you until the end of eternity?'' I teased._

_''Hey, I'm not too happy with the idea myself,'' she said. ''You're one heck of a difficult person to cope with.''_

_''You were the one who suggested it in the first place, bakayarou.'' My arms pulled her closer, and I gave myself a mock-annoyed smile when I looked down at her. She sighed wearily and snuggled her cheek in my chest again._

_''Yeah, I know. And I don't regret doing that,'' I closed my eyes and I was... oddly happy._

_''...Good...''_

_**-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

The captain held me in a close embrace from behind. I could feel his heart beat from my back, his one arm around my waist and one around my shoulders. My eyebrows were raised, but my eyes have regained their bored glint. I was starting to feel a little bit guilty for treating him so badly the past few days, when he seemed to really miss her. His heart was pounding, and his arms were shaking a little bit. I mentally sighed, poor kid.

An abrupt tug shot through my soul, making me twitch. My eyes were wide when I realized that it was Miyuki's reaction.

''Miyuki... can you hear me?'' I blinked when I heard the prodigy's words. ''Do you remember the time... when you... when you told me that you needed me?'' His voice was soft. ''You were the first and only person who ever said that to me.''

I could feel the tug again from the other soul within this spirit shell.

''But this time... Miyuki, it's me who... I...'' His arms around me tightened after he gave up trying to let his confession leave his mouth. ''Come back to me... I'm begging you...!''

The tug became stronger. I could clearly feel the throbbing in my soul. My eyes narrowed when I gave the captain a side-glance.

I shouldn't underestimate the effect they have on each other.

No more words left the Taichou's lips. He just kept me in his embrace, leaving me to concentrate on Miyuki's consciousness. I closed my eyes and saw that the barrier was glowing brighter, and I could feel a pulse echoing.

With an awareness this stable...

This is only a theory, but... with this reaction from Miyuki, then maybe it might just work...

''Taichou-san... Miyuki heard you.''

-- --

''So you are suggesting slipping into her soul and awakening her?'' Unohana asked when she gave me a thoughtful look with her blue eyes. Flamel, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto and myself were in the 4th division office. I nodded after explaining my plan. It was early in the morning and only a few hours since Miyuki's reaction. I was confident that getting her to wake up this way would be the most proficient.

''Souka. Very well, with the given situation, it looks like we have no choice.'' She stood up and walked over to the door down the hall. ''When would you be ready, Natsume-san?'' she asked when she turned to face me with a serious expression.

I stood up, brushing non-existent dirt off my black jumper, ''Anytime.'' I followed her when she gestured me to. I noticed that the three also walked after us, making me look at them over my shoulder with an arched eyebrow.

''Question: What the heck are you following for?'' I asked, only to receive a glare from the taichou.

''None of your goddamn business.'' Well, couldn't say I wasn't expecting that.

''We want to be there when Miyuki wakes up, ne, Taichou?'' Matsumoto asked with a slight taunt in her voice, as if she was sure that would be the case. Hitsugaya leered at his fukutaichou. The woman's confidence that this would work surprised me somewhat.

''One more word and I'll demote you,'' the prodigy said. Knowing why Flamel tagged along, I closed my mouth. She would need to be the one to activate the 'tunnel' between our minds. As in, she would be the one to force Unohana's soul into this spirit shell - an alchemical technique that is called a 'Soul Transmutation.'

I sighed and looked ahead again when I heard Unohana's voice, ''I shall go into Miyuki-chan's soul with your company.''

''I understand,'' I said.

--

I was sitting crossed-legged in an empty room with Unohana sitting opposite to me. Alchemical circles and symbols in black decorated the wooden floor. I looked up at Flamel after she finished the last pattern.

''I thought you didn't need circles,'' I said with a tint of curiosity in my voice. She stood up and looked at me with narrowed eyes.

''I've never done this before; I'm not taking any chances.'' I smirked at her, and opened my mouth, about to say something cocky, but Hitsugaya's outburst cut me off.

''Are you telling me that you're going to do something so dangerous without having proper knowledge of how?!'' He marched over from the corner of the room over to Flamel, who was right next to me. A glare flashed in his eyes. ''I will not permit you to treat Miyuki like a lab-rat!'' Flamel flinched; knowing who Hitsugaya was referring to—Aizen, her son. But confidence soon burned in her bright green eyes as she returned the glare with her own.

''Urusei, Chisan!'' she said. ''This is the best chance we have to save her! So don't interfere!'' Her glare intensified, ''You DO want her back safe, don't you?!'' Hitsugaya's hand twitched before clenching to a fist and he looked away. Unohana frowned slightly as she looked at the prodigy returning back to the corner of the room.

But my eyes peeled open when I saw Ukitake and Soifon standing by the door. Ukitake seemed to look concerned and worried, while Soifon had her arms crossed and her lips were pressed in a thin line. She seemed... uncertain, I'd say. I inwardly groaned - precisely those two were second to Hitsugaya when it came to nagging for Miyuki's well being. I would always answer, as friendly as I could; 'She's recovering'. After the hundredth time they still didn't get the message, where as Kyouraku and Unohana had more sense and accepted that fact. After they had reported our condition to the Soutaichou, the old man was... confused. Then again, if I had this scenario explained by Flamel, then I wouldn't get heads or tails of this either. But because my combat skills were useful Miyuki had a purpose in the Gotei 13, so one could say that this was... almost _fortunate_.

I narrowed my eyes at the group. ''Oi, oi, this ain't a show, ya know.''

''Shut up and concentrate!'' Soifon snapped, and I shrugged before allowing a carefree smile on my lips. I could feel her glare on my back... and boy, did it stroke my ego.

Hitsugaya crossed his arms and looked at the scene unfolding before him with an insecure expression. Matsumoto raised her hand, as if she wanted to put it on her captain's shoulder as a comfort, but she hesitated before retreating it.

I don't blame them for being insecure... I had no idea what would happen. A tall woman with short grey hair and shinigami robes came into the room. ''The barrier is set,'' she said, but I could see the worried glint in the fukutaichou's eyes. Unohana smiled gently at her. A barrier around the room was set so that the immense reiatsu Flamel was about to release wouldn't disturb Seireitei, or whole of Soul Society, for that matter. Philosopher's Stones' reiryoku storage was simply insane.

''Shinpai nai de (don't worry), Isane,'' Unohana said softly. Kotetsu bowed her head respectfully and took a few steps back so that she wasn't standing on the alchemic array. Flamel stood on a circle in the pattern, right next to the taichou and I. The Soul Reaper brought her hands up and looked at us with stern eyes.

''Are you two all set?'' she asked seriously. I side glanced Matsumoto and then Hitsugaya, ignoring the other two captains. The 10th division members both looked very worried, frowns on both their faces. My emerald eyes zoomed to the sapphire ones of Unohana Retsu. Though elegant, gentle and graceful, I could see the security in the woman's orbs.

''I'm ready,'' I answered and Flamel received a small nod from the taichou. The crimson haired woman took a breath and English words flew from her lips fluently.

''Three denominators which we hold! The soul, mind and body! Those which connect these and make us one, I shall separate and join together!'' She clapped her hands. ''That which connects the mind and soul, you will obey my commands! Scatter!'' With that, she smacked her hands against the floor, and the array glowed a flaring red colour. I closed my eyes and readied for impact, which came. In the darkness of my consciousness, I saw a figure materializing. Unohana-taichou.

''Oh... my...'' Her voice trailed off as she looked around the utter blackness of the place. It was her first time being in an environment like this, such a reaction was only natural, but we didn't have time for sightseeing. I turned to face a direction I knew by instinct.

''We must hurry! I don't know how long Flamel can last holding on!'' I said and flew towards the direction, followed by the 4th division captain. Soon a small light came into view.

''Is that Miyuki-kun?'' Unohana asked, and I could hear anxiety rising in her voice. Our pace only quickened and the glow became visible as a girl inside a glowing barrier. We halted before it, and I looked down at the girl with a frown.

''Yeah, it is,'' I said as I laid a hand on the barrier. I gestured for Unohana to do the same, and after her pale hand made contact with the surface, I felt a jolt run through my body before I jerked. I glanced at Unohana and judging from her horrified, sweating complexion, I knew that she got it worse off than I did. An aura started to whirl around us, getting stronger and stronger. I could feel panic rising from the pit of my stomach.

''Calm down! We're only trying to help, Miyuki!'' But my reasoning was unheard as the pulses ran through us more violently, paralysing us. What was going on?! Was this Miyuki's doing? Why? I snarled and gripped my wrist with my free hand.

''Flamel, NOW!!!'' I yelled as loud as I could, and red transmutation sparks filled the air. ''Unohana-taichou, just hang on!''

''I'm fine...'' she said in a weary voice. I was starting to ask myself why Unohana's blows were more powerful. With a grunt I pushed my hand into the barrier- the transmutation light came from me using Flamel's reiryoku to use alchemy, since I can't have access to my reiryoku here. And because of that I had the possibility of breaking this barrier. But before even a crack was made, I heard a voice booming in my ears.

_No... No... No...!_

''Miyuki?!'' My exclaim was the last thing I said before another cry was heard.

_NOOOO!!!_

A burst of blinding light made me instinctively raise my arms up to shield my eyes, and I waited until it dimmed down.

I opened my eyes again, Unohana was nowhere in sight and I saw that Miyuki was now in an upright position. The barrier was bigger to keep her standing form in. Her pale skin was glowing, which gave off the same colour as the barrier, and her hair was waving as if there was a constant breeze inside that shell. Her arms were wrapped around herself, acting as a cover over her bare body. The only cloth she had covering her were her black gloves, which created a contradiction between her skin. Miyuki's eyes were still closed, her face was calm and... unreadable. A look of astonishment appeared on my face when I saw the barrier glowing brighter before changing colour from pure white to light grey. My face morphed to horror when I saw that Miyuki was crouching over, returning to her previous position. But the reason why I was so terrified was because the barrier was filling with liquid.

_'Miyuki!' _My call was ignored or unheard, I didn't know which. Both my palms made contact with the surface, but I gasped when I realized that it was cold... I couldn't feel any emotions from Miyuki, no signals, no hints, nothing. It was now a completely closed-off barrier, even to me.

I scowled when I saw that the barrier was bow full of this liquid, but Miyuki's serene look stayed unfazed. I couldn't stop myself from slamming a fist against the glass-like shell.

_'GODDAMMIT!!!'_

I was cursing myself for allowing this to happen. Why was it that I only realized this now?! Of course Miyuki reacted like this when a complete stranger is trying to look into her heart!

Dammit...

...Damn it all to hell!

_**­-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

It was only mere seconds since they started and the red light never faded, both bodies motionless in their sitting positions. Time went by painfully slow for me; the seconds who ticked away felt like hours. But when I saw a panicked expression appearing on Flamel's face, I could feel my heart beating faster in fear. Had something happened?

Was Miyuki alright?!

''BUGGER!'' I didn't understand that English word, but it was obvious that she was cursing. I had to swallow a lump in my throat.

''What the hell is going on?!'' I asked, but was ignored. The other two taichou seemed alarmed as well, just like Matsumoto. But I wasn't alarmed; I was scared. Flamel laced her fingers in a horrific speed, and the light died abruptly. Miyuki's unconscious body fell on it's back and Unohana's to her side.

''Miyuki!'' I called out before I dashed towards the black-haired girl. Her eyebrows were furrowed, and I couldn't help but feel anticipation rising in my heart. I kneeled down next to her and brushed her black strands from her face so that I could see it. ''Can you hear me? Miyuki?!''

_**-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

''Miyuki?!''

I stirred and slowly opened my eyes. Hitsugaya was hovering over me. ''Uh...'' I groaned and saw his hopeful expression falling when he noticed the colour of my eyes. He retreated and I saw the ceiling; meaning I was lying on my back. I sat up with wide eyes and saw that Unohana was unconscious, being taken cared of by Kotetsu. Looking to my upper left I saw Ukitake and Soifon, also looking slightly downcast, but their attention was diverted to Unohana when Kotetsu panicked.

''Unohana-taichou! Wake up, Unohana-taichou!'' The fukutaichou was fumbling while Flamel was checking the captain's head for injuries. And judging by Flamel's nonchalant expression, the captain was fine. I had to suppress the urge to snap at the alchemist for not calming the tall woman down.

''Is Unohana-taichou alright?'' Ukitake asked, looking at me.

''Don't worry, Unohana-taichou will be fine,'' I said and the tall woman looked at me with insecure eyes. I nodded to confirm my words. No matter how flashy that repel was, it was merely just a repel; the chances of that being able to harm a taichou of such high standard was simply incalculable.

Ukitake kneeled down in front of me; Soifon was simply standing there, her arms by her sides as she stared at me with her dark eyes. They didn't seem to be able to say anything. Because it was me who was before them, not Miyuki.

I looked to my side and saw Hitsugaya and Matsumoto were kneeling next to me, one on each side. I could see the disappointment in the taichou's eyes, which was something he couldn't hide. I grimaced, knowing that when I tell him that Miyuki's condition has immensely worsened; he will doubtlessly throw a fit.

My eyes narrowed when they locked on the short captain, who was looking at the ground with a clenched fist. I eyed that balled hand as my eyes narrowed further.

It looks like there's no way around it... He will need to...

My thoughts were interrupted by Flamel's voice as she walked over to me. ''Natsume, what in the name of **buggery** happened?!'' she asked. I could feel all the stares boring into me, all intending to receive an answer and I rubbed my temple. I opened my mouth to answer.

''Epic failure.''

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: Waaa~!! I'm gonna have to keep the Author's Note short, because I have so much work to do DX

Sorry!!!!!

I thank all those who have reviewed!! I treasured every comment! And thank you for sending me a PM!

And a very special thanks to my beta, Dragon of Twilight!!!

on that note; I'll ask Dragon of Twilight how she managed to think of an idea for your oneshots, Kawaii-chan! Because I honestly am very interested!!!

I'm running against time for all your sakes! Be grateful!! XDD jkjk

.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.


	12. Locked In

Konnichiwa, Minna-san!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.

More randomness at the end; as for now enjoy!

-x-X-x-

**Locked In**

_**'Failure', 'Fear'. In the lives we lead, these things are inevitable. How you deal with it, however, is your true test of character.**_

-x-X-x-

_''Worsened?! What do you mean Miyuki's condition worsened?!'' I asked, bewildered. Natsume had just explained to us that the attempt has caused Miyuki's soul to be unstable, and that she was definitely in a critical situation. The reason for that reaction was because Miyuki rejected someone looking into her heart that is a 'stranger' to her- in other words Unohana. We were in her office, sitting on the visitor's sofa; the 4th division captain had just woken up and was in a resting room with Kotetsu. Ukitake and Soifon had left._

_And what Natsume had told us came down at me like bricks._

_''Exactly what I said, Hitsugaya!'' she said, annoyance clear in her voice. She ran a white-gloved hand trough her hair, sighing wearily. ''In any event, we need to redo it, it's now doubtlessly the only shot left!'' I gave her the deadliest glare I could muster. Even Matsumoto flinched, sitting too close next to my cold eyes._

_''You mean you want to make a second attempt on a method that just made everything even worse?!'' I asked, unconsciously rising up a bit from my sitting position. She frowned in an annoyed manner._

_''Damn straight, and you're comin' with me!'' My eyes were wide when those words left her mouth, ''Miyuki can only accept those who are close to her into her heart- Hitsugaya, that's a role I'm afraid only you are able to fulfil.'' She brought her hand back down on her lap as she gazed at me with serious eyes. ''Though I can't guarantee that you won't end up like Unohana... you're the best choice we've got. Flamel and I will need to calculate another formula for the transmutation circles; that'll take a few hours. After that everything will be set and ready.'' Natsume crossed her arms and gave me a hollow stare._

_''This is the only way to save Miyuki. Its up to you now, Hitsugaya Toushirou.''_

_That was when I remembered what you call the emotion that was starting a storm within me._

_It was 'Fear'._

I sighed as I re-ran that event in my head again. The first thing I did when I arrived in my office to 'prepare myself' was slumping into my chair. My fingers linked together and I leaned in. So many thoughts ran through my mind, but they all had something in common; they all revolved around Higurashi Miyuki.

I groaned as a violent headache attacked my forehead. I haven't been sleeping enough, but I had too much adrenaline in my veins to be tired. My head perked up when I saw a tea cup placed in front of me and I was surprised when I saw the one responsible was Matsumoto.

''Here. It'll help,'' she said. Muttering small thanks, I took a sip from the green tea, relishing the taste. ''...Are you okay, taichou?'' My hand slowly set the cup back on its usual spot on my desk. A sigh escaped my lips.

''...I don't know.'' I wasn't.

''Its okay to be scared.'' I twitched at her words, gritted my teeth and glared at her. All my bottled up frustration burst out.

''No, it's not 'okay'! How the hell can I save her like... like this?!'' I asked, gesturing myself. ''Tell me, Matsumoto, how?!'' That was a question not even my fukutaichou could answer. She didn't retort because she knew what I said was right, and that she was only saying pampering phrases like 'its okay' to make me feel better. I clasped a hand over my forehead, covering my eyes from view. ''How...?''

''Taichou...''

I wasn't an unrealistic person. I never allowed my mind to leave the boundaries of reality.

That was why I knew that in this state, there was no way I could save Miyuki.

_**-:-:-:-:-Critical Commitment-:-:-:-:-**_

To design and draw out the transmutation circles. Between two civilized, intelligent individuals, that shouldn't be a difficult task, right?

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

''YOU STUPID BRAT!!!'' Flamel yelled, sending a few documents flying. Apparently I angered her during the work; God knows what.

''WHO THE HELL ARE YA CALLIN' A STUPID BRAT, YA SENILE COW?!'' My retort was just as loud as her yell, but soon her green eyes narrowed to slits and she gave me a glare that could wipe out whole of Soul Society.

There was a crash, there was a boom, and then there was silence.

''Let me give you a piece of advice; DON'T call me old.''

We were in Flamel's room, one of the guest chambers of the 1st Division. There was no reason to lodge in Unohana's office if there's nothing for her to do, and Flamel decided her room for the attempt. The chamber was large with a big bed, big table, big chair, and pretty much big everything. All was in perfect order, as if nothing was ever touched. Unlike Miyuki's room- her sense of tidiness was nonexistent. It's impossible to walk into her room without stepping on a random clothing or paper. Scratch that; it looked like Zaraki went on a rampage in it. I sighed when I finished the last stroke of the circle I was supposed to make on the floor. Raising the black-inked paintbrush and stood.

''Flamel, it's done,'' I said, throwing the brush to my side with a careless expression, knowing that Flamel was there. Her hand swiftly caught it, her expression mirroring mine. Her head tilted to one side to see me walking towards her. ''Are you sure its okay to just doodle on floors which don't belong to you?'' I asked. She shrugged.

''It's fine. Worse comes the worse I'll get rid of it with alchemy,'' she said before staring at me with furrowed eyebrows. ''...Why did you give the chisan more time than necessary?'' I sat on her couch and looked at her with bored eyes.

'' 'Cause he needs to snap outta his little boohoo phase. But mostly was that I thought you'd be uselessly lame,'' I said. Well, at least I wasn't completely lying. She glared at me as she set the two brushes on the table and sat on the other end of the couch, crossing her arms at me.

''Funny. I was thinking the same about you ...and to be frank my estimation was quite right.'' My eye twitched in anger, and I jumped up, my fist shaking as I gave her an insane grin.

''Whad'ya say?! Ya wanna piece o' me?!'' I asked, and she stood up. We both stood in aggravated positions, both giving each other threatening grins and leers.

''As if you're worth my trouble!'' she yelled, her fists rising.

''HAH! I eat people like ya fer breakfast!''

''LETS SEE ABOUT THAT, YOU WEAKLING!''

''WANNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE THEN, YA OLD HAG?!''

''WHO DID YOU JUST CALL AN OLD HAG?! AND YEAH, WE'LL TAKE IT OUTSIDE ALRIGHT, JUST LET ME THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW FIRST!!!''

''DON' MAKE ME LAUGH; YA CAN'T EVEN LIFT A PEN WITHOUT STRUGGLIN'!!!''

''I'M GOING TO TRANSMUTE YOUR SORRY ASS!!!''

''LIKE THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN!!!''

*CRASH*

''WHY YOU LITTLE-!''

''BET ITS HARD TA CATCH A TIGHT ASS LIKE MINE WITH YER SAGGY ONE!!!''

''LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT TOO BUSY WITH BOOBS, WAIST AND ASS INSTEAD OF YOUR THIGHS! EVEN I COULD FIT IN THERE!!!'' That particular sentence made my ears perk and a pulse run through my head.

''THAT'S IT! IMMA KEEL YOU!!!''

We obviously didn't notice the two officers eyeing the closed doors, sweating nervously. Or when they shivered as they heard our battle cries, and jumped to hug each other for dear life as they heard the explosions and earthquakes from the room.

''T-They're monsters...!''

We opened the door, glaring at both with murderous intent.

''SHUT THE HELL UP! WE'RE HAVING PHYSICAL ISSUES!!!'' We yelled in unison.

''Eep! Yes, ma'ams!''

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

''Hinamori!'' After my exclaimation, Hinamori's head perked up to see my face. She was leaning against a fence, looking at the mid-day view of Seireitei. Surprise became evident on my face; this was the first time I've seen her since the whole mess started. I felt slightly ashamed that I had forgotten about her during the uproar. That pair of brown eyes was wide when she looked at me, and slowly, she opened her mouth to speak.

''Hitsugaya...kun...'' she said. My expression must've been something between a smile and a frown. She looked so exhausted. I had another hour left until we start the procedure; there was time for me to spend with my childhood friend. My arms crossed inside my sleeves as I walked towards her.

''How are you doing? Are you sure you're well enough to walk around?'' I asked, not wanting to directly imply Aizen's betrayal. She gave me a weak smile.

''I'm all better now!''

''Souka? Yokatta,''—'You don't look alright, dumbass.' She smiled at me, but she soon lowered her head.

''You know? I've said 'I'm sorry' more times this week than my whole life... and I still don't think that it was enough,'' she said, ''I don't think that it could ever be enough...'' A look of mild surprise crossed my face when I saw her shaking slightly. ''I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-kun! I doubted you... I w-wounded Miyuki... I... I'm so sorry...!''

''It wasn't your fault,'' I said and she twitched, as if she was shocked.

''But... I attacked Miyuki! I was prepared to kill her! I would've if you hadn't stop me in time, Hitsugaya-kun!'' she said as she tilted her head back up to look at me, disapproval clear on her face.

''I know, and I'm very pissed off at you for that, Hinamori!'' She flinched at my outburst, her eyes showing hurt and guilt. My glare instantly faded and I sighed. ''But that doesn't mean that I didn't forgive you.'' I leaned on the fence, a few feet next to her and looked out in the view as well. I heard a few sniffles coming from my friend and saw her wiping her eyes from the corner of my view.

''Arigato... Arigato, Hitsugaya-kun!'' she said, and I smiled slightly.

''Whatever. Just go back to bed and get rid of those bags under your eyes. Not to mention you still look like a kid, you need sleep if you want to grow.'' I didn't need to turn and look to know that she blinked in stupefied surprise. ''Take a look at Matsumoto; you'll need to sleep ten years straight if you want to catch up with her.'' I said with bored eyes, still looking out at Seireitei. I felt a clear vibration on the ground when she jumped up tall, waving her arms about in protest.

''U-Urusei na! Besides, you're not really in the position to lecture people about growing, Hitsugaya-kun!'' she yelled, her arms over her head.

''Hinamori!'' I yelled and she cringed. ''I'm getting tired of repeating myself.'' I smirked when I turned to look up at her. '' 'Hitsugaya-kun' ja naku tte, 'Hitsugaya-_taichou_' da. (It's not -kun, it's captain)'' She blinked at me a few times before she soften her expression to a smile.

''...You need to sleep yourself, you look even worse,'' she said. I looked out at Seireitei again. I mentally frowned. Was she right?

''Can't. I have... something to do.'' I didn't think that telling her about Miyuki's current condition would be a good idea. But I was shocked by Hinamori's response, which made that concern of mine disappear.

''You're going to go save Miyuki, aren't you?'' I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

''How do you...?''

''Natsume-dono told me.'' I blinked at her, unable to hide my surprise. ''I went over to see if you were in your office, but she was there instead.''

''By the sound of it, you already know the wench,'' I said grumpily, crossing my arms. Just thinking about that person just made me ticked off by reflex.

''You shouldn't call people names like that, Shiro-chan!'' My eyes narrowed in annoyance and I scowled.

''I can call anyone whatever I want!'' Brown irises eyed me sternly, and I knew that her big-sister treatment was about to come. She surprised me when she sighed with what seems defeat and leaned on the fence as she looked out at the view.

''Natsume-dono and Rangiku-san told me that you aren't doing well with this... situation,'' she said and my eyes gaze out on the view of Seireitei.

''Is that so?'' I asked, indifference in my voice.

''Hitsugaya-kun...'' Her voice trailed off, telling me that she was willing to listen. And in a standpoint like this... there was no one other than her who would understand me.

''This is my last chance to bring her back, Hinamori, and I... I can't afford to fail her again, I really can't.'' My hand balled to a fist. ''One mistake, and Miyuki...''

''You're really scared, aren't you, Hitsugaya-kun?'' Hinamori asked, but her tone seemed to be stating that as a fact more than a question. I smirked bitterly.

''Who wouldn't be?'' After those words left my mouth, Hinamori placed a hand on my head, stroking it slightly- as she used to do when I was a _very _young child. I twitched in surprise and was about to snap at her, but her words stopped me.

''Do you remember what Oba-chan used to say when we were small?'' she asked with a distant tone, as if she was remembering the old days. Days where we didn't suffer like this.

'' 'Never think that you'll fail.' Its not 'Will I be able to save her?' or, 'Will I be able to protect her?'. Its 'I will definitely save her' and 'I will definitely protect her'.'' I was surprised when I did remember this saying from my grandmother.

_''But that's stupid, Baa-chan!'' I said, looking up my grandmother as a child. Her smile never wavered and I crossed my arms. ''If you don't plan for failure, how can you improvise? No one can do anything right in the first go!'' Obaa-chan laid a soft hand on my head, patting it slightly._

_''I didn't say 'never _expect_ to fail', did I, Toushirou?'' she said with a wise voice. I narrowed my eyes in annoyance at the old woman. ''The mindset is the most vital influence we have for our ambitions.''_

_A frown crossed my eyebrow as I saw her looking over her shoulder to the kitchen after Hinamori's yell._

_''Oba-chan! Where's the nattou?''_

_The old woman smiled slightly. ''I'll come and show you, its in a hard place to find since your outouto (little brother) hides them all the time,'' she said, eyeing me with a cheeky glint. My mouth twitched in annoyance. For a grandmother, she was more than energetic. My eyes followed her as she stood up and walked out of the room._

_''The mindset is the most vital influence we have for our ambitions...'' I recited, and shook my head, my hand scratching the back of it. ''The hag's going senile.''_

''I know that this doesn't sound like me, but...'' Hinamori's voice jerked me back to the present. ''But I think that this is what Miyuki would've said.'' I blinked and a small smile crossed my lips. She was right; it was something which would've easily left Miyuki's mouth. I scoffed softly when I felt confidence within me starting to flicker again, and I felt like a fool. Gaining trust in myself too easily.

I thought that I had grown up, become more complex, more difficult to get through. But I haven't.

I haven't grown at all since then.

My eyes narrowed in annoyance when I realized how much that implied on my height. But I soon shook it off.

Slowly my hand travelled up and smacked Hinamori's hands off gently. ''I already know that, bed-wetter. Quit patting my head.'' My eyes wonder up to the skies. A question I wanted to ask for a while now came out. ''How's Baa-chan?''

''She's doing just as fine, as always. She also sent her love to you,'' she said, ''And Obaa-chan seemed to be very fond of Miyuki.'' Just by hearing her voice, it was obvious that she was smiling. ''I think that I'll drag Miyuki along again next time!''

''...I'll...'' I swallowed the lump in my throat, slightly embarrassed, ''I'll come, too.'' Hinamori jumped slightly and looked at me with incredulous eyes.

''...You'll _what_?'' I glared at her with narrowed eyes.

''No way am I saying it again,'' I said. She giggled and I had to suppress a groan of annoyance.

''Are you that eager to introduce Miyuki as your bride to obaa-chan _already_, Shiro-chan?'' I could feel a blush creeping on my cheeks and my eyes narrowed at her. She leaned to torture me with that grin of hers.

''Hurry and wake Miyuki up! We need to prepare everything!''

''Get out of my face or I will hurt you.''

Arigato... Hinamori.

--

I was walking through the unfamiliar hall of the 1st division, my lieutenant behind me. Hinamori wanted to come as well, but I had convinced her that it would be best for her to go back and get some rest. As we got closer to Flamel's room I noticed that the number of members to walk past in the hallway became decreased. I walked past two shinigami, who were seemingly terrified.

''Do you think that it's safe to walk around yet?''

''I'm not moving anywhere until there's proof that I won't get killed.''

''Come on! The ryoka haven't even left yet, and we've already got another factor to be scared shitless over!''

I frowned as I looked at them from the corner of my eye, confused of what they were talking about. There were no alarms, so it couldn't have been a serious uproar, but their behaviour was quite distracting. Down the hall there was a door slid wide open, Natsume had her arms crossed and was leaning against the frame.

''Well, you took long enough!'' she said when she looked up at us, a scowl on her face. I glared at her.

''Don't talk as if I arrived later than you told me to,'' I said and she scoffed. Matsumoto and I soon came up beside her, with a push from her leg she stood properly on her legs, not leaning anymore. Her emerald eyes bored into mine, and I narrowed them in scepticism. It was as though she was searching for something, looking for something. A small smirk crossed her lips.

''You're ready,'' was all she said.

With that, she turned and walked into the room. A frown creased my eyebrows, but I followed her into the room, and I could quite literally _feel_ Matsumoto's grin. Flamel was standing in the middle of the array, her arms crossed as she looked at me with indifferent eyes. ''Huh, I'm actually surprised that he showed up.'' I scowled at the woman's words, and returned the cold look before crossing my arms in my sleeves.

''What the hell did you two do? The whole division thinks that monsters have infiltrated in their headquarters. Though... they aren't too far off.'' I felt the corner of my mouth twitching upwards for a slit-second when I saw Flamel giving me a horrific glare.

''You seem just fine to me,'' she said. Natsume walked over to the array an sat next to where Flamel was standing. Exactly the same fashion as she did when she tried the first time with Unohana. As soon as I took a step, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Matsumoto was looking down at me with a small smile.

''Gambatte, Taichou. (do your best/good luck)''

I blinked. But soon nodded and she retreated her hand. My head turned to look ahead again and I walked towards the array. I sat down in front of her in the circle like Unohana previously, and had to force myself to take a deep breath before I looked up into Natsume's eyes.

''We improved the formula of this circle, so it should be easier for you to break open the barrier,'' Flamel said, her arms falling limb on her side. ''Just shout like you did last time and I'll transfer my reiryoku, Natsume.'' The black-haired nodded, and even though I was curious, I didn't question her; we had other things to worry about rather than me learning alchemic terms. Flamel sighed and raised her hands before asking one final thing.

''All set?''

I could feel Natsume's eyes hardening at me, and I just returned the glare.

''Yes.''

I could hear Flamel inhale sharply and her chanting in a language I couldn't understand. As her voice boomed, my head turned to the side to glance at my fukutaichou, who gave me a supportive grin and winked. I narrowed my eyes at her, knowing that was one of her teases. But to be honest, I was happy to feel this annoyed sensation in my mind. It gave me confidence. I returned my head to look at those emerald eyes. Soon, it instinctively turned into a leer.

Our eyes held a glaring match.

Not because of the fact that we hated each other.

But because it was a habit.

However, there was a mutual understanding between us.

Miyuki.

''-Scatter!'' before I could make out that last word leaving Flamel's mouth, she clapped her hands together and smacked them against the floor- on the arrays. The same, white-flame coloured light engulfed us. I saw Natsume closing her eyes, tilting her head down. And I felt an enormous tug in my soul. Darkness consumed me, and then blinding light. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Natsume in front of me, flouting, her arms crossed. We were in essence, surrounded by nothing but black.

''Come,'' she said, turning around and flying towards a certain direction. I followed her, my heart pumping furiously in my chest. Shock was apparent on my face when I saw a faint glow- as we came closer, I realized that Miyuki inside a light grey barrier.

''Miyuki!'' I called, picking up speed to fly over to the barrier. Just when I was about to lay my hand on the surface, Natsume's voice stopped me.

''Don't touch it!''

I retreated my hand and saw Natsume coming up next to me. ''Flamel!'' she yelled out suddenly and I blinked in confusion. But soon crimson sparks filled the air around the barrier and she tilted her head to the side to look at me with serious eyes.

''When I put my hand on the barrier, you'll need to follow the suit... no matter what, don't let go.'' she said, and I nodded in understanding. She returned her gaze to the girl in the barrier and laid a hand on the surface, and I did as well. I could feel lightning rushing through my body as soon as my hand made contact with that glass-like barrier. The barrier started to glow brightly, making me having to squint my eyes.

It was as if I was being pushed away.

Miyuki...

I gritted my teeth and pushed my hand in harder. My eyes flashed with determination.

...I have no intentions of abandoning you.

This time, Miyuki, I'll...

''...**I'll definitely protect you!**''

And I was engulfed by light.

I could see Miyuki in a void of white. Her back faced me and her long hair waved along with that white dress she wore. I reached a hand out for her, and tired to call out her name, but nothing came out of my mouth. My voice was mute.

All I could do was watch her standing there, alone. I never saw her face. Yet I knew that it was Miyuki.

A strong wind went by us, that first past her before it reached me. My eyes widened when I felt droplets hitting my cheek and I raised my hand to touch them.

Tears.

I frowned.

Miyuki's tears.

--

''FOR THE LOVE OF YAHOO, WAKE UP!''

My eyes snapped open and I instantly shot up to sit upright. I saw Natsume standing next to me, her arms crossed and her expression ticked off. I rubbed my temple and observed our surrounding area. We seemed to be in a facility of some sort. The walls were dull and grey in the room we were in. No windows. A bed. A sink. And a door.

As my eyes trailed I saw a young girl with short, black hair crouched down in a corner of the room. I recognised that white dress she was wearing- identical to the one I saw Miyuki having on.

''Who is that girl?'' I stood up next to Natsume. She turned her head for her gaze to rest on the girl. Her eyes flickered for a moment.

''That's...Miyuki as a child,'' she said and I was shocked when I heard that. Though when she lifted her head up from her arms, I could see those amethyst eyes brimming with tears.

The child, Miyuki, looked pitiful. She was shivering and sobbing, making me frown deeply. Even if this wasn't the Miyuki I knew, I still... ''What's the meaning of this?'' I asked, my gaze never averting from Miyuki's trembling form. Natsume sighed and I heard her steps on the ground as she walked towards one of the walls.

''Looking into someone's heart can take on many forms. In Miyuki's case, it's her past we are looking at,'' she said and I looked at her over my shoulder. ''We're not visible to anyone nor can be make an influence because it's a mere memory.''

I narrowed my eyes and looked at Miyuki again, my eyebrows knitted. Slowly I walked towards Miyuki and my hand reached out to touch her head- but it only went through it instead. I narrowed my eyes further as I retreated my hand, clenching it to a fist.

This really was just a memory.

''Most likely we'll be seeing the events she has the most problems with. The ones she remembers most,'' Natsume said. ''During that time, we have to reach the real Miyuki.''

''What do we do until then?'' I asked as I turned to look at her over my shoulder. I saw Natsume closing her eyes.

''It might be hard for you, but...'' she opened them again, her eyes showing a serene glint. Something I have never seen before in her eyes. ''...We'll have to watch.''

A look of horror crossed my face, and I was about to open my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

''ZeroZero-chan? Its time to play now...'' a male voice said, and I saw Miyuki tilting her head up to look at the door. She flinched, and dug her nails into her thighs, nails which I knew she wouldn't have in the future...

The door opened, and two men in white over-coats walked in. I found their attire strange, but it must've been the fashion in the real world. Their sick smirks and grins never flicked, only making Miyuki widen her eyes further in horror. I gritted my teeth and ran in front of Miyuki, gripping my Hyourinmaru's tilt, not drawing it yet. They didn't show any signs of even noticing me as they came closer.

''Don't you dare touch her, or I'll-'' My threat was cut off by their hands reaching through me and then pulling Miyuki up. Pure shock was evident on my face when I saw the young girl going right through me. My eyes followed her as she was dragged towards the door.

''No, no, no...! Please, no more!'' Her pleas only made their grins wider, and she clenched her eyes shut as tears flew out.

''You know we can't do that, Miyuki-chan~''

That's right...

...This was only a memory...

...There was absolutely nothing I could do.

I clenched my hands to a tight fist, my knuckles turned white. ''Kuso...(shit)'' I cursed through gritted teeth. Natsume looked away, also fighting a tough battle in herself.

''Needless to say...'' She turned to look at me with her hard eyes.

''This is Miyuki's memory of Wahrheit.''

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: I'm going to have to rush on this, because I have to go somewhere XD

Okay, first off - the next chapters will be psychological and horror orientated. There will be character deaths - but only my OCs, so no worries there XP

You have been warned!

27 Reviews! ! ! Thank you all so much! I write only for you!!!

And a special thanks to my beta, Dragon of Twilight!

I hope that you'll all continue reviewing!

~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!

.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.


	13. One Day, One Room

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF THIS FANFICTION.**

**Chapter warning; This ark is psychological and horror orientated.**

**Okay, now this is the beginning of a tri-chapter ark - The Kanashimi no Moukou He Ark. It means 'On the other side of sorrow'.**

**The title was inspired by an already existing anime song, having the same title XD And because I have no idea how you write horror, I kinda looked at pacific anime shows XP So don't be surprised if you recognise some scenerios, but I made sure that none were exactly the same ... I think XDD**

**As I said on the top - the ark will be going into details of Miyuki's torture, that means gore. I hope you enjoy! I rewrote and edited this thing over and over again, so I hope that it doesn't turn out too bad!**

-x-X-x-

**悲しみの向こうへ****: ****第****一**

**(Kanashimi no Moukou He: dai-ichi)**

'One Day, One Room'

_**If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,**_

_**Then I don't need warmth or tomorrow anymore.**_

-x-X-x-

''Hmm, hmm... Wow! This will be so fun, ZeroZero-chan! This is a test to see if you can regrow body parts!'' a doctor, the sickest one of the lot, said as he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. He spoke with a terrible accent, meaning that he was obviously a foreigner. His eyes flickered with madness as his grin emerged from behind the clip board in his hands. Miyuki was brought into another room, which reminded my of a torture chamber, similar to the one we Gotei 13 use to interrogate.

Miyuki was being held to the spot by the shoulders by one doctor, the other was getting something from the shelves. She was shaking, wrapping her arms around herself. I was clenching my fist so tightly that I was drawing blood from my palms - but I didn't care. Agony was obvious on my face, and I knew that Natsume was looking away, not being able to watch.

We were standing a few feet from them, but not because we wanted to; there was a barrier separating us from them.

''_We'll be watching the events like a film. Standing and watching is all we need to do.''_ I remembered Natsume's explanation from a few minutes ago. I scoffed bitterly. What she meant was it was all we _could_ do.

My eyes flickered when I saw that the one who was rummaging through the shelves had just set a contraption on the table. I averted my gaze from Miyuki to see the obviously heavy object with wide eyes. It was longer than a fully grown elbow, one side was equipped with leather straps and the other with a leaver.

''Its a shame that we can't cut an arm or a leg off... but if you can't regrow a limb you will lessen your worth! But don't worry! If you pass this one, I might be able to get permission to chop something~!'' I glared lividly at that doctor. He seemed to be the boss of the three, since he was the one who did all the talking. Miyuki gulped as sweat rolled down her face when she looked up to the the lenses of his glaces, which reflected insanity. Wrinkles had gathered around her eyes because they were wide for such a long time. Shakily, she turned her head to look at the steel object on the table. Her arms around herself tightened.

''W-What... is this...?'' she asked with a terrified, meek voice. She flinched when she felt the doctor leaning over her shoulder.

''Its a device for tearing off fingernails.'' I winced, instantly realizing what was going to happen.

Miyuki started shaking, too scared to gasp.

''Do you know how to use it?'' he asked with a grin.

Miyuki snapped her head towards the doctor, her eyes reflected disbelief. ''O-Of course not! How would I?!''

The man smirked, and gestured another man to grip Miyuki by the shoulders again, and I could feel a shortness of my breath. She gulped and looked up at the men, her eyes glassy with unleashed tears.

''P-Please... No more...'' she begged, but shivered when their grins twisted in insane angles.

I hung my head, covering my face with my hand, not knowing what to do.

''You know we can't do that, ZeroZero-chan~''

I looked up to see that she shakily turned back to face the device with wide eyes. Her pupil was a mere dot - making the purple in her eyes more visible. But that was barely notable, as her irises were drastically contracted as well. Her sweat started to drip down the floor, and she didn't have the strength to fight back when they strapped her left arm into the contraption. They soon set one nail into the holder...

...I didn't know if I wanted to see what was about to happen.

As one fist raised up and was brought down again over the leaver, Miyuki screamed. Her eyes clenched shut. Expecting excruciating pain.

I flinched, but my eyes couldn't avert from the scene.

After the leaver was hit, I heard a sickening crack filling the air, which was followed by Miyuki's cringe. I could feel a stab in my chest, and had to hold my arms from trembling. Her eyes were still shut, her head was facing away slightly. But one eye cracked open, and with her body shaking in pain, she looked down to see a torn-off fingernail next to the device. Her eyes continued and laid sight on her small finger was stripped of it's nail. Pink flesh showing, with blooding starting to ooze from it. My hair from the nape of my neck stood up, and a shiver ran through my body when I looked at that.

I _hated _myself.

Even if all this already happened long ago...

...It didn't change that fact.

I didn't notice the blood dripping down the floor from my self-impaled hands had formed a little pool.

''Will... Will this... do...?'' she asked in an exhausted, agonized voice, a terrible frown creasing her eyebrows as she looked up at the doctor. ''Ano ne... ano ne...! This hurts! This really hurts...!'' she said, having to soon after that look down with shut eyes. Unable to do anything without clenching all her muscles. That was the extent of the pain she was in.

I furrowed my eyebrows and bit my tongue, but my eyes widened when I heard the doctor laughing.

''That was a funny joke, ZeroZero-chan!'' he said, clutching his sides. Miyuki looked up at him with confusion and horror clear on her face.

**''We need all of your fingers done~!''**

Miyuki's pupils shook. Her breath shaking. ''She didn't deserve this...'' I whispered through clenched teeth; she looked like someone ran her through with a knife.

''No... It can't be...'' she said, and tears started to gather in her eyes. ''Not again...!'' Her voice was pitiful. It only made the tightness around my heart worse.

''No!'' She started to struggle, ''NO!'' she cried, but the grip on her never loosened, only tightened. I couldn't hold in a gasp as one of them brought a cloth bag from behind the distressed child.

''Miyuki...!'' I called her name through gritted teeth, my brows horribly furrowed.

''Now, now... We can't have that! Going through life means sometimes doing this you don't want to do!'' he said in a lecturing tone, as if she was complaining about not wanting to do her homework instead of pleading for mercy. Miyuki wasn't really paying attention, because she was shaking her head violently from side to side. Panicking, trying to break free.

I had laid a hand on the surface of the barrier, fighting the urge to bash it with all my bottled-up anger.

''No, no, no, no! Please! I can't take any more!'' she said in a distressed voice, gasping and panting. ''It really hurts!'' She started to sob and whimper.

''Oh, Miyuki...'' I said as a shaky, nearly sobbing breath escape my throat.

But her pleas didn't matter to him, he just gestured the cloth to the man who was holding it. The green fabric was pulled over her head without her even expecting the restraint, and Miyuki's struggle only got stronger. But it wasn't strong enough against two grown men - the third just watched on with a grin as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

She could only cry from the top of her lungs as they set in her next finger. The doctor's talking was heavily muffled under Miyuki's screams.

I cringed when I saw the hand rising up to hit the leaver. My eyes clenched shut. ''I'm sorry...!'' was all I could say.

''Now, now, it won't be so bad!''

_crack_

''See? It wasn't so bad, was it?''

_crack_

''Its even fun!''

_crack_

''You're lucky, aren't you, ZeroZero-chan!''

_crack_

''Maybe I'll think of something else like this to organize for you!''

_crack_

''Having fun and getting a finishing work at the same time...''

_crack_

''...is quite an accomplishment, isn't it?''

_crack_

''Even more fun!''

_crack_

''I know you think so too, don't you, ZeroZero-chan?''

_crack_

''Come on, be honest!''

I forgot how to breath during that time.

The echoing of Miyuki's screams will haunt me for as long as I live.

That I knew without a doubt.

_**:-:-:-:-:-:**_

_''Hm, didn't work after all.''_

_''Still no regrowth on the fingernails?''_

_''...Nothing.''_

_''In that case, write that down in the report. That concludes the physical tests... for now.''_

_''The interesting part starts here.''_

_**:-:-:-:-:-:**_

''If my orientation is right,'' Natsume said, leaning her back against an invisible wall. I just simply stared at the barrier, which showed nothing but black. I twitched when I heard the girl speaking. ''This is when the first part of the psychological experiments starts.''

I frowned deeply, but kept my composure nevertheless. That was the first scene out of Miyuki's life that I just witnessed, and even after that, staying rational was _hard_.

''The first?'' I repeated before looking at the girl over my shoulders with an indifferent expression on my face. The night Miyuki told me about her past flashed through my mind. ''You mean when she was a part of a children's death-match?'' I asked, desperately hoping that she would say that it wasn't the case.

She sighed before nodding slowly. It was almost as if she was being understanding for my sake.

''Come on, ZeroZero-chan, right this way!''

Both our gazes instantly zoomed back to the barrier; it now showed Miyuki walking along a hall with that doctor from before. Her hands were completely covered in bandages and she held them close. I winced when I saw her pale hands in those white ribbons, shaking; just like her body in that man's presence. Her wide, purple eyes looked up at the doctor. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but no words came out. He blinked when he realized this and smiled.

''I bet you're anxious about what fun is next~'' he said, and I had to suppress a growl. ''You're going to meet some new friends today, doesn't that sound lovely?'' Miyuki frowned, great confusion obvious on her face, but as they came to a door in the hall and the doctor opened it.

Miyuki's eyes showed astonishment when she saw a group of three children in the room, a boy and two girls, all her age -around nine- chatting along happily. The pale girl blinked a few times at the sight before her. She flinched when she felt the doctor giving her a shove into the room, and I felt the urge to break his arm off rise.

''Now, now; don't be shy, say hello.'' Miyuki nodded nervously at him.

''Y-Yes, sir,'' she said meekly before slowly making her way to the children in the middle of the big, empty, white-walled room. One girl with red hair in a pony-tail smiled brightly when she saw Miyuki coming.

''Another one! Sugoi! This is so exciting!'' she said, squealing. Miyuki looked at the red-head as if she had grown a third eye.

''What brings you here?'' the other girl, a brunette, asked politely. Miyuki gulped, a little too dumbfounded to speak. Even I thought that this change of mood was odd.

''I... I've been in this place for a long time now...'' Miyuki answered, and I saw that the doctor was leering at her. She must've felt it. She looked back up at them, seemingly uneasy with their cheerful attitudes in such a place. ''What are you doing here?''

''We were invited to a test of courage!'' the boy said with a toothy grin. The ginger-red haired girl rolled her eyes.

''...And you forgot to mention that you're the only guy doing this. Wow, my hero,'' she said sarcastically. Miyuki's eyes were wide before she opened her mouth to retort, but I saw her flinching again. The doctor was directing that glare at her a second time. She was greatly intimidated by that doctor, and I didn't blame her.

''...Souka...'' Miyuki said quietly under her breath.

''Now that you've all seen all your team-members, allow me to explain the rules to this _game_,'' the doctor said, slowly approaching the children as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Miyuki was the only one to have a fearful expression on her face. ''You have to stay in this room, the one who can stay the longest, enduring all obstacles, wins.'' A smirk crossed his lips. ''Its every one for themselves. And only one winner.''

''Hai!'' the children yelled enthusiastically in an union. All except for Miyuki.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

--

''Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne!'' the red-head chanted, making Miyuki's eyes twitch in annoyance. She snapped her head over to the annoying girl.

''For the twenty-fifth time; WHAT IS IT?!'' Miyuki asked, frustration obvious in her voice. The girl giggled. I gave a typical smirk; Miyuki hasn't changed one bit.

''What's your name?'' The pale girl blinked at the red-head as if she was an idiot. It has been a few hours now since the doctor left the room, and the group was simply... occupying themselves while they were sitting until an 'obstical' came. Time moved much faster for Natsume and I, as if we always skipped out parts.

''...You've been ranting on me for an hour just to ask me that?'' Miyuki asked. ''And its common etiquette to introduce yourself before asking for someone else's name.'' She raised her eyebrows at Miyuki's cold voice. But soon a broad smile crossed her face, making Miyuki frown in confusion.

''You're really smart, aren't you?'' she asked, giggling slightly. ''I'm Ito Akiko!'' she said cheerily. Miyuki blinked when she realized that the link of introduction continued.

''My name's Arakaki Kiku, pleased to meet you,'' the brunette said, smiling shyly. The boy also looked over to the black-haired girl.

''The name's Kobayashi Yori!'' he introduced proudly. Miyuki did a round-glance at them before she opened her mouth to speak.

''...I assume that you all know each other?'' she asked, and Ito nodded eagerly.

''Oh course~!'' Ito sang, and Miyuki scoffed. I couldn't help but let the corner of my lips twitch to a small curve upwards for a second. Miyuki was already getting annoyed by that girl.

''I'm Higurashi Miyuki,'' she said, then eyeing Ito with twitching eyebrows. ''Nice to meet you, now get the hell outta my face.''

--

''When's something gonna happen?!'' Kobayashi's frustration was obvious in his voice as he threw his hands up in the air. ''Its been...'' his loud voice trailed off and his face held a distracted expression.

''-Two hours.'' Arakaki hinted. His face retrieved it's annoyed glint, and I resisted the temptation to shake my head at his blunt stupidity.

''That's right! Its been **two hours** since the beginning! COME ON!'' The girls looked up at the ranting male, since they where sitting down.

''...Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is he?'' Miyuki asked. Arakaki shook her head.

''He does have his charms, though,'' she said, blushing as she looked at the rampaging boy. Miyuki blinked before letting a smirk cross her lips.

''Do you like Kobayashi-san, Arakaki-san?'' Arakaki looked mildly surprised before answering Miyuki's tease with a warm smile.

''I love him very much.''

I scoffed when I saw Miyuki's expression; she was flabbergasted, and her mouth was agape. Though I must admit that I was surprised of her confession. Miyuki blinked at the humble girl with testing eyes before sighing.

''They're usually a lot more stubborn in the movies,'' Miyuki said, and Arakaki chuckled. But when her cobalt eyes landed on Miyuki's bandaged hands, they blinked.

''Higurashi-san, what happened to your hands?'' Arakaki asked, starting to focus her gaze on them. Miyuki pulled them close to her, grinning nervously as she waved her off.

''Ah... its a hobby! Yes, a hobby!'' I winced slightly at that. The brunette furrowed her brows in confusion, but they both tilted their heads to the direction where they heard a strange sound. Ito was fiddling with some technological object of some description with screwdrivers and pliers. Miyuki seemed mildly surprised.

''Wow, its amazing that you can do something like this at this age!'' Miyuki exclaimed as she crawled over to the red-head. The other two joined to look at Ito's work over her shoulder. ''What is it?'' she asked, and Ito grabbed something from a red box with all her tools in.

''Its my new invention,'' she said flatly, ''You'll see what it can do when I'm finished.''

''Oh...'' was Miyuki's intelligent reply. I had to suppress a scoff, so her moodiness has existed since then.

''Okay, Yori, hand me the wheresit,'' Ito said, her eyes never leaving the sight of her work. Kobayashi looked at the toolbox with arched eyebrows and scratched his head.

''Where is it?'' he asked.

''Yup, the wheresit.''

''That's... what I said; 'Where is it'?''

''Yori, please,'' Ito said, growing impatient as I grew confused. She even held a hand own, which gestured that she wanted it within the next ten seconds. ''Wheresit, STAT.''

Kobayashi narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms. ''I'm asking you, Akiko, WHERE IS IT?''

''The wheresit is a tool, Yori. Next to the thinamagig?'' she said as if he was an idiot. Of course, being a shinigami I had no idea what they were talking about- but judging from Miyuki's expression she seemed a bit skeptical of Ito's words.

''Oh, of course, how dumb of me,'' he said sarcastically and smacked a hand over his eyes, his arm reaching into the box and pulling something out on random. ''Next to the thingamabob,'' he quoted wrongly. He uncovered his eyes and looked at the tool in his hand with an unreadable expression before handing it to Ito. She held it and inspected it.

''No, not the thingamabob!'' She promptly threw the tool over her shoulder, making Kobayashi dodge. ''The thinamagig!'' she said and took another tool out from her box and showed it to him. She returned her intense focus to her work. ''The thingamabob is for adding wahts to the dohicky!''

Kobayoshi looked like someone just asked him to fight against Yamamoto. And I wasn't far behind.

''Wha?''

''Wahts,'' she corrected.

''What?!''

''That's right, wahts.''

''Say what?!''

She looked up at him with a grin. ''Exactly.''

Kobayashi looked like he would rip his hair put as he growled in what seems annoyance and frustration. He grabbed another tool from the box, and I blinked at his temper.

''Akiko! If you're not gonna start makin' sense here, I'll smash all of yer whatchamacallits with this whosistwhatsits!'' he said, and furrowed his brows when he saw Ito trying to hold in a laugh. ''What's so funny?''

He didn't seem to notice the unsightly... slime dribbling down the item down to his shoulder as he held it high. I scowled in disgust.

''Yori, that's not a whositswhatsits. That's the new industrialized strengthen plumper I invented to unclog the headmaster's toilet,'' she said. His face quite literally turned green. After dropping the tool he covered his mouth with his hand as he jumped from one leg to another.

''Nasty, NASTY!''

The two girls laughed at him, and Miyuki chuckled. I unconsciously allowed a small smile on my lips when I heard her laughter. It was the first time after a while since it last rang through my ears.

I saw Natsume walking up next to me with crossed arms from the corner of my eye. '' 'Why isn't Miyuki warning them if she suspects that something will happen?'... Is what you're thinking, right?'' Natsume said. I side-glanced her momentarily before looking ahead at the young Miyuki again.

''Perhaps.''

''She got _that_ kind of treatment when she obeyed everything they said... can you imagine what they would do if she didn't?'' she asked, ''And besides, she could've never even dream of what had happened at the time.''

I frowned when I looked into Miyuki's somewhat smiling face.

Because I knew that her smile was going to be taken from her.

Both our attentions returned back to the scene unfolding before us.

''Are you sure its okay for you guys to be here? Do your parents know where you are?'' Miyuki asked, and Ito shrugged. The two of them were talking while Arakaki and Kobayashi were a few feet away from them, both laughing and blushing merrily.

''We're all orphans from the local orphanage. No one would notice if a few went missing,'' the ginger-haired girl said before sighing. Miyuki nodded wearily, seemingly worried. I frowned; this explained why they were the ones picked out for this experiment.

''Souka...'' Miyuki blinked when she saw Ito looking over to Kobayashi and Arakaki, who seemed to be enjoying each other's company. ''...Do you like Kobayashi-san, Ito-san?'' Miyuki asked with a surpised voice. Arakaki blushed and looked away. I noticed that this was quite a different reaction from Arakaki's.

''Don't be stupid! An IDIOT like him? No thanks!'' she said, Miyuki smiled wearily, but it dropped when she heard a shriek.

''**AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!**''

I twitched in surprise and turned to look at the one who screamed; Arakaki Kiku. Miyuki and Ito scrambled to their feet and ran over to the other two, and whatever the brunette was screaming at was shielded from their view by Arakaki. ''Kiku-san, what's the-'' Ito instantly cut herself off and there was a brief silence after gasps left the other two girl's mouths.

Ito screamed with terror in her voice. And Miyuki's knees gave in, making her fall with her legs folded underneath her. I cringed at her reaction; seeing her with this utterly broken perplexion on her face was even worse than her screaming.

All their attentions were directed at a brutally stabbed corpse of a male child their age, which was lying limb ontop of a panicking Kobayashi who eventually got the corpse off him. The corpse's skin was drained of blood, making it ghastly white. The boy's limbs were mangled because of all the stab wounds, and his middle was completely minced. His eyes and mouth were wide.

All four had shocked expressions on their faces; but only Miyuki had a truley horrified one.

''W-W-W-W-Wha...t's... this...?'' Kobayashi asked with a trembling voice as he pointed a finger at the corpse that was thrown in over him at some point - but because Miyuki didn't witness it neither did we. Arakaki crawled back before having to throw up, Ito looked like she was about to follow the suit. I could see Miyuki's eyes flickering as her eyes trailed down the corpse. Her mouth was parted, shaking, she herself was trembling. I could see the face of that dead boy; tears were streaming down his face, saliva from one corner of his mouth, and his eyes were bulding out. I narrowed my eyes, disgusted. Just how _sick_ were these people?

Everyone jerked their heads up when the intercom went on.

_''Oops! I forgot to mention that the only way to win over your enemies is to kill them, silly me! So in other words; only the winner gets out alive! Such thrills are fun, aren't they? Hohoho~ The only weapons allowed are knives and things like that! There're more than enough over at the collection box, help yourselves!''_

Kobayashi ran over to the door and grabbed the handle before thrashing with all his might. But the door never budged.

_''Now, now! No cheating! And remember; you only have 24 hours! If not only one stands as the winner by then, you'll end up like that boy over there- doesn't his expression tell you just how much fun he had? Ah, just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside just thinking about it!''_

Tears were gathering in Miyuki's eyes as she stared into the ones of the corpse. She shakily reached both her hands to her head, and held each side of it before clenching her eyes shut. She screamed. In despair.

I furrowed my brows as I winced. My hand was back on the surface of the barrier. I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to wake her up, I wanted to save her, I wanted this to end.

I _wanted_ so much of the unachievable.

''Miyuki,'' I whispered silently to myself as I frowned deeply.

So... this is what started the real nightmare for her.

But the Miyuki from then... doesn't know yet.

She doesn't know just how that 'nightmare' will be...

...when she can't even wake up from it.

''C-Calm down! I'm sure that it was all just some stupid prank, don't let it get to you!'' Arakaki said, but behind her smile, it was quite obvious that she wasn't convinced herself. Ito glared at her.

''Prank? _Prank_?!'' she asked, pointing a finger at the corpse behind her. ''LOOK AT THAT AND TELL ME AGAIN THAT ITS JUST A 'PRANK'!'' Ito flinched at her sudden outburst. Kobayashi was slumped against the door, and the girls had moved themselves away from the rotting corpse.

''Calm down, Akiko-san! We aren't going to get out of this if we don't stay calm!'' Arakaki said, gripping Ito's shoulders tightly, staring into her eye.

''We won't all be getting out of here.'' I turned to look at Miyuki, who was sitting with her head tilted down. I blinked at her dark, low voice. ''When that man says something will happen, it will. Either one stands alive at the end or we will all die,'' Miyuki said before looking up a clock with hollow eyes.

''It's late now. We can plan what to do in the morning; that's well within 24 hours.'' Her amethyst eyes zoomed to the glass-cased trunk with knives of all styles laid. Arakaki smiled, completely obvious to her fate.

''That's right! I'm sure we can do something about this! If we all combine our strength, it'll definitely work!''

Miyuki didn't say anything, and just by looking at her expression, I knew what was going through her mind.

That they were so hopeful was because the didn't understand the seriousness of the situation.

Kobayashi stood, their attention was taken by something else slumping onto the ground; right next to Miyuki, who had her eyes reflecting horror as she jerked her head up.

_''Don't mind us dumping the dead bodies of the losers here,'' _the doctor said over the intercom, and my eyes were wide with disbelief.

Shakily, Miyuki turned her head to look at the _thing_ to her; it was only the head of a girl this time. Miyuki's hand jumped to her mouth before she turned to other side, and threw up. I frowned, cursing myself again. She coughed as she wiped her mouth, crawling away from the cut-off head. I couldn't care about the other children's reactions, my attention was completely focused onto Miyuki.

_''See them as a form of motivation!''_

I was definitely going to kill this man if he'd ever come across my path.

_**:-:-:-:-:**_

_The room was still lighted, despite the fact that it was night time. The children were sleeping on the floor nevertheless, all exhausted. Kobayashi Yori sat upright, his eyes insecure and wary. Leaving the three girls in their slumber, his feet brought him up. He slowly made his way to the trunk where all the blades were kept before opening it and his hesitating hand reached into the trunk. It brought a dagger up before staring at it. He turned to look at the sleeping girls, then the corpses on the other side of the room. He returned his gaze to the breathing children, a frown crossing his face as he slowly walked over to the girl closest to where he was standing; Ito Akiko. The other two were huddling close together, a few meters away from the red-haired girl. He stood over her, hovering. He tightened his grip on his blade._

_''Forgive me, Akiko. For Kiku's sake... I'm sorry,'' he whispered before he readied his blade. His body flinched when brown eyes snapped open, glaring up at him._

_'' 'For Kiku's sake'... was it?'' she asked, her voice hollow. He widen his eyes in horror when he saw that she held one of her tool razor in her hand._

_''Akiko-'' she cut in._

_''You choose her over me again?'' she asked. The boy shivered; this was the first time in his life where he experienced his childhood friend being so cold. ''You wanted to kill me, didn't you? So that Kiku-san can live on. Is that how much you hold her above me?'' she asked, he blinked in shock before gulping. His eyes were wide when he saw her slashing his leg with her razor. He stepped back, cringing in pain when he felt the sting in his leg. The girl stood, and shot her razor towards his middle._

_He gasped as he felt the blade impale him through his stomach, memories flashing through his head._

The red-head had an arm wrapped around his neck, giving him a frustrated look as she bored her fist into his head. He tried to get out of her death-hold but with no avail.

_She pulled the blade back and he crouched over, clutching his middle, his breaths ragged. Tears were streaming down his face as he fell over and he tried to crawl away, but the girl hovered over him._

_''How could you?!'' she asked, bringing the blade down to jab him in the back. _

She smiled at him when he gave her the cone of her favorite ice-cream.

With great curiosity, he looked over her shoulder to see what she was making.

_Yori turned over for the chance of being able to breath, and she sat ontop of him, pinning him to the spot. Saliva was trailing down the side of his mouth, his tears flowing and his eyes were bulging out. He choked on his saliva as he tried to gasp when the girl stabbed him again._

_''You only thought about Kiku-san! You only care for Kiku-san! You never gave a damn about me!'' Another stab, making his body jerk, his eyes un-blinking. ''WHY?! WHY DO YOU LOVE HER AND NOT ME?!''_

_When the blade impaled him, he choked again before his eyes started to roll back._

She was sitting on a table next to him, explaining the homework because he never paid attention in class.

He took his time to teach her how to play football.

They were on the beach, splashing each other with water. Both grinning from ear to ear.

_She pierced again, both hands clutching the handle of her weapon, everything soaking with his blood, like her cheek, the matching colour of her hair. But she didn't notice - she just continued._

He stood up for her sake, challenging anyone who upsetted her.

She blinked at him when he gave her a small, pink box; her birthday present. He looked away, embarrassed.

They hugged each other, mourning over their parents who abandoned them.

_After another stab, he reached a hand out, clutching her shirt. ''Akiko-...'' he choked._

_She gasped as she widen her eyes._

He stood in front of the door to her room, blushing.

She sat on a bench next to him.

They danced together during the school festival.

As they walked down the park, their hands found each other to hold.

_She looked up ahead, in a state of shock, then looked down at his hand holding onto her bloody shirt. _

_But after a moment, it fell limb, making a splash when it made contact with his pool of blood on the floor. His bloody hand had left it's crimson streaks on her shirt._

_He was dead._

_She stared into his face; trails of tears were visible, like the saliva from the corner of his slightly parted mouth. Wrinkles had gathered around his eyes, and even though his eyes had softened, they were still budging. His pupils dilated, and staring up at her with death clear in his gaze._

_She killed him._

_Her mouth opened shakily, finally realizing what she had just done. Her eyes showed horror as her eyes locked with his. Those dead, grey eyes haunting her as they gazed up to her brown ones. Her breath was shaking, and her irises shrank to a mere dot._

_**:-:-:-:-:**_

Miyuki stirred, and I could see that a frown creased her face - there was a constant noise in the background which disturbed her from her slumber. After stirring, she fluttered her eyes open to see that Arakaki was also rubbing her eyes as they both sat up. They looked at each other, both having puzzled expressions. They turned their heads over to where the noise come from, and Miyuki looked like she was about to say something insulting so that silence would return. But what they were looking at made them forget that they were able to speak.

Even I widen my eyes in disbelief. Ito Akiko was covered in blood, holding a bloody rayor, sitting ontop of Kobayashi, who was stabbed to death. His blood created a big pool beneath his corpse as he lay limb on the floor.

Miyuki was at lost for words, but Arakaki soon recovered from her shock, her expression reduced to a merely surprised one.

''Akiko-san, what...'' the brunette stood, her voice calm and composed. ''...have you done?''

Ito flinched before slowly turning her head around to look at them with the same expression as Miyuki's. Arakaki narrowed her eyes when she didn't get her answer.

''Allow me to repeat myself,'' she took a step closer, ''What have you done to Yori-kun?''

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: What should I say to make you people look forward to the next chapter?

Sigh... This is the only time during the whole day where I can update, and right after I have extraciricular courses to visit... Asian mothers really are too much some times...

So, that's why I most likely won't be able to give out the review-credits until I start with the next ark. I'm really sorry! I feel so guilty... TT_TT

THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED! I ONLY WRITE FOR YOU!

This chapter hasn't been edited; it's a busy time now! XD

~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!

.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.


	14. The Feeling of an Only Child

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF THIS FANFICTION.**

**Warning: This chapter is heavily psychological and horror orientated.**

-x-X-x-

**悲しみの向こうへ****: ****第****二**

**(Kanashimi no Moukou He: dai-ni)**

'The Feeling of an Only Child'

_**If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,**_

Then I'd rather not feel anything beyond this anymore.

-x-X-x-

''Allow me to repeat myself,'' Arakaki said with hollow eyes as she took one step closer, ''What have you done to Yori-kun?''

Miyuki had remained sitting, far too shocked to stand like the brunette.

My eyes were eagerly flickering between both Arakaki and Miyuki, wondering what was about to happen next.

Ito looked back to Kobayashi's face before frantically getting off him. She never released her knife.

''I...I...I...'' The redhead stuttered as she took more steps back, away from Miyuki and Arakaki. But it seemed to be her priority to get away from the body of the person she had just brutally murdered. Arakaki walked over to Kobayashi's corpse, each step she took eachoed in the empty room. She kneeled down next to him, her knees covered in his blood, but she didn't seem to care. Her lifeless eyes just stared into Kobayashi's.

''Yori-kun...'' she whispered, reaching a hand out to stroke his head lovingly. I furrowed my brows in confusion—didn't this girl realize that he was _dead_? Why was she so... so calm?

I looked over to Miyuki to see that she was shaking, shivering, looking at the scene before her with wide, uncomphrehensive eyes. She couldn't move. I could feel my nails digging into my palm again. My knuckles turned white.

Was this how everything took it's course?

''I... don't... what's... why...?'' Ito's trembling voice only hindered her speech as she stared at the bloody knife, horror written clear on her face. Miyuki just looked at the two girls with terrified eyes, and I winced when she shook more violently.

''Akiko-san.''

Ito looked up from her weapon to Arakaki's back, which was crouched down, facing her. I was disturbed by that girl's still-calm attitude despite the situation.

''Why did you do this to Yori-kun?'' Arakaki asked. Ito's eyes flashed with anger.

''He... he tried to kill me! I had to do something to protect myself!''

''Was it necessary to resort to killing him, and in such a brutal fashion?''

Ito's eyes widened at Arakaki's question. She looked down at her feet, her body was trembling. This Arakaki girl was starting to make me feel uneasy with her way of handling things. I didn't like that look in her cobalt eyes.

''I... I don't know what came over me... It was like someone was inside of me, controlling me!'' Ito said. Arakaki stood, not turning.

''Someone inside of you, was it?'' The brunette repeated as if she took that as her answer, and turned around to face Ito. ''Is that the truth, Akiko-san?'' After she asked that question, she walked over to her friend. Ito's eyes grew wide as she looked up. I gulped, asking myself what she was doing.

''I...'' her voice trailed off as Arakaki stood a few feet in front of her, her cobalt eyes still looking at her with a hollow gaze.

''Are you unable to answer... because it is a lie?''

Ito glared at Arakaki, while I blinked at her dark voice.

''You're wrong!'' Ito said, ''And its because of **you** it went this far! How do you think I feel, killing the one who means most to me?!'' Arakaki's expression never wavered as tears poured from Ito's eyes. I noticed that their eyes never averted each other's gaze.

''If you really loved Yori-kun, you would've never done that,'' Arakaki narrowed her eyes. ''Also, there's no reason for you to have these feelings for him.'' She brought her left hand up to clasp over her chest. Taking in the glare that Ito was giving her.

I frowned in confusion; provoking an obviously emotionally unstable person who has a knife in her grip was definitely not something sensible to do. It was the exact opposite. What was going through Arakaki Kiku's head?

''Because Yori-kun's girlfriend...'' A small, eerie smile graced her lips. ''...Is me.''

Ito gasped when she wiped her tears, and wasn't able to answer.

''Isn't that right?'' Arakaki asked, her smile unfazed. Ito shook her head, her eyes clenched shut.

''I also...'' She opened her eyes to glare at Arakiko. ''I also wanted to be his girlfriend! Just for that reason I let him do whatever he wanted and endured everything! Something you could never understand!'' She clenched her fists tightly, ''But what have I received for doing all that?! Nothing! Why?!'' Arakaki's smile disappeared, I was sure that it wouldn't be long until Ito would do the same to Arakaki as she did to Kobayashi.

''If it's for Yori-kun...'' Arakaki said, her eyes softening. ''If it's for Yori-kun, he's right over there.'' Arakaki turned her head slightly to look at Kobayashi's corpse with sad eyes. ''How about you ask him yourself?''

Ito's face showed horror as she looked at the minced corpse, wrinkles gathering around her eyes. The trauma was catching up to her. Soon her hand shot up to her mouth, and she fell to her knees before throwing up. She coughed and gasped for breath, not noticing Arakaki taking her right hand from behind her, holding a shining object. My eyes widened in horror as I noticed that glint.

''Please allow me to confirm...'' Arakaki held the the object by her side—a dagger. Ito stood back up and looked at her with a shocked expression. A small gasp escaped my mouth as I was asking myself where she had gotten that knife, but more than anything else I was asking myself if Arakaki has also gone insane. The ginger-haired girl gasped when Arakaki held the dagger up. ''...if what you are saying...'' She dashed towards Ito.

''...is true or not.''

Ito's eyes showed fear as she held her razor up for defense, but Arakaki held her hand down and already had her dagger by her neck. The calm, humble face of Arakaki Kiku showed a small, sinister smirk before she swiftly pulled her blade back, slashing Ito's neck.

It took me a moment to register what had just happened.

Yes, Arakaki had also definitely become insane.

Strands of red hair fell to the ground, and blood sprayed out of her wound. Soon Ito's eyes rolled back before she fell over into a pool of her own blood.

My eyes were wide, and my mouth parted slightly. I couldn't believe that children were able to go to this extent.

I heard the gasp from Miyuki and turned to look over to her, and she was making an expression anyone would make if they witnessed something as traumatic as that. Sweat rolled down the side of her face, her eyes were wide with the irises reduced to a mere dot. Her breaths were short and uneven, and her body was trembling.

''Miyuki...'' Eventhough my voice was unable to reach her, I wanted to say something, _anything_.

But the words died in my throat.

I could see her perplexion morph to disgust, making me frown in confusion. I turned to see that Arakaki had bent down and started to disect Ito. Miyuki flinched everytime she heard the blade slicing flesh and cutting bones and I frowned deeply when I saw her shiver. I twitched, because the noise of Arakaki disecting the girl was getting to me as well. But I was a death god. And a captain in that society, no less.

I couldn't imagine how Miyuki saw this as a normal, little girl.

Blood flew out rapidly and formed a pool under Ito after barely any time. Arakaki stood back up, her eyes still hollow, her hands and dress soaked with blood, and her cheek smired with the crimson liquid. This was the first time I have ever witnessed insanity taking form of a calm, emotionless attitude.

Blood dripped from Arakaki's fingers as she looked at Ito's dead body, which was cut open, showing all her organs and bones.

I couldn't see Ito's face.

Rather, I didn't want to see it.

''Just as I thought...'' Arakaki said, ''It was a lie after all.''

I furrowed my brows in confusion.

''**There's nobody inside.**''

I tried my best to keep my horror from showing.

That was the reason why she killed and disected her...?

Miyuki shivered violently when she saw Arakaki turning around to stare at Miyuki, who was a few meters from the brunette. I could feel panic stirring from my stomach. ''Higurashi-san, you said that you live in this facility.'' she said, starting to walk over to Miyuki, who gasped before scrambling to her feet. She then ran over to the trunk and grabbed a long, boning knife from inside it before holding up in defense.

''Don't come any closer!'' Miyuki warned, and my eyes flickered with anticipation. Arakaki was looking at Miyuki over her shoulder, then turned around to walk towards her again. ''I'm serious! STAY AWAY!''

''If you do live in this facility, then you should be aware of what goes on here.'' Arakaki's eyes flashed for a split-second, ignoring Miyuki's warnings. ''You should have been aware of what could happen.''

Miyuki flinched. ''...That they were able to go to this extent... was unknown to me.'' I remembered Natsume's words, telling me that she couldn't even dream of it.

''Is that so?'' Arakaki asked, standing in front of Miyuki, who glared at her, despite how horrified she was. I bit my inner lip, furrowing my brows.

''It is so,'' she said, ''Why did you kill Ito-san like that, Arakaki-san? You didn't make yourself any better than her.'' Miyuki blinked when a small smirk appeared on her lips.

''Whether or not I am on the same level as Akiko-san is irrelavant to me.'' Arakaki's smirk broadened. ''I'll kill everyone who tributed to this result.'' She held her dagger up. ''That includes you, Higurashi Miyuki-san.'' With that Arakaki dashed towards Miyuki. My eyes widened and I instinctively tried to run forward to protect Miyuki, but a hand stopped me. Natsume.

''Calm down, Hitsugaya. This is just a memory. There's nothing we can do yet.''

I furrowed my brows as I looked ahead to see that Miyuki had dodged, but her arm had a large gash in it as a result. Dammit...!

''Arakaki-san! Please come back to your senses! ARAKAKI-SAN!'' The brunette never listened and just continiously tried to strike the black-haired girl.

I gritted my teeth, and resisted the urge to rip this barrier apart with my bare hands. All I could do was watch. Watch Miyuki suffer. I couldn't stand it.

Miyuki dodged and blocked the attacks, but during the struggle she was being forced back by Arakaki. Soon other wounds became apparent to me. Miyuki's cheek was scratched, her leg scraped, her side nicked. But Miyuki was too horrified to pay attention, and gasped with obvious terror as she felt her back come up against a corner of the room. She started to panic as Arakaki came at her again with a sinister smirk, her arm raised to attack.

She clenched her eyes shut, unconsciously holding her knife up, and flinched. She awaited death.

''MIYUKI!'' Her name just escaped my mouth, and my composure was shattered to pieces.

She snapped her eyes open when she felt weight from her blade. Soon after that the gasp of Arakaki. Miyuki stared with shock written clear on her face at Arakaki Kiku, who had the long knife impaled her right through her chest. Her cobalt eyes were wide.

I gulped. This was... This was how Kuchiki Rukia accidentally killed Shiba Kaien.

''C-Curse...you...'' she whispered before blood gushed out her wounds and mouth, soaking Miyuki with it. With her last strength, Arakaki tried to bring her dagger down at Miyuki, but failed. Life drained from her as she released the handle of the weapon, and fell limb, having Miyuki support her body because of her boning knife.

Miyuki just stared ahead with shaking pupils, and slowly slumped to her knees, Arakaki's corpse coming along down with her. She opened her mouth to speak, but her uneven breaths filled her lungs. Wrinkles had gathered around her eyes, and her brows were in a terrible frown. She first looked at the minced corpse of Kobayashi Yori, then the open one of Ito Akiko, and finally down at Arakaki Kiku, who was killed by herself.

''Miyuki...!'' The pain in my palms couldn't even register compared to the pang in my heart when I looked at the black-haired girl.

I was torn between looking away and staring intently, but a singing voice caught my attention.

_Kanashimi no mukoe e to tadoritsukeru nara,_

_(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,)_

It caught my attention because the voice was Miyuki's. I looked around fanatically when I realized that the singing wasn't coming from the memory.

''Miyuki?!'' I called, ''Miyuki, are you there?!''

''Oh shit.''

I turned to Natsume who looked inside the barrier with wide eyes. I followed her gaze and gasped at what I was staring at. The Miyuki of the present, was hovering over the younger Miyuki. The child was holding her head in her hands, screaming, sobbing, and not noticing her older's appearance whatsoever.

My pupils shrank at the transperant form of the Miyuki I knew.

''Mi-...Miyu...ki...'' I whispered, shock overwhelming me.

Miyuki patted the child's head during her song. My eyes softened as I felt a blush fill my cheeks when I listened to her voice. But it soon faded when I heard the meaning of the lyrics.

_Watashi wa mou iranai yo nukumori mo ashita mo._

_(Then I don't need warmth or tomorrow anymore.)_

It was a song of giving up in life.

''_Sehr gut_, ZeroZero-chan! _Ausgezeichnet_!'' The doctor had come in and was smiling. Obviously his foreign words were all praises. However, his praises were muffled and weary.

The child didn't pay any attention on what was happening. She just sat there, her head in her hands. Miyuki stroked her hair softly, her eyes saddening, not noting the doctor at all.

_Seijaku no yami ni maiorita yume wa..._

_(The dream that landed in the darkness of silence...)_

Eventhough a group of doctors came in to move the corpses away, no one noticed the older Miyuki's presence; as if she were a ghost.

_Who...? Tsukanoma koboreta oou no hikari..._

_(Who...? Is the light that briefly spilled on my cheeks...)_

Miyuki kneeled down next to the child, her soft hand never leaving.

_Why...? Morosugita sekai todomeru sube wo shirazu ni..._

_(Why...? Without knowing the method to stop an all-too-fragile world...)_

Her black-gloved hand reached for the bloodied knife.

_Tada watashi wa negatteta..._

_(I was simply wishing...)_

She held the blade right next to the child's neck.

_Sou..._

_(That's right...)_

Both Natsume and I were shocked when we listened to Miyuki's words.

_...Bokyaku wo._

_(For oblivion.)_

I heard Natsume gasp as she clapped her hands and smacked them against the barrier, and after white sparks filled the air, it shattered. I stared at Natsume in confusion and shock as she ran towards Miyuki. She clasped her hands together again and a sword appeared in her hands. She raised her weapon over Miyuki and brought it down swiftly, making Miyuki's transparant form disappear into thin air as the blade ran through her.

''Natsume, what the hell—?!'' I asked, dashing over to her. Shock was clear on my face when I saw that the whole background became a void of black. No memory was visible. Natsume flashed me a hard look before pointing over her shoulder. I saw Miyuki standing in the distance, looking at us. Her eyes were emotionless, her face expressionless.

''That was just a part of Miyuki's consciousness. Just like that one over there; they're not Miyuki,'' Natsume said. ''We'll have to keep an eye on her if she tries to kill her past again.'' I furrowed my brows when I glared at her.

''Kill her past? Was that she was trying to do just now?'' I asked; she nodded in confirmation.

''Killing your own past means certain death. Do you want that?'' My eyes shot her a hard leer when she used that mock. I looked ahead when the memory re-appeared, only this time there was no barrier seperating us from it, we were standing in it. Soon I saw that we were in the same room as when we arrived in this realm for the first time.

''Miyuki's room,'' Natsume said, looking at the crouched down figure on the bed; Miyuki as a child. ''This is about a year afterwards. It seems as though that song triggers other memories within Miyuki.'' The countless drawings on the floor caught my attention. All were drawings of a family; a mother, and father and a child. They all were the same three people- herself, and her parents. I eyes rested on the girl who was drawing, her back facing us. She never showed any signs of being aware of our presence.

''She used to draw all the time. It was the only thing she could do to get the most realistic image of her parents she could,'' she said, crossing her arms. ''That's why she practiced it to perfection.'' I furrowed my eyebrows when Miyuki's sketches of me crossed my mind.

''Her parents... when will we see what happened to them?'' I asked, Natsume closed her eyes and sighed. Slowly, her eyes opened.

''Right now.''

I frowned in confusion before the door opened, and the doctor stepped in. A smirk appeared on his face, and Miyuki looked up with wide, scared eyes. I was giving him a sinister glare.

''H-How do you do, Eigenmann-san?'' Miyuki asked in a meek voice, he smiled.

''I'm doing very well, ZeroZero-chan~ Thanks for asking!'' he said, ''I've got big news!'' He held his pointing finger up. ''You can see your parents, they're here!''

That's when I saw the everything fading to black again, where only Natsume and I stood.

''Hitsugaya,'' she said. ''What you are about to see... will be hard to bear. Are you sure that you...?''

''I'm sure. I will save Miyuki.'' My resolution was obvious to me. ''I'll do anything for that.'' I heard Natsume's scoff.

''Good to know.''

As if someone had flipped a switch, the black void changed to another background. It was in the same room as the one where Miyuki had her nails... I shook my head. My eyes landed on two figures tied to two wooden planks.

Miyuki's parents.

I turned my head to the side to see Miyuki inside a cage. Her hands held the metal bars so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Tears were streaming down her face, her body trembling and her expression was miserable.

''Tou-san... Tou-san...!'' I furrowed my brows when I heard her wimpers, and turned my head to the planks and realized that the father had his head hung low. He was motionless, he wasn't even breathing. I narrowed my eyes in comphrehension; he was already dead.

''The father lasted over seven hours, tortured to death,'' Natsume said and she gestured to his neck. ''Cause of death was the damage to the jugular. But those events weren't necessary for you to see.'' I glared at her.

''Why is that?'' I asked, she shrugged.

''Miyuki's subconsciousness would've showed them to you if they were.''

The door opened and revealed a woman with black hair who looked very similar to Miyuki's mother, her ice-blue eyes pierced right through the air. Slowly she made her way inside the middle of the room, standing right in front of ther mother. She glared at the woman, and looked like she would've attacked her if it weren't for those chains bounding her to the wood.

''YOU MURDERER!'' she yelled, her voice was dripping with venomous hatred. This was quite a differernt character from the one who tried to kill her own daughter a week ago in Seireitei.

''Your husband died?'' the other woman asked casually. Miyuki's mother flinched, looking away from the father's corpse. ''Ah, I see.'' She smirked. ''You watched his final struggles before death, didn't you?'' A sadistic laugh escaped her lips she closed her eyes.

''How dare you, Haruka! Killing so many, killing Kazuma! You're just like that old bastard of an old man of ours!'' Those dark blue eyes were flaring with hatred as she said those words. It made sense to why then why they both looked so alike; they were sisters.

I turned to see that Miyuki just looked on with shock apparent on her face, as if she had never even knew that her mother had a sibling.

''What do you plan on doing with my daughter?!'' she asked, and cringed when she saw that sadistic, insane smirk on her sister's lips.

''....Let her also witness her mother's death as well, Ayano-nee.''

Miyuki's mother gasped, and Miyuki held the bars tighter.

''STOP! DON'T KILL KAA-SAN!'' Miyuki yelled, her voice was begging. I frowned, knowing the inevidable as I cradled my head with my hand.

Higurashi Ayano died. This was a memory of it happening.

But still... seeing Miyuki's face like that, made me want to hope...

The woman laughed out loud before turning to face Miyuki with an insane grin.

''You're pleaing for someone's life? Eventhough you killed my own daughter?'' Miyuki blinked before her eyes widened. She gasped and her pupils trembled, and I frowned deeper as I peeled my eyes open at the woman's statement.

''Ma...Masaka...'' Miyuki whispered, ''A-Are you saying that... Arakaki-san was...?!'' A psychotic grin cocked the woman's lips.

''Kiku was the only daughter of both Arakaki Katashi and me, Arakaki Haruka,'' her eyes narrowed, ''And you are her cousin... as well as her murderer.'' I was nearly as shocked as Miyuki when I heard that.

''I didn't mean to kill her!'' The young girl yelled, and I winced when I heard desperation rising in her voice. ''It was an accident! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!''

Arakaki scowled. '' 'I'm sorry'? Do you honestly think that could possibly mean something for a mother?'' Her eyes narrowed. ''You didn't just stand there and let her kill you. That is your sin,'' she said as she raised her knife. Miyuki gasped, terrorfied as she saw the blade flying and impaled her mother' arm.

Higurashi's eyes were wide and she gasped in pain, blood gushing out from her wound. Arakaki grinded the knife against her arm, making her sister groan in pain, and her mouth was fixed to a wide grin which showed nothing but insanity.

I was not bothering to try and hide my horror.

''Please, let her go!'' Miyuki's tears flew down her cheeks. ''I don't care what happend to me, just please let Kaa-san go!''

''This is what is going to happen to you,'' Arakaki said, her eyes widened as she continued her grinding. ''No matter _how_ much you yell, your plea will be ignored. She can't be saved, she can't be helped.'' She turned to look at Miyuki. ''The only thing you can do is just watch and taste her suffering!'' With that, she flicked her wrist to create a new gash, making blood pour out again from Higurashi's arm, and another yell of agony escaped her lips. Her arm was twitching from the pain.

'The only thing you can do is just watch and taste her suffering', huh? A bitter smirk crossed my lips, but it soon morphered to a cringe.

That was the exact same situation I was in right now.

''Stop it!'' Miyuki yelled, her face showing pure horror. Her eyes were wide, her brows furrowed as she screamed for mercy. ''STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!''

Miyuki was screaming from the top of her lungs, and I flinched when I heard that.

Arakaki pulled her knife out, her face returned to have a calm, but insane perplexion. Higurashi was panting in exhaustion. ''There we go,'' she said, and her eyes zoomed to look at the trembling girl next to her. ''How about this, then:'' she slumped her shoulders, her head tilted to the side as her grin widened. ''Say that you're sorry one thousand times. If you do that, I'll release Ayano-nee.''

Miyuki bowed her head. ''Gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai, gomen nasai,'' Miyuki chanted as fast as she could, and Arakaki stabbed her sister's other arm, making her yell out in pain. ''Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai!''

I suppressed a wince when I saw Miyuki's form, and clenched my fists to prevent them from running everything through with Hyourinmaru.

Arakaki laughed out loud again as Miyuki's chanting never stopped, the pace of her apology never wavered. ''You were always the one who had all the love from everyone. You were always favored by everyone, weren't you, Ayano-nee?'' she asked, Higurashi's face still showed pain and agony. ''You were always Okaa's favorite. I wonder if she'll come along and save you, scolding me again?'' Arakaki stabbed her arm again, ignoring Miyuki's high-pitched, continuous chant of 'Gomen nasai'- 'I'm sorry'.

I was looking down at the floor, my head gripping my scalp and I shivered, listening to Miyuki's pleas.

After Higurashi gasped in pain, her head tilted to the side, her eyes were hollow. ''Ayano-nee. Can you hear me?'' she asked in a soft voice. But she soon noticed that Higurashi was knocked out and slapped her square in the face. ''Hey, listen!'' she yelled. Higurashi jerked up, awake.

''Do you know what sins you are guilty of?'' Arakaki asked, ''Do you know how difficult you made life for me?'' Higurashi glared at her.

''I made no one's life difficult. It was your descision to become a murderer! You killed people, Haruka! Do you not understand what that means?! I couldn't just let you run around on a murderous rampage!'' she yelled, ''Even while you were married to Katashi-san, even while you were pregnant and even after Kiku-kun's birth! You couldn't stop killing people! There's a limit to how much things can last, no matter what your condition was, just like that kuso-oji! (shitty old man)''

''I told you because I trusted you, Ayano-nee... you betrayed me,'' Arakaki said, she tilted her head to one side, her eyes softening and empty. That look reminded me of Arakaki Kiku's eyes. ''Because you told me off to the police, I had to kill Katashi so that he couldn't take me to custody... I had to give Kiku up...'' She licked the back of her knife, the grin returning. ''Did you know? I was going to meet my little girl today for the first time after nine years... but when I arrived, I was told that she went missing. I found her, though, at the end a year ago in a coffin. These 'Wahrheit' people are very kind, aren't they?'' she tilted her head further. ''Thanks to them, I can have my revenge to the two people who I want to suffer most.'' She stabbed her arm again, making Higurashi gasp in pain as blood flew out. She pulled her knife back and repeated the attack.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I looked on.

''Argh!...Ah! Hng! Arghhh...!'' Higurashi's voice was clouded with agony, but soon she didn't give out a yell after she was impaled by the blade. Arakaki grinned madly as she eyed her sister.

''What's the matter?'' Her grin widened, ''Can't you feel anything in your right arm anymore?'' She tilted her head to the other side, her brows cocked. ''In that case, how about I go for your left one?!''

Her knife flew and pierced right through Higurashi's left hand, making her cringe in pain, but no cry escaped her lips. Arakaki pulled the blade back again.

''What's wrong? You'll make me happy by screaming.'' She smirked, ''Let me guess, you think by not screaming you're defying me?'' Higurashi looked up at Arakaki with a cheeky smirk... one which looked identicle to Miyuki's. A bitter smile crossed my lips. There's only so much cockiness can do, huh?

''As if I need to defy the likes of you.'' Arakaki frowned at her sister's answer.

''I've always hated that superiority of yours, little sister.'' Arakaki's scowl deepened. ''As if you were a lot higher than me. As if you were the better of the two of us.'' She held her knife up, a smirk crossing her lips. ''You're not a heroine,'' She held the blade's tip right in front of Higurashi's face, making her gasp in shock. ''Nor are you immortal.'' She pulled her arm back and stabbed her sister's with full force, repeatitively. Higurashi gritted her teeth, and turned her head to face her daughter; Miyuki.

''Sweetheart...'' she whispered, smiling warmly at Miyuki's shaking, sobbing form. Her eyes were wide with obvious horror, her body was trembling, tears were pouring down her cheeks, her brows were furrowed, and sweat was rolling down her face.

This was by far the worst condition I have ever seen Miyuki in. I slowly made my way over to the cage, my heart feeling a dull pain everytime I got closer; because I always got a clearer view of her miserable expression. ''Miyuki...!''

Eventhough Arakaki wasn't ceasing her rampageous attacks, Higurashi's expression still never wavered. ''Be strong. Never give up... never get beaten down, no matter what happens.''

''DON'T YOU DARE IGNORE ME! LOOK AT ME, BITCH!'' Higurashi stayed unfazed, but flinched ever so slightly when Arakaki stabbed in harder in her rage.

''Live... Even if only a minute, a second, live longer. Live longer to survive as long as you can.''

''DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH ME!!!''

''Kaa...san...!'' Miyuki tilted her head down, sobbing as she looked down to hide her tears.

''Miyuki!'' The girl jerked her head up, startled by Higurashi's exclaim, and widened her eyes at her mother's bright, loving smile.

''...**Aishiteru**.''

''AHHHH!!!'' Arakaki roared, and the echo of her knife piercing Higurashi's chest rang through the room. I gasped when I saw Higurashi's blood going right through me, and splattering against Miyuki's cheek.

Those words of love were the last which left Higurashi Ayano's lips. Miyuki could only watch her mother's head tilt to the side, her eyes rolled back and lifeless.

''Kaa-san...Kaa-san... No...'' she whispered, her voice was shaking. She soon brought her hands to her head and cried. ''**NOOOOOOOOOO!!!**'' I cringed violently when I saw Miyuki, her face covering her face, screamed and cired from the top of her lungs.

''Oka, look! I'm better than Ayano-nee, see?!'' Arakaki said to the whole room, her hands rising up. A grin only a psychotic could muster fixed on her lips. But soon she gasped as she looked ahead. ''I... forgot Oka's final and only wish... I promised her... that I'd take care of Ayano...it was the only thing she ever asked of me...'' She screamed in despair before holding her face in her hands. ''Oka will never come back to me after what I've done!'' she said, ''After... what I've done!''

She looked over to Miyuki's crying form, her face burried in her hands. Then turned to face her sister's corpse. She looked up to the ceiling and let her hands fall limb to her side.

''HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'' she laughed, her grin returning, her pupils shrank to a mere dot. ''Oh, what the hell? I knew it all along. The fact that this side of me has been a demon for a long time...''

I turned to look at Miyuki. She wimpered and cried, tears flowing down her eyes like rivers.

''HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!''

Why... Why did she have to go through all this?!

''Dammit... DAMMIT!'' I yelled out, blood soaking my fists.

I felt a figure next to me, and saw that it was a girl with raven hair from the corner of my eye. My body whipped around to face her before I opened my mouth to whisper her name, amethyst eyes stared up at me. My face showed pure shock.

''Miyuki...''

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: Okay, for those who don't know, 'Aishiteru' is about the strongest way you express love in the Japanese language XP

Now, I have a guest, (a good childhood friend of mine), so I'm not so sure if I can continue updating in this pace. But I'll try! I need to entertain her... though now she's playing NDS which involves her drumming to J-pop music. I know. Lucky... XD

Thank you for all those who reviewed! I treasured each an every comment! Please review this chapter to tell me what you think!!!

Special thanks to Dragon of Twilight for betaing this chapter!!!

Haa, I love torturing my characters XD

~Hate it? Love it? Something it between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!

.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.


	15. Another Song

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! This is the last of the tri-chapter ark XD **

**I know that the last two chapters (13 & 14) were hard to read for some people if they don't like horror. I apologize to those whom this applies to and thank you for keeping on reading!**

**Now, the gore is over. No horror or deaths or insane OCs in this chapter XP**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF THIS FANFICTION.**

-x-X-x-

**悲しみの向こうへ****: ****第****三**

**(Kanashimi no Moukou He: dai-san)**

'Another Song'

_**If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,**_

Then I won't even fear the lonely slumber anymore.

-x-X-x-

''Miyuki...''

She walked past me, and I could feel disappointment building in my chest. I shook it off to turn around and observed the girl's frame. Was this another one of Miyuki's 'conscious'? I saw Natsume walking up to me, her arms crossed while 'Miyuki' walked halted a few feet in front, her back towards us.

_What are you two doing here?_

I blinked when I heard the raven-haired girl in front of me ask that question, her voice echoed slightly. Natsume answered, her eyes showing boredom and indiffernce. _'To give Miyuki a good old fashion wake up call. I'm sure that you won't mind showing us the next memory so that we can continue on our little joy-ride.'_

My eyes were wide when I noticed that Natsume's mouth wasn't moving. The other scoffed. _Miyuki will be beyond pissed at you, Natsume_. Green eyes blinked before laughing at that.

_'Do you honestly think that would stop me?' _

'Miyuki' looked at us over her shoulder, and she smirked at my flabbergasted expression. _Looks like her Prince Charming will be coming to the rescue_. I opened my mouth to speak, but she looked ahead and began to sing. When her voice rang through the darkness around us I lost mine.

_Kanashimi no Moukou e to tadoritsukeru nara,  
(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,)_

I had to suppress my blush as she slowly walked over to Arakaki's laughing form, her eyes calm and soft, like her voice. Her hands went through the insane woman who soon disappeared into thin air.

_Watashi wa mou kore ijiou nani mo kanjinakute ii.  
(then I'd rather not feel anything beyond this anymore.)_

'Miyuki' turned around and faced the corpse of Higurashi Ayano with sad eyes. She stepped towards her before trailing her hands softly down 'her' mother's face, making me frown deeply.

_Zetsubou no mukou e to kimi wa kaeru no ka?  
(Will you return to the other side of despair?)_

Black-gloved hands brushed the mother's bangs. After caressing the ebony lock lovingly, Miyuki retreated her hand, and my eyes widened when Higurashi's form wavered until it became nothing but nothingness.

_Shijou no ai yukyuu no hoo ni kegarenaki mi wo yudane.  
(The utmost love entrusts its emblemished body to the eternal sail.)_

She raised her voice as the darkness spread in a faster paste, consuming everything in sight. The torture cell was fading to black. Slowly, her legs took her over to the child Miyuki.

_Kanashimi no moukou e to tadoritsukeru nara,  
(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,)_

She crouched down, looking at her sobbing form before wrapping her arms around her. 'Miyuki' rested her cheek on the child's head, closing her eyes. I opened my mouth to protest, remembering what happened when Miyuki's conscious got near her past. Just when I took a step forward, Natsume held her arm out, blocking my path.

''Calm down. This one isn't a suicidal thought of Miyuki.'' Was all she said before bring her arm back down and crossing both.

_Watashi wa mou osorenai kodoku na nemuri sae...  
(Then I won't even fear the lonely slumber anymore...)_

Soon she started to disappear, and I reached a hand out for her, my pulse racing. The image of her fading was... hard to watch and painful. Eventhough I knew that it wasn't _her_... I still... ''Miyuki!'' She turned to look at me with a warm smile, a smile Miyuki always gave me.

_She's waiting for you, Toushirou._

Everything flashed with blinding light, and I had to shield my eyes. After I noticed that the light had faded, I brought my arm down to look around me with astonishment. We were in a room with many adolencents sitting on a desk, rowed up in the room. At the front was Miyuki with an older woman. If I remembered correctly, I was in what the living called a classroom.

The female uniform consisted of a black jacket and a... I blushed. A black mini skirt... which was ridiculously short! Humans have no decency! And the fact that her black socks were up so high wasn't really helping!

''...Oi, Chichou, you're blushing. Like a red shinigami-lightbulb,'' Natsume said with a flat look. I whipped my head over to glare at her.

''One more word and you won't have working limbs anymore.'' I felt like I was retorting to Matsumoto. I furrowed my brows at that thought. That was definitely one of the _last_ things that I needed.

''This is Higurashi Miyuki. She'll be our new student starting today.'' I looked ahead to see that the older woman was making the introduction; and on the blackboard was Miyuki's name written in Kanji: 日暮 美雪, 'Higurashi Miyuki.' She smiled wryly before bowing.

''Y-Yoroshiku onegashimas,'' she said. I raised my eyebrows. This was the first time I have ever heard Miyuki stutter in shyness. Soon whispers were heard throughout the whole room.

''She's short! Like a shogakusei! Is she in the right school?''

''Look at her, she's fishbelly pale! Does she ever go outside? Hahaha! I bet she's a... what do the yankees call them again? Ah yeah! 'Goth'!''

''Woah! Kawaii ne! Goth Loli!'' My eyebrow twitched at that.

''Isn't it odd for us to have a new student right now all of a sudden?''

''Hmpf. She's not bad looking, but she better not let that go over her head! If she thinks she can beat me, she's WRONG!''

''What's with the gloves? Isn't that against school policy?''

''Weeeiird...''

My attention was interrupted by Natsume, who let out a deep, long sigh. ''Finally. The torturing's over. I was starting to get sick of it... You got off pretty lucky, considering that there were more horrific things for you to see.'' My eyes widened at her sadistic smirk, something I hadn't seen since Natsume and I left for Miyuki's inner self. I cringed at that; the memory of Miyuki's breakdown flooding into my mind again. But before I could say anything she continued. ''After she was saved by the government, she received therapy there. Two years later, they stationed her in a school in Karakura to resocialize. But... Miyuki wasn't easily accepted by the crowd.'' I turned to face her, frowning in confusion.

''Why is that?'' I asked. It really made no sense to me; Miyuki was always so out-going - she even managed to get Soifon to like her. Natsume shrugged.

''Miyuki was a stutter-doll; no good first impressions. She was pretty; the girls didn't like her. She was physically frail, not being able to participate in sports or swimming; she was seen as weak. Short; great target. Absolutely hopeless in domestics; she blew the kitchen up everytime she had home economy. The list goes on and on and on...'' she said, sighing. ''Either that girl excelled or she completely blew it; there is nothing in between. So it ranged from jealously to pure degrading.'' She furrowed her brows as she looked ahead, making me turn around to see what she was looking at. The background had changed again and Miyuki was on the ground, her obento box was scattered on the floor ahead of her, as well as her books. Three girls laughed at her, and she looked up, looking at them through her glasses. The fact that I never knew Miyuki wore glasses were irrelavant to me at the moment.

I frowned at the sight before me. Again, even in a situation like this, I could do nothing. Absolutely _nothing_.

''Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you drop your crap! It was your lunch I wanted to knock over - but since you're unable to make _food_ there is no 'lunch' to knock over!'' one girl said, laughing. I suppressed the urge to sneer at her when Miyuki gulped as she stood up.

''P-Please, don't do something like that. I-I don't want any t-trouble...'' Another girl turned to look at her with a leer.

''Don't get cocky, bitch.'' Miyuki flinched when she felt the two other girls grab her by the arm each. Eventhough she struggled, she couldn't break free. I glared at those wenches.

''Still as weak and useless as ever, are we, bookworm-geek-chan?'' the girl in front asked, smirking. ''I always found it strange that you always have those gloves of yours on, so I decided to find out.'' I gritted my teeth when she grabbed Miyuki's hand, amethyst eyes grew wide.

''Stop it! Please let go!'' I frowned when Miyuki's protests were ignored with a grin by that girl, her olive green eyes shining with glee. But it soon her expression morphed to horror when she slipped her gloves of, making me wince. The girls eyes peeled open when she had a look of her fingers; stripped of it's nails. The pink flesh and mangled tips made the girl squeak, surprised as she immidietly released her hands.

''God's Teeth!'' she exclaimed, taking a few steps back. She then pointed an accusing finger at Miyuki, who was on her knees because she was pushed down when the two other girls jumped away. ''W-What kind of _freak_ are you?!'' Miyuki looked up at them and I furrowed my brows when I saw her scared, panicked eyes.

''Please... Give me my g-gloves back,'' Miyuki said meekly, and the girl just smirked, showing contempt. I grit my teeth.

''You'd like that, wouldn't you?'' she asked, waving the fabric in front of her in a mocking manner. ''Try and get it, ya _freak_!'' I cringed when I saw Miyuki pulling her hands close to her chest, in attempts to shield them from everyone's view. A crowd started to form around the girls and I intensified my glare.

''D-Don't do this, please! It's extremely childish and unecessary!''

''What was that?! You dare to lecture me?!'' Olive eyes flashed with anger before she pulled her arm back- about to hit Miyuki. I instinctively took a step forward, and Natsume's hand shot up to my shoulder, reminding me again that this was nothing other than a mere memory.

...But it still made me want to bend the shinigami rules a bit and give that girl a good piece of my mind.

I glared fiercely at the hand which was flying towards Miyuki's face, which made the black-haired girl flinch before closing her eyes. I gasped when I saw that the girl's hand was held in place by a larger one; a male. He looked down at her with an angry expression, and the girl's mouth was agape.

''Just what do you think you're doing?!'' he asked with a loud voice. He seemed to be a student, judging from his uniform. Dark blue, short hair, and hazel eyes.

...I didn't like him.

''K-Koga-kun!'' The girl's face instantly became red, and I had to suppress the urge to scowl. Don't tell me, he was the 'hottest guy of the school'? I shook my head to rid it of memories from the acadamy, which just thinking about made me shudder. Miyuki looked up at him with shock written on her face, then her eyes trailed over to a group standing behind him; a blond and gray-haired female. The males were a pair of twins. Brown hair and brown eyes.

The four glared at the three girls, and whispers were heard among the audience.

''Isn't that the school band?''

''Kyaa! Koga-kun is so cool!'' I scowled at that statement when I heard another squeal like that.

''I sense jealously~'' Natsume sang, clouded with taunt. My eyebrows twitched.

''Urusei!''

But I did owe him my thanks... in some way.

--

After the whole scenario, the group had taken Miyuki up to the roof with them, where Miyuki was in a similar situation as she often was with Matsumoto - affixiated.

''She's so cute! Can we keep her? Oh please, oh please, oh please say yes!'' the blonde girl begged as she hugged Miyuki close to her. I could only chuckle as I looked at Miyuki squirming in the blonde's grip. The gray-haired girl walked over to the two with crossed arms as she shook her head.

''Sakiko, put the girl down or she won't live to 'be kept' if this goes on,'' she said obviously. The bubbly girl sighed before releasing Miyuki, who was soon gasping for air.

''Ah, arigato gozaimasu...'' she said and earned another squeal from the girl before she launched herself to grab Miyuki into her grasp again.

''Kawaaiii~!''

''Ahh!''

Well, this seemed familiar.

''You're Higurashi Miyuki from class 1-2, ne? I'm Hamada Sakiko!'' she said, releasing Miyuki once more and Miyuki filled her lungs with gasps. The gray-haired girl sighed, painfully annoyed by her friend's behavior, but seemed to be used to it at the same time.

''Oonishi Keiko,'' she said with crossed arms. The two identical twins jumped out dramaticly.

''And we are-!'' They did some poses which only made me arch an eyebrow, thinking what the hell was wrong with them. ''-Koichi and Koji Mori!'' And judging from Miyuki's expression, she was asking herself exactly the same question. Oonishi shook her head. A grimace automatically crossed my face when I saw _that_ guy walking over to Miyuki with a confident smile.

''I'm Koga Masaru, the one who sits right next to you in music class.'' A wordless growl escaped my throat as I glared at him. Miyuki blinked for a moment, awfully calm, considering the situation she was in. First she was saved by a bunch of strangers and then she was dragged up the roof with them. If this was normal for humans, then I needed to re-study human behaviour.

''Su-Sumi masen, but I don't remember you at all,'' she said apologeticly with a frown before Koga gave out a sigh of dread, making his friends laugh at him. Even I had to allow a small upturn of the corner of my lips. He flashed them all a glare, his eyes twitching slightly, but he didn't say anything.

''She's about the only girl who doesn't know you, isn't she, Koga?'' Oonishi asked with an amused smirk. Koga cleared his throat and regained his composure, making me unconsciously grin.

''The main point is!'' he said, changing the subject, ''You're now an official member of the band! Regardless of what you want!'' Miyuki blinked, and I didn't like the forcefulness he was using on Miyuki _one bit_.

''...E-Excuse me?'' Miyuki asked, her eyes flying wide open. ''Surely you j-jest?'' she asked, perplexed. But she was only replied with a smirk.

''From sitting next to you in music class, I deducted that you sing well. Our band needs a female lead vocal next to me, so everything's settled!''

''B-But I- That's- But-!''

''I hope we will work well together from now on!''

I blinked.

The first thing I was going to do when I get back was get my hands on some human sociality books and study them.

--

Miyuki let a long sigh of despair escape her lips after she swallowed the bite of her odango. She looked ahead with a weary expression on her face, because on one side sat Oonishi and on the other Hamada, silently eating their food.

''...Do you two plan on following me everywhere?'' Miyuki asked timidly, making me wrinkle my nose - I still wasn't used to hearing Miyuki with that shy tone.

''We need to make sure that you go to band-practice after school,'' Oonishi said simply, Hamada nodding in agreement. Miyuki took a deep breath before she let it out as a sigh.

''But I'm honestly not interested.'' The other two stayed unfazed. The silver-haired sighed before putting her obento on the floor next to her, looking over to Miyuki with her amber eyes.

''Do you know why Koga is so persistant for you to be a part of this group?'' she asked, that question perked my interest. ''Higurashi, you're chestized every single day at school - because you're unpopular. That is bugging him a great deal.'' She crossed her arms to look at her in a professional manner, her spikey hair bouncing as she tilted her head to one side. I scowled when she mentioned that, an unfamiliar, bitter feeling rising inside me. ''Because you have a good voice, he's using that as an excuse to bring you into the band, so that you won't have to face treatment like that anymore.'' The scowl just deepened as I crossed my arms.

Miyuki blinked at Oonishi before scoffing. Surprise became apparent on my face when I saw the Miyuki I knew showing in those amethyst orbs for a moment. ''Isn't this a very calculative way of saying things, Oonishi-san?'' Miyuki asked, smirking. ''Whatever happened to 'it doesn't matter what the others say, its a test of character' story?'' I smiled slightly, feeling a wave of euphoria at hearing the spark in her voice. Oonishi returned the look.

''It still exists, we're just helping you to reduce the factor,'' she said. ''You should do it; besides, I think Masaru's interested in you.''

Natsume rubbed her arms, looking over at me with a grin. ''Brrr... Okay, Chichou, I know you're angry, but would you mind not making the surrounding temperature below zero?'' I blinked when I turned over to give her a flustered glare.

''I'm not angry!''

''The temperature, Chichou, rise the temperature for Christ's sake.''

I muttered curses under my breath, still angitated. Strangely what that girl, Oonishi, just said really annoyed me to no end. I kept thinking about it but I couldn't find the answer to that question. Dammit.

Miyuki laughed nervously, furrowing her brows in an awkward line. ''T-That is a funny j-joke.'' Oonishi smirked, amusement glittering in her abnormal coloured eyes.

''Then why don't you join and see for yourself if it's a joke or not? Besides, not like you have anything to lose, right?'' she asked. Miyuki glanced at her for a moment before sighing.

''If you insist...'' Hamada wrapped her arms around Miyuki in a death-grip, squealing.

''Yay! Miyuki-chan is now one of us!''

Miyuki just sighed, long, deep and dreaded, making me grin. She opened an eye to peek at Oonishi. ''Are either of you in love with Koga-san?'' I widened my eyes at Miyuki's question, and so did the gray-haired girl.

''No, why?'' she asked, arching a brow. Hamada also blinked, seemingly confused. Miyuki shook her head, waving her off under the tight hold of Hamada.

''Iie, betsuni. (It's nothing)''

Soon realization dawned on me; she was thinking about the incident with Arakaki, Ito and Kobayashi.

--

The black-haired girl was standing on a stage, looking down at the four audiences, who were sitting on chairs. As I glanced at Miyuki it was obvious to me that she was nervous, fumbling with her glasses in her hands.

''I'm going home afterall...'' she said, turning around, only to be held back by Hamada, who somehow managed to sprint up there within a few seconds.

''You can't do that, Miyuki-chan! You must face your fear!'' she said encouragingly, and Miyuki gave her a flat look.

''B-But...! Hamada-san, isn't that a phrase used in every movie nowadays? T-That won't help!''

''Will you two quit making such a show and get on with it already!?'' The two Moris asked in an union, annoyance and boredom obvious in their voices. ''You may look cute, Miyuki-chan, but you need to work on that attitude of yours! The shy-girl only works for a certain amount of time!'' Miyuki frowned before blushing, obviously embarrassed.

''Sumi masen!''

I let out a small, amused scoff at Miyuki's look.

The black-haired girl sighed as she looked down at the small audience again. She held a hand over the microphone before speaking.

''I s-should just sing a song?''

''That's right,'' said Koga with a grin. Miyuki's eyebrow twitched as she gulped. ''Take one that you wrote; you said that you enjoyed lyricy, right?'' I narrowed my eyes in annoyance when he said that; it was something about her which he knew and I didn't. Amethyst eyes gave him a flat look, albeit with some alarm.

''But you didn't say anything about that earlier on! I can't-!''

''You can and you will. Now, if you'll be so kind...'' he said, gesturing for her to start. Miyuki let another sigh escape her lips as she closed her eyes. After a moment of silence, she tilted her head back up and removed her hand from the microphone.

I could feel my pulse racing as she opened her mouth.

_''Kanashimi no mukou e to tadoritsukeru nara,''  
(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,)_

I gasped when I realized that this was the song Miyuki's conscious always sang to guide us to another memory.

_''Watashi wa mou iranai yo nukumori mo ashita mo.''  
(Then I don't need warmth or tomorrow anymore.)_

Eventhough I was blushing, I frowned, it was exactly the same song. The same, depressing song...

Miyuki stopped fumbling, and held a somewhat down-casted expression on her face.

_''Seijaku no yami ni maiorite yume wa...  
(The dream that landed in the darkness of silence...)_

_Who...? Tsukanoma koboreta oou no hikari,''  
(Who...? Is the light that briefly spilled on my cheeks,)_

Her eyes saddened. And I could very imagine why. This was a song for her time in Wahrheit, wasn't it...?

Though I would never admit it... I did find her voice...

My blushed deepened and I shook my head, shaking that thought out of my mind.

_''Why...? Morosugita sekai todomeru sube wo shirazu ni...  
(Why...? Without knowing the method to stop an all-too-fragile world...)_

This was Miyuki's story of a little, happy girl who was thrown in the flaming pits of hell.

_Tada watashi wa negatteta, sou, boukyaku wo.''  
(I was simply wishing, that's right, for oblivion.) _

Soon she furrowed her brows, and I remembered that this was the line where her conscious tried to kill her past - this was the line that meant most to her. It was also the line that _scared_ me the most.

_''Kanashimi no mukou e to tadoritsukeru nara...  
(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow...)_

_Watashi wa mou kore ijou nani mo kanjinakute ii.''  
(The I'd rather not feel anything beyond this anymore.)_

She softened her eyes, making them distant and unfocused - a blush instantly rised to my cheeks, too fast for me to hinder as I gazed at her expression.

_''Why...? Kurikaesu kotoba tsuieta yakusaku wa,''  
(Why...? The repeating words, the collapsed promise,)_

I gave into the urge of closing my eyes and allowing myself to drawn in her voice, my heart fluttering in my chest.

_''Hitokiwa utsukishiku hibiki, ima, togireta.  
(Echoed conspicuiously and beautifully, and now, severed)_

_Zetsubou no mukou e to kimi wa kaeru no ka?''  
(Will you return to the other side of despair?)_

Her gloved hand clasped over her chest; where her heart was.

_''Shijou no ai yukyuu no hoo ni kegarenaki mi wo yudane.  
(The utmost love entrusts its emblemished body to the eternal sail.)_

_Kanashimi no mukou e to tadoritsukeru nara,''  
(If I can make my way to the other side of sorrow,)_

She closed her eyes as her shoulders slumped.

_''Watashi wa mou osorenai kodoku na nemuri sae...''  
(Then I won't even fear the lonely slumber anymore...)_

She sighed when she finished, and there was a brief silence. Miyuki gulped before looking away, blushing in embarrassment. Before I knew it I was staring in awe, but was brought back to my senses by Natsume's snickering. I scowled at her when she gave me a suggestive smirk.

''That was wonderful, Miyuki-chan!'' Hamada said, wiping tears from eyes and Oonishi shaking her head next to the exaggerating blonde. She crossed her arms before looking up.

''I have absolutely no objections with her being the female lead,'' she said obviously, scowling when the two twins peeked over each her shoulder, both having unreadable expressions on their faces.

''Me!'' one said, ''Likey!'' said the other. I didn't know which was Koichi Mori or Koji Mori, since they were too similar to tell apart properly. They turned to look at Koga, who had his arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face. He shrugged, still in his chair. I arched a brow at him.

''Your voice? It's great, nothing to complain about,'' he said, waving it off as a trivial matter, ''Your attitude and song, however; CRAP!'' Miyuki blinked in surprise before she raised her eyebrows. He stood from his chair and walked up the stairs to the stage. His arms never uncrossed as he walked over to her.

''Sure, it's good to sing sad songs once in a while, but you're going WAY overboard with that, dudette,'' he said as he looked down at her with raised eyebrows. I blinked when I realized that he had the same opinion as me in this.

Miyuki frowned. ''I-I'm affraid that I don't agree with that.'' He shrugged again, making it obvious that he didn't care.

''Too bad, because you're a part of **my** band now, so you will do as I say.'' He smirked. ''And I say to stop singing as if you were suicidal! I want livelier songs!'' His pushiness was making a distinct pulse run through my head again.

The black-haired girl looked up at him as if he were a moron. ''...Are you sure that you're okay?'' He laughed at her question.

''Just by looking at you, it's obvious that you're sad, depressed,'' he said, his smile never wavering. ''But sitting there, thinking about it and feeling bad for yourself won't help. I'm not asking you to forget, just don't live off it.'' Miyuki's eyes grew wide and she arched a brow. After a few seconds she opened her mouth to speak.

''...And you think singing happy songs will make me feel better?'' she asked, dumbfounded. He patted her head, making her narrow her eyes. My since recently-tight fists were shaking. Now he was touching her?!

''Absolutely!''

''Cheezy! Masaru, man, how can you stoop so low, trying to hit on a girl?'' one of the Mori's asked, the other continued. ''Where have you lost your manliness!?''

I could feel the urge wanting to run that guy through with Hyourinmaru rise in an alarming rate. Natsume sneezed, then turned to glare at me.

''What the hell?! Aint 'cha suppose to be a prodigy or somethin' like that?! Control yer reiatsu for PETE'S SAKE! Yer jealousy 'll freeze me to death!''

My attention was caughed when it was if the memories had ended as being a 'film', we now only saw a few scenes which I couldn't make out properly, since the background was too bright for my liking. Though I could tell that it was Miyuki with some other people, where they were all smiling. I gasped when I heard Miyuki's voice, echoing around me.

_They were right, another song... was really what I needed._

_It was because of them I could move on. They taught me how to make friends... though much more importantly how to be a friend._

_But I... I left them without even telling my condition. I never said goodbye._

I widened my eyes when her voice became depressed. Natsume's voice made me jerk my head to look at her. ''Looks like we finally made it to the end of the line.'' I narrowed my eyes as I turned to face the direction Natsume was looking at; right in the light, a small figure with long, black hair was faintly visable. Behind all the flashes of memories.

_But... it doesn't matter..._

_Okaa-san and Otou-san... They want me dead... too, ne?_

I widened my eyes in horror when I saw the memory of Miyuki's parents impaling her with their lances flash by and I cringed. I could feel guilt rising from the pit of my stomach, hatred following.

_Maybe... I should fulfill their wish this one time..._

''Oh GOD, give me a BREAK!'' Natsume said, rolling her eyes before she shook her head. ''Well, this girl's now an official moron. For Christ sake, will she quit being such an angsty wimp?!'' she muttered herself as she clapped her hands, completely ignoring how shaken I was by hearing Miyuki's words. She smacked her palms against the barrier carelessly and it shattered, the shards fading to thin air.

''What will we—?'' she cut me off.

''_We_ will be doing nothing. _You_ now have to do what I brought you here for,'' she said, facing me with stern eyes. ''All the memories you had to witness was just for you to get deep enough into her heart so that we could find Miyuki...'' her voice trailed off as she turned to look at the said girl. She was facing us with her back, her hair and dress waving slightly. ''Now you're here...'' her eyes zoomed into my teal ones. ''To bring her back.''

I narrowed my eyes, unfazed by her testing gaze. Without saying a word, I turned around and walked towards the light, towards Miyuki.

''I wouldn't have it any other way.''

_**-Owari-**_

**...And that concludes the 'Kanashimi No Mukou He' Ark! I know that it's obvious to the lot of you but I always wanted to say this once: Now it's the time of truth! I know I was mean to make it as if Miyuki would appear in this chapter, but I'm eviiiil~**

**The last time Hitsugaya saw Miyuki was in chapter 9. But the last time he actually had a conversation with her was in chapter 8. So, thank you for those who have patience up until chapter 16!**

**First off, thank you so much to those who have reviewed, favored and alerted this story! You are the amazing people who I write for! Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter!**

**A special thanks to my beta, Dragon of Twilight! **

**Nyee, my friend now wants to go on Facebook, meaning that she's going to hog the PC for a while. Her drool for this machine in dripping on my shoulder, so I'm going to have to make a sign out now! (EW!)**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.**


	16. Forever

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san!**

**Hmm, well, considering that this chapter is one of those 'Something big and eventful's gonna happen now' assets, I guess I have nothing to say other than 'ENJOY!'**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.**

-x-X-x-

**'Forever'**

_**You, who has been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness,**_

_**Don't say things like, 'I can't laugh,' or 'I hate people.'**_

_**For now, you're fine as you are. I know the time will come when you realize that.**_

_**Because one day, we'll understand each other.**_

_**-Hitsugaya Toushirou**_

-x-X-x-

I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage, my hand trembling. My breath was even shaky. Sweat was building on my forehead, and I pressed my lips in a thin line as a blush creeped on my cheeks. I could feel so many emotions within me that it was creating a storm inside.

After longing for her, she was finally before me. In arm's distance. Her back was still towards me, her form was trembling. She was crying. Even so, I stood still. After swallowing the lump in my throat and taking a deep breath, I looked at her with a playful smirk on my lips.

''What the heck are you doing, Miyuki? Crying like that.'' I asked, arching a brow. She jerked her head up as she gasped, not being aware of my presence earlier on. With out turning, I heard her speaking.

''T-...Toushirou...?'' she asked, I scoffed fondly.

''Who else, baka?''

I frowned when she tilted her head down, trembling again. ''W-What are you doing here...?'' Her voice was meek and quiet, unlike her usual snappy, teasing tone.

''To bring you back home. Everyone's waiting.''

''...Home...?'' I could hear the surprised tone in her voice, desperately trying to push down the sobs. ''You idiot... Doing something as dangerous as this just for that... Do you know what could've happened if my soul completely rejected yours?!'' She tilted her head up, still not turning around. There was a brief silence as a small breeze swept by us.

''You're not angry with me?''

My eyes widened as I raised my eyebrows at that question. A fond snicker escaped my mouth before I tilted my head on one side slightly. ''Why would I be angry with you? Ba. Ka. Ya. Rou.''

''Wasn't it my fault that... you got so badly injured?''

I blinked when I detected grief and fear in her voice. But soon an ironic smile crossed my lips. I was blaming myself for her wounds, and she was blaming herself for mine? Stupid girl.

But this was the girl I knew and wanted back.

''...If anyone is at fault, then me. I wasn't able to protect you at that time...'' I looked away, my eyebrows furrowed when I felt guilt stirring. ''Forgive me.'' I gasped when I saw her swirling around, her long hair flashing around her along with her body. She looked up at me with tear-filled, amethyst eyes. I could only stare at her, my mouth shaking, slightly parted. This was the first time I saw _her_ face after the whole incident.

''Baka! What are you talking about?! None of this was your fault!'' she snapped, tears spilling from her eyes. ''All I have ever done was cause grief...'' she said, looking down as she shook her head lightly, covering her eyes with her hand. ''Don't you think it would be just for the best if I would disappear?''

I could feel my heart stopping when those words left her lips. She looked back up me, desperation in her teary eyes.

''Please! I'm sorry for making you go through all this trouble... but it would definitely work out fine!''

I could feel my fists shaking as I looked down. Natsume had told me that Miyuki would be in this state, but actually hearing those words leaving her mouth was tearing me apart.

''I'm not needed in Soul Society, so that would be covered...''

That she was saying such things with that calm, thoughtful tone... I could feel my nails re-opening the self-inflicted wounds on my palms, my knuckles turning white.

''Everything would be alright, won't it? Everyone will be okay, right?''

My face held a horrified expression when she asked me the next question.

''**You'll be okay, won't you?**''

I looked at her with the fiercest glare I could muster. She gasped before shivering in fear as I grabbed her upper-arms tightly with my hands. She looked up at me with wide, scared eyes.

''OF COURSE I WON'T BE OKAY, YOU _IMBECILE_!'' I yelled, making her flinch. ''All of the Gotei 13 who knew you, are you planning to throw them all away for your past?!'' All my bottled up anger and frustration started to build itself to it's peak.

''You know what I think? You're being a pathetic weakling who clings onto the past, and what for?!''

I stared into her wavering eyes with fierce ones. I was _furious._

And she could tell.

''Because you enjoy feeling self-pity? Don't fuck with me!'' I snapped, and she flinched when she heard me swearing. Her mouth was shaking, as if she wanted to say something in her state of shock, but not certain what.

''What the hell are we to you?! What the hell am **I** to you?!'' My glare intensified. ''Just little figurines on the sidelines which are suppose to watch you killing yourself?!'' A frown creased her eyebrows, seemingly because of guilt.

''Are we just supposed to just stand there, smile and wave goodbye as you fuck off with a clean conscious?!'' She swallowed the lump in her throat as she bit her lip at my words. ''Am **I** expected to do _that_?!''

Wide amethyst eyes just stared at me with pure shock reflecting from them. She wasn't able to respond.

I didn't care.

''Why can't you just for once use some common sense and let it go?! Is crying over your past so much more entertaining than just getting over it?!'' I gripped her arms tighter. Soon her eyes flashed with anger as she glared up at me.

''JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?! SURE, YOU SAW A FEW BITS AND PIECES, BUT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN **EVERYTHING**!'' she yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks. I gasped at her outburst, shocked that she was able to yell so loud... this was the first time I have ever seen her so outraged.

''HOW WOULD YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?! HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY IMAGINE MY PAIN?! YOU **CAN'T**!'' She panted after those words left her lips, but my grip on her never wavered. I gritted my teeth as I suppressed a growl.

''OF COURSE I CAN'T IMAGINE YOUR PAIN! AND YOU CAN'T IMAGINE MINE EITHER!!!''

She gasped as she looked at me with huge eyes, my words had completely caught her off guard. But I needed to let this out. I had to. I **had **to.

''First I learn about the whole soul withdrawal symptoms after hearing that you nearly died from stab wounds! Then it continues with your look-a-like taunting me that this was all my fault, as if I didn't already know that! Your condition worsens, just making my goddamn freakin' day! Ukitake and Soifon nagged me about your well-being! Matsumoto and Hinamori are worried for your sake!'' I took another breath, and narrowed my eyes down at her. ''Do you know how much trouble you caused?!'' I swallowed the lump in my throat. ''DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW _SCARED _**I** WAS!? I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! I THOUGHT THAT I WAS GOING TO LOSE YOU! AND IT WOULD ALL BE MY FAULT!''

Miyuki looked up at me with wide, disbelieving eyes as a terrible frown creased her brows. ''T-Toushirou...''

I cut her off; I wasn't finished.

There was no way I was going to let her off this time.

This time, she went too far.

''And then I go through seeing all these... these horrible, _horrible_ memories...!'' She violently cringed at that. ''When I finally reach you... all you can do is beg me to let you kill yourself?! JUST WHAT KIND OF SICK, TASTELESS JOKE IS THIS!?''

A frown creased her face before she looked away, unable to look at me in the eye. I took a deep breath, which ended up being choked because of all these emotions in my head.

''Even though you have a life with Hinamori, with Matsumoto, with... me... you still... you still act like this... Am I not good enough for you...? Why aren't you at least trying?!'' I asked as she turned around to face me again, my eyes showing pain and hurt. But it went as soon as it came before my eyes flashed with anger.

''You imbecile! You dimwit! You dumbass! You fool! You dunce! You moron! You simpleton! You blockhead! You... You...'' I gritted my teeth as I cringed when I felt a pain in my chest. ''You idiot...''

I furrowed my eyebrows as my eyes softened, words I locked up in my heart starting to flow out of my mouth. ''Miyuki, I... I need you with me...'' I tilted my head down, tightening my grip on her arms again. ''Why is it you can't see that?'' I asked weakly.

''But Toushirou...'' I cut her off by pulling her close to me. Wrapping my arms tightly around her, burying my nose into the crock of her neck. My heart pounded against my chest as I breathed in, taking in her scent. Countless feelings washed over me as I held her tight.

''_Please_...'' I whispered as I brought her body right up against mine, not wanting to let her go. The constant worry of her disappearing and fear of hurting her small frame in my embrace made a battle of self-control stir within me. After a while of brief silence I heard Miyuki giving a bitter scoff.

''You selfish idiot,'' she said quietly, returning the embrace as well as she could with her arms clamped under mine. ''I've been running and dodging my whole life, you've now _seen_ those struggles... all I'm asking is to stop, why can't you let me...?'' she asked, her voice shaking. I could feel her balling her hands to fists, crumbling my haori at my back. I buried my nose deeper down her neck, closing my eyes.

''Then I'll carry you, and walk for the both of us,'' I said, my arms pulling her closer, being drowned in her scent. ''Because I'm a selfish idiot.''

Miyuki chuckled, and slowly, laughter morphed to sobs. ''Why is it... why is it that you can shatter my resolve so easily...?! Why, dammit?!'' She cried in my shoulder, her whole body shaking. I frowned deeply.

''I'm sorry, Miyuki,'' I said, wondering if she heard my apology over her sobs. Tears flew down her cheeks, soaking my shoulder as she constantly chanted 'baka' over and over again.

After a while the sobs died down to mere sniffles, she buried her face in my chest, making me blush.

''Damn you... always taking advantage of me...'' My blush deepened when I remembered her saying that when I was drunk and had pinned her down... I mentally shook my head, returning back to the present.

''_Me_ taking advantage of _you_? I'm pretty sure that its the other way around,'' I said with a hint of tease in my voice. She shook her head.

''...Baka...'' I chuckled when I heard that mutter under her breath. She agreed, and that was all I needed.

''Woohoo, you two sure are getting a lovey-dovey, ain't cha?''

I twitched, my eyes snapping open and my head jerking up. I also felt Miyuki twitch in my arms, and we both slowly turned our heads to see Natsume staring at us with a wide, cheeky grin. I could feel every single drop of my blood rushing up to my face, my eyes growing wider by the second. Without any time to waste I jumped away from Miyuki instantaneously, and I looked away, crossing my arms in my sleeves. I didn't even want to know how bright my face must have been, but I tried to keep myself as dignified as possible as I scowled, with my eyes closed. My eyebrows were creased, and making involuntary twitches.

''I-I have no idea w-what you're trying to i-imply...'' I said, and could feel a distinct pulse in my head throbbing as I heard laughter. I swiftly turned my head to glare at Natsume. But I my eyes widened when I realized that it wasn't Natsume who was laughing - it was Miyuki. I could feel the heat on my face getting warmer, and narrowed my eyes in annoyance as I looked away again... I was glad that she wasn't crying anymore.

But that girl was moodier than a drunk Matsumoto.

''Souka, souka,'' Natsume said, smiling and unconvinced. She then turned to face Miyuki with amusement glittering in her emerald eyes. ''Are you alright now, Miyuki?'' she asked. Amethyst eyes softened as they gazed into the other.

''Yeah, somewhat,'' she said. I blinked at them.

''...You two know each other already?'' I asked, not being able to hide the surprise on my face. Miyuki sighed.

''She spent hours, and hours, and HOURS insulting me non-stop. Let lightning strike me if I don't know her yet,'' Miyuki said, crossing her arms. Natsume snickered.

''Cut me some slack, I was worried!'' she said, and then turned over at me. A small, satisfied grin on her face. ''Though I was expecting more action... Its over now, Hitsugaya-taichou.'' She brought her hand up and with a flick of a wrist, my body was starting to fade. My eyes widened, ''Don't freak. I'm just transferring your soul back to your spirit shell,'' she said.

''Miyuki will wake up soon.''

The next thing I knew I flew back, and my back made contact with the wooden floor of Flamel's room. I rubbed the back of my head, ''Shikusho...'' I cursed, and soon blinked when I heard Matsumoto's voice.

''Taichou!'' She ran over to me, and I looked around the room franticly, noticing that everything was exactly like it was when I 'left'. It was still day, even though I could've sworn that I was in Miyuki's soul for at least more than seven hours. I looked up my lieutenant, who had a flabbergasted look on her face.

''Are you alright? Why was that so fast? Did something happen?!'' she asked, worry obvious in her voice. _Fast_? After taking a short moment to compose myself and calm down, I shook my head.

''Everything's alright,'' I said. ''Miyuki's alright...''

''Yokatta...'' A sigh of relief escaped her mouth, and I turned my head to see Flamel kneeling next to Miyuki's unconscious body. I widened my eyes before jumping to my feet.

''Miyuki!'' I exclaimed, running by her side, kneeling down next to her. My eyes staring at her intently, and my eyebrows were furrowed in worry. Natsume may have given me her word, but I...

The raven-haired girl stirred, and slowly her eyes fluttered open. I could feel a wave of euphoria washing over me when I realized that it was amethyst irises which peeked out of her eyelids. A smile unconsciously crossed my lips.

''Mi-''

I was cut off by my lieutenant flying past me and crushing Miyuki in her death-grip. ''OhMiyukiyou'reokayIwassoworriedIthoughtyouweren'tevergonnawakeupandthatNatsumegirlwasmeanandscaryand-'' I could feel my eyebrow twitching in annoyance at Matsumoto's behavior. Miyuki was squirming in the woman's ridiculous cleavage, and gasped for air when she got her head out.

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

''HOLY CRAP! I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE!'' I yelled out, making sure that my lungs were able to function properly on their own. My head tilted up to meet the bright smile of a strawberry blonde shinigami. Though the hug was a tad too much, I couldn't exactly scold her for making her worry.

''I really like you too, Rangiku, but I also like air.'' I gasped in horror when I she hugged me close again. My eyes widened when she didn't give me a death-hold like she did earlier on - she gave me a tight, but comfortable hug.

''I'm so, so glad...'' she whispered. I smiled weakly before rubbing her back.

''Sorry for causing so much trouble. It's okay now,'' I said, and softened my eyes when I felt Rangiku tightening her hold on me. I smiled slightly, feeling that she wasn't going to let go for a little while. My mind wandered back to the conversation I had with Natsume before I woke up.

_After Toushirou disappeared, I glanced at Natsume. _Where do you come from?_ I asked, curious. Natsume shrugged._

'Dunno. Your mind?'_ she asked, and I sighed._

You know everything I know, and I know everything you know. Even so we're not the same person._ My eyebrows creased to a confused line over my dark eyes. She shrugged, _again_._

'Keh, I don't know where I come from, I don't know where I go either. But I don't care - this whole unfolding event is quite entertaining. I'm interested to know what will happen now that the three taichou have betrayed Soul Society.'

...Quite the sadistic type, aren't you?

'And I'm damn proud of it.' _A wide smirk crossed her lips as she looked at me triumphantly._

After that memory went through my mind, I saw with big eyes as Natsume's transparent form appeared next to me, sitting crossed-legged, and no one seemed to be able to see her.

_'I told you that it was worth returning, right?'_ she asked, her lips never moving as she crossed her arms, smirking with a challenging brow. _'Even if it is important, your past is not worth your present nor your future.'_ She turned her head to look at Rangiku then at Toushirou. _'They are your present. Aren't they at least worth a shot to try again?'_ she asked, looking back at me with soft eyes. I turned my head to see the side of Rangiku's face, and blinked when I saw a tear sliding down her cheek. A small smile crossed my lips.

..._Yeah, they are_, I told over my mind and closed my eyes. _Arigato, Natsume_.

_'Don't thank me... thank yer chichou.'_

I blushed before opening an eye to glare at the transparent figure. She snickered and her form faded, her transparent body completely disappearing. I knew that this condition between Natsume and I will be permanent; two souls in one spirit shell, meaning that the both of us could control this body. Something that Natsume liked to call a 'soul shuffle'.

...I was silently asking myself how come it was me who is living through all these bizarre things.

--

''Yes, I have discussed these matters with Natsume - your condition nothing usual for Soul Reapers, that's for sure,'' Flamel said, tapping her chin slightly. ''Interesting, _very_ interesting.''

The crimson-haired woman was sitting on the couch opposite to Rangiku, Toushirou and I. She sighed, shaking her head. ''I checked throughout all the records, and found nothing,'' she said. Toushirou crossed his arms, glaring at the alchemist.

''I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't bombard Miyuki with questions and theories; she's tired enough as it is,'' he said with a cold voice. Flamel smiled before scratching the back of her head.

''You're right. I guess we're all pooped. This can wait until we get some rest,'' she said, and turned to look at me. ''I'm glad that you're alright, Miyuki.''

''Sorry for making you worry,'' I said, giving her an apologetic smile. She chuckled cheekily as she pointed at Toushirou.

''If you want to apologize to someone for worrying, then it'd be Hitsugaya over here. He was worrying so much he couldn't think straight.'' Before I could answer to that Toushirou jumped to his feet, his face tainted with crimson.

''DAMARE!'' We all laughed, making Toushirou glare at all of us with his flustered face. It was strange, though. After all that, everything reverted pretty much back to normal. I knew from Natsume that Rangiku was a little depressed because of Ichimaru's betrayal, and that Momo has recovered. Aizen, Ichimaru and Tousen have left Seireitei as traitors, Kuchiki Rukia's death sentence was dismissed, and the ryoka were recuperating in Seireitei. I sighed inwardly, I sure have missed a lot, huh? ''Come on, lets go back,'' Toushirou said grumpily, jerking me from my thoughts as he walked over to the door. I heard Rangiku giggling before she stood and pulled me up by the arm.

''Let's go, Miyuki!'' she said, never releasing my wrist. I sighed before giving her a weary, but happy smile.

''I'm coming, I'm coming,'' I said fondly, then looked over my shoulder at the crimson-haired alchemist with a smile. ''Arigato, Flamel-sensei.'' She returned the friendly expression, which was both pleasant and frightening at the same time.

The three of us were walking down the hallway of the 1st Division, and more or less right after she shut Flamel's door, she opened her mouth to release her flying questions. ''What happened, Miyuki? Why were you in that state? Ne, ne, ne, Miyuki?'' I blinked at the pace she was asking, and without even waiting for me to answer, she turned over to Toushirou. ''What did you see, Taichou?''

I could see him twitching, then looking away without answering the question. I frowned. I knew that Natsume guided him through my memories, but I didn't know which ones he saw.

_''And then I go through seeing all these... these horrible, _horrible _memories...!''_

I frowned deeply.

His words were still ringing in my head, and I could still feel my heart beating faster when I remembered him holding me close.

_''Then I'll carry you, and walk for the both of us.'' _

I felt so warm, so secure... and that emotion which I had forgotten during my state of depression came pouring down on me, shattering my will to die. It was as if I had woken up from a terrible nightmare. When you're awake, you think a lot clearer and more sensible; which resulted in me wanting to whack myself over the head for doing something so... utterly _foolish_.

Natsume was right, I was an idiot.

When we came to 10th Division grounds, and I blinked when I felt Rangiku releasing my hand. ''I'm gonna go tell everyone the great news! Kyouraku-taichou, Unohana-taichou, and especially Ukitake-taichou and Soifon-taichou very worried! Not to mention Hinamori!'' the strawberry-blonde said energetically, starting to pace over to the open grounds. I reached a hand out for her.

''Rangiku, you don't have to-!''

''Ja na!'' And she was gone. I snapped my fingers.

''Damn that shunpo.'' I heard Toushirou chuckling at my curse. I looked over to him, and he gestured towards the office. I sighed before jogging to catch up to him, and we just walked in silence as the white walls went by us. The silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't exactly comfortable either. Soon we stood in front of the 10th Division office door, Toushirou opening it. My eyes peeled wide open when I looked inside.

Toushirou's desk was a mess. An absolute, complete, utter _mess_.

I paced over to the desk, my eyes as round as plates. This was something I never believed to ever see; I mean, Hitsugaya Toushirou never, _ever_ leaves his desk in chaos! It's just so... not him!

''Miyuki, what are you-'' He noticed what I was looking at with big eyes. His expression fell. ''Oh, _that_...'' I turned to face him, my bewilderment must've clearly said that I was bewildered.

''Sweet mother of Osirus, what the hell happened?!'' I asked, pointing an accusing finger at the covered desk; there were documents and paper all over, some tea stains, ink stains, and all of the above. He groaned as he rubbed his temples.

''Nothing! There's just been so much to do and the whole fiasco just...'' He sighed, and I blinked when something under his eyes got my attention. I frowned as I walked up close to him, he widened his eyes at me as a small crimson streak appeared on his cheeks. ''O-Oi, Miyuki!'' I ignored his exclaim and glared at him.

''What are those under your eyes?''

''My cheeks?''

''I'm talking about those black _bags_! Have you been sleeping enough?!'' I asked, both angry and worried. He narrowed his eyes, obviously annoyed as he walked past me.

''I've been sleeping just fine, but let me clear this mess up, will you?'' Before he took another step my hand flew out and gripped him firmly around the wrist, effectively halting him. He looked at our hands, a small, pink shade coloring his tanned cheeks before he narrowed his eyes at me again. ''What now?'' he asked. I wrinkled my nose before half-lidding my eyes. Soon I dragged him over to the couch, and pushed him down on it. He plopped onto the sofa, looking up at me with raised eyebrows. I stood in front of him and he tried to stand back up, only to be pushed back down by me.

''Osuwari! (sit)'' I ordered, which made him look up at me with an extremely annoyed glare.

''I'm not a dog!'' he retorted. I smirked before crossing my arms again.

''I'll take care of the desk.''

''But you don't know where all the files go!''

''Photographic memory, Toushirou, photographic memory,'' I said, pointing at my skull. He fixed his brows is a frustrated line before I flashed him a smile as I walked over to his desk. Soon I started sorting the papers out, categorizing the documents, and cleaning the stains off the table. I frowned, not noticing teal eyes were staring at me intently.

''Oi,'' I said without looking up. He answered right after those words left my mouth.

''Nanda? (what)''

''...Sorry... for making you worry.''

There was a brief silence between us before I heard him giving a weary sigh.

''It's fine,'' he said and I looked up at him. He was facing the wall, his arms crossed in his sleeves. A small smile crossed my lips as I carried a small stack of papers to the shelf and put it in the drawer. And I turned around to grin at my accomplishment; the desk was clear again. Tidying things has always been a great challenge for me - I _hated_ it. But... even if Toushirou didn't show, I could tell that he was exhausted. If I would just be standing there, watching him doing all this when he was so tired would make me feel guilty. I scowled as I cursed my conscious.

''That's enough, Miyuki, for heaven's sake-'' I cut him off again as he stood.

''You sit your ass back down there or you won't have an office anymore,'' I said simply as I carried another stack of papers over to the other shelf. A mumble was heard before Toushirou sat back on the couch, his arms crossed. I could see a small smirk playing on his lips.

''Are you threatening me, a taichou?'' he asked. I sorted the pens out as my last job for the desk, and I answered.

''Yep. Your point?''

''You can't just threaten me. I'm a genius. A prodigy. The youngest taichou in history,'' he said, his voice laced with mock and tease. As soon as I finished I walked over to him.

''And an unbelievable pain in the neck,'' I said, adding to his list as I plopped down on the couch next to him. He scoffed.

''I'll let that slide as a thanks for clearing that,'' he said; I could _feel_ his smirk on me as I rolled my eyes.

''I'm oh-so grateful.'' My voice was dripping with sarcasm, but I soon looked at the wall, not being able to face the taichou. Somehow... it's as if just the two of us sitting together was a long, long time ago... ''Toushirou?'' I asked, and I saw him looking at me from the corner of my eye.

''Hn?'' He sounded alert, maybe because he heard the change of my tone.

''...Which memories did you see of Wahrheit?'' I asked, and I could see him blink in surprise before he looked away as well.

''A few,'' he said, as if he didn't know how to answer the question. I sighed.

''That isn't exactly useful.'' He turned to look at me, but I still looked ahead to the wall.

''When they ripped off your fingernails,'' he said, and I noticed him looking at my black-gloved hands. I swallowed a lump in my throat, and listened intently as he continued. ''That event with Ito, Arakaki, and Kobayashi...'' Unconsciously, my hands clenched to fists. ''And your mother's... death.'' I couldn't stop a gasp from escaping my lips as I looked at him with wide eyes. He gazed my face with a sad, sympathetic expression on his face. Something I had rarely ever seen. I sighed as I shook my head slightly. I had been expecting this, but it was still a shock to know that he actually saw all that.

''Was that all?'' I asked, and he nodded. I felt relief washing over me; that he didn't see the time where I was locked up with my parent's corpse lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders. Of all the experiences I endured, that was the last one I wanted him to watch. It was something I didn't want _anyone_ to know about in detail. I looked up at him, a small, apologetic smile on my lips.

''Sorry for making you go through all that...'' Though I was a little angry that my privacy was intruded, it wasn't his fault that it came to that.

He raised his eyebrows at me before smiling somewhat fondly. ''Why are you always apologizing? Stop it.'' I chuckled, and soon saw that he blinked - as if he had just remembered something. He then pouted, his eyes narrowing slightly. I raised my eyebrows at his... childishly cute expression.

''...Who's Koga Masaru?''

My eyes were wide when I heard him muttering that name, but I shook away these old feelings from me. I flashed him a smile.

''Just an incredibly annoying band leader,'' I said, rolling my eyes as those memories flooded my mind. Images of _his_ hazel eyes appeared in my head, but I threw them away bitterly. _That bastard..._

_'...You're not going to tell the chichou?'_

I blinked when I heard Natsume's voice, but inwardly shaking my head. I looked up at a grumpy Toushirou who was frowning._ No, I won't. _Then I chuckled when I realized that I thought that the prodigy looked adorable.

''Jealous?'' I asked out of the blue, full of anticipation. He blinked as he frowned at me, somewhat caught off guard.

''W-What?! NO!'' he said, flushing as he looked away, his nose up high in the air. I smiled at him.

''Not jealous? Well, considering that you need me so much...'' I said, teasing as I closed my eyes when I laughed. Soon I snapped my eyes open when I felt him draping his arm over my shoulder and pulling me close to him. I couldn't stop a blush creeping up my face as my cheeks landed on his chest. His strong, tanned arm held me in place as I was still in a state of surprise. I didn't dare blink.

''Don't phrase that so pathetically...'' he said quietly, and I looked up at him to see that he was blushing, facing ahead. ''I'm sorry for not being able to protect you.'' I widened my eyes when he pulled me closer. ''I promise...'' He shook his head. ''I _swear_ that next time, I...'' his voice trailed off.

''...I know what Natsume did to you during the time I was in withdrawal,'' I said softly. ''I have no intention of blaming you. It wasn't your fault. I was the one who went off to Momo, and I was the one who ran right into Aizen's trap.''

''But I-'' I cut him in.

''No buts-'' he cut me off.

''Shut up and let me finish!'' he said, annoyed. Which made me furrow my eyebrows in confusion when he pulled me closer to him. ''I swore that I'd protect you. The circumstance doesn't matter.'' After a few seconds, a sigh escaped his lips.

''I'm just... happy to have you back... and safe...''

Toushirou never made excuses, unlike me. I was weak in that perspective like many others. I always made excuses for everything, I tried to avoid any kind of responsibility. I never wanted to carry any burdens, never wanted to carry guilt. But that was because I didn't want to have any trivial matters to worry about on top of the ones I already had.

I softened my eyes. ''...You do realize that I will never let go of my past, don't you?'' I asked, ''And that I'm still angry with you for forcing me back?''

''I don't care. I won't let you die, _all _your opinions are _rejected_.'' I raised my eyebrows when I noticed that he was using my phrase. I cracked a smile.

That idiot.

Soon I leaned up, and closed my eyes.

But this was the idiot I fell in love with.

I could hear a gasp from Toushirou as my lips softly touched his cheek. The warmth against my lips were getting warmer, and his breaths were shaky.

After a few seconds, I pulled back. When I opened my eyes I saw wide, teal irises staring at me along with a flustered, shocked expression. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as my blush deepened.

''M-Miyuki...?'' he asked in a mere whisper. A small, warm smile crossed my lips. True, I was angry... but at the same time I was also grateful. I leaned my cheek against his chest again, closing my eyes.

''Arigato, Toushirou.''

''...Baka.''

There was a silence between us. He said nothing, I said nothing. After a while I opened my eyes.

''T-'' I cut myself off when I felt weight softly resting on my head. I blinked, and looked up without moving my head to see, with amazed eyes, that Toushirou had fallen asleep. And was leaning his cheek on top of my head. It took a while for me to recover from my surprise. He must've been _really_ tired to fall asleep just like that. A small smile creeped up on my lips and I closed my eyes again, snuggling into his chest slightly.

''Why do I love this idiot...?'' I asked myself out loud. I snapped my eyes open in panic when he mumbled something, and I thought that he had woken up and heard my confession. But it was only an unintelligible mutter in his sleep, and his arm slid off my shoulders and made itself around my waist. I gave a small chuckle.

''Ah, yes, that's right...'' I said, closing my eyes again. ''I love this idiot because I'm an idiot myself.''

...And if he thinks that he can escape this without me teasing the hell out of him, then he was in for one heck of a disappointment...

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: Miyuki's back! I know that this would have been quite an obvious outcome, but nyeee... I can't just go kill off my main OC! Maybe I'll consider doing a tragedy sometime... XP Many reviewers said that Miyuki needed a hug, and she got one!! **

**Thank you to all those who have reviewed! I write only because and for you! If it weren't for your constant support I most likely would've ended this thing in a few chapters XD**

**Please keep reviewing to tell me your thoughts! And new reviewers are of course always welcomed! **

**Special thanks to Dragon of Twilight for betaing this chapter!**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
Ones Memories.**


	17. Round Battle!

Konnichiwa, Minna-san, here is an omake-like sketch for you! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.

-x-X-x-

**Round Battle!**

_**Omake Special!**_

_**Everyone has a photographic memory, **_

_**some just don't have the film.**_

_**-Higurashi Miyuki**_

-x-X-x-

''Fourth battle, Hitsugaya versus Gin!''

_''I thought I told you... that if you even harm a single hair on Miyuki's head... I'd do something to you. You will regret not taking me seriously that time.''_

_''__**Because I'll give you the experience of being frozen alive!**__''_

_''No fair, Taichou-han, suddenly saying that now...''_

_..._

_''Don't joke around, running won't nearly be enough. Freakin' disppear, Kira! And tell everyone in whole Seireitei, tell them that...'Anyone who is within 50 kilometers in any direction from here... most likely won't see the next sunrise'!!!''_

_..._

_'' 'It wasn't me, Momo', 'please listen to me, Momo', 'I didn't kill Aizen-taichou', 'please stop, Momo', 'I'm begging you, Momo',... It was so entertainin'' ta listen ta Miyuki-chan's whimpers.''_

_''DAMN YOU!'' _

_''She was so scared, so alone. Ya weren't there when she needed ya the most.''_

_''__**One more word, Ichimaru...**__''_

_''What? Don't'cha wanta know everythin' 'bout yer beloved? ...Should I describe how horrified her expression was? ...Or how violently she trembled? ...How shaky her voice was? ...How she was hurting? ...The pain in her cry?''_

_''DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!'' _

_''Oho! Seeing you all flared up is a rare sight, ne?" _

...

_''Oh, I see. I shouldn'a underestimated Hitsugaya Toushirou. It's amazin' how anger in it's peak can turn to power, ain't it?''_

_''No, not yet! You haven't seen my wrath, bastard. For what you did to Miyuki... I'll personally make sure that you can __**never**__lay a __**finger**__ on her again!!!''_

Kon: ''Ahh... _This_ fight?! Its more like a love-confession!''

Miyuki: ''You think so?''

Ichigo: ''I-It's you! From that time!''

Miyuki: ''Higurashi Miyuki. Don't point. It's rude, Kurosaki.''

Renji: ''Oh, Konnichiwa, Higurashi.''

Miyuki: ''Yo, Abarai.''

Ichigo: ''You two know each other?''

Miyuki/Renji: ''Not really.''

Ichigo: *watches video* ''...Is there something between you and Toushirou, Miyuki?''

Miyuki: ''W-What?! NO!''

Ichigo: ''Oho! Getting all red, are we? So there IS something BIG! Admit it!''

Miyuki: ''Kurosaki, do you enjoy living?!''

Ichigo: ''...Yes, ma'am, forgive me, ma'am...''

Kon: ''How can you think that, you dumbass?! She is head over heels in love with me! Miyuki-nee-chan, let me rest in your valley of alchemic wonders!''

*puff* *Miyuki hugs lightly*

Ichigo: ''...You're actually allowing that horny thing to grope you?!''

Miyuki: ''It's a stuffed animal! How the hell is it supposed to have hormones?!''

Ichigo: ''...''

Renji: ''A fight between two or more taichou is something you almost never see, even in Soul Society, no matter what the reason! This is a precious video!''

Ichigo: ''But man, Hyourinmaru is incredible!''

Miyuki: ''Toushirou's Hyourinmaru is the strongest ice/snow-type zanpakuto in the whole of Soul Society. And he told me that he barely ever fights with it released.''

_''It's over, Ichimaru!''_

Ichigo: ''...Remind me never to do anything to make him angry.''

Renji: ''It's not you who should be worrying, it's Kon.''

Kon: ''Huh? Why?''

''**Where do you think you're touching Miyuki?!**''

Kon flinched and looked around the recording room fanatically. ''Who's there?! Which big punk's flappin' his mouth at the great Kon-sama?!''

Hitsugaya rose into view between Miyuki and Ichigo, glaring at the stuffed animal. Teal eyes narrowed, and the toy lion was frozen in a block of ice. Miyuki looked down at Kon with raised eyebrows.

''Oh hey, it's Toushirou!'' Ichigo said, looking over at the shorter shinigami.

''That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you!'' the captain said.

''Don't be a hardass. You let Miyuki call you that, don't you?'' he asked, his grin never fading.

''That's because you are not her. And don't say Miyuki's name as if you two are familiar with each other!'' His eyebrow was twitching in annoyance as he glared at Ichigo. ''And what the hell is that?!'' he asked, pointing his thumb at Kon.

''Oh, that's just the perverted, horny stuffed animal which resulted from a Soul Candy,'' Ichigo said with a shrug, despite Renji waving his arms over his head as a sign for Ichigo to not say anything. Hitsugaya's eyes twitched.

''...Perverted... Horny...?'' he asked as he slowly turned around to face Kon, who broke out of the ice prison from shivering so much. He cowered before the prodigy. Hitsugaya used his tanned arm to reach out for the stuffed animal, and took him from Miyuki's arms with a scowl on his face. Miyuki chuckled.

''What, getting jealous because of a _toy_, Toushirou?''

''Urusei. I need to have a chat with this guy.'' With that, Hitsugaya walked out the door, three pairs of big eyes following him. After the captain slammed the door behind him, the three went over it. But standing four feet away from the door was more than close enough to hear all the beatings and threats from Hitsugaya, as well as the yells and cries for mercy from Kon.

''...Now I know what you mean with Kon needing to worry for his life, Renji...'' Ichigo said with fear obvious in his voice.

_"Gou bantai taichou, Aizen Sousuke._

_The Aizen I knew was a genial and highly admired taichou._

_But the Aizen I know now was the one who was responsible for everything Miyuki had been through._

_He was responsible for Miyuki's pain._

_And he will die by my blade because of that._

_Aizen... I will never forgive you!"_

...And after that cheerful note, here is Kukichi Yuzuki (this is my real Japanese name... don't look so surprised! What local Japanese girl would I be if I didn't have a name?), interviewing all (remaining) Taichou of Gotei Jyuusan of what they think of my OCs, Miyuki and Natsume!

**The Interview!**

_**The facts, although interesting, are generally irrelevant.**_

Miyuki looked at me with arched brows. ''...Why are you starting this like another chapter?''

''Writing is writing! Now, off I gooooo~''

''For crying out loud...'' Natsume said, shaking her head along with Miyuki. But I ignored them and ran off as they decided to leave the studio for some R&R, leaving me to my madness.

**''First interview! Ichibantai taichou, Soutaichou, Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni!'' **I said dramatically as I held the microphone to the soutaichou. Though his eyelids were shut, he managed to eye me as if I was a moron for a moment. ''So, standard rows of questions! 1) Who do you prefer, Miyuki or Natsume?'' I asked. Yamamoto let out a small hum of thought, but soon answered.

''I have no preference. Higurashi Miyuki is a charming girl who shows great respect and intellect. Higurashi Natsume is a formidable fighter who is a great asset to the Gotei 13. However, a charmer is not needed in the high ranks of Seireitei. If it weren't for Higurashi Natsume's talent for combat, then I would've taken her away from Hitsugaya-taichou's care.''

I crossed my arms, in deep thought as I nodded in agreement. ''True, true...'' I said, ''Well, that was the main reason why I created Natsume in the first place.'' I looked out to you readers, breaking the fourth wall. ''And here is how Natsume met Yamamoto!''

. . .

''...Why isn't the video playing anything?'' I asked, scratching my head.

''That is because I have never seen her before and there is no video extras on this sketch.''

''...Oh.'' I sighed, and I blew a small puff of air out, which made a lock of black hair shift slightly. ''I was sick of videos anyway.''

**''Second interview! Nibantai taichou, Soifon!''**

As the female captain and I were the same height, she glared into my eyes with her own. ''You're too noisy.''

''Eep! Sorry, ma'am!'' Then I blinked. ''Hey, hang on a sec. Why the hell should I be afraid of anyone here? I'm the author!'' But soon I gave up on my logics and just continued before Soifon could question me. ''Standard row of questions! 1) Who do you prefer, Miyuki or Natsume?''

Without hesitation or even time of thought, the woman answered right away. ''Higurashi Miyuki.''

''Why is that?''

''She has purple eyes.''

''...That's the reason?''

''She has the same eye color as Yoruichi-sama's hair!''

''...'' I turned to look at the audience. After blinking for a moment, I smiled brightly, pretending as if that question was never answered. ''And now let us move on!''

**''Third Interview! Yonbantai taichou, Unohana Retsu!''**

''Well, both Miyuki-chan and Natsume-kun are likable. I like one just as much as the other.'' The woman said, a kind smile never leaving her face.

''Why is that?''

''They're both so different, having different characters. I find them both charming.''

''Okay, then... How would you explain them?''

''Miyuki-chan is open and intelligent. A very deep girl. Though her tendency to be shameless at times is both amusing but not very likeable,'' she said. ''Natsume is hard working and loyal. I admire her care for Miyuki-chan, but she is a bit to sadistic and reckless.''

''Hmm, I see, I see. Thank you very much for your time!''

**''Fourth Interview! Rokubantai taichou, Kuchiki Byakuya!''**

''There is no comparison. Higurashi Natsume.''

I blinked. ''Wow, that was quick... why's that?''

''Higurashi Miyuki is useless in battle and has no understanding of combat. Higurashi Natsume is the only useful one.''

''...Hm... Maybe they'll be some ByaXOC later on in this story... hmmm.''

''What was that?''

''Nothing, nothing!''

**''Fifth Interview! Nanabantai taichou, Komamura Sajin!''**

''...I have never seen either. But I have heard of them, yes.''

''So, from just those broadcasts... who would you imagine you'd prefer?''

''I think I would share the same opinion as Genryuusai-dono. I have heard that Higurashi Miyuki is a kind soul, but that is not what we need.''

I smiled up at him. ''Don't worry! Soon, when the next arc arrives, you'll get to know them!''

**''Sixth Interview! Hachibantai taichou, Kyouraku Shunsui!''**

The man blinked for a moment before scoffing softly. ''They're both good girls. I like them both~''

*BANG!*

I jump back in shock when I saw that it was Ise who whacked her captain over the head with that heavily book of hers which she somehow always manages to take along everywhere she goes. She narrowed her eyes at him. ''What are you doing here?! Don't slack off!''

''Aw, gomen na, Nanao-chan~!''

''...And... I guess that ends this interview...'' I said quietly to myself as I saw Kyouraku being dragged away by his lieutenant.

**''Seventh Interview! Jyuubantai taichou, Hitsugaya Toushirou!''**

I blinked for a bit when I faced the white-haired prodigy looking at me with annoyed eyes and crossed arms. I shook my head. ''I don't need to interview you! NEXT!'' He looked perplexed.

''WHAT?!''

I completely ignored him as I continued.

**''Eighth Interview! Jyuuichibantai taichou, Zaraki Kenpachi!''**

''Heh. I have no preference. All I want is to have an all-out battle with Natsume—that Miyuki ain't in the slightest bit appealing to me. Though Natsume's abilities are real interestin'...''

I gulped when I looked up at the grinning captain with big eyes. He gazed down at me with an almost insane smirk.

''You WILL let me have a fight with Natsume, won't cha?''

''Y-Y-Y-Yes, sir!''

**''Nineth Interview! Jyuunibantai taichou, Kurotsuchi Mayuri!''**

''Meh. I'm interested in both, as they are both interesting cases of a Philosopher's Stone...'' A grin stretched his weird face. ''When Hitsugaya isn't looking, I'll just snatch Miyuki from him and—''

''And you'll what, Kurotsuchi?''

Both the 12th division captain and I blinked before a tanned hand shot up to grab Kurotsuchi's weird purple collar-thing and pulled him down face-to-face livid teal eyes. ''I'm listening.''

Lets just say that Kurotsuchi Mayuri's dream of dissecting Higurashi Miyuki was discarded after that.

I furrowed my eyebrows, annoyed by the sudden interruption. ''I'm talking about character-wise, Einstein! I want preference of personality!''

Because the scientist was still in the prodigy's iron grip, he struggled to look up at me. ''Uhm, well, I guess it would be Mi—'' He shivered when teal eyes flashed. ''I mean Natsume! I prefer NASTUMEEE!!! AHH!!!''

I smiled brightly despite the last yell, and turned to face you readers again. ''And there we have it!''

**''Tenth and Final Interview! Jyuusanbantai taichou, Ukitake Juushirou!''**

''Though I feel a little guilty, I guess that it would be Yuki-chan.'' Ukitake said as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, a nervous smile on his lips.

''And why is that?''

''I've known Yuki-chan longer and I don't really like sadistic people...'' I narrowed my brown eyes at his answer.

''Are you telling me that you don't like my character creation?!'' I asked, and I could feel a distinct pulse on my head. ''Is that what you wanna say?!''

A look of comical panic was plastered on Ukitake's face, and he waved his arms around hysterically. ''No, no! I like Natsume! I just like Yuki-chan better!''

''I have divine powers of knowing everything because I am the author of this story. So I know that you're lying.''

''...'' He gulped. ''Because she also has a kind of 'shiro' in her name...''

I blinked, looking at him incredulously. ''I beg your pardon?'' I asked, my British side showing.

''Well, think of it like this! Her name is Miyuki, right? 'Beautiful snow'. And Yuki, 'snow', is white, right? So she's also a kind of shiro-chan! Her skin, maybe!''

I slowly, very slowly, nodded at Ukitake's logic.

''Soooouuuuuka...''

. . .

During the interviews, a big argument resulted between certain captains about which was better and who was right—I was part of this uproar as well. It even got physical, so I had to pull out my zanpakuto (don't ask) to get into an all-in battle with them.

''Yeah, I know, right?'' Natsume said. Both Miyuki and Natsume were laughing and smiling as they came back to the studio, but when they opened the door they blinked at the mess of battling characters. The most of them were random.

''IKUZO (do this), KAMIKAZE!'' I yelled, and released my Shikai form to go on a rampaging scuffle, and the release commands of other captains roared through the air.

''YAAAAA!!!''

''TYAAAAA!!!''

''KYAAAAA!!!''

''HIYAAAAA!!!''

''**GRAAAAWWRRR!!!**''

My two main OCs just blinked. Then Flamel popped up next to them from nowhere in particular. She raised her eyebrows at us, but soon a wide grin stretched her lips at the same time as Natsume's. Both dashed towards the brawl with eager eyes.

''IMMA COMIN' TOOOOOOOOOO!!!''

Miyuki blinked again, and then she turned to look at you with a relatively calm expression.

''Follow if you will.''

_**-Owari-**_

A/N: Pure parody which is related to the round battle special in the anime XD Hope you liked it! This was a filler, or a breather section for all of us, seeing that we had quite a fair amount of horror behind us, ne?

Thank you to all those who have reviewed! Please tell me what you think of this chapter!

Special thanks to Dragon of Twilight for editing!

**Oh, and another thing! I just rewrote the first two chapters. They were of course my first attempt at the tricky genre of HitsuXOC, so there were a few iffy moments as well as grammer mistakes which I can now avoid. Well, I changed a few things in the first chapter, the second I couldn't do much with, XD**

~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!

.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.


	18. Gratitude

**Konnichiwa, Minna-san! Here is the 18th chapter for you all! **

**The rating has gone up to M. Breathing room ^^ There's something in this chapter which my editor-chan said could use it XD**

**Oh, and sorry about updating so late! I intended to leave it for a day or two, then when I tried to post this, the site wouldn't let me log in! Then I thought, fair enough, tomorrow then. And the next freakin' day I can login just fine, but I couldn't submit documents to the bloody thing!! Then to make my day, I found out that I couldn't even review! NOW there's something wrong with the review paging system...JUST WHAT THE HELL?!**

**Sigh...Okay, I'm done now. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE FANCONCEPT OF MY FANFICTIONS.**

-x-X-x-

**Gratitude**

_**We cannot cure the world of sorrows,**_

_**but we can choose to live in joy.**_

-x-X-x-

_''Mi-chan! I'm so glad that you're back and well!'' Kyouraku said, smiling widely as he patted me on the head. I noticed that a group was starting to form around me. There was Ukitake with his subordinates; Kotsubaki and Kiyone. Unohana with Isane. And Kyouraku with Nanao. I sighed in despair when I saw FonShaoLin appearing next to me, eyeing me sternly._

_''Higurashi! Are you sure you're well enough to be wondering about?!'' she asked strictly. _

_I was just going out for a small, little, harmless walk around Seireitei like I usually would do, and next thing I knew I was being surrounded by Shinigami. High-ranked, intimidating, reiatsu-outlet-machines. Soon there was a discussion over something about my health that resulted into an argument between the speakers. My eyebrow twitched in annoyance. _

_''Alright; hear ye, hear ye!'' I yelled out, waving my arms about in an exaggerated manner. ''I, Higurashi Miyuki, am back, fine, and well! I am not dying, am not suffering from a psychotic condition; I just have another voice in the back of my head.'' I grinned when I noticed that my whole audience was cracking at least a small smile, even FonShaoLin. ''Though you should beware because my personality could change instantaneously, as I have another soul in my spirit shell. Don't let that freak you, though. If you stay back I'm sure she won't be compelled to go on a murderous rampage.'' I took a deep breath after I finished my 'professional announcement'. Ukitake gave me an apologetic smile as he scratched the back of his head._

_''Gomen na, Yuki-chan. We were just worried!'' he said and I smiled at him, waving him off. _

_''But I'm really glad that you're alright, Higurashi-chan!'' Kotsubaki said in an energetic voice, and Kiyone jumped out from behind him._

_''WHAT? Since when have you changed your suffix from 'san' to 'chan', Kotsubaki?!'' she asked, then turned to me with a passionate fire in her light purple eyes, her tanned face intense, and her hand was over her heart. ''I am much, much more glad that you're alright, Miyuki-chan!'' she said, and I raised my eyebrow at the sudden change of my title. I laughed nervously, and Kotsubaki had pushed her away._

_''What the hell, Kiyone?! I'm much, much, much, MUCH more glad that Yu-chan's alright!''_

_I sighed when it became obvious that they were battling over Ukitake's affections again. I turned to Unohana before bowing._

_''Natsume told me about the time you attempted to wake me up...'' I said. ''Sumi masen deshta.'' I was surprised when I felt a soft hand cup my chin, tilting my head to look up into kind, blue eyes. _

_''Don't worry about it, child.'' A smile graced her lips. ''The most important thing is that you're well.'' _

_Unohana... really reminded me of my mother. Deep, sapphire blue eyes, black hair, pale skin... But the only setback was that their faces were completely different. Well, I could also say the same thing about Nanao... but Unohana was still more similar looking to my mother because of the curves and... never mind._

_I felt both Kyouraku and Ukitake patting my head; my eyebrows twitched again._

_''Touch my head one more time and I swear I'll bite your kneecaps off!''_

--

Rangiku giggled we both were in the 10th Division's women bath. Though, only the fukutaichou was in the hot tub as I was in the sitting on the bath chair, washing my hair. As I looked through the steam, squinted my eyes I asked myself why we were the only ones in the whole room; though I could imagine that Rangiku just reserved the area for herself for a while. I had just told her what had happened to me earlier that morning and she apparently found it humorous.

''...I really don't see what's so funny in that,'' I said flatly as I raised an eyebrow, foaming the shampoo on my head.

''Oh, it's not that, just... hmm...'' She seemed to be somewhere else in her mind. ''Miyuki, could you raise her arms a little higher?'' I blinked in confusion at her request, my back was facing her so I don't know that she as grinning. I raised my arms higher like she asked as I continued to rub the soap in my hair.

''Uh, Okay... like this?'' I asked.

''Yes, yes, yes! Now, just stay like that...''

''...Rangiku, what is going on in that head of yours?''

''Oh, nothing!''

I sighed as I shook my head before I grabbed a wooden bucket when I stood. I filled it with water before holding it over my head. With a flick of my wrists, I closed my eyes as the water splashed over me, rinsing all the soap in one go. I sighed in content and turned around to re-fill the bucket, but Rangiku's voice stopped me again.

''Oh my God! Miyuki, do NOT move!'' she said excitedly and I froze, then blinked before I turned to look at the fukutaichou.

''...Is there something you need to tell me, Rangiku?'' I asked. She only grinned before waving me off.

''Nothing, nothing~!'' she sang. I furrowed my brows in suspicion as I released the bucket after deciding that I'd just forget the second splash. I made my way over to the hot-tub, and slipped into the warm water.

''You're acting weird,'' I said flatly, making her giggle.

''Souka?''

I sighed before shaking my head. ''If you're making laughing at me because of my figure, then tell me in my face, will you?'' Rangiku widened her eyes at me.

''No, no! I wasn't doing that!''

I sighed. I didn't believe her.

''I know my thighs are fat, you don't need to tell me!'' I said, looking away with a pout. When Rangiku laughed, I turned back to give her an annoyed glare. ''What's so funny?!''

''You're about the first girl I ever met who was complaining about her thighs rather than her boobs!''

I blinked at her before narrowing my eyes.

''So are you now telling me that I have small breasts as well?!'' I asked, not bothering to suppress my frustration. ''My breasts are not small! Bigger than average and I'm damn PROUD of them, so HA! ...But then again, everyone is small-busted next to you!'' She looked at me with that evil glint in her eye and she leaned over to me. I looked around, trying to find a way to escape, but all in vain the fukutaichou used shunpo to get behind me, cupping my breasts from behind.

''Kya!'' I exclaimed, squirming in the woman's grip. But a deep, crimson blush crossed my cheeks when my eyes flew open when she started fondling with my breasts.

''Ah...Ahhh...!'' I cursed myself when I let that moan slip out, biting my lip when she started massaging my chest.

''Mou... Miyuki, we're going to have to do this more often! I need to make you more sensitive for these things!'' she said, ''I need to prepare you for taichou~'' My blushed intensified as she gave my breast a sensual squeeze.

''What did you- o-oh...ah! Ahhh...! Rangiku! Ahh! S-Stop it! Aah...!''

''Waa! That was good!''

''Rangiku! Will you QUIT IT?!''

''Don't you want to please taichou?''

''W-Well, that's-! Ahhh...! Oh...ohhh...ahh...ah! Ahhhh...!''

''I won't need the photos anymore with this~!''

I blinked.

''...Photos?'' My head turned around and gave her a death glare. ''Rangiku? What photos?''

She smiled nervously when I noticed a small, boxed-shaped item behind the corner of the tub. My arm shot out to get it, and I saw, to my horror, a camera. My eyebrow twitched; this explained why Rangiku suddenly wanted me to do poses.

''...You've been taking nude-pictures of me.'' I stated that as a fact rather than a question.

''B-But I only make them for taichou so that he'd loosen up! He always blushes so furiously and it's cute! Besides, it was a great opportunity to show you off!''

''...**MATSUMOTO, I AM GOING TO **_**MURDER**_** YOU!!!**''

*CRASH*

''YAAAAAA!!!''

''GET BACK HERE SO THAT I CAN DRAW BLOOD!!!''

*CRASH!*

''Now I got you, Miyuki!''

''Ah! Let go! Let me go! A-A-A-Ahhhhh...! Oh! Aaaaaahhhhhhh...!!!''

''Success!''

''MATSUMOTOOOO!!!''

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

_''Ahhh...! Rangiku, I'm gonna... oh, ahhh! Hurt you for this, dammit! Ahhh...!''_

I was sitting in front of my desk, looking down at my paperwork. But my face was so red at that moment I was starting to worry that I might get a nosebleed, since I could hear all the noise from the bathing area of the division. My eyebrows twitched in annoyance as the moans continued. I just couldn't concentrate on my work with this...!

_''Iie! Ya...Yada! Don't touch me there! Ahhhh...! O-Oi! Where do you think your hand's going?! Ahhhhhh...! DON'T TOUCH ME DOWN THERE! AAAHH...!!!''_

My eyes were as round as dinner plates. Every single drop of blood in my body had made it's way to my face, my brain producing images in alarming rate. After a while of the moaning never ceasing I stood up and slammed my fists against the table.

''FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST **STOP IT**!!!'' I yelled out, running a hand through my hair, sighing heavily. I needed this moaning to stop; it was driving me crazy!

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

I was marching down the Seireitei grounds again, muttering curses under my breath. My face was still flustered, but anyone who saw my expression would think it was because of anger instead of the real reason. I groaned when I saw Natsume materializing in her transparent form next to me, grinning from ear to ear.

_'Come on, don't tell me that you didn't find it an interesting experience! Besides, did you see Hitsugaya-taichou's face?'_

I blinked and felt my eye twitching in pure annoyance as I blushed. She just walked faster to keep up with me when I quickened my pace.

_...I hate you._

_'I love you too-'_ She cut herself off when she saw a shinigami crashing out the window of the 11th division training hall. Amethyst and emerald eyes were peeled open, staring at the knocked out shinigami on the floor, shards of glace covering him. _'HOLY SHIT ON A SANDWICH WITH _(BEEP)_ ONTOP! THAT GUY JUST GOT KILLED TO DEATH!'_ she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the motionless body next to us. I wasn't remembering her swearword as a 'beep' because I was lazy, it was because I honestly heard that.

_First, Natsume; you can't kill people to death. Either you kill them and they are stone dead, or you don't kill them and they live. But in this case the guy was just thrown out a bloody window so shut up._

Still curious, I walked over to the 11th Division training hall and looked inside through the window, and noticed that it was the ryoka leader... Kurosaki Ichigo I think he was called. Standing opposite to him was the 3rd seat of the 11th division, Madarame Ikkaku. And sitting around those two was a group of 11th shinigami officers. I tilted my head to the side as I listened to their stupid, but insanely entertaining conversation.

''Oh? You've got guts, Ichigo. You sure? In recuperation or not, I won't hold back,'' Madarame turning to face the oranged-haired student.

''We're _both_ in recuperation. Actually, I wasn't even sick, just injured,'' Kurosaki said before shrugging, his wooden sword tapping against his color-bone.

''It's the same thing! The time you get injured and then heal up is called recuperation, too!'' The skin-head narrowed his eyes is annoyance.

''No, it's not!''

''Then what's it called when you're injured and get healed? Tell me!''

''Well, that's...'' Kurosaki's voice trailed off, his frown creasing his mouth. ''...I dunno...''

''See, you don't know! Go back and learn Japanese again, dumbass!''

''What'd you say?! What's with you, always shavin' your head eventhough there's nothin' in it!''

''Oh?'' Kurosaki seemed to have hit the nerve in Madarame's bald head. ''ALRIGHT THEN, HOW ABOUT WHOEVER WINS IS RIGHT?!'' Madarame suggested as he launched himself into a dramatic fighting pose.

A clearly visible vein pulse on Kurosaki's head, too. Though it was admittedly harder to notice than Madarame's; considering that he doesn't have a full head of hair. ''ALRIGHT, BRING IT ON! I'LL SHOW YOU JAPANESE IS MY BEST SUBJECT!!!'' he yelled and their wooden swords clashed. But before anything else happened the entrance door slid open to reveal Zaraki Kenpachi, captain of the 11th division.

''Yo,'' he said simply. Both Kurosaki and Madarame turned around and looked at him, making a remarkably intelligent reply.

''Huh?''

The division officers gathered before their captain and bowed. ''Good morning, Taichou!'' they yelled in an union. I shook my head slightly at the randomness of the scenario.

''Huh?'' Zaraki exclaimed as he saw Kurosaki, ''Hey, it's Ichigo.'' His pink-haired fukutaichou peeked out of his shoulder.

''Icchi! Morny!'' she said in her usual, cheery voice as she gave him a wave.

''Your wounds all better?'' Zaraki asked, acting as if Yachiru never made a comment... though then again, that might be the best way to handle her...

''Y-Yeah...'' Kurosaki answered, and turned to face him with a thumbs up. ''Thankfully, I'm all goo-'' his words died in his throat when his wooden sword was slashed in half. He looked at the bersted used-to-be practice sword then back at Zaraki, who had his Zanpakto drawn.

Uh oh...

''That so? Good to hear. Now I can let loose... AND FIGHT WITH YOU!'' the 11th division Taichou said with a smirk and brought his sword down.

Okay, I'm getting out of here now...

When I walked off I could faintly hear the childish fukutaichou saying, ''Ken-chan! This way, this way!''

''Hey, dammit! Ichigo, wait! You won't get away! Come back here!'' Zaraki's yell became fainter as he ran off after Ichigo, who obviously was running for dear life. I scoffed. You'd have to be **insane** to stop running from that guy in that fit of his. But I wasn't worried, since the mood was too easy-going for a death-match... and Kurosaki was dashing fast enough.

How ironic, just a few days ago the Gotei 13 were hell-bent in executing Kuchiki Rukia and exterminating the ryoka. Now looking at things, I had to suppress a scoff. My eyes saddened when I allowed my thoughts to wander.

Aizen Sousuke... so he really was the chief doctor of Wahrheit, wasn't he? He was the one responsible for my time in Wahrheit, he was the one responsible for my parents' deaths...

Those two who were with Aizen, were they really my mother and father? Were they imitations? Were they being controlled? Why was it that they had memories? How did Aizen get his hands on them? What will happen to them now? Why were they under Aizen?

I sighed as I rubbed my temple, so many thoughts and theories were whirling around in my head. My eyes softened when I remembered Toushirou's words.

_''Don't think about it, Miyuki. Until we have concrete information and truth we can rely on, assuming things is stupid.''_

I chuckled. Assuming things without any proof has always been one of my favorite occupations. With that reasurance Toushirou single-handedly insulted my hobby. Though, in this context, he was right.

But those questions were bugging me non-stop, regardless.

My thoughts made a halt when I walked by the 5th Division building - and saw Hinamori giving orders to the post. She was standing in the open court-yard of the division, and her arms were pointing in pecific directions as I saw her mouth opening and closing as she spoke her orders. I smiled wryly. With the captains gone, their lieutenants will be having to keep the division in order. After she dispatched a group, I ran over to her, waving.

''Yo, Momo!''

I saw her eyes flying open before she snapped her head around to face me with wide eyes. ''M-Miyuki!''

Crossing my arms, I smiled up at her as I came up to her. ''Looks like you've got your hands full!'' I said, looking at the members patrolling around. She nodded meekly.

''Yeah...since Aizen-taichou has...'' I frowned when I heard the sad tone in her voice. ''Miyuki, about when I tried to...'' her sentence trailed off as she looked down at her feet, ashamed. I sighed softly.

''You've already apologized, haven't you? I heard from Natsume,'' I said, sincerely meaning what I was about to say, ''So it's okay and put behind. Don't sweat over it.''

''But I-!''

''Oh for crying out bloody loud! Are you going to be persistant too?!'' I asked, glaring at her with narrowed eyes, and she coward at my expression. I wasn't angry at Momo - true, I was upset, but she apologiyed, end of story. And, were I to be honest... if the same thing happened to me, and Toushirou had left me a letter with those words against Momo...then most likely I would've also... ''I'm sick of people saying 'sorry' to me! It's been going on since yesterday and I have no bloody clue what they're apologizing for!'' She gulped, making my inwardly smirk at my accomplishment of lightening the mood. ''Do you understand!?''

''Y-Yes, ma'am! I'm sor-''

''What was that?!''

''Nothing, ma'am!'' she said, alarmed and waving her arms in front of her in a defensive manner. Soon she sighed and looked at me with a smile, and I was caught off guard when she gave me a hug. ''I'm so glad that you're alright...'' she said as she tighten the embrace.

I laughed as I pat her back, ''...I think _that_ line's familiar...'' I said in a low voice, remembering the debate between Kiyone and Kotsubaki. She chuckled, but never loosened her grip on me.

''Can I thank you, then?'' she asked and I raised my eyebrows at that.

''Huh? What for?''

''Thank you... for forgiving me.''

We just stayed like that for a few more minutes, with her muttering 'thank you' over and over again. I sighed slightly, but it was still better than her chanting 'I'm sorry'...

I looked at the side of Momo's smiling, bright face from the corner of my eye, feeling a smile tugging my lips as well.

...To think I was going to throw her away...

I really was an idiot.

But it was quite noticable that I was being hugged or grabbed a lot lately. Must have been because of my height.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

I was pacing back and forth in my office with my arms crossed. My brows were furrowed, my mouth was pulled in a scowl as my finger tapped involuntarily and impatiently against my arm.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. 17:43

My head looked back down and I continued my aimless pacing.

I looked up at the clock again. 17:44

Dammit.

Pace, pace, pace, pace, pace.

Look up. 17:44

The door slid open and I snapped my head over to look at the opening, my mouth opened to speak. ''Miyu-!'' I cut myself when I saw that it was Matsumoto. I sighed in frustration before giving her an annoyed look. Today wasn't paperwork day, and when Matsumoto comes to the office when it isn't paperwork day, then it's a bad omen.

She grinned at me, making me narrow my eyes. That giddy grin... she caught what I had said earlier on.

''Oooh, Taichou! Anxiously waiting for Miyuki's return, ne?'' she asked. I groaned before looking away so that she wouldn't be able to see my blush. ''She's with Flamel. But you should have seen your face when you looked at Miyuki! What compelled that ripe-tomato taint, taichou? Did you hear the moans?'' I gulped when she started digging. ''Waa, look at that blush! You really did hear it!'' I cringed when she leaned in to look at my flustered face with surprise, my eyes were wide with both embarrassment and shock as I backed away.

She grinned evilly. ''It was sexy, wasn't it, taichoouu~?'' I narrowed my eyes at her.

''DAMARE!''

She giggled before looking back at me. ''Miyuki...Well, Natsume-kun is with Flamel, so if you want to see Miyuki...'' her voice trailed off and her smirk widened.

''I am not waiting for Miyuki. I am not looking for her, I don't care where she is, and I'm not interested,'' I said flatly, and just looking at my lieutenant told me that she believed none of it; she even looked like she was about so say something along the lines of 'And I've never touched sake before in my life'. We just stood there in silence. Me glaring at her and her grinning at me.

_Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock..._

''I'm going out for a walk.'' With that sudden and clear announcement, I walked out the door to the hallway. A frown creased my expression when I suppressed a blush because I heard Matsumoto laughing histerically behind the door.

As I stomped through the hall, I had the hunch that Flamel and Natsume were in the training ground where the soul reaper trained with Miyuki before the whole mess spun out of control. Since it was shown that Natsume had immense talent with alchemy, Miyuki thought that it would a lot more sensible that she would train with Flamel instead of her, considering the situation we were in.

Even though it was the most logical and rational decision, I still felt a bit upset with how Miyuki handled it. She proposed the idea with a careless expression, as if she weren't worth any trouble. I sighed. I was going to have to work on that inferiority complex of hers. Though I was glad that Miyuki had recovered well, being her usual... _self_. A small smile crossed my lips when that came through my thoughts.

We found out that Flamel used to be married to a shinigami of Soul Society. Though it was many hundreds of years ago, he was still remembered in a few minds as a traitor of Soul Society who was executed at the end. He left behind a son he had with Flamel - she gave birth to him in England, but it turned out that he was born as a shinigami. Because of that, she left him in Seireitei under the Soutaichou's care. No one could imagine that he would turn out like his father.

I thought it was odd that the Soutaichou had so much trust in Flamel that she wouldn't betray Soul Society for the sake of her son. But considering that she had such good relations to Soul Society after the her tragedy, I guessed that this trust was very well justified.

I raised my eyebrows when I heard some curses and swearing ringing through the air.

''WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, YOU SHRIMP?!''

''I CALLED YA AN OLD HAG! ARE YA GETTIN' TA TH' AGE WHERE YA GO DEAF ALREADY?!''

*CRASH!*

I sighed before shaking my head slightly as I walked over to the training ground with crossed arms. I looked at the two females clapping their hands, transmuting ridiculous weapons, as well as throwing kicks and punches at each other. Though their intent was perhaps trivial and downright stupid, their skills were obvious. Natsume was even surprising me with her talent for alchemy and combat, to the point where I admitted to myself that I would rather not like to fight against her.

However I was glad that Natsume turned out to be a worthy fighter - that meant that there was a purpose for Miyuki to be here. I could tell that Yamamoto was starting to get weary with his decision to leave Miyuki under my care, because he thought that she might be of use in battle. In the worse case he might have even discarded her to Rukongai, so in my opinion the pieces have fallen to good places.

Another sigh escaped my mouth when they started coming at each other with swords in their grips. Flamel with her usual, European sword which I remember Miyuki calling a cutlass, and Natsume with a katana; identical to the metallic white one Miyuki used to have. I was sighing because of their yells.

''WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WRINKLY OLD BAG WHO LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS CRUMBLED UP AND USED AS A FLOOR MOP?!''

''I DIDN'T SAY THAT, BUT NOW THAT YA MENTION IT, IT'S A PRETTY ACCURATE DISCRIPTION!''

''...DIIIIEEEE!!!''

I blinked when I heard the jingles of bells from behind me. My eyes narrowed.

''Zaraki?'' I asked, ''What are you doing here?'' It was well known that Zaraki Kenpachi didn't possess the sense of orientation, but I had the feeling that he came here by instinct, judging from his radiating grin.

''That girl ya got under yer care sure is strong. I think that I might just have some fun with her...'' I flashed him a glare as I looked over my shoulder. His grin wavered slightly before I used shunpo to get next to the still-fighting Natsume and grabbed her from the back of her jumper. She was looking at me incredulously after she exclaimed with a 'Gah!'.

''Oi, Hitsugaya-taichou! What in the flaming hell are you doing?!'' she asked, Flamel also giving me an evil look. I glared at Natsume.

''It's past sunset; I know that you could go on forever, but Miyuki is bound to get tired by now! And if you haven't noticed yet,'' I said as I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb, ''you're catching Zaraki's attention - which is probably not in your best interest.'' She raised her eyebrows as I released her. Her eyes wandered over my shoulder before she gulped, doubtlessly seeing Zaraki with that rather berserk smirk on his face.

''...He's got a point. We'll settle things tomorrow, in private grounds,'' Flamel said, walking away as she waved at us slightly. ''Sleep well.''

''You too,'' Natsume said. I was confused that they were making their leave in such a friendly manner, despite the fact that they looked like they were about to bite each other's heads off a few moments ago. I watched the black-haired girl clasping a hand over her chest and closing her eyes. A soft, white glow illuminated around her and she opened her eyelids, revealing amethyst irises. Without letting her say anything, I grabbed her by the arm and used shunpo to arrive in front of the 10th division entrance. She shrieked, and looked up at me with wide eyes as she opened her mouth to speak.

''W-What was that for?!'' she asked, perplexed. I released her arm as I walked down the hall, gesturing Miyuki to walk along side me.

''Zaraki was having a turn. So I got you out of the way,'' I said. She nodded in comprehension before looking ahead.

''You saved me, my hero?'' she teased, and I turned over to look at her with a smirk of my own.

''Obviously. If someone doesn't look out for you, Heaven knows how you'd end up.'' I chuckled when she looked away with her pale cheeks being colored with a nice, red taint.

''Urusai na.'' Her retort just made my chuckle morph to a laugh. Seeing her embarrassed was a rare sight, so I leaned to her face to see the blush, grinning all the while. She just glared at me and tried to run off, but keeping up with her was child's play.

''You're evil!'' she said, pointing an accusing finger at me. I shrugged.

''Your point?'' I crossed my arms as a smirk crossed my lips. ''Don't you find me so attractive like that?'' She blushed harder, and frowned deeply.

''That's- you- I- But-...ARGH! Who the hell made us switch roles?!''

_**-:-:-:-:-Sincere Resolve-:-:-:-:-**_

I stood next to Ukitake as the ryoka walked towards the Senkai gate, and I saw Kuchiki Rukia taking a step forward. I came to watch because I have never seen a Senkai gate before - but after I was saved from that hollow by Toushirou, he brought me back through this gate, didn't he? So it does have some meaning to me. And seeing it glowing like this was... well, quite a sight to witness. The wide, obviously heavy doors were pulled open, the inside of the gate was glowing almost proudly. The figures of the ryoka cast long shadows behind them, nearly reaching where I was standing. And because I was standing too far to actually see the humans, I had to guess their appearance from the outlines of these shades.

The shadow closest to me was obviously a woman's who had long hair - there was only one female in the ryoka lot, so I was sure that it was her - Inoue Orihime. Then there was one with shortish, smooth hair. I assumed that was Ishida Uryuu. And the one next to that was a huge one with curly hair - Yasutora Sado.

Last, but not least, spiky, short hair. I smirked. Kurosaki Ichigo.

''Arigato, Ichigo.''

I blinked when I heard those words escaping Kuchiki Rukia's mouth, and I let out a small scoff. She beat me to even thinking that phrase.

Kurosaki turned around to look at the shinigami with a smile. And with that, the group soon disappeared in the growing light. I looked over to Ukitake, and he seemed to have a sheepish, somewhat shameful look on his face.

''...With formal path, you do mean one where they don't need to run for their lives like crazy, right?'' I asked and the captain twitched before looking at me with a nervous smile, scratching the back of his head. I sighed as I looked ahead at the Senkai gate.

My eyes flickered when I saw Kuchiki Rukia. Smiling slightly I walked over to her. ''Ne, Kuchiki Rukia-san!'' This was the first time I had ever actually interacted with her, now that I thought about it. She blinked at me, and violet eyes stared at amethyst.

''You're from that time...!'' she said, and I smiled slightly as I scratched the back of my head when the captains started leaving.

Somehow, I had the feeling that I was going to see the ryoka soon. That they'd have more than enough time to complain their asses of about the passage.

Just as Yamamoto-soutaichou said...the fight wasn't over yet.

Quite the opposite.

It's just begun.

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: Well, this is the last chapter for this arc. . .Yes, honestly, no bullcrap. XD But I'll be posting another Side-story chapter with all the details of what'll happen and so on and so forth.**

**Thank you to all those who have reviewed! Please tell me what you think of this chapter!**

**And a special thanks to Dragon of Twilight for editing this. Please check out her works as well! And don't forget to review them!...Pretty please?**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	19. End of the Beginning

[Argh! Sorry, sorry! There was a bug on this thing, so I had to remove the chapter then put it back on!]

Haha, I saw my friend doing this, and I laughed my head off. She said about getting the idea from someone else, but I don't care because I like it XD

This happened while Miyuki was still alive, before she went to Soul Society, so it's a **flashback**.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the fanconcept of my fanfictions.

-x-X-x-

**The Definition of a Moron**

_**Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in very large groups.**_

-x-X-x-

I was in the cinema with Sakiko and Koichi, who dragged me along much to my chargin. That's right. I didn't want to be here in the first goddamn place. It was an American movie which was in English, so there were obviously many Europeans in the room. It was a big cinema, an we were sitting in the back, watching 'King Kong versus Godzilla', the old, black and white version. Great movie, lots of random screaming. Masaru, Keiko and Koji were watching a horror movie in the other room instead. Last time I saw those three was when they were arguing to either watch 'Aliens' or 'Saw'.

After ten minutes into the movie, a skinhead walked in, and sat down on the row ahead of us. I dropped my head. He was European, and he was bald. I didn't want to stare because I didn't want to seem racist. I peeked to the side to see Sakiko and Koichi; they reminded me of a moth going to the light as they stared at the bald man. All they saw was a shining, bald nut and they looked like they were compelled to sit behind it and smack him on the head.

I gulped, my face going red in embarressment as I looked back down again; thinking of something to say with the effect of 'I don't know those two people and I've never seen them before in my life.'

Soon Sakiko was nudging me. ''There's a bald guy over there, I'll take over all your school duties for a week if you dare.'' I looked at her for a moment, and being so shallow, I nodded. What harm could it do? I didn't even know the guy. Slowly, I made my way over to the seat right behind the cue-ball...

I raised my hand gave him a good smack right ontop of his head.

''Ahh!'' the man exclaimed before he snapped his head around to glare at me. ''Oi! What'chu want?!'' I raised my eyebrows at his accent. He must've been Welsh. My brain went into hyper-drive, and with an acted expression of realization I opened my mouth to speak.

''Saito!'' The name was random, and I pretended to know him. ''Wat aar yuu doin heer?!'' I asked in very heavily Asian-accented English. He arched a thick brow at me that told me he was asking himself if I was mentally impared. Which didn't surprise me in the slightest.

''...My name's Evan.''

I smiled like an idiot. ''Oh sorry, is mistake,'' I said with bad grammer again. With that, I hurried back to my seat. ''I thought you were someone else, please enjoy the film...'' I didn't know if he could hear the mutter under my breath, but I was too embarressed to find out.

The whole audience was distracted for a second, but they carried on watching the film because King Kong and Godzilla were fighting to the death, howling like there won't be a tomorrow. As I plopped into my seat, I shivered when Sakiko leaned over to me. ''Miyuki-chan, that was great!'' she said, looking over at the guy. ''I'll take over for a month if you do it again.''

I sighed, cursing my weakness. I've always been the lazy type, I'd do just about anything to avoid school duties. Soon I made my way over to the seat behind the man and raised my eybrows when I something red caught my eye. I had hit him so hard the first time there was a red print of my palm on his head. I readied my gloved hand and hit him one over again.

''Ahh! You! What the bloody hell do you want?!'' he asked, flustered and pissed off beyond words. I gulped before I started my act.

''Saito, I know its you, don't lie to me!'' I said, insisting. This time he looked at me as if I was a completely insane person who needed medical help as he rubbed his head. His eyebrows furrowed as he opened his mouth to speak again.

''I said my name's Evan.'' I could tell that he was growing impatient. I, like before, smiled apologeticly like an idiot.

''Sorry, is mistake again!'' And he blinked before I escaped back to my seat. By now I was asking myself if I should perhaps sit somewhere away from my so-called 'friends'.

The skinhead got out of his seat and walked his way all around, and sat on the very side; seat one, row one, away from us. By now we were watching the end of the film, where King Kong and Godzilla had become very good friends. King Kong was on the beach, waving his ridiculously large arm about while he roared and Godzilla was going back to the sea (in a very strange walking-style if I might add... though they are giant gorillas, what am I to say?). He did that one final turn and opened his mouth.

_''Eiiyeeeeeeaaaaaa!!!'' _His roar echoed around the whole cinema.

''As if he said: 'Text me, yeah?''' Sakiko and Koichi laughed at my pun. Laughing didn't disturb anyone, since the whole hall was filled with snickers and giggles at the bad filming of such an old movie.

But soon I gulped when I saw Koichi's eyes flash as something shiny caught his attention and he pointed a finger at it as he leaned closer to me, ''Miyuki-chan, he's down there; seat one, row one...'' he said in an officer's dialect, his eyes trained on the victim. ''I'll take over for three months.'' I glared at the both of them, who were looking at me with wide grins on their faces.

''Each one of you are taking over three months, that's six in total. No excuses, no refunds,'' I said, and their grins widened as they nodded animatedly. I swallowed the lump in my throat, walking all the way over around the seats before I silently sat behind the skinhead.

By this time, no one was watching the film. All eyes were fixed on me, the people were mostly grinning in anticipation as they ate a handful of their popcorns without looking away. From the corner of my eye I could see someone making a smacking motion, not saying anything. He was obviously encouraging me to whack him over the head. I shook my head and took a deep, **deep** breath.

*WHACK!*

''AH! YOU! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU WANT?!''

Dead silence throughout the whole cinema.

My eyes lit up. ''Saito! Here you are! I've been smacking a bald bastard up there for the past half hour!'' I said, pointing at the back row.

...That was needless to say the last time I ever watched a movie with either Hamada Sakiko or Mori Koichi.

_**-Owari-**_

Hm, well. Since this IS the last chapter, maybe I SHOULD end this with a bit of HitsuxMiyu XD

This IS a chapter sketch. It really happens in The Philosopher's storyline. XP

-x-X-x-

**''I love ichigo!''**

_**The weakest part of me releases my most powerful emotions.**_

_**-Hitsugaya Toushirou**_

-x-X-x-

''...You _what_?'' Momo asked, flabbergasted with my casual confession. We were in Rukongai, buying some fruits as presents for Obaa-san before visiting her again today - to which Toushirou has agreed to come, much to my astonishment. Though Momo didn't seem surprised; she actually giggled about something I couldn't quite catch, which thus resulted in Toushirou blushing and snapping like there was no tomorrow.

We had bought a _lot_ of watermelons, and because they weren't really my taste, I decided to go hunting for strawberries - which didn't take long, considering that they were in the stand next to where the watermelons were being sold. I loved strawberries, obviously; I just said that, which made Momo look at me as if I had grown a third eye.

''I love ichigo.'' I looked up at the lieutenant when I repeated my statement, shrugging slightly. Then she looked at me as if I had grown a second head. What? Were the strawberries bad in this place?

I didn't see the captain who was behind us twitching at that before trembling slightly, his fists tight. Anger was radiating from him as his head was tilted down.

Today both Toushirou and Momo took a day off to pay the old woman a visit, so they didn't have to wear their standard shihakusho. Momo wore a dark pink yukata with (I laughed out loud when I saw it) peach imprints on. Well, clothes fitting the name was a nice cliche to have once in while, wasn't it? And Momo forced me to wear the light-pink version of the outfit, much to my chagrin. She was giddy when she saw us together, calling us the 'Momo-sisters'. And Toushirou, being the stubborn spoilsport, refused to wear anything other than the standard robes along with his haori.

''I'll get the other stuff for Baa-chan.''

I blinked when I heard the suppressed wrath in Toushirou's voice, and looked over my shoulder to only see his retreating back. ''Toushirou? Is there something wrong?'' I widened my eyes when he looked over the shoulder at me with glaring teal eyes.

''_Nothing's_ wrong! _Everything's _just **fine**!''

I was taken slightly aback by his sudden aggression, still confused when he looked ahead again, crossed his arms in his sleeves and he walked down the market street. There were quite a few people eyeing him when they saw him walking by; because of not only his black shihakusho, but mainly because of the white haori which practically broadcasted him being a captain of the Gotei Jyuusan. He never liked drawing attention to himself. Now, follow this equation - White, spikey hair. Teal eyes. High status on his uniform. _Short._ - That's my definition of irony.

I turned around completely before my arm unconsciously raised up slightly to reach him as a reflex. ''Toushi—'' He was out of hearing distance. I frowned. What made him so angry? Was he mad at me? Or was he grumpy with today in general? Was it because of his grandmother? Did I say something that upset him?

My thoughts were whirrling around in my mind in a choatic manner before Momo tapped me on the shoulder, since I had been only staring where Toushirou had left. I looked up to see her big, chocolate eyes. ''Miyuki, about what you said...''

I widened my eyes at her words.

''Surely you don't you really love...!?''

I blinked. Then frowned in confusion.

''Ichigo? Yes! I said so three times now!'' I said, sighing as I shook her hand off, irritated because I was worried about Toushirou and because Momo was asking me the same question over and over again. I turned to the stand before looking at the shinigami over the shoulder with half-lidded, dispassionate eyes. My hand raised to point at the strawberries. ''Because I love ichigo, am I allowed to buy some? Or are they that crappy here?'' I asked as I used my other hand to pull the money out Rangiku gave me to buy clothes with. I mentally sighed when the memory resurfaced in my mind. The owner of the stand, a woman, looked at me with a flabbergasted expression before glaring at the back of my head.

Like I cared.

I was too busy arching a brow at Momo's dumbfounded expression.

She had bent over slightly, her arms hanging down, her hands still holding her bags, and her shoulders slacked. She looked at me as if I had scared the living hell out of her with something beneign.

''...WHAT?'' I asked.

''Nothing, nothing,'' she said before turning to look at where Toushirou left a few minutes ago with worried eyes.

I scowled in annoyance. She wasn't going to tell me anything, was she?

--

''Oh, Momo! Miyuki-chan! How nice to see you!'' I smiled when I saw Momo running into the living room to hug the elderly lady with wide arms and happy squeals. When Obaa-san looked up at me, I tilted my head to the side to give her a warm, soft smile.

''It's wonderful to see you again, Obaa-san,'' I said, and walked to one side to reveal the person Obaa-san probably wanted to see more than anyone else. The old woman's beady eyes were wide when she saw the figure behind me. A gasp filled her lungs, and I saw small tears building in the corner of her eyes.

''T...Toushirou...?''

I glanced at the captain to see that the corner of his mouth was shaky, as if he was trying the suppress the urge to give out a wide smile.

Inwardly I sighed. Even to his own grandmother he can be stubborn at times.

The old woman got to her legs as fast as she could with her old bones, but Toushirou helped by going over to her. ''Toushirou...!'' she called as she pulled the prodigy close to her, making him twitch in surprise. She had a hand on his head, patting him as she rubbed her cheek against his, much to his _apparent_ annoyance. Momo giggled at the sight, and I soon followed the suit. ''My little Toushirou!''

''Baa-chan! I'm not _little_!''

Needless to say I shook my head.

I watched with laughter dancing in my eyes as Obaa-san kept cuddling her grandchild with glee. But inside I was confused and in turmoil. When Momo and I caught up to Toushirou after his little disappearing act, he completely ignored me. Even when I would directly ask him something; it was as if he was treating me like air. But because of the situation now I didn't want to start an argument - it wasn't Obaa-san's fault that this mystery-conflict popped out of nowhere.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Momo's cheerful voice.

''Why aren't you sitting down, Miyuki?''

I blinked when I realized that everyone had sit down except for me, as I was seemingly daydreaming. ''Ah, gomen!'' I said hurriedly before sitting down, which happened to be next to Toushirou. I glanced at him to see that he was scowling at me before looking away after he closed his eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him. That jerk! Just what the hell was his problem?!

I turned away from him as well, crossing my arms.

Momo was looking at us with a nervous smile, while Obaa-chan blinked at us, confused. ''Lover's quarrel?'' the old woman asked. Momo laughed dryly, still obviously nervous about the tension, judging from the sweat building on the side of her face.

''S-Something like that...'' she said.

''Keh!'' Toushirou scoffed, crossing his arms as well. ''Don't be joking around! Lover; someone as un-cute as _her_? I would have to be out of my mind to even _think_ about _considering_ that!''

I bit my lip to suppress a wince, deepening my scowl to keep my front up. ''Oh really? Well sorry for being so un-cute!'' I said; he wasn't getting out of this with some muck on his pride now. ''I could think of so many other guys I'd like to be with! Who are handsome, kind, and _tall_! Just why should _I_ consider _you_?''

I didn't see the flinch from Toushirou because I was looking away from him, but I did hear the wordless growl errupting from his throat. ''So Kurosaki is the better choice afterall, is that was you're trying to tell me? Forgive me for not being a giant like him! Or being as stupidly nice as him!'' he said, and I raised my brows when I realized that he was using an unusual form of sarcasm...Was it even sarcasm? ''So tell me! Tell me right now why you're choosing him instead of me!''

A blush creeped up to my cheeks at that particular sentence, confused as I was. I felt my heart beating faster because of his words, which made me feel guilty about what I had said a few moments ago...but then something just popped up with my head as a large questionmark.

''Kurosaki?'' I repeated in a bewildered voice before turning to look at the back of his head, since he was still looking away from me. I barely saw him twitching when the substitute shinigami's name left my mouth. ''Why in the name of buggery are you mentioning Kurosaki of all people?''

Now the twitch was noticable enough for even Obaa-san's old eyes to see. I was taken aback when Toushirou's head snapped back to face me. His eyes were so furious, it almost reminded me of the time when Toushirou scolded me in my 'inner world'. Hurt, anger, frustration...the same emotions, except for one which I never thought would ever see in those teal orbs - envy.

''WHY?! Because you proclaimed your undying love for him; that's why!''

I blinked, which is something I found myself doing rather often lately. Undying love? What undying love? Kurosaki? Hah?

''...Just what in the blue blazes are you talking about? I never claimed to love Kurosaki!''

His eyes widened for a moment before narrowing back to a glare. ''Are you trying to take me for retarded?! You said that when I was right next to you! TWICE, even!'' he scowled before looking away again. My eyes where wide when I saw the seemingly depressed glint in his eyes. '' 'I love Ichigo!', 'I love Ichigo!','' he repeated. ''You even used his given name for that!''

Suddenly everything went click in my head.

I promtly busted out laughing, clutching my sides, falling over and rolling on the floor.

''Oh Kami!...I can't believe that you thought...Hahahaha!'' I couldn't form out proper sentences as I was laughing so hard. I felt both hysteria and relief wash over me, creating a pleasant and energetic feeling. My vision was blurry because of the tears gathering in my eyes, and I only heard muffled noises of Toushirou's demands for me to shut up and explain myself. But I was just too busy laughing at the moment.

Though the prodigy certainly got my attention when his palms slammed on the floor on each side of my head. I blinked when I felt the vibration as I looked up to see that he was hovering over me, looking at me with confused, but intense eyes. I found that having pale skin was extremely unpractical, especially when it came to blushing. He was blushing too, I could tell, but his tanned perplexion gave him an advantage. My heart started beating faster, and my eyes were wide.

''What the hell are you saying!?'' he asked, ''What else could you have been talking about?!''

At that moment, though a little bit bewildered, he looked adorable. My eyes softened and I gave him a warm smile, to which he blushed harder, much to my inner joy. I looked up at the floor above my head and smirked. My hand reached up to grab the paperbag, then pulling it down to where I was being pinned down by Toushirou. I noticed that he was straddling my hips to keep me in one place while I was laughing, so I couldn't squirm out to get the bag like most people would do.

''Yes, yes, I do love ichigo...'' I said, reaching into the bag. Before he could say anything or get any ideas, I pulled out a few strawberries for him to see. ''Why? Don't you like them? They're one of my favorite fruits,'' I said in painfully obvious ignorance.

I grinned at the look Toushirou gave me - more or less identicle to Momo's in the market. 'As if I had scared the living hell out of him with something benign'. Only that his was a lot more dramatic and dumbfounded, as well as flabbergasted. My blush instantly faded, and his too.

''...You were talking about...ichigo...as in strawberries...? Not as Kurosaki Ichigo...?''

I sigh escaped my lips as I shook my head.

''Nope.''

There was an awkward silence between us as he just stared at me with disbelief and I just stared back with raised eyebrows, regardless of our suggestive position.

''...Oh my, Toushirou, how bold you have grown!''

Both Toushirou and I twitched when we heard that elderly voice.

Shit. Forgot about them...

We slowly turned our heads to see our audiance of two were both smiling, with Momo clasping her hands over on each cheek as she squealed slightly, her eyes were practically _sparkling_ with enthusiasm. ''Kya! Shiro-chan!''

Obaa-san was staring at us with a big smile and with wide, unblinking eyes. I think I even saw her leaning closer by stretching her neck to look at us.

Toushirou looked like he had just seen a ghost (excuse the pun). His skin was ghastly pale to prove it. But soon it flushed with different shades of red before he fell on his side, too shocked to keep his balance or even move. I watched with big eyes, thinking that the heat fused his brain before I sat back up to look at his limp form on the ground.

_**-:-:-:-:-Frozen Passion-:-:-:-:-**_

''Ja ne, Obaa-chan! We'll see you soon!'' Hinamori said as she gave Baa-chan another hug.

It was now sunset and was time for us to leave, seeing as going back too late wouldn't please anyone in Seireitei, especially right now after all the chaos. Miyuki bowed her head respectfully before giving her a warm smile. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks when I saw it and looked away. After that little scene, I found myself blushing _whenever_ I was looking at her. It was _annoying_, goddammit! Why was I so angry when I misunderstood?! And why was I so happy when she cleared it up?!

''Stay well, Obaa-san,'' Miyuki said respectfully, making Baa-chan smile at her. Miyuki always had a way to charm elder people, I noticed as my throughts were broken from my train of yellings in my head.

''I put my little Toushirou in your capable hands!'' My eyebrow twitched at the old woman's statement.

''Baa-baa!'' I yelled, using the ruder form for her title, giving her a harmless glare.

Miyuki chuckled, and glanced at me before answering. ''I won't disappoint you, then.'' I blushed at that, and I found the corner of my mind asking myself to what context she was applying that comment to. Soon Obaa-chan turned to me, and gave me a pat on the head. Like she did when I told her I had decided to leave for the academy.

''Do come back again to see me. I really miss you, you know.''

I didn't want Baa-chan to worry about me. I cried when I left her, and I was sure that I made her very worried. Even though she put up a kind, soothing face; she had tears in her eyes that day, decades ago.

Not coming would've been a sign of independency. I wanted her to know that I was alright. That I could take of myself.

But I guess that wasn't necessary anymore. She knows that now.

I allowed a small upturn of the corner of my lips as I looked into the eyes of the person who raised and loved me with all her heart. The reason of my happiness when I was a child.

''Okay, Baa-chan...and I missed you too.''

--

Hinamori had left to go to the bookstore on our way back, but before she left Miyuki and I, she whispered in my ear to 'mend up the damages'. I blushed when I scowled at that annoying memory, and she used shunpo to get away before I could unleash my irritation on her.

I was walking ahead of Miyuki, my arms crossed. To be honest, I was slightly nervous that Miyuki hadn't started making fun of me about that misunderstanding yet. No, scratch that, it was _scaring_ me.

That was probably one of the most embarrassing events of my life, especially when Baa-chan and Hinamori had been watching the whole time, no less! _Damn_ it...

_''So tell me! Tell me right now why you're choosing him instead of me!''_

My face just got warmer when I remember that slipping out of my mouth before I had any control over it.

I sighed wearily before looking at Miyuki from the very corner of my eyes. I looked at her features which I'll always have in detail in my memory.

All these confusing emotions that I was feeling...this was all your fault, Higurashi Miyuki.

Hinamori's words echoed in my mind again as I looked ahead again. 'Mend up the damages', huh? She meant apologizing or somehow redeem myself, didn't she? Easier said than done! What was I supposed to do...?!

I realized that Miyuki and I were just walking in silence for a long time now, which made me fanatically think of something to say.

'I'm glad that was just a misunderstanding, Miyuki.'

'I was REALLY worried.'

'To be honest, I guess I was a bit impatient this time...'

I sighed, not noticing Miyuki raising her eyebrows at that at the weariness of it.

Isn't this great...Not one single kind word to use...I've always been rather bad at things like this...

I stopped walking.

So _casually_...If I just take her hand...

Slowly, I uncrossed my arms and brought my shaking, twitching hand back for her to take. I was blushing, looking away with closed eyes, embarrassed.

But my eyes were wide open when I felt a gloved hand grasping my shaking one, and I soon let out a breath of relief as well. ''Sorry for making you worry, Toushirou,'' I heard Miyuki saying, and I turned to look over my shoulder, seeing her smiling up at me warmly; only making the heat on my face increase in temperature. And my pulse raced.

''But I'm glad that we cleared up the confusion.''

Without saying a word to answer her, I continued walking, her hand still in mine, blushing my face off.

'I'm glad, too.'

'From now on, I'll try harder to be a kinder person for you.'

'You can't make me worry like that.'

'I'm happiest when I'm with you like this...'

A heavy sigh escaped my lips. It's no use...

''Mou! Why're you so gloomy?...Ne, Toushirou? Oi!''

_**-Owari-**_

**A/N: ...And there we have it. The last chapter for this arc. XP**

_**Please read this because this is kind of like an intruction manual XP**_

**Okay, as I said in the last chapter, I'll explain what's going to happen now. I decided to do a multi-story arc. So far I have planned out until the 5th arc, knowing more or less what I plan to do there. This story-line is now called 'The Philosopher', with each title of the arcs having the word philosopher in it. Yes, I know I'm simple. I'm pretty sure about the name of the next one, but it may change. Though if it has something with 'the philosopher' in it, then most likely that is a reliable proof. XD**

**Now, someone has asked me if there would be lemon in this. The answer: Yes, there will be. As well as lime, obviously. But not until the 4th arc, okay? So you could get yourselves ready, but it will take a while. XP They were also people who expressed surprise with Rangiku's little...tease in the last chapter (lol). In Japan, it's like a law to have a few girls in class who would grope you in the changing room. Seriously. That was the main reason why my twin and I always got changed in the bathroom while we studied in good ol' Nihon.**

**I have to brainstorm about this 2nd arc. Because, as embarrassing as it may be, I'm not too sure what I'm going to do with this 2nd arc. I know exactly what's gonna happen in the 3rd and 4th, but no idea on the 2nd, which is a bitch, really XO **

**So...It will take a while. **

**And including for the fact that I have to start with advanced schooling; if you're German or Swiss, then you should be familiar with the term, 'Gymi', or 'Gymnasium'. And to those who just read through that and don't know what I mean; NO, it's not a sports hall. It's a academic path. Google it. XP **

**...But to keep everything together, I will be busy with this whole thing. **

**So, the initial message is, the faster you want me to upload the story, the more reviews I need to remind me that I have to work on it. I'm very fickle. And very worried, to be honest - when I first came here on fanfictionnet I was reading InuYasha fics and even made one. I left to do course work, didn't touch the story for two years, and when I came back I had lost interest in InuYasha completely, deleted it, and started with this one. So, in all honesty, to keep my interest in this, I need reminders and motivators. I'm very easily bored, that's my biggest flaw ^^;**

**I thank every single one who have reviewed, alerted and favored this story. E V E R Y S I N G L E one of you! You are my inspiration and reason to write! And I only write for you!**

**A special thanks to Dragon of Twilight, for betaing this chapter like many others! **

**Sigh. Alright then. This is now the end of this arc. The last time I sign out on this piece! Please review to motivate me! I don't have much of an imagination so I need encouragement! XD**

**~Hate it? Love it? Something in between? Can't decide?  
Review, review, REVIEW!!!**

**.Jibun no Omoi  
One's Memories.**


	20. The Philosopher's Contract

Just wanted to say that the sequel's up for those who didn't know and are interested (which I find unbelievable 0o XD). Hope that you enjoy XP

Daisuki!

Jibun no Omoi.


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